Hearts of Blue

by L.H. Cosway

  “Nine p.m.,” Tony repeated. “Nah, I’m still not seeing it.”

  “Just keep thinking, and it’ll start to make sense.”

  His brow furrowed, and I grinned at how serious he looked when he concentrated. His thick black eyebrows were like two big caterpillars on his face. We’d just finished dealing with a homeless man who’d been causing a drunken disturbance on the tube, and were driving back to the station.

  I heard the scratchy sound of the radio coming on right before a call from dispatch came through. My heart rate picked up when I heard the details of the report. The panic button had been pushed at a city centre bank, and all available units were being called in to investigate. Before the call had even cut off, I hit the sirens, put my foot down on the gas pedal, and hightailed it to the scene.

  It was mid-morning, one of the quieter periods, and everything looked like normal when we arrived on the street where the bank was located. I scanned the area, noticing a few pedestrians strolling by and several parked cars. It was the black transit van that caught my attention, and just as I was pulling up to the kerb, the bank doors flew open. A number of men dressed in dark clothing emerged, their faces disguised beneath balaclavas.

  I swore when I saw two of them were carrying Kalashnikovs, the others with weapons more discreetly hidden. They were also lugging a number of black gym bags. Tony was already on his radio, reporting what we were seeing. The men looked in our direction, the sirens drawing their attentions, then ran straight for the transit van, pulled open the back doors, and hopped inside.

  Within seconds they were speeding away from the scene. Clearly, there’d been a driver waiting. Not even bothering to stop, I gave chase, calling out the van’s licence plate number as the dispatch operator did a search.

  “It was reported stolen two days ago,” he told me, but I wasn’t surprised. Stolen vehicles were business as usual for a bank job.

  We were halfway to Canning Town when three other patrol cars joined in the chase behind us. They were unarmed units, just like us, which wasn’t going to do much good once the thieves began to panic. The sentencing for armed robbery was seven years, more if they’d used their guns to harm anyone. If push came to shove, I had no doubt they’d open fire on us to get away. Suddenly, my palms felt clammy on the steering wheel, my adrenaline kicking in.

  “Where’s my ARV?” I asked dispatch.

  “On its way. Just keep your distance and follow the van until they get there.”

  We were entering a rundown residential district, a jungle of tower blocks with half the windows boarded up. They weren’t going to be able to lose us here, not in the van, anyway. The buildings were too close together, no space for them to speed up and make a break for it.

  Almost as though confirming my thoughts, the van screeched to a halt about two hundred yards ahead of us and the men emerged. I had to stomp hard on the brakes to stop the patrol car before it collided with the van, and by the time we’d ground to a halt, the men were climbing the metal ladder that ran up the side of the nearest building.

  With barely a second to think about it, both Tony and I got out of the car and ran after them. I was first to get on the ladder, and as I looked into the distance, I saw the ARV approaching. If we could just keep track of the thieves until the armed unit caught up with us, then maybe we had a chance of catching them.

  I was probably six or seven rungs ahead of Tony, and the final thief had already disappeared over the roof of the building. By the time I reached the top, all four of them were on the other side. I got there just in time to see the first man jump and breach the gap between one building and the next, and all at once a niggling sense of dread fell over me.

  I ran across the roof, my legs pumping on the flat concrete. I was too slow, though, and all of them bar one had already made the jump, headed for the next building. There was anywhere between fifteen and twenty towers all in the same vicinity, and with them able to jump from one to the other so easily, who knew where they’d end up.

  For some reason, the final thief turned back just before making the jump, and I came face to face with a pair of blue eyes impossible not to recognise. Barely a second passed, but time stood still, the moment dragging out as my heart beat wildly in my chest.

  No.

  Memories flooded my vision. Trevor jumping a ten-foot wall the first time I’d caught him trying to steal a car. Lee telling me he’d made a deal with McGregor to get out of their arrangement. And later, betting me he could make it to the ground from the top of a fifteen-storey building with nothing but his own two feet.

  I blinked back to the present just in time to see him land on the roof of the next building before disappearing out of sight. Trying to gather some composure, I lifted my radio, spouting off details of what had happened, completely on autopilot. A minute later, Tony and several armed officers arrived. I told them how the men had escaped, and immediately a plan was put in place to search every building in the area. I kept busy, helping with the search and trying not to let my mind wander to the reality of what I’d seen.

  Several hours later, after my shift had finished, I found myself sitting on a closed toilet seat in the ladies’ bathroom back at the station, my face in my hands as I experienced a minor anxiety attack.

  Thankfully, no employees or civilians at the bank had been harmed. The sight of the guns was enough to keep everyone from trying to be a hero. The search had been unsuccessful, though a forensics team was currently checking out the abandoned transit van. I didn’t expect them to find anything. Lee was too clever for that.

  He’d just robbed a bank. It wasn’t so shocking when you considered the fact that he’d spent his entire life stealing cars, but then I thought of the amount he’d gotten away with.

  Three million pounds in cash and bearer bonds.

  It suddenly made sense that McGregor was willing to let Lee out of their arrangement. He was going to pay his way out, and good old-fashioned cash was the currency of choice. My entire body grew cold and clammy, and I felt sick to my stomach with the decision that was now weighing heavily on my shoulders.

  Should I give an eyewitness account, saying I’d recognised Lee as one of the robbers? Or should I keep my mouth shut, let him pay his way out of a life of crime, and finally have some semblance of freedom?

  I knew which option my heart desired, but could I live with myself if I allowed Lee away scot-free?

  I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when I finally left the cubicle. Staring at my face in the mirror, it was the first time in my life that I looked at my own reflection and barely recognised the woman who stood before me. In that moment, I knew I was never going to hand Lee in. Was it because I loved him? Was it because I knew deep down he was a good person and deserved a better life? Or was it because I was selfish and didn’t want him to be taken away from me?

  Right then it felt like a mixture of all three.

  When I arrived home that night, it was late and Alexis was fast asleep, light snoring coming from her room. The flat was dark, and when I switched the lamp on, I got a fright to see Lee sitting on the couch.

  Even though I knew it was him, I grew anxious. There was something about the tension in his shoulders that put me on edge. He wasn’t here to whisper sweet nothings in my ear, that was for sure.

  “How did you get in?” I asked into the dimly lit room.

  “Alexis,” he answered simply.

  The last I’d spoken of Lee to my best friend, I’d been wondering if I was in love with him. She didn’t know about Tony discovering our relationship, or about the bank job. As far as she was concerned, she was doing me a favour by letting Lee into our home.

  Passing by the living area, I went and dropped my keys down on the kitchen counter, bracing my hands on the cold Formica and letting out an exhausted sigh. “Why did it have to be me? If I could rewind the clock and go back to this morning, I never would have gotten out of bed. I would’ve called in sick. Then I’d never have to know.”

/>   “You can’t unsee what you saw,” said Lee. “So, what are you gonna do about it?”

  Turning abruptly, I scowled at him. “Is that the only reason you’re here? You want to know if I’m going to turn you in?”

  Lee’s expression was sober. “I’m a survivor, Karla, first and foremost. If someone’s fixing to feed me to the lions, I want to be prepared.”

  My hands clenched into fists, my mouth a firm line as I levelled him with all the animosity I had inside me. “And what if I say I’m going to do it? Will you hurt me? Will you threaten me to keep quiet?” I was glad I’d managed to withhold my tears and keep my voice steady, when all I wanted to do was cry.

  Lee stood from the couch, his posture tense. “You think I have that in me?”

  “I have no idea what you have in you, Lee. Not two days ago you told me you were getting out of the game. Today you robbed a bank. What do you want me to say?”

  “I want you to at least give me the respect I deserve and believe that I’d never lay a hand on you. And if you were going to turn me in, then I think there should be enough loyalty between us by now for you to give me a heads-up. Let me get out of the country before you put me in the firing line.”

  “You’d do that?” I asked, disbelieving. “You’d leave London?”

  “Yeah, and I’d take everyone I care about with me,” he replied before a sad look passed over his features. “Well, almost everyone.”

  My heart hurt, my head swimming with emotions as I tried not to succumb to the tenderness in his voice. Several moments of quiet ensued, and I went to sit on the couch. Lee remained standing, his eyes glued to me like I was a wild animal who might bite at any moment.

  “I’m presuming you gave all the money to McGregor.”

  Lee’s voice was low. “Apparently, the price of freedom these days comes at a cool three million.”

  I flicked my gaze to his. “Do you have any idea what he’s going to do with it?”

  “Buy another villa in Spain for his mistress. Fuck if I know, Snap. All I care about is that he won’t be bothering me or my family again. We can stay in London and go clean. It’s a win-win.”

  “He could use it to do bad things, bring even more crime into the city.”

  “He’s gonna do that anyway. Look, this isn’t about him doing bad, it’s about me doing good. You can sit there and spout all the moral philosophies you want. I still know it’s all bullshit. Nice guys finish last, and I’d step over a thousand people if it meant the ones I cared about were safe, because I know every single one of those thousand would step over me, given half the chance.”

  What he said went against everything I believed in. I could name him a hundred times I’d put a stranger’s safety before my own because it was my job. Still, I understood why he had such a cynical view of the world. His own parents had abandoned him when he was just a child, so too had his aunt. From a young age he’d learned that people were selfish, only out for themselves. It hardened him to believe everyone was like that. For Lee, true altruism didn’t exist. Well, I was going to show him that it did.

  “It’s not true, you know,” I said finally.

  Lee looked back at me, clearly having been lost in his own thoughts. “What’s not true?”

  “That they’d all step over you. I wouldn’t.”

  “Yeah, well, you’re different.”

  “Not really. You just think that way because you’re not looking in the right places. Good people exist, selfless people.”

  Taking a step forward, he closed the space between us and knelt down in front of me. When he spoke, his voice was a whisper. “Was I looking in the right place the day I met you?”

  “Yes,” I replied. “And I’m not turning you in.”

  Lee exhaled a heavy breath, all the tension going out of him. He bent his head to stare at the floor, like he couldn’t bring himself to look at me.

  “Why?” he asked, the quiet word laced with confusion. He was genuinely surprised, and I knew that up until this moment, he truly believed I was going to report him.

  “Because in spite of everything, I can’t help protecting you, the same way I would anyone else who needed it.” As soon as the words were out, I knew they weren’t entirely true, and though I was doing something good for Lee, I wasn’t being selfless. In fact, saving him was probably the most selfish decision I’d ever make. I knew then that I cared more about him than I did my career, or the law, and it was downright terrifying. The thing was, sometimes when I looked at Lee I saw the boy he used to be, the one who had to grow up too fast. The fact that I couldn’t be there to help him back then made me feel so powerless, but I could regain that power by helping him now.

  He lifted his head. “So that’s it? I could be anyone, and you’d still be making the same choice?”

  “Your brothers need you,” I answered, avoiding the question.

  His expression sobered as he drew away, staring at me like he was trying to figure out my game. There was no game. I’d fallen for him, plain and simple, and I’d never be the same again.

  “I won’t forget this,” he said, his voice steady. It wasn’t full of gratitude or emotion, no tears of happiness were shed, but somehow I knew he meant it more this way.

  For the rest of my life, Lee Cross would always believe that he owed me, when in reality he owed me nothing. Maybe someday he’d learn that real gifts were freely given, no need for payment in return.

  Nineteen

  POLICE REPORT

  Case no: 78956012 Date: 25/02/2010

  Reporting Officer: PC Tony Pollard Prepared by: Arresting officer

  Incident: Grand theft auto

  Details of Event:

  At 2:15 p.m. on 25/02, PC Karla Sheehan and I were informed via dispatch of a stolen vehicle en route to our location. Once spotted, we proceeded to chase down the vehicle. When arriving in an area of heavy traffic, the suspect, one Liam Cross, age 20, fled, and both myself and PC Sheehan pursued him on foot until he was caught and apprehended.

  Actions Taken:

  Initial caution was given. The suspect was arrested and transported to Bethnal Green Police Station for processing, where he remained in custody for several hours before a family member posted bail. A date has been set for a preliminary hearing at the Central Criminal Court.

  Summary:

  Liam Cross, age 20, resident of Hackney, East London, was arrested for Grand Theft Auto on February 25th, 2010. Based on his crime, he will face a preliminary court hearing on April 17th, 2010.

  I stared at the short but succinct report Tony had made when he first arrested Liam, biting my lip and dreading the impending day in court. There was nothing I could do now to change what happened, and I’d have to take to the stand and detail the events for the judge, most likely in front of Lee and all his family. It wasn’t going to be easy, but I didn’t have another choice. I couldn’t exactly call in sick.

  It had been three weeks since I’d last seen Lee, and the investigation into the bank robbery had fallen flat. It’d been well-planned, and it was looking like Lee and his brothers were home free. For now. Whatever happened during Liam’s case could throw the family into yet more turmoil.

  The bank job hadn’t been a victimless crime. The employees working that day and the customers present were surely dealing with all kinds of emotional trauma. Still, it was as victimless as you could get in this day and age. I mean, the bank’s money was insured. I tried to reassure myself of this, that at least they hadn’t hurt or killed anyone, but I still felt uneasy. And really, I wondered if it would even be possible for Lee to go straight. Would he go into work in the morning and feel bored? Would he miss the thrill?

  Shouts sounded from the corridor leading to the locker rooms, and I stood to go and check out what the noise was about. When I rounded the corner, I found Tony and Steve in a standoff, DI Jennings with her arms crossed just a few feet away. She was eyeing Steve with nothing short of disdain as he argued with Tony.

  “Nothing but
a pair of bloody jobsworths, the both of you,” Steve fumed, and Jennings raised her hand to pat her mouth, emitting a yawn like she was bored with his theatrics.

  “You’re been suspended indefinitely,” said Tony. “You need to go home and calm down, maybe take some time to reflect on all these stunts you’ve been pulling.”

  “Please hand your badge and your weapons over to PC Pollard,” said Jennings. “You’re delaying my lunch, and I have a date with a tuna sandwich that’s far more interesting than anything you’ve got left to say.”

  I almost laughed, but I reined it in. Tony held his hands out for Steve’s things, and Steve reluctantly handed everything over. When he turned to leave and saw me watching, he shoved me purposefully in the shoulder, muttering something like “nosy bitch” under his breath.

  “Jesus, what happened with him?” I asked, looking to Tony.

  “PC Pollard discovered him taking cash from the evidence room,” Jennings answered simply, before turning and, I’m assuming, going to have her date with that tuna sandwich. What she’d said didn’t surprise me. Tony and I shared a loaded glance, mine laced with thanks. We’d discussed Steve and his underhanded schemes a few times over the last few weeks during our shifts, both of us eager to catch him doing something on camera so we could have him suspended. It looked like Tony had been a busy bee.

  “Have I ever told you how awesome you are?” I said, grinning.

  Tony smiled and casually shrugged. “All the time. Can’t shut you up.”

  I laughed and went to give his hand a squeeze before going back out and returning to my desk. When I arrived home that evening, I found Alexis had cooked roast chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner. My stomach gurgled, reminding me I was hungry, as I went to change clothes and take a shower. The table was set by the time I came back out, and we both sat down to eat.