by Susan Crosby
Chance’s consultation room door opened and a couple came out, the Lombards, both of them smiling, the woman crying. Sara Beth recognized happy tears when she saw them.
“Did you hear, Sara Beth?” Mary Lombard said. “Twins. We’re having twins. It’s a miracle.”
Sara Beth hugged her. “That is the best possible news. Congratulations to both of you.”
They floated away, as delighted, expectant couples tended to do, one of the things that made her work fulfilling. She never tired of offering her congratulations, never tired of seeing their ecstatic faces when their children came into the world.
Sara Beth’s pager went off. She figured Chance wanted her or Ted had returned, but it was Wilma Goodheart, asking her to come to reception. Sara Beth’s footsteps slowed as she spotted Tricia Trahearn in the lobby, studying one of the paintings.
“I told her Dr. Bonner was out of the building, so she asked for you,” Wilma said.
“Thank you, Ms. Goodheart.” Sara Beth approached Tricia, who was wearing an expensive-looking black suit, probably Armani or some other designer.
“Hello, Tricia,” Sara Beth said when she got within earshot. She thought she remembered the woman accurately, how voluptuous she was, as evidenced by her red dress on Valentine’s Day, but this time she looked professional, more…judgelike.
“Hello, Sara Beth.” She extended her hand. “My vacation has come to an end, and I’m heading home to Vermont. I wanted to say goodbye to Ted, but I understand he’s not here.”
“He’ll be back, although I don’t know when. It’s already close to quitting time, so you probably wouldn’t have long to wait. Do you want to do that or is there a message I can give him?”
She glanced at her watch. “I need to get on the road. If you would please tell him I enjoyed seeing him again, and that I hope we can stay in touch.”
“I’ll be happy to.”
Tricia leaned close. “We went out to dinner once, but there was nothing else to it.”
Sara Beth smiled. “He told me.”
Tricia smiled back. “I reminded Ted that night and I’ll caution you. His parents’ expectations are high. They were friendly to you at dinner because their manners are impeccable, but if they thought for a minute that things were really serious between you and Ted? Who knows?”
“Why are you telling me?”
“For Ted’s sake. Because I think you need to decide how important your relationship is. If you end up making him choose between you and his parents, and you’re not serious about him, it might take a while for the rift to heal. In case you haven’t figured it out already, Ted doesn’t make waves. Doesn’t like waves.”
Yes, Sara Beth had noticed that. He avoided conflict, but so did she. Which was probably why they hadn’t discussed the possibility she could be pregnant. They should. “I appreciate your directness,” Sara Beth said.
The subject of their conversation paged her then, saying he was back. He’d probably come in the employee’s entrance.
“He’s returned,” she said after barely a moment’s hesitation. “I’ll take you to him.”
“Never mind. Just tell him goodbye, please. It’s good enough.”
On her way to the lab, Sara Beth stopped by the clinic to see if she was needed for anything, then continued on, hoping she was going to learn why Ted had disappeared.
“You’re back,” she said as she went inside the lab. “Just in time to go home.”
“I’m going to work late tonight to make up for it.”
“Of course you are.” She smiled. “I can stay, too, if you want to work on the manual.”
He put on his lab coat. “I have some other things to do.”
He wasn’t being cool, exactly, but he wasn’t making eye contact, either.
“Tricia was just here. She’s headed back to Vermont and wanted to say goodbye.”
He nodded. She waited, wondering if he would say where he’d gone, but he turned on his computer and stared at the screen.
“I’ll see you later, then,” she said, wondering if she would, Tricia’s caution still echoing in her head.
“Sara Beth.”
“Yes?”
“I went to see your mother.”
She took a couple of steps toward him. “Why?”
“To try to convince her to find out who your father is.” He finally looked at her. “I wasn’t successful in doing anything but irritating her.”
She nodded, unable to speak.
“She wasn’t happy to see me, although it also seemed she was upset about something before I got there.” He took her hand. “I’m sorry.”
“I appreciate that you tried.”
“Do you? I know I should’ve asked you first, but my plan was to get the information then pass it along only if I was successful. I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”
She squeezed his hand, wishing she could just throw herself into his arms. Then suddenly she found she could smile. He’d done a wonderful thing, trying to help her. She appreciated that. Him.
“Thank you so much,” she said.
“It’s the thought that counts?”
“There was action involved, too. Will you come to my place after you’re done here?”
“I’ll even bring dinner.”
“That’s a deal.” She went toward the door then turned around. “I like you a whole lot.” It was the closest she could come to telling him she loved him, something she knew he wasn’t ready to hear now, if ever.
He grinned. “Ditto.”
The fact he’d remembered her saying that to him before kept her smiling—until nine o’clock came and he hadn’t shown up or answered his cell phone.
She finally gave up at eleven-fifteen and went to bed, was almost asleep when her doorbell rang. She trudged downstairs and let him in, the cold air waking her up more than she wanted to be.
“Are you hungry?” she asked.
“Yeah. For you.” He hauled her to him and kissed her, long and thoroughly. “I’m sorry I didn’t call. I got lost in the work.”
“It’s fine. Truly it is.” She cupped his face. “I admire your dedication, Ted. But…” She went up on tiptoe to kiss him.
“But?”
“Tomorrow I’m giving you your own key.”
He went silent. “Are you sure?” he asked finally.
She nodded. She’d never been surer. “I don’t want to go downstairs in the cold to let you in.”
That was the least of it, and they both knew it. Giving him a key was a commitment.
“Okay?” she asked, holding her breath.
“Okay.” Then he slipped his arm around her waist and walked upstairs with her, where he warmed her up in a hurry—and never mentioned giving her a key to his loft in return.
Chapter Fifteen
The following Monday morning, Sara Beth was working with Ted and Chance. The research protocols for the best-practices manual were complete. They’d started on the clinical protocols, which would take a few days more. They didn’t have to work in the lab, but by unspoken agreement were doing just that.
A knock came on the door window. Ramona stood there, framed by the glass, smiling.
“She looks too happy,” Chance said, letting her in.
“I would’ve brought champagne,” Ramona said, “but I knew I couldn’t bring it in here. Oh, how cute,” she said, distracted momentarily as she picked up two small stuffed bears, one pink and one blue, from Sara Beth’s desk.
“For the Johnson twins, born yesterday,” Sara Beth said as Ramona gave them back. She hugged them, loving the feel of their silky soft fur, the bears her traditional gift for every new baby at the clinic. She kept a scrapbook of photographs of the parents, babies and bears when the babies were dressed in their going-home outfits.
“Well, the Johnsons are celebrating and so can you,” Ramona said to Ted and Chance. “You have been vindicated.”
The sound that came from both men blended laughter and relief.
“How’d you manage that so fast?” Ted asked.
“Thanks to your meticulous records, which proved you didn’t apply for the McAdams grant, and copies of your e-mails expressing your desire not to accept the grant, plus a pithily stated letter from the institute’s attorney—” she stopped and drew a breath “—their claim has been declared null and void.”
“Did you get it in writing?” Chance asked.
She passed them each a sheet of paper. “I don’t think you’ll hear from them again. Now, get back to the work you’re supposed to be doing.” She left, a bounce in her step.
Sara Beth whooped with joy. Ted and Chance grinned ear to ear, punching each other’s shoulders. She knew how much the unjust claim had weighed on them.
“Let’s try to avoid any more scandals, Chance,” Ted said.
“You’re directing that at me? I’ve been behaving myself. Have you?”
Sara Beth’s cell phone rang before he could answer. She saw it was her mother and handed the bears to Ted, laughing as he dangled them by the scuffs of their necks in front of him.
“Hi, Mom!”
A beat passed. “You sound chipper.”
“That’s a good word for it. What’s up?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“Oh. Okay. Hold on. I’ll find an empty office—”
“Not on the phone. Please, Sara Beth. I need you to come here to the house. Right now.”
“You want me to leave work?”
“Yes.”
Since her mother was the original never-miss-a-day workaholic, Sara Beth knew it must be serious. “All right. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”
“Something wrong?” Ted asked as she took the bears from him and got her purse from the drawer.
“I don’t know. My mom issued a command performance. I have to go.” She could tell he wanted to ask more questions, but couldn’t in front of Chance. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Sara Beth fretted all the way to her mother’s house. The only other time she could remember her mother sounding so upset was when her mother had died ten years ago. That mother-daughter relationship had been tense and tentative for as long as Sara Beth could remember, yet her mother had mourned deeply. Maybe because it hadn’t been a good relationship? Sara Beth had wondered. Her mother told her once that she’d made a conscious decision to be a better mother than her own, a more loving one.
And except for the one big issue between them, Sara Beth agreed that her mother had succeeded. Their relationship was closer than most of her friends had with their mothers, although Sara Beth didn’t want to disappoint her mother by having gotten pregnant. She wished she knew if she was.
Sara Beth jogged from the bus stop to her mother’s house and went inside. Grace stood at the front window, her arms folded across her stomach, her face ashen.
“What’s wrong?” Sara Beth rushed to her mother’s side.
“I didn’t want to tell you, sweetheart. Not ever. Now I’m being forced to. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Sara Beth took her mother by the hand and led her to the sofa, sitting right next to her.
“This is how the rich and powerful operate, Sara Beth. I’ve told you for years. Now you’ll know.”
“Know what, Mom?”
“Emily Armstrong is gunning for your termination at the institute.”
Sara Beth’s first thought was that her and Ted’s…relationship had been discovered. But the institute didn’t have a nonfraternization rule, so what difference would that make? “Why?”
Grace put her face in her hands for a moment, her legs bouncing, then she looked her daughter in the eye. “Because she found out I spent two weeks with Gerald. He called me last week—the day Ted came to see me, in fact. Gerald warned me then that Emily knew. I’ve been waiting to see what would happen. Today I found out.”
“Wait. Go back. Are you saying you went away with Dr. Armstrong? When?”
“When I said I was in Cancún. Emily went to Greece on vacation. She put Gerald in a private spa while she was gone to see if physical therapy could help him.”
“Did it?”
“Not much. He’s still using a wheelchair most of the time. I helped oversee his care, so I saw for myself how bad off he is. I hadn’t seen him since he retired.”
“I don’t understand. Did you go there as his nurse?”
“I went as his friend. His longtime, caring friend. But Emily had forbidden contact between us outside of the institute, which I had respected—until Gerald called and asked if I’d join him.”
“I’ve always known that Mrs. Armstrong didn’t like you—and me, for years now—but to forbid contact? Why? Why is she so worried about your friendship with Dr. Armstrong? And what does it have to do with me?”
“Oh, sweetheart. Gerald Armstrong is your father.”
The words landed hard on Sara Beth, a gut punch that drove her backward. “You…used—Mom, you used his sperm?”
Grace didn’t answer, just looked at Sara Beth as if she could read her mother’s mind. Then she did. Clearly. Vividly. Everything made sense now. Everything.
“You had an affair with him.”
“Yes.”
“You got pregnant with me.”
“Yes.”
Nausea, hot and sickening, rose in Sara Beth. She’d thought she wanted to know. Thought it would complete her life. But not this. Not this.
She stood, her knees wobbling, and made her way to the front window, seeing nothing, feeling the pain of her mother’s deception. “That means…Lisa is my sister. And Olivia.”
“Yes.”
She had brothers, too—Paul and Derek. “Lisa was born only a month after me.”
Grace came up beside her. “Gerald and Emily had reconciled some major differences. We told everyone I’d gone through artificial insemination. Even Emily believed it. Then you were born, and as you got older, it was apparent you were an Armstrong.”
“There is a painting on the staircase of Dr. Armstrong’s mother.” Sara Beth pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes, recalling a dim memory of the portrait. “Paul and Derek used to tease me about being a long, lost Armstrong. I looked so much like their grandmother.
“Emily confronted Gerald,” Grace said. “He admitted to it.”
“It was when I was fourteen. Wasn’t it? Everything changed then.”
“Yes.”
“How long did your—” she could barely say the word “—affair last?”
“As I said, they’d been having marital problems. I had fallen in love with him years before, but had never acted on it, never said a word. Then he needed me, and I gave in to my feelings. We were together for about a month, then he went back to her, and we never slept together again. We hugged each other once, just once. Right after you were born.”
“He never came to see me?”
“He saw you, but at his house. Emily offered to keep you during the day, to share their nanny. You remember that, I’m sure. It saved me a lot of money, but, selfishly, I wanted you to know your siblings.”
“Didn’t he give you financial support?”
“He helped me to buy this house, but no monthly support, at my request. Then he made sure I was well taken care of in retirement. It was his way of assuring you an inheritance, through me.”
Not ready to deal with it yet, Sara Beth ignored the revelation that Dr. Armstrong was her father. “How could you stand it, Mom? How could you work with him every day, side by side, loving him, not being with him? Why didn’t you get a job somewhere else?”
“You say you’re in love with Ted Bonner. If you are, you can answer that question yourself.”
She shook her head. She could not do that, could not wait for a man to love her back, to be free to love her publicly.
“I have never admired or respected any man as I did Gerald, sweetheart.”
“You denied me a father, even a stepfather, because you couldn’t give up a fantasy, Mom. A fantasy!” She
gestured wildly. “I thought you had your act together better than any woman I know. I’ve always admired you. Now I don’t know what to think. What to believe. And that I could lose the job I love, too? What am I supposed to do about that?”
“I think we need to call Emily’s bluff. She says she’ll tell everyone that you’re Gerald’s daughter, making it too difficult for you to continue working there. She knows you’re not only tenderhearted, but that you would never hurt Lisa.”
“Why would she expose her husband’s infidelity like that? Does she hate him so much?”
“I think she hates me more and therefore, you. But I truly believe she’s bluffing. She’s grasping at straws out of anger that I was with him for those two weeks, sharing his confidences.”
“I don’t blame her.”
Grace assumed a defensive stance. “This is the first time it’s happened. And obviously it wasn’t physical.”
“Mom, put yourself in her shoes. She must have forgiven him or at least accepted that your affair ended, even though I was a visible reminder ever since. But I don’t think it’s the physical infidelity she resents anymore. It’s the emotional one. Two weeks with a former lover? The mother of your child? That would be hard for anyone to swallow.”
Grace burst into tears. “I know, Sara Beth. I know. I’m so angry at myself. My instinct was to say no when Gerald asked me to come. I should’ve listened to my instincts. I should’ve respected Emily.”
Sara Beth offered no comfort, wasn’t ready to hug her mother as if nothing had happened.
“I’m glad you see that, Mom.” But Sara Beth could see her own truth, too. That except for the fact that Ted wasn’t married, Sara Beth could be in the same position as her mother had been, single and pregnant. She couldn’t lose her job, too.
“I have to talk to her. Mrs. Armstrong. I have to get her to see that I won’t tell anyone, that I’ll take the secret to my grave.”
“She won’t see you.”
“I have to try. And I have to see Dr. Armstrong, knowing he’s my father, and that’s he’s known all this time and kept it to himself. I have to be able to understand how he could do that.”
