by Susan Crosby
Sara Beth needed to think back through the years and try to remember any time he’d treated her daughterlike. She needed to get away from the one person she’d trusted most in her life, the one she’d never thought would break that trust, and yet who had lied to her all her life.
“She especially won’t let you see him,” Grace said, insistent. “He stays in bed. He wouldn’t even know you were there, trying to see him. There’s no way around it.”
“If he knew that I knew the truth, would he? Would he talk to me?”
“If Emily weren’t around? Yes, I think he would. He regrets keeping it—you—a secret. You know that Emily and Ted’s mother are friends, right?”
The sudden shift in subject made Sara Beth frown. “Acquaintances, I think. Same-social-circle kind of thing.”
“Which means that Emily has influence there, too. It would only take a sly comment.”
Sara Beth clenched her fists, anger coiled inside her with no way to release it. She had to leave. That was the only thing she knew for sure.
“You know, Mom, it was only a couple of weeks ago that you said if I couldn’t be public about a relationship, something wasn’t right about it.”
“And that was experience talking. Do what I say, you know, not what I do.”
Sara Beth nodded, wishing that could be enough of an answer. She didn’t want to talk anymore. “Give me some time, Mom. I’ll be in touch when I can think more clearly.”
“I love you, baby.” Despair layered her barely uttered words.
“I know.” Sara Beth closed her eyes against the pain. “I love you, too. I just don’t like you very much right now.”
She hurried out the front door. Where to go? What to do?
Ted kept an eye on the lab door, accomplishing so little he might as well just stop working altogether. He’d never experienced anything like it before.
Where was she? Why hadn’t she returned? Why hadn’t she at least called?
He’d never worried about someone like this. For her mother to demand her to leave work, it must be something huge. Sara Beth would need him….
Ted shoved his hands through his hair, much shorter now that he’d finally gotten a haircut. He stared at the employee parking lot, although he knew she would return by bus, and come in the front entrance.
He wandered away, tempted to go to the lobby and wait, tempted to call her, but resisting. He didn’t want to add to the problem, whatever it was.
His gaze landed on the pink and blue teddy bears, which reminded him of her pain over not knowing a father, that special relationship between father and daughter.
A reminder, too, that she could be pregnant.
They hadn’t talked about it. She hadn’t brought it up, and he’d been wrapped up in worry about getting his name cleared. Now that was done. For good, he hoped.
The door swung open. Sara Beth came in, looking much like her mother had when he’d gone to see her, although more hollow-eyed than teary. She made an effort to smile.
He went toward her, needed to grab her tight and hold on, for his sake as much as hers. “Are you all right?”
She put out a hand, preventing him from getting closer. “I came to get the bears. It’s my only chance to take the Johnsons’ picture. They’re on their way home to Quincy.” She sidestepped around him, picked up the bears, clutched them.
She looked…lost. He wanted her to confide in him, to break down in his arms if that was what she needed. He wanted to be the only man with the right to do that.
He wanted to make babies with her. Maybe he already had. And he didn’t want any child of his to grow up without both parents in a loving home.
“Marry me,” he said.
She jerked back. Her expression was one either of shock or horror. “What?”
“Marry me. Please.”
“Ted, please. I can’t deal with this right now. Everything is too raw.”
“Raw? In what way? You can’t deal with a marriage proposal?”
“Not right now. I have to go. Please leave me alone for now. I have a lot to think about.” She rushed out, leaving him standing and staring and bewildered.
Chance came in before the door had closed all the way. “What’s going on with Sara Beth? It’s like she didn’t even see me.”
“She’s upset about something.”
“That call from her mother?”
“I would assume, yes.”
Chance laid a hand on Ted’s shoulder. “And what’s your excuse? You look like hell.”
He spoke without thinking. “I proposed to her. She didn’t seem to appreciate it.” An understatement, he thought.
“Proposed? I didn’t know you were dating.”
“For a month or so. She could be pregnant, Chance.”
Chance dropped into a chair. “You’re the last person I ever would’ve thought might accidentally get a woman pregnant.”
“I’m a little stunned myself.” He sat down next to his friend. “I don’t want anyone to think we had to get married. I want her to marry me so there’s no question about it.”
“So you want to marry her whether or not she’s pregnant?”
“Yeah.” It struck him like lightning then. He loved her. Forever-after loved her.
“So,” Chance drawled. “Knowing you as I do, I’m going to guess that you proposed without the trappings.”
“Trappings? I don’t know what you mean.”
“The traditional big deal, Ted. The roses and candlelight and perfect meal. The pledge of undying love. The special moment she’ll want to paste in her mental scrapbook forever. Those trappings. The bare essentials.”
He hadn’t even come close. He hadn’t even told her that he loved her. They’d been standing in the research lab. He should have told her. “I screwed it up. Big-time. No wonder she didn’t appreciate it.” Well, that and whatever her mother had said to her. His lack of sensitivity wasn’t anything new, he supposed, but she was different. He’d noticed she was upset, but hadn’t taken it into consideration, just forged ahead with his proposal as if her feelings hadn’t mattered. He wasn’t usually so egotistical.
“It’s not too late,” Chance said. “It’ll just take some planning. If you’re interested, I’ve got some ideas.”
They came up with a plan, which was good, because Ted liked plans he could follow. Then he made phone calls to set the works in motion.
He was planning more than the bare essentials, but would it be enough?
Chapter Sixteen
The beautiful house where Sara Beth had spent a good deal of her childhood seemed cold now, and unwelcoming. She climbed the steps and rang the bell, her heart heavy, her legs feeling like she wore concrete shoes.
The door opened. Sara Beth thought she might get sick right there on the landing.
“What are you doing here?” Emily Armstrong asked, her tone haughtier than usual.
“I need to talk to you. Please.”
“We have nothing to say.” She started to shut the door.
“Don’t make me create a scene. I will try, if I have to, to be loud enough that…Dr. Armstrong could hear me.”
“Blackmail? How lovely.” But she allowed Sara Beth inside, took her to the dayroom that was Emily’s personal space, a sunny, feminine room. “Make it fast.”
Sara Beth hadn’t been invited to sit, so she didn’t. “My mother told me everything this morning.”
“I thought she would.” Emily took a seat in a flower-upholstered wingback chair that looked like a throne.
“I only want one thing, Mrs. Armstrong. A chance to talk to Dr.—my father. Just once. Then I’ll leave you both alone. And in return you have my promise to keep the secret forever.”
“And quit your job.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Then, no deal.”
“What do you expect to gain by telling everyone about me? About your husband’s affair? How is that better than me simply keeping the secret?”
He
r eyes turned icy. “He broke his promise to me. He said he would never see her alone again.”
“So, it’s revenge? What will it gain you?”
“Sympathy, I imagine.”
“I understand he broke your trust. I would be furious and hurt, too. But telling the world will only hurt your children.”
She picked a piece of lint off her sharply creased pants. “The casualties of war.”
Sara Beth decided her mother was right. Emily was bluffing. She would not hurt her children that way.
“Until I was fourteen,” Sara Beth said, “I loved you like a second mother. I thought you were so elegant, such a lady. And I always appreciated how you let me hang out here, and let Lisa spend the night with me, how you accepted me as part of your family. When that changed—when I was fourteen and you found out about me, I guess—I was devastated. I didn’t know what I’d done. I cried about it a lot. Lisa’s and my relationship faltered until we both started college, and she didn’t have to account for her whereabouts anymore.”
Sara Beth approached Emily, understanding how hurt she’d been that her husband had strayed—and with a woman whose child she’d accepted almost as her own, not knowing the connection. “Thank you for what you gave me. I appreciate it more than I can say. But I’m not leaving the institute. It’s my home and my passion.”
She walked out of the room, hoping Emily would follow her, to say it would be all right for her to see her father.
It didn’t happen. She wasn’t hailed back. And when she got home, there was no message on her answering machine saying she’d changed her mind, and to please return.
The silence was devastating.
Now what? It wasn’t worth going back to work for the short time that remained of the workday, to try to pretend that her world hadn’t just been turned upside down. She didn’t want to see Ted, either—
Ted. He’d asked her to marry him.
Where had that come from? Marry me, he’d said. That was all.
She wasn’t pregnant—well, she didn’t know if she was pregnant—so why had he bothered? If he’d loved her, he would’ve said so. And then there was the issue with his parents, who had plans for their son. Plans that didn’t include a woman who couldn’t admit that the famous family tree she’d come from had to be kept secret—and who was also the result of an affair, anyway.
Not exactly parent-pleasing credentials.
She wanted to cry, to throw things, to stomp and wail and rend clothing. Instead she crawled into bed and pulled the quilt over her head. It didn’t stop the thoughts from swirling. She needed to get out of the house, focus on something else for a while—
As if she could really be distracted. Right. Sure.
Sara Beth flopped the bedding away from her face, ready to take some kind of action. Ted loomed over her.
She gasped, her heart pounding. She couldn’t scrape out a word.
“I want to take you someplace,” he said quietly, gently, sitting beside her.
“Okay.”
A beat passed. “That was easier than I expected.”
He hadn’t known her thoughts. He’d just come along at the right time, a lifeguard tossing a float to a drowning victim.
He held out a hand to her, helping her stand up. She saw him look her over, and take note that she was still wearing her shoes while in bed.
“Want to talk about it?” he asked.
“Not yet.” Maybe not ever. She didn’t know if she would ever tell another living soul what she’d learned today. “You proposed to me,” she said, deciding to jump that hurdle before it blocked their way.
He smiled a little. “Let’s just shelve that for now, okay? Let’s just go have some fun.”
Startled, worried that they would have to talk about it, she agreed instantly. “That’s a deal.”
She finally noticed he was wearing a suit—and a crisp white shirt and red tie. Red? It was so un-Ted-like, she ran her hand down it, then patted his stomach. He sucked it in.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“It’s a surprise.”
She studied his face and the tender expression that she didn’t dare try to interpret. “I’m guessing I should dress up?”
“That dress you wore on my birthday brings back fond memories, especially what you wore underneath.”
“You mean my fabulous muscle tone?” The fact she could joke said a lot about how comfortable she felt with him. His expression changed, too, from concerned to relieved.
He slid his arms around her waist, moved his hands down her rear, bringing her hips to his. “Anytime you need to talk, I’m here, Sara Beth.”
“I know that. For tonight, this girl just wants to have fun.”
He kissed her before he let her go, the softest, most tender kiss he’d ever given her. Tears pricked her eyes. She hugged him hard, then she went to make herself look beautiful, figuring that at some point he would either repeat the proposal or apologize for it.
She wasn’t sure which she wanted to hear, was ready to hear. It was all too much at once….
Which was a lie. She wanted him to repeat it.
“First a limo and now a private jet?” Sara Beth stared out the car window at the sleek jet with the stairs leading up to it. “How did you swing this? And why?”
“I wanted to wine and dine you in style. Something wrong with that? The plane belongs to an old friend, Rourke Devlin. A fellow Eagle Scout, by the way. It’s how we met.”
“I like him already.” She smiled, took one last bite of a strawberry, then finished the sparkling cider in her flute. She hadn’t commented on the lack of champagne, knowing he was just looking out for her in case she was pregnant, which meant he was as aware of the possibility as she was. She’d accepted the glass without a word.
The limo driver opened the door and helped her out. Ted followed, took her hand and led her up the stairs into the plane. “This is so much fun!” she said. “Thank you.”
“The night has just begun.”
She wouldn’t have guessed he had a lot of romantic gestures in his arsenal, and maybe she was being hit by every one of them tonight, but it didn’t matter if it was a one-time adventure. She wanted the memory.
Tomorrow she would have to face her future—whatever Emily Armstrong decided to do—but tonight she would enjoy herself.
“So are you going to tell me where we’re going?” she asked, when she was buckled in.
“New York City.” He presented her with another glass of sparkling cider and a tray of appetizers—prosciutto-wrapped asparagus, a variety of cheese and crackers, more strawberries. “To tide you over.”
There was so much to talk about, yet neither of them did much talking. They looked out the window, tried to identify cities and landmarks, kept things light and simple, while beneath the surface, emotions bubbled, at least for her.
She caught him staring at her, his expression so serious that she cupped his face and kissed him before he said anything to change the happy mood.
Another limo awaited them. They were whisked away to Central Park, where a carriage took them for a long spin around the park, the night cold and clear. She couldn’t remember them ever saying so little. Until now, they’d always had things to say.
By the time they reached the famous Boat House restaurant, tension had wrapped around them. They were seated at a table overlooking the lake.
She didn’t think she could eat a thing, she’d gotten so worked up. Whatever had made her think she could just have an evening of fun with him? She’d learned today that her mother had had an affair with a man Sara Beth had known all her life, without knowing he was her father. That his wife was justifiably angry about it, but planning to take revenge on Sara Beth, the innocent victim in the whole affair.
And the man she loved had parents who would never accept her. Yet if she was pregnant, she wanted to marry him….
She wanted to marry him anyway, but she didn’t want to burden him with the fact she was not j
ust a child of artificial insemination, lacking the knowledge of her father’s identity, but instead the child of an illicit affair, her father a wealthy, powerful man to rival Ted’s own.
“You’ve stopped having fun,” Ted said, after the waiter had taken their order for Caesar salad and grilled swordfish.
“I’m sorry to ruin the beautiful evening you planned. It’s wonderful, truly. I’m just…” Her burdens came crashing down. She couldn’t keep them at bay for much longer. She was ready to fall apart, ready to cry.
She’d put off reacting to everything she’d learned—had it just been today? Now she had to pay the consequences.
Ted gave her a long look then signaled the waiter and whispered something to him. He returned in a moment with a silver covered dish and presented it to Sara Beth, pulling off the lid, revealing a nosegay of white roses.
Ted reached for her hand. “I love you, Sara Beth.”
She pressed her face into the fragrant bouquet, her eyes stinging, her throat burning, heart racing. When she lifted her head, Ted was beside her, on one knee, holding an open ring box with a gorgeous diamond and sapphire engagement ring.
“I love you. I want to spend my days and nights with you. Please marry me.”
She looked into his hopeful eyes and saw true love there. More than anything she wanted to say yes, but what came out was, “I can’t.”
Chapter Seventeen
Stunned, Ted watched Sara Beth run off. Everyone was staring at the man on bended knee, the meaning of which couldn’t have been lost on anyone. In that scenario, however, usually the woman smiled, misted up, said an enthusiastic yes and threw her arms around the man.
Chance had been wrong. Even the trappings hadn’t mattered. She didn’t love him—yet—in return. He should’ve waited for her to say it first. Now he’d embarrassed them both.
Ted canceled their dinner order, since he was sure she wouldn’t want to sit there and have dinner as if nothing had happened. He dropped the ring box in his pocket. She’d taken the bouquet with her.
“Sir?” The waiter leaned close to him. “We think your companion needs you.”
