Bella's Beast

by Marie Higgins

  He struggled against his emotions again, wanting to take her in his arms, but he resisted. Could she finally be remembering something about their past? “Then I won’t show anyone. Not even Anastasia’s cat.”

  Bella laughed, and it sounded like angels singing.

  “Thank you.” She took a few steps away, but then stopped and looked over her shoulder. “Will I see you at lunchtime?”

  “I’ll be there if you wish it.”

  She nodded. “I wish it.”

  Terrick watched her walk out of the library, and he held back the urge to shout for joy. He wanted to believe things were finally going to smooth out for both of them. They’d been apart for too long. He didn’t want another month to go by without her love.

  SEVEN

  BELLA WAS MORE AT PEACE today, but she couldn’t figure out why. She still didn’t have a memory of her sixteenth year but being here at the Wentworth Estate calmed her. She compared the feeling of coming home. Yet, this wasn’t her home at all. However, the family treated her so kindly as if she were already part of them.

  The lessons with Anastasia went well, but the girl became distracted quite often, and soon, the girl was talking about having a party to introduce her to the town. Bella thought it was a grand idea, but she worried that Terrick wouldn’t agree. After all, she was certain Garrett had spread rumors about the beast at the estate. Yesterday’s incident probably only made things worse with the arrogant man. But Anastasia was determined to have a ball, and she left their lessons to find her father in hopes of convincing him that the party was a good idea.

  Bella took this opportunity to look for Terrick. He’d had several hours now to look through her mother’s book, and she wanted some answers.

  When he wasn’t in the library, she continued moving through the house, peeking in each room on the lower level. As she neared one of the last rooms, she heard someone playing the pianoforte. Immediately, she remembered the music. She’d loved this, but she didn’t know why. Throughout the years, she caught herself many times, humming the tune.

  The door was closed, so she softly knocked. Nobody answered, but the person kept playing. She cautiously opened the door and peeked inside. Terrick sat at the musical instrument, playing. His back was to her, so he didn’t see her walk inside.

  As she approached him, she hummed the tune, smiling wide. This tune made her feel happy and gave her the hope of a deeper happiness that would be in her future. It pleased her more than she realized to know that Terrick could play this tune.

  She stopped behind him, and immediately, he stopped. His body stiffened.

  “Don’t stop,” she said softly.

  Gasping, he turned and looked at her. He wasn’t wearing his scarf, but it was all right. The two large scars and three smaller ones on his face didn’t bother her. It was obvious that he had been a very handsome man. He still was, in fact.

  “Do you know the piece I was playing?”

  She nodded. “Yes, but I don’t know the name. I just know it’s in my mind from time to time. Humming it makes me happy.”

  “Do you remember when you first heard it?”

  “No.” She paused, staring into his amazing gray eyes. “By chance, do you know?”

  He grinned, which made the scar on his lip nearly disappear. “Yes. I was the one who played it for you. The day I played it, you had told me that you’d never heard anything so beautiful in your life.”

  “I haven’t, and I don’t think I ever will.” She moved beside him on the bench, and he slid over to make more room. “Will you play it again?”

  “I’ll do anything for you, Bella.”

  As his fingers stroked each key with perfection, she closed her eyes and followed the tune in her head. The feeling growing inside her was different this time. She had remembered something about her past, even though it was only an emotion inside her. Still, it felt wonderful to realize this.

  She imagined herself running barefoot through a field of dandelions. Her long hair was loose and flapped in the breeze. Laughing, she danced merrily, swinging her arms out as she spun around until she fell to the ground. But then, someone was with her. She couldn’t see a face. She couldn’t hear a voice. She just knew this person was someone she loved with all her heart.

  When Terrick finished the piece, she sighed heavily and leaned her head against his shoulder, smiling. “I could listen to that all day.”

  “And I would play it all day for you, my sweet Bella.”

  His endearment made her heart leap.

  “When do you have to return to my sister?”

  “She’s trying to talk your father into having a ball, here at the estate.”

  Terrick’s body shook, but he didn’t laugh. “That will never happen.”

  “Why?” She straightened and opened her eyes, looking at him.

  “Because I’m a beast. If people come here, it’s only to gawk at me.” He frowned. “I won’t have my family being ridiculed because of my deformities.”

  Her heart clenched. “The only deformity I can see, Terrick, is your ungrateful heart.”

  He scowled. “Ungrateful heart?”

  “Yes. Instead of mourning over the loss of what was taken away from you, perhaps you should ponder over the things the Lord has given you.” She dared to brush her fingers across one of his facial scars. He sucked in a breath and stiffened but didn’t pull away. “You may have a few scars on your face, but—” she slid her hand down his arm to his fingers, “you have perfect fingers that play the most beautiful tunes.” She rested her hand gently on his crippled leg. “You might have difficulties walking, but you have been given a gift very few men possess.” She paused before adding, “The ability to care for others and know when they are hurting and need your help.”

  The color of his eyes had darkened, and his chest rose and fell faster now. When Bella realized how improperly she was touching him, warmth spread over her, nearly melting her. Her throat grew dry, so she swallowed to bring it some moisture.

  “Terrick, all I’m saying is that you should look for the good in your life. If not, you’re going to be miserable.”

  He turned toward her more and took both of her hands, bringing them up to his chest and cradling them. “Tell me, what good can I find when the love of my life was taken from me? Then, to add insult to injury, this same woman had her memory of me erased. But that wasn’t enough. Someone thought I needed more heartache, so I was thrown out of a carriage rolling down a ravine to make my appearance hideous and unbearable.” He shook his head. “I don’t see anything good in that, Bella.”

  “I do,” she whispered over the emotion, making her throat tight. “You lived. You endured it all.”

  The hardness in his expression softened, as did the color of his eyes, making him more pleasant to look at. He really was a fine-looking man, if only he could repair his heart.

  In one quick movement, he released her hands, only to cup her face as he pressed his mouth against hers. The kiss was sudden, and she hitched a breath, but the warmth that had been growing in her body, suddenly became hotter. Her heart beat faster, and the flutters in her belly were out of control.

  He kissed with so much tenderness, and she found herself leaning into him more. His hands left her face to slide down her shoulders and moved around her back. She touched his chest, but not to push him away. Something inside her pulled her closer to him, and she didn’t fight it. The excitement from his kiss kept her there, and she was curious about what would happen if she kissed him back.

  Copying the way his mouth moved over hers, she relaxed and allowed instinct to take over. Immediately, the kiss turned more urgent, and she clung to his shirt, afraid of sliding off the bench and stopping the kiss.

  Then, a voice was heard from outside the room. Someone was calling Bella’s name...

  Anastasia!

  Gasping, she broke the kiss and quickly stood, leaning on the pianoforte for support. Terrick must have heard as well because he began playing the
ir song again, but softer this time. With a shaky hand, she reached up and touched her lips. They felt swollen, but the question was, did they look like she’d just been passionately kissed? She couldn’t have Anastasia thinking the worst.

  “Bella... Oh, there you are.” Anastasia’s voice lifted as she entered the room.

  Trying to calm her rapidly beating heart, she breathed slower and looked over her shoulder at the girl. “Yes. I’ve been listening to your brother play.”

  “That’s wonderful.” Anastasia stopped behind her brother and patted his shoulder. “You haven’t played for several months. I’m happy to see you’re doing it again.”

  He ended and turned on the bench to look at Bella. “I suppose it’s because I’ve been in a better mood lately.”

  “So have I.” Anastasia looked at Bella. “I talked to Father about the ball, and he says it’s a wonderful idea.”

  Terrick released a groan and pushed away from the bench, standing as he folded his arms across his chest. “Having a ball is not a good idea.”

  Anastasia rolled her eyes. “If you don’t wish to attend, then stay in your room. But I need to socialize. I need to meet others my age. Good heavens, Terrick, I should be searching for a husband by now.”

  “Absolutely not.” His voice lifted in authority. “You can wait until you are Bella’s age.”

  Anastasia pouted. “You don’t understand. I don’t have any friends.”

  Terrick ran his fingers through his hair. His nostrils flared with his deep breaths. “I do understand, Ana, but until the wild animal has been captured or killed, I don’t dare have people traveling late at night to their homes. Please understand and be patient.”

  “Do you promise that I can have a ball after the beast has been caught?”

  He nodded. “I promise.”

  Anastasia danced around happily. Bella chuckled over the girl’s response. Bella couldn’t remember acting this young, even when she was seventeen. Her mother’s death had made Bella mature faster than some of her friends.

  “Well, I think playtime is over now.” Bella hooked her arm around Anastasia’s. “Let’s get back to our lessons.”

  She couldn’t help but look back at Terrick before leaving the music room, and she was happy to see he watched her with a lazy smile on his face. It surprised her how giddy she felt – almost as giddy as Anastasia was at this moment. Another thing startled her was that she’d just received her first kiss. Yet, something inside her told her that this was not her first kiss at all. Could that be why she had joined right in and loved it?

  But the main question in her mind was wondering if Terrick was really the man she’d loved and forgotten about. He didn’t seem like a stranger to her anymore, and she enjoyed his company. If only her memory would open soon. If Terrick was really the unknown man in her heart, she wanted to know now.

  TERRICK ASSISTED BELLA into the carriage and struggled to climb in after her. He hated his weakness and wished he looked more like a man in her eyes. He was just grateful that she didn’t comment on it or look at him with pity in her eyes. That was one thing he couldn’t tolerate.

  Once the driver closed the door and climbed up to his seat, the vehicle began its journey toward Bella’s house, with her horse tied to the back.

  Since the kiss earlier this afternoon, he hadn’t seen her that much, and when they did look at each other, her gaze didn’t stay on him long. But, her cheeks reddened, and she wore a grin. That told him what he needed to know. She liked the kiss, maybe almost as he did.

  How could he not get excited about the prospect of her memory finally opening? However, he couldn’t rush it. He needed to have patience.

  “Did you read any more of that book I gave you?” she asked, breaking the silence between them.

  He leaned forward toward her and pulled the book out of his jacket pocket, handing it to her. “I did, and I think I might have figured it out.”

  “You figured out the book?” Her voice lifted as she rested the book on her lap.

  “As you know, my family has a large library, and some of those symbols I’ve seen before. I spent most of the afternoon going through the books to find the one I remember seeing. I finally found it, but...” He paused, trying to put his thoughts into the right words to not startle Bella.

  “But what?”

  “Well, to be honest, I was a little shocked that your grandmother gave your mother a book about witchcraft.”

  She sucked in a quick breath, and her eyes widened. “Witchcraft?” she whispered as though others might be able to hear them. “Are you certain?”

  He shrugged. “That’s what the symbols indicate.”

  “Oh, no.” She shook her head and sat up straighter, but her hands wrung on her lap. “There must be some mistake. My mother would never dabble in witchcraft. For that matter, my father wouldn’t have allowed her to try it, even if she’d wanted to.”

  She was in shock, and Terrick must comfort her, so hopefully, she’d allow it. He shifted to her seat and sat next to her, touching her trembling hands. “Bella, you are probably correct. After all, you said you’d never seen that book before. Maybe her mother gave it to her, but your mother chose not to use it.”

  Nodding, she met his gaze. Tears were gathering in her eyes, and it nearly shattered him to see her so distraught. “Bella, I’m sorry. I was wrong to tell you.” He slid an arm around her, pulling her against him. Her body was stiff as she pressed her cheek against his chest.

  “No, I’m glad you told me.” Her voice shook.

  “Shhh...” He stroked her hair. “Take deep breaths and try to calm down. You’re trembling.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  A sob released from her throat, and she pressed her face harder against his chest. Hearing her cry this way reminded him of the day they had to say their goodbyes. Even though they knew they’d be back together in seven years, it wasn't easy to accept, nonetheless. Her cries were just as ragged then, and his heart was breaking the same way as now.

  He kissed the top of her head, holding her closer as he rubbed her back and shoulders. “Bella, if you don’t think your mother could do such a thing, then she didn’t. I jumped to conclusions, and I’m sorry.”

  Her breathing shook as she inhaled and pulled back to gaze into his eyes. “But, I think she did do that.”

  He wasn’t sure he heard her right. She couldn’t have possibly said what he thought. “No, I don’t think—”

  “Terrick, as I think about over the years of my life, especially when my father traveled so often, there were things my mother couldn’t explain. We had food on the table, and yet, she didn’t work. She always told me the neighbors helped us out.” She wiped her eyes. “One time, our horse was sick, and I feared he was going to die, but miraculously, the next day, the horse was fine. In fact, it had never run so fast until after that day.”

  Suddenly, she stopped, and her eyes widened. “Oh, Terrick, what if...” She licked her lips. “What if my mother is the reason I can’t remember? What if she put a spell on me?”

  “No, my sweet Bella.” He cupped the side of her face. “She would never do that to you. She loved you so much and wanted what was best—”

  “Listen to me, Terrick.” She shook her head. “If we were in love as much as you say we were, I would have been heartbroken when we stopped seeing each other.”

  Hesitating to answer, he studied her tearful expression. His mind whirled with the possibilities. He prayed that Bella was wrong about her mother, but... it made sense now. “I know I was devastated. So much, in fact, that I had to move away because seeing you every day was killing me. I wanted to hold you so badly, but I couldn’t.”

  “Then, I would have felt the same.”

  He stroked his thumb under her eye, catching more tears. “Yes, I think you did.”

  “That’s it.” She took another shaky breath. “Mother couldn’t stand to see me so distraught, so she put a spell on me to make me forget my heartache.”

>   Sighing heavily, he pressed his forehead against hers. Bella closed her eyes as the tears continued to fall. What if she was right? Yet, in his gut, he felt she was.

  “Bella?” He brushed his lips across her forehead. “Stop crying, please. It’s tearing me apart to hear you this way.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Tonight, when you get home,” he pulled back and looked into her eyes, “read through your mother’s journals. If she were indeed a witch, there would be some signs in her writing. But until then, please don’t fully believe that she could have done this to you. Witch or not, your mother had a big heart, and she loved you very much.”

  Nodding, she pulled away from him, wiping her eyes. “You’re right, of course.”

  He took hold of her hands and lifted them to his mouth, brushing a kiss across her knuckles. “Would you like to stay home tomorrow and take it easy?”

  “Yes, if that’s all right.”

  “Of course, it is.” He kissed her knuckles again. “Ana can wait a day or two for her next lesson, but I want you to take it easy and really think about this. Before you burn her memory at the stake for being a witch, you had better find some solid proof.”

  “I agree.”

  The vehicle stopped, and seconds later, the driver opened the door. She leaned over and kissed his scarred cheek before leaving the carriage.

  Groaning, he raked his fingers through his hair. What a mess this had turned out to be. He prayed they were wrong about Bella’s mother, but if they were right... what other mayhem had she caused, and were they going to be able to repair the damage?

  EIGHT

  BELLA SAT ON THE WINDOW seat the next morning, sipping her hot tea as she stared blindly out the window. She’d cried so much last night, and she didn’t think she had anything else to cry. Yet, as her mind drifted back over her life, and she remembered odd things that had happened, more tears spiked her eyes.

  She had stayed up late reading through Mother’s journals again, but there was no indication of her practicing witchcraft. From the woman’s words, she was a normal housewife raising a son and daughter, just like every normal mother in the world.