Season of the Wolf (The Lost Royals Saga Book 4)

by Rachel Jonas

  I stared, unable to blink, but only for a moment before gathering myself. If he wanted me gone, I’d go. He was angry and I understood that, but if we could have just talked about it, maybe he would have sympathized. Even if only a little.

  With my back to him, I didn’t feel the need to put on a brave face, so I didn’t. Tonight had been filled with so many emotions, so many close calls, and so many hearts on the line.

  Including Liam’s.

  Before I left him like he requested, I stooped to place the key to the shackles on the ground where he could reach it.

  Maybe when he was ready, I’d have a chance to fix this.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Evie

  It took an hour for him to leave that cell.

  Even after being given the key.

  From my bedroom, I could have traced his steps—from the moment he stormed up the stairs, to his door slamming so hard against the frame it seemed the whole house shook.

  Elise had come in to visit after checking on the guys downstairs. She placed her hand on mine when my expression must have told of how distraught I was, how misunderstood I felt.

  “He’ll come around,” she assured me, offering a kind smile right after.

  I believed her, but hated the idea of waiting to work things out until then. I had to get my mind off the altercation with Liam somehow, so I changed the subject.

  “What’s the word from the Council?” I asked.

  Elise sighed before responding. “The area has been thoroughly searched for the fools who did this. They believe this to be the work of a small team that got in and out of town quickly to avoid detection. There’s been no report of mutts or other activity,” she went on. “Just … devastation.”

  I recalled the grim scene we walked through on our way home and devastation was a fitting word.

  “I did my best to convince the Council to allow us to open our home to a few, but it was out of the question.” Another soft smile touched her eyes. “They wouldn’t dare endanger the life of their queen,” she said with an air of jesting in her tone that made me smile, too.

  “Of course not,” I yawned.

  For a moment, we submitted to the silence that crept in. This was all still so hard to believe.

  “Ethan says tonight’s … mission,” she stated with a smile, “was a success.”

  I considered that word, success, eventually giving a nod. “Aside from nearly drowning, I’d say it was.”

  My thoughts went back to the look of acceptance behind my mother’s gaze when we parted ways before that ambulance drove off. It was almost like … she knew.

  Knew our connection extended beyond today.

  Knew we meant something to one another.

  “While I don’t appreciate having to hold my breath while awaiting news of whether my children are dead or alive,” Elise sighed, “I do admire your courage.”

  My gaze met hers as she shared more of her feelings.

  “I like to think I’ve had my moments of bravery, but they were few and far between. But you … I think you’d risk your life every day if it were necessary to protect those you love.”

  I breathed deep, feeling the emotion behind her thoughts.

  “Says the woman who laid it all on the line for a race of supernaturals that aren’t even her own people,” I smiled.

  She returned the gesture before clarifying. “I did it for both races. We’ve always needed each other whether we realized it or not.”

  I imagined that was true.

  My hand cooled when she moved hers, standing from the edge of my bed where she’d been sitting.

  “I’d better get a move on,” she yawned. “Hilda’s been out there all night, and now that you seven are home safe, I’m going out to help as well. The people need supplies, food, blankets, clothes. The Council may have the power to stop us from opening our home, but not our hearts.”

  It was hard to fathom someone as naturally compassionate as her being in admiration of me. There was once a time not so long ago when I hated her, thought of her as the most selfish person walking this planet.

  And then the smoke cleared and I discovered I was wrong about her.

  So wrong.

  She was a beautiful person, inside and out.

  There was a look of surprise in her eyes when I took her hand before she could walk away. That look turned into confusion when I stood and embraced her. I knew she had places to be, people to tend to, but I needed this first.

  I needed to hug my mother.

  Something changed for me this evening. Getting to see my adoptive mom, looking into her eyes and realizing her memory was all the witches stole, and not her love for me, it gave me peace. No, she may not have remembered who I was, but she definitely felt who I was.

  “Thank you,” I breathed, squeezing Elise tight around her neck, feeling her arms envelope my waist. “You’ve done so much and I appreciate it. All of it,” I clarified.

  “Anything for you,” was her reply and I never doubted that for even a second.

  I’d been so distant with her in the past, but that was behind us now. I wanted her to know I understood the sacrifices she made for me, understood the hard choices and decisions she made on my behalf. It was all for my own good.

  “I love you,” I added to everything else I admitted tonight.

  There was a long period of silence while Elise must have had to let that sink in, had to convince herself I’d fully come around, but I did. I felt so much peace finally letting the last of my guard down with her, there was no doubt in my mind I was doing the right thing.

  “I never stopped,” she replied, and there was no missing the emotion in her voice, choking her up a bit.

  I released her and saw the tears I fully expected, but I also saw a smile and it did my heart good.

  She left to meet Hilda. It was incredibly late, and despite being dog-tired, I knew I wouldn’t get to bed anytime soon. The air was too charged tonight. There were people out there trying to piece their lives back together, people the night’s events had broken. There was no way I could just pretend things were as peaceful outside this house as they were inside.

  Peaceful … maybe that was the wrong word.

  At the thought, I glanced up, focusing on my bedroom door. I imagined the one across from it where Liam likely sat brooding about the choices I made. I stood and turned out the light, but didn’t bother getting into bed. Instead, I moved toward the balcony, stepping out for fresh air.

  It was cool, but I didn’t need to cover my legs or arms. The tank and shorts I put on after my shower were fine. Hugging myself as I surveyed our property, I breathed deep, doing all I could to release the tension pent up inside, but it was no use.

  It killed me knowing how pissed Liam was. If he’d given me a chance to explain, I might not be spending the night alone in my bed, a bed I hadn’t slept in in so long I couldn’t remember the last time.

  The cool metal of the wrought-iron railing touched my forearms when I leaned against it, trying not to feel sorry for myself. Not when there were so many out there much worse off than I was.

  The door to my room creaked and I turned, half expecting it to have been Elise to say one last thing before the supply run, or even one of my brothers coming in to say goodnight. But what I did not expect … was Liam.

  My nerves got the best of me at the sight of him, causing my stomach to sink. I stood straight, my back to the rail now as I watched him cross the room, moving through the darkness like a man on a mission. It wasn’t until he made it to me that I realized that’s exactly what he was.

  Stepping out onto my balcony, moonlight outlined the breadth of his shoulders. Strong hands cinched my waist the next second, and then the shock of warm lips against mine that had cooled in the night air. It was natural for my fingers to gravitate toward his hair, still damp from a shower. They tangled in the strands as I gripped them, keeping him close, letting the emotions, the tension, he held in spill over now. I felt it al
l.

  The hurt.

  The relief.

  The need.

  The struggle within him.

  All at once, he wanted to give in and come to me, but also wished he’d been strong enough to stay away. I knew as much from the feel of greedy hands roaming all over me just before he’d pull back, attempting to bridle the beast.

  When it came to us, there was no possibility of holding back. With the energy that vibrated between us always, no amount of anger or frustration could keep us apart. I knew this to be a fact even after he sent me away. While I didn’t expect this visit to be so soon, it was a welcomed surprise.

  My mouth trailed his jaw to his neck, feeling his veins pulse where my tongue met skin. I only backed off him long enough for my shirt to be snatched from my torso, my shorts to be tossed carelessly to the floor. While my back cooled in the air, my bare chest was warm against his. Leaving me only long enough to kick a pair of sweats aside, Liam returned, taking our wordless reunion where it’d been headed all along.

  He was usually so gentle, so patient. But as my thighs were brought to his waist in one rough motion, I knew I’d accuse him of being neither of those things tonight. Rough, animalistic … those words were more accurate as I stared into a set of feral eyes that only wanted one thing.

  He’d always trusted me enough to share his heart, to admit his inability to live without me, and I hurt him anyway, put him through unthinkable hell, although my intentions were honorable.

  As his gaze stayed trained on mine, as we connected and our souls aligned, I vowed to myself that I would never defy him like I had tonight. His life’s mission had been to protect me and I both loved and respected that about him.

  There were no words, and we exchanged no verbal commitment, but I meant it from the bottom of my heart when I made a promise to myself.

  To him.

  It would never happen again.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Liam

  The moon was still high in the sky, meaning we hadn’t staggered our way into her bed that long ago. Exhausted from our tryst on the balcony, sleep came swiftly, but even that hadn’t been enough to keep my mind off what transpired tonight.

  I tossed and turned my way through a nightmare before giving up on sleep altogether. In the dream, Evangeline’s undertaking had a very different outcome. One where she wasn’t so lucky.

  One where she didn’t return home.

  Unnerved and anxious, I laid awake, staring at the ceiling while gentle breaths puffed from her lips across my chest where her head rested. Her soft curls were scattered everywhere like a wild mane—across my arm, beneath my chin. Glancing down at her, I pushed a few locks aside to get a better glimpse of her face.

  She was beyond beautiful, she was the embodiment of love.

  My love.

  Which was why the direction my thoughts were headed in terrified me. It was this love for her that made us both ticking timebombs. Each constantly on the verge of detonating for the other’s sake. Only, she’d become even more unstable in recent weeks.

  And there was no denying the change was because of me.

  I placed a soft kiss on her forehead, being careful not to wake her. She had no idea the lengths I was willing to go for her. For us.

  My heart raced and I was grateful she slept. Had she been awake, there would have been no hiding it. She’d sense I was on the cusp of doing something she’d never allow, something I could no longer see any way around.

  The deep, burning gashes left behind on my wrists from struggling against the shackles were not what made tonight’s events so hard to move past. Being held captive by chains I could’ve practically bitten through before my dragon was destroyed … it put things into perspective. It showed me, once and for all, that this was the life we would live if I didn’t make a change.

  Only, this particular change would first require unmatched sacrifice.

  Namely … my life—even if only temporarily.

  Or, so I hoped.

  It wasn’t lost on me that Elise had already refused to help, pointing out that she couldn’t guarantee my plan would even work, but I was beyond seeking her permission. The only way to force her hand was to take matters into my own. If I failed, it was no one’s fault but my own and she’d have no blood on her hands. As cruel as this choice seemed at the moment, as candidly as it told of my desperation, it was the only hope I had left.

  I was suddenly numb, emotionless for the sake of not allowing myself to feel the full weight of this decision. What was once a flimsy idea, was suddenly a plan.

  I slipped from beneath Evangeline’s arm, being careful not to disturb her as I then left the bed. Staring down on her, my mate, it was impossible not to sympathize with the predicament she’d been in so many times—fighting to make me understand why she willingly laid on the tracks, ignoring the train that plowed full-steam ahead in her direction.

  I got it now.

  And tonight, I’d be brave like her, following in her footsteps. I’d make the ultimate sacrifice, too, but this time to set things right once and for all.

  It was time and no one could walk this path but me.

  ***

  Evie

  At first, when I turned and sunlight penetrated my closed lids, I thought the day before had been a dream. Including the part where Liam came to me, choosing to show me I had his forgiveness, foregoing the difficult task of finding the right words.

  The pillow was cool against my cheek and I stretched, brushing wild curls away from my face as I squinted through the light, feeling the other side of my bed for a warm body.

  I was alone.

  Which meant, at some point after I dozed, he left.

  It was a sobering realization that honestly brought with it an air of insecurity. It crossed my mind that I may have jumped the gun thinking I’d been forgiven. Maybe he opted to return to his own room instead of spending the night in mine.

  I sat up and breathed deep, unable to find the strength to leave the bed. Yawning, my eyes wandered toward the door, and that’s when I saw it, a sheet of paper that had been pushed beneath it.

  I rolled from beneath the covers and ambled across the room, pulling down my t-shirt—the only thing I bothered putting on before a heavy sleep fell on me the night before. I bent to grab the paper, noting that the handwriting was familiar. I’d seen it for years, even before meeting Liam face-to-face. It was one of the few things that gave a hint toward his real age. It bore a classic aestheticism that always reminded me of letters I’d seen in movies, written by men in fancy, ruffled clothes, dipping feathered pens in ink.

  My name was printed neatly at the top and I breathed deep before beginning.

  ‘Evangeline,

  Every move I’ve ever made has been carried out with you in mind. Before I begin, I urge you not to forget this small fact that changes everything. You may never understand the motives behind what I’ve done, but I couldn’t go forward without at least trying to explain.

  Because my love for you never has, and never will die.

  To begin, an apology is owed … for my shortcomings, my failures. I’ve been charged with many missions in life. Many that put me on the front line of heated battles, few in favor of impassioned causes I felt proud to defend.

  But even with all the praise and titles they earned me, none were as important to me as the mission given to me by your father—to protect his only daughter, the future queen of her people.

  My anger last night was never in response to your actions. I couldn’t have expected anything less from a woman with a heart as pure as yours. Your parents needed you and I feel nothing but pride for what you did. What you saw when you came down to that chamber was me breaking, only feeling anger with myself for those shackles being enough to keep me from coming to your aid.

  Metal and cement.

  That was it.

  This is not me, Evangeline. I’m half the man I was born to be, half the man you deserve. Without my dragon, I’ve been
forced to abandon my post, forced to watch my mate put her life in danger to protect mine.

  I promise to accept whatever consequences lie ahead, and I’ll do so with grace, dignity. But above all, I trust your love will move you to forgive sooner rather than later.

  This is all for you.

  My mate. My love.

  My queen.

  My heart raced with each word, right to the very end. I skimmed again, thinking I missed something, but only felt more confused the second time.

  What was he saying?

  The message was so cryptic, so dark. I didn’t understand, but knew it was bad.

  Really, really bad.

  Voices carried in from the hallway and the undertone of panic made my thoughts respond in kind. Whatever was off, they felt it, too.

  Nearly snatching the door from its hinges, I exited to see what all the commotion was. Elise wrestled her arm into the sleeve of her long coat, still clothed in her nightgown as she rambled numbers to herself on repeat. Her face had gone pale and expressionless as she barreled toward the stairs on autopilot. Hilda followed close behind and I caught random bits and pieces of quickly spoken phrases, saying things that didn’t make sense.

  One of which being resurrection.

  “What happened?” I asked, doubling back for a pair of jeans from my drawer before chasing Elise down the stairs, meeting she and Hilda in the foyer as I struggled with the zipper.

  “Can one of you please tell me what’s going on?” This time, I was pleading, my stare volleying back and forth between Elise and Hilda.

  They barely seemed to notice my presence, my desperate questions. Being ignored, my wolf responded to the frustration, pushing forward so forcefully I had to suppress the urge to issue a warning growl. However, if they continued to over talk me, I had no problem letting it out.

  Rubbing his chest with a groggy, one-eyed greeting, Ethan joined us where we stood in limbo near the door, wondering the same thing I was.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  Elise rushed off with nothing more than a tearful, sympathetic glance that made my heart sink before the door slammed behind her.