Taking Control

by L. V. Lane

  Doctor Lillian Brach

  Eloise

  TOMORROW WE WOULD arrive at Qix25. It felt like the endpoint had come upon me far too soon, and yet not soon enough.

  But now that the end was near, I was desperate to get it over with. Logan had left the room earlier for a meeting with Hudson, and left alone, I picked up the paper book that Lilly had given me. It was a little book of quotes. I’d felt uncomfortable taking something that was so precious from her, but she had insisted, saying it would give us reason to meet again. Running my fingers over the gray cover, I flicked it open, reading pages at random.

  I couldn’t feel her from here, she would be on another planet by now. Yet there was still a sense of connection as I ran my fingers over pages that she must have read many times. The book was intensely personal, perhaps more personal than any item I had held before.

  The buzz of my communicator surprised me, and I glanced across at the desk to see an incoming request.

  It was Lilly, and smiling, I opened the request.

  As soon as it connected, I knew that something was wrong. My fingers tightened around the book. “Doctor Brach? Are you well?”

  She waved a hand and smiled tiredly. Her face was flushed—an unhealthy kind of flush.

  “It’s nothing. My singularity is challenging sometimes.” She pressed her fingers to her pink cheeks. “My former research partner, Doctor Tsing, enjoys running tests.” She rolled her eyes, which made me chuckle. “Some people enjoy their work too much.”

  “And what is your former research partner now?” I asked. I had the strangest sensation of pressure. Was this what she looked like when I had felt that before? Was I really feeling it, or just an echo of it because my mind was connecting dots?

  She sighed. “The Program Director.”

  I felt a great wave of empathy. This was why I hated the virus. Lilly did not need to explain more. No Omega would be allowed to hold such a position. Bitter though it must be, she was lucky to have retained any position within the program.

  “Don’t worry about me, Eloise. I’m doing better than most, and I will keep doing whatever I can for as long as I can. But I did call to see how you were. Is that—? What are you wearing?”

  My face flushed. I was still wearing Logan’s shirt. If I was in this room, I wore whatever he had last taken off. I hadn’t even thought about it. How was it possible that I had forgotten?

  Her lips twitched, and she held up a hand. “It’s fine, please don’t explain. I should have known better than to ask. You’re being deployed tomorrow. I called to see how you’re doing, but—” she gestured toward me and raised an eyebrow. “I’m guessing you’re doing okay.”

  “It’s not been so bad,” I said with a small smile. “I’m more worried about the operation.”

  “They’ll keep you safe,” she said. “Whatever else I may think, I believe absolutely that they will keep you safe.”

  “It’s not that. It’s—” Suddenly I was so close to telling her. I wanted to tell her. It was like I was burning with pressure. Her pressure, my pressure, all pressure. “This deployment…It’s complicated. Some things make it complicated.” What the hell was I doing?

  “I can see your eyes,” she said, voice soft with a light admonishment. “And I know what they mean.”

  “It’s nothing. It’s not what you think.” What the hell am I doing?

  She shook her head. “If you tell me, I can help you. I know it’s hard to trust, especially—I know. But please, promise me you won’t put yourself in danger.”

  “I won’t,” I said and focused on the fact that nothing I did would hurt me, physically at least.

  My eyes must have agreed with my words because the tension left her shoulders. “We’ll talk when the operation is over,” she said, her lips curving up. “I could arrange for you to take some time out. You’d be surprised what I can get away with in the interests of research. Would you like that? It won’t be indefinite, but it might buy you a little time…to work through whatever is worrying you.”

  I knew it would never happen, but my smile was genuine. “I would.”

  The door behind me opened, and I swung my head back to find Logan standing there. His eyes flicked from me to the communicator and back. Lifting a hand, he headed for the bedroom.

  “I need to go,” I said.

  “Okay,” she said. “I gave you my book. It belonged to my mother, and I expect you to be the one giving it back to me personally.”

  “I will.” The damn woman knew how to guilt! I hoped she would forgive me when I didn’t keep that promise. I’d find a way to get it back to her, I just doubted it would be via my own hands. I was sure she would do what I was about to do, were she in my place, and I thought she would forgive me. “Hope your research goes okay. I’ll message you after the operation.”

  “Huff! Knowing Doctor Tsing, it will be as unpleasant as always. Take care, Eloise,” she said, and the communication closed out.

  I found Logan laying on the bed scrolling through his information tablet. “Private coms with Doctor Brach now, hmm?” He glanced up briefly before he resumed his scrolling. “Before you know it, you’ll be having fancy dinners with our Empire’s elites.”

  “She called to wish me well for tomorrow. And she’s not—she doesn’t act like someone who comes from privilege.” Which was surprising now that I thought about it.

  “You must have selective memory,” he muttered. “She kicked my ass out of her office like a pro.”

  I chuckled. Yes, so she had.

  He looked up and frowned. “You need another spanking, baby?”

  “No!”

  He smirked and put the tablet down on the shelf beside the bed and gave me an expectant look. I went over because that was what he wanted me to do, what he expected me to do. Once I was standing beside the bed, he hauled me over the top of his body. He settled me to his liking, and I fidgeted, enjoying the way his hand cupped my bottom as he pressed my head into his chest.

  That comforting rumble followed, and my world became peace.

  “Such a good girl,” he said as his fingers played with my hair. “You’re ready. There are no more tests.”

  I felt a catch let go inside and tears stung the back of my eyes.

  Placing a finger under my chin, he lifted my face so that he could see my eyes. “Hey.” He kissed me, pressing little nibbles to my lips, and then rolling us over so that he was above me. He kissed the tears away from my cheeks, then took my lips again, sucking, nibbling and biting down gently until I forgot about tears, and my soft gasp and murmurs of encouragement to keep going, rose.

  What followed wasn’t what we usually shared, but it was exactly what I needed.

  The situation on Qix25 was deteriorating fast. A message received by our intelligence service seven days ago said the diplomat and his family were still alive and in hiding. But it was getting harder for them to evade detection as our enemy swept through the decimation of the attack, searching for them.

  We parted ways with the Andromeda class ship on the outer-reaches of the system to a smaller hop-ship, nimble enough to avoid detection was taking us to orbit. From there a tiny remote-controlled shuttle would ferry us down to that ravaged colony.

  For now, I was making the most of the transit time to catch up on communication with my family. I kept the message light and general. They didn’t know where I was going or the turmoil I was facing. That secret viral research was at the forefront of my mind, and I could no longer shy away from the course laid out before me.

  If the diplomat was still alive, I had only one choice.

  The recreation room on the hop-ship housed a wide central table, along with various chairs and system consoles. Several members of Logan’s team relaxed or reviewed final operational details there.

  Over the weeks of transit, I had got to know Logan’s team and their stolid leader, Hudson. They had worked together on operations involving Omegas, and even civilians on occasions. They took their assig
nments seriously and my protection more so. I would never be comfortable among them knowing the feelings that lurked under the surface, but other than that fateful first meeting, I was never given cause to be concerned.

  I wondered what they would say after the deed was done and I betrayed my own people.

  And Logan, I spent a great deal of time wondering how Logan would react.

  My heart beat a sickly tattoo in my chest, and my fingers shook where I tapped to send the communication. I had never been so conflicted, so certain and uncertain at the same time. But this wasn’t about me, or even what people thought of me, this was about doing what was right.

  All the lead up to deployment, all the worrying about what would happen felt insignificant in light of the actual dilemma I faced. The real problem, the viral program—the means to destroy the Copper virus or the means to lock it in. This moment was painfully bittersweet. And I did not try to deny the allure of investing anymore. It was funny how enthusiastic a person can become for something or someone when they knew it was about to be snatched away.

  Logan sat on the far side of the room, talking to a younger man, but when he rose from the seat, my eyes were immediately drawn to him. They had issued me armor made from a soft, black, rubber-like material that fit snuggly enough to leave little of my shape to the imagination. It wasn’t as thick and heavy as it looked but was still strangely constrictive. I had to admit, I liked seeing Logan in his armor.

  My breath hitched as he neared me. I could thank his thorough training for the way he now absorbed all my focus.

  “Are you ready, Eloise?” Logan asked.

  I nodded, although I wasn’t ready. Not so very long ago, I had watched the dark wars from afar. Today, I was being deployed to the front line.

  War—our lives were consumed by the war.

  Those for whom the virus brought change, and those for whom it did not.

  Families, countries, and planets were being torn apart.

  Being part of it terrified me.

  Logan was studying me like he wasn't buying my readiness bravado. His lips twitched, and my stomach did that little falling thing it did all too often. Investment, control and the relationship between the Omegas and their Controllers had been vague and mysterious once. Now I understood how my biology worked against me. Layered over the top of that I had been trained using well-established techniques, and my reactions were an unavoidable consequence of this. I was attuned to him in every way, and attentive to his every emotional nuance.

  They said it was a different bond for Singulars than for the more common Omegas, but in every case, our nature made us highly submissive to the needs of our Controllers, whatever those needs may be. I did not think it was possible to be psychologically conditioned in such a short period. Nevertheless, it had happened. Apparently, I would capitulate to my next assignment quicker, would go deeper and submit more fully in my next operation.

  I shuddered.

  I didn't want another assignment. The thought of someone else—no, I did not want that.

  And the thought of him with someone else, another Omega of any kind—no I did not like the thought of that, either. My recruiter said having a Singular detail on his résumé was a career boon. Logan would be more likely to be considered again, assuming the operation was a success.

  He had controlled me thoroughly in the short time we had been in transit so that part of the equation was beyond dispute. And he was an Alpha; his viral-enhanced genetics managed the other side of the equation.

  I didn't doubt he would get the job done on Qix25, and despite my anxiety, I knew he would keep me safe…until I betrayed him.

  My stomach churned. Fear of what I was about to do…And the thought of him controlling someone else, a pretty little Healer who would give herself freely, and who wouldn’t fight her nature the way I had.

  I was sitting—he would have towered over me had I been standing too—and as if this wasn’t sufficiently dominant, he crowded closer until all I could see, and be aware of, was his powerful body enclosed in that black, form-fitting armor.

  “Hey.” He tapped my chin with a single finger, bringing my face up, but I suffered a momentary lapse and kept my lashes lowered for several defiant heartbeats.

  When I finally looked up his expression was stony, and I knew my punishment would be swift and sure. It was what I wanted, to feel him inside me, for him to remind me, that for now, I was his to control and own. “Clear the room,” he growled softly. There was a pause, muttered complaints followed, and the team shuffled out.

  I didn't venture to check their expressions, but I could feel their amusement, and their arousal—they knew I had earned myself a punishment after defying my assigned Controller in some way. None of them hesitated to comply with the request. Omegas of every kind were known to need regular control reinforcement…and the occasional correction.

  I might have enjoyed being corrected a little too much.

  As the door closed, he fisted a handful of my hair and dragged me out of the chair. The grip was sharp and devoid of the gentleness he had shown me last night when he had praised what a good girl I had been and that I was ready. My communication tablet dropped from my fingers to clatter against the floor. My armor clips snapped, ripped apart in a swift, brutal tug that jerked me against the hard wall of his body.

  My inner muscles spasmed in appreciation and I bit my lip to hide my smile. I had lost sight of my comfort zone over the last two weeks, but he had also been gentle at times—like last night.

  I was frightened now, though, and I knew I had unleashed his dominance with my defiance. His hands were shaking where they gripped me a little too roughly, and his face was fury and lust. He yanked the armor wide until it gaped, exposing me all the way to the crotch before ripping it completely off and backing me up against the wall.

  With a hand under my ass and the other around my throat, he fucked me without mercy. The wall was hard, and I was caught between it and his equally unyielding body. It was fast and rough, and there was so much adrenaline rushing through me that drove me straight to the precipice of that wondrous abyss.

  His breathing became a harsh rasp as he sucked bruises against the side of my throat. “Your pussy juice is running down my balls.” He finished the words by hammering into me even deeper. “There we go…Such a good girl, taking my fat dick all the way in.”

  “Please.” If he touched my clit, I was going to tip straight over.

  “You don’t fucking come. This is punishment. You don’t get to come during a punishment.” His eyes held me as securely as his arms did. Our breaths mingled as he kept me hanging on the cusp of pleasure for so long that I thought I might lose my mind. “I’m coming, Eloise. I’m going to fill you up.” His sharp breathing became a feral growl as his hot cum flooded me, bathing the entrance to my womb. Tightening his arm around my waist, he bounced me up and down on his cock with a deep groan of satisfaction. “That’s it. Take it all.”

  My world narrowed to that throbbing monster inside me. I was so close; so close to pleasure.

  Withdrawing, he lowered me to the floor, his cum dripping and trickling down my shaking legs.

  I felt his warmth and all the raw energy coming from that big body crowding close. He pressed his fingers into the mess he had created between my legs, smearing it into my skin before pumping three thick fingers up into my slick channel, as if trying to force it back inside.

  It made a terrible squelching sound, and I struggled to breathe, the air too thick to yield satisfaction to my lungs.

  “I’ve never met anyone who can take what you do. I think you're so well conditioned that you can take anything I want to give you.” His fingers continued to pump, keeping me hanging on that edge and producing more of the wet noises that made me burn with shame.

  I clenched around his fingers, my legs trembling and struggling to support my weight. “You’ll be feeling that for the rest of the day. A reminder of how deep I went.” He slipped almost out before thr
usting deep. “I want to make you come, but that wouldn’t be much of a punishment, would it.”

  “Please!” I was mindless to everything but the slow tormenting pump of those thick fingers between my legs.

  His hand slid out, and thick gobs of cum dripped onto the crumpled armor at my feet.

  Leaning my head back against the wall for support, I listened to the click of closing armor as he put himself away. Kneeling before me, he pressed reverent little kisses against the top of my pussy. “Are you going to be defiant again?”

  “Not today,” I said.

  He chuckled and said, “At least you’re being honest.”

  That comment tugged at my tremulous state. Honesty? I hadn’t been honest with him once since I met him—I’d spent the whole time hiding under a cloud of deception.

  He tugged my armor around, helping me to get my foot in. Easing the suit up, he stood as it reached my hips. Tears spilled onto my cheeks as he helped me into the armor, one piece at a time. Overwrought, my emotions batted between these brief moments of tenderness and my duplicity.

  He retrieved my communication tablet from the floor and placed it into my limp hand. Eyes holding mine, he ran his knuckles gently over my cheek before taking my lips in a hungry kiss that made me needy all over again.

  He stepped back, breathing heavy and lips glistening. He licked his bottom lip and sucked it into his mouth as if savoring me, and I thought for a strangled moment that I might have come. “Don’t give me that fucking look.” He pulled me into him, and that gentle rumbling he made filled the missing part of me. “You okay?”

  “I’m just really frustrated,” I said, and it wasn’t a complete lie.

  He smirked. “I noticed that part…” A shadow passed over his face. “Sometimes you drive me a little nuts. I keep feeling like I’m missing something. Like I need to fuck you harder. Like I can’t get deep enough inside.” He let out a puff of breath. “That sounds fucked up. I need you to obey me.”