Falling for Her Impossible Boss

by Alison Roberts

  Maybe that was because it wasn’t that humiliating. Bella knew perfectly well that there was no way she would ever fit into the Dawson world—but he’d proved she wasn’t undesirable and that more than made up for it. In a way, it gave her the power to control the feelings she had for Oliver.

  Yes, they were inappropriate and couldn’t go anywhere but there was no doubt that they added a most delicious sexual frisson in the atmosphere every time Oliver was in the same room as she was. It was there faintly from simply being in his house and while it was frustrating, it wasn’t unpleasant. A bit like window shopping, perhaps, when you allowed yourself the pleasure of imagining that you were going to win the lottery soon and could actually buy anything you wanted.

  Last night had been the clincher. Oliver had come out into the garden to visit his mother and Bella had excused herself to give them some time alone together. Had it been deliberate to squeeze through the gap between the chairs so close to where Oliver was preparing to sit down?

  She’d been close enough to hear the way he sucked his breath in, anyway. And she had felt the way his gaze had followed her back to the house. She’d felt it all the way down to her bones. Bella had stopped just inside the French doors of the conservatory and taken a backwards glance, just in time to see him turning his head towards his mother.

  But she knew. Oliver was feeling the same sexual tension that she was.

  He couldn’t avoid her completely because she spent so much time with his mother. He couldn’t fire her because she was employed by Lady Dorothy and, anyway, why would he fire someone who was helping his beloved mother so much?

  There was something else he couldn’t do anything about either, and that was if Bella teased him with that new awareness.

  Just a little. Just enough to make sure they both knew what it was they really wanted.

  She might not be appropriate and Oliver might be quite right in thinking he didn’t want her in his life on a permanent basis but he wanted her now and when she left in a few months’ time Bella had a new determination to make sure that he realised what he’d missed out on.

  * * *

  Getting away to Australia for a few days to attend a conference in Melbourne had been the best idea Oliver had had for some time.

  Professionally, it was stimulating. Personally, it gave him the space to deal with the uncomfortable blip in his life that his encounter with Bella had caused.

  That upheaval in his private life was more than two weeks ago now. Clearly his mother had no idea that anything untoward had occurred between her son and her private nurse and life had returned to sit within its normal, albeit new, parameters. Oliver was quite confident that he could go back to doing the best job he was capable of at St Patrick’s, ensure that his mother was as comfortable and happy as possible and keep up his social obligations when it came to the charity work that was synonymous with the Dawson family name.

  That confidence was still with him when he arrived home that evening from the airport. He found his mother in her study and Oliver’s confidence went up a notch when he saw what she was doing.

  The modified keyboard had been a brilliant idea of Bella’s. The motivation to keep up with old friends and current events had seen his mother overcome the initial challenge of the movement her hands and fingers were required to make. Thanks to Bella’s encouragement, she had persevered to the point where the contact with the outside world was so enjoyable that the exercise was proving very beneficial and her range of movements seemed to be increasing daily.

  ‘Lovely to see you home, darling,’ Lady Dorothy said. ‘But I’m awfully busy getting the organisation for this new fundraiser under way. I gave Bella the night off so I could get on with it. Maybe we could have breakfast together?’

  Oliver went off to unpack his bag with a smile on his face. Things were all as they should be at home. Better, even. No doubt about it. Bella was doing an exemplary job as Lady Dorothy’s private nurse and there had been no more incidents with the diabetes control. Oliver had kept a tight watch on things up until he’d taken the risk of going away for a few days but everything had run just as smoothly at home while he’d been away. Finally, he knew he could relax and trust Bella to look after his mother.

  He could trust her not to say anything about what had happened that night, too, and that was a biggie. It wasn’t that his mother would have been appalled, she was far too open-minded for that. Quite the opposite would have happened, Oliver suspected, and he would find all sorts of cunning plans put in motion that would leave him alone with Bella.

  And it had been hard enough to be in her company even when they weren’t alone. For those first few days he’d been acutely aware of everything about her. So aware he could have sworn he could smell her hair from the other side of a room. He could certainly taste her kisses when he awoke alone at night after some of the most erotic dreams he’d had since his teenage years.

  He’d proved he could handle it, however, and this new level of confidence made him think he was over the worst. He’d probably be able to spend time with Bella without even thinking of ripping her clothes off.

  The confidence lasted until he went downstairs to his own suite. It lasted precisely a heartbeat as he walked past the open door of the gymnasium and saw Bella climbing out of the swimming pool.

  Water was cascading off every inch of her gorgeous, golden-brown skin. The tiny bikini she wore might as well have been invisible for the effect it had on Oliver’s body. He should keep moving and remove himself from the sight as soon as possible but his feet were refusing to comply. His chest seemed to be having trouble following even a subconscious directive to breathe.

  Reaching for a towel that was draped over the hand rail at the top of the steps, Bella looked up and saw him.

  ‘Oh…God…sorry!’ she exclaimed. ‘I thought you were still in Melbourne.’

  ‘No.’ Oliver’s throat felt like sandpaper. He cleared it. ‘I’m back,’ he said.

  Bella grinned. ‘So you are.’

  Oliver’s reaction to the teasing about his redundant statement was an odd mix of annoyance and…delight? Who else in his life teased him the way Bella did?

  She was wrapping the towel around herself. Coming towards him.

  ‘I’ll get out of your way,’ she said. ‘I can have a shower in my own room.’

  She was so close now Oliver could feel her warmth. A steamy, damp kind of warmth that made him think of sex.

  God…Bella always made him think of sex.

  He had to fight to make sure his hands stayed by his sides and didn’t reach for Bella as she went past him in the doorway. It would have been so easy to touch her. Just a soft brush on her arm maybe. And she would stop and look at him and…and there would be no going back.

  Oliver pulled in some oxygen to try and kick-start his brain. Move, it ordered. Now. It was like that moment before that first kiss all over again.

  There was space between their bodies but the air was crackling with such intensity that they might as well have been skin to skin.

  Bella could feel the heat melting her bones. Like an out-of-body experience she could almost see herself slowing down. If she paused for just a moment, whatever it was in the air would ignite and she would find herself in his arms again without being aware of quite how it had happened.

  Except…Oliver was moving away from her. Towards the rooms that were even more of a private sanctuary than the gymnasium. The bedroom Bella had never been invited into.

  OK, she’d had a peek in there while he was away. Stood in the doorway of the vast bedroom that had a bay window with the same gorgeous view of the ocean that the best rooms in the rest of the house had. The sight of the vast bed with its masculine, burgundy cover had made her pulse skip a beat and Bella had been very tempted to go and bury her face in one of the pillows to see if she could catch a hin
t of Oliver. The scent of his skin, maybe, which she would recognise instantly.

  Bella kept moving herself as well. Heading for her own room upstairs because dealing with moments like that in a mature and responsible fashion was part of behaving herself with the most decorum she had available. Sticking to her plan and obeying all the new rules that came with it. Making up for the most irresponsible lapse she’d ever had.

  She’d taken that morning-after pill. She still had the pregnancy test kit that had come with it, along with the instructions to use it three weeks after taking the pill. Just in case.

  It was nearly three weeks now, wasn’t it?

  If Bella went and got that responsibility out of the way, it was possible she could relax a bit more. Maybe even bend the new rules so that things might work out a little differently if another opportunity presented itself like the one that still seemed to be exerting a magnetic pull that made her want to do a U-turn and tap on Oliver’s door. The longing was overwhelmingly powerful. Forbidden and delicious, and Bella knew she would be feeling its subtle aftershocks for hours. Probably for the rest of the night.

  But a remarkably short time later the memory of that sexually charged moment had been completely obliterated and the aftershocks Bella was experiencing were very, very different.

  And definitely very unpleasant.

  Horrific even.

  Shortly after that, Bella slipped out of the Dawsons’ house. There was only one place she could think of being when life threw this kind of a curve ball at her. Only one person she needed to be with.

  Kate.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ‘YOU’RE what?’

  Bella closed her eyes. Something was going wrong here. She didn’t know quite how she’d expected Kate to react to the news but she hadn’t pictured this. The way her aunt had gone as white as a sheet. To look as though…as though Bella had stabbed her in the heart or something.

  ‘I’m pregnant,’ she said for the second time. A whisper now.

  ‘Bella. How could you?’

  They were standing in the kitchen of Kate’s house because she’d been cooking. Connor was running late, apparently. Bella was welcome to stay and have dinner with them both. Or she had been, until she’d summoned her courage and blurted out the frightening results of that damned test.

  ‘It was an accident.’

  Kate’s snort was contemptuous. ‘So that makes everything all right? For God’s sake, Bella. You’re twenty-six. You know about contraception.’

  ‘It just…happened.’ Oh, God…that sounded so pathetic. How many times had Bella heard other people make an excuse like that and thought how stupid they were? No wonder Kate was looking so incredibly angry.

  ‘No, it didn’t,’ she snapped. ‘It was you being totally irresponsible. Again.’

  Bella’s heart sank even further. She’d come here for help. She didn’t need a lecture. She needed advice. From the person she was closest to in the world. An aunt who was more like a sister. A best friend.

  Something was bubbling away in a pot on the stove behind Kate. A pasta sauce, probably. The aroma of garlic and oregano should have been delicious but Bella was aware of faint nausea. The first physical symptoms of her pregnancy, or was it fear that she’d really gone too far this time and even Kate wasn’t going to be prepared to help her pick up the pieces of the latest disaster she’d created?

  Kate seemed to have forgotten the pot. She moved her arms and it looked as if she was hugging herself. Instead of Bella. Yes…that’s the reaction she had expected. Desperately wanted.

  ‘Who’s the father?’ Kate’s voice was hollow. It was an automatic question. A way of filling a horrible silence.

  ‘Oliver Dawson.’

  There was another silence as Kate absorbed what was clearly a shock.

  ‘Does he know?’

  ‘Of course not. I only found out myself five minutes ago. I’ve got no intention of telling him either.’

  Kate’s breath came out in an incredulous huff. ‘You don’t think he might notice?’

  ‘He doesn’t have to.’ She could leave. Go somewhere else to have her baby. Her mother would help her if Kate wouldn’t but it was Kate she wanted to have on her side. To help her tell her mother, if nothing else.

  Kate was staring at her now. She was actually shaking.

  ‘Don’t you dare… Don’t even think about it.’

  ‘About what?’ What was so wrong in keeping a father out of the picture? Millions of women did it. OK, it wasn’t ideal but it wasn’t a hanging offence, was it?

  ‘Getting rid of it,’ Kate said hoarsely. ‘You can’t. You mustn’t…’

  It was Bella’s turn to stare now. She’d never seen Kate look like this. Ever. Her face seemed to be dissolving. Moving into lines of…grief?

  ‘It would haunt you for ever,’ Kate said. ‘You’d think about it every time you saw a baby. Every time it was the day that should have been its birthday. You’d think about how old it would be and whether it would be walking yet or talking…or if it might look like that kid you just saw in someone else’s pram…’

  Whatever it was in the pot was burning now. Bella could smell it but she couldn’t say anything. The way Kate was looking was unbearable. The way she was dragging her breath in as though it was physically painful.

  ‘Did you…have you had an abortion?’ Bella whispered.

  ‘No…’ Kate’s voice rose in her vehemence. ‘And I’m not going to. I just can’t…’

  ‘You don’t need to.’ Bella shook her head. This was surreal. ‘I’m the one who’s pregnant.’

  ‘You don’t get it.’ Kate was shouting now. Calm, controlled Kate who never shouted. Who certainly never looked like this. ‘You’re not the only one who’s pregnant.’

  ‘Oh…my God… Kate, you’re pregnant?’

  The words were inside Bella’s head, but they hadn’t come out of her mouth. Both Bella and Kate turned towards the door. Connor was standing there, looking just as pale as Kate had when Bella had told her why she’d come.

  Kate made an agonised sound. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said brokenly. ‘I’m so sorry…’ And then she turned and fled.

  Bella couldn’t move. She stared at Connor. Connor stared back. He still looked pale and there was no expression on his face whatsoever. He looked…cold. Angry? Maybe. Terrifying? Definitely.

  ‘Turn that pot off, will you?’ Connor said quietly a long, long moment later. ‘Before the house burns down?’ And then he turned as well and went after Kate.

  Poor Kate, Bella thought. Oh, my God. Bella turned off the scorched sauce. She didn’t know what to do next because her world was falling down around her ears. So this was what had been bothering Kate so much. Why she wasn’t so excited about the wedding. Neither of them wanted children. Was this a deal-breaker?

  No. Please, no. Bella sank into a chair beside the kitchen table and buried her face in her hands. For some inexplicable reason it felt like this was all her fault.

  * * *

  ‘I’m sorry, Connor.’ Kate’s heart was breaking. She could actually feel it splintering, the shards stabbing in her chest as she stood there in the garden and Connor came up behind her and enfolded her in his arms.

  She very badly wanted to turn into him and bury her face against his chest and give in to the pain that wanted to escape in gut-wrenching sobs but Kate fought the urge. The battle was enough to make her tremble from head to foot.

  ‘I know it’s the very last thing you want.’ Her voice was trembling, too. ‘That you never want a child of your own because of Pippi.’

  She drew in a shuddering breath as she felt the pressure of Connor’s arms turning her towards him. Pippi had been the baby of Connor’s family. The longed-for girl who had become sick with leukaemia and eventually died, fragmentin
g the family. The determination not to let history repeat had been born then for Connor even if he hadn’t realised it. What had he told her that time? That kids were a potential bomb waiting to go off and destroy a whole family. That it was a risk he was never going to take.

  Connor had been a lost little boy. Forgotten and left to feel abandoned and unloved. Kate knew what that felt like and the connection had been so powerful that hearing his story had been the moment she had realised how much she loved him. She wanted to hold him close and show him how much he was loved.

  Incredibly, such a short time ago, it had seemed like she had her whole life to show him that love. But now she was pregnant and he wouldn’t want to cope with that. Maybe he wasn’t capable of coping and the challenge would be too much. It would send him away.

  Kate had her face against Connor’s chest now. ‘I know it should be easy to…to fix things,’ she said shakily, ‘but I can’t and I can’t even tell you why because…’

  The trembling in her body intensified to become shaking. Connor’s arms tightened around her and somehow he moved them so that Kate found herself sitting beside him but she couldn’t look up at him because she was too scared of what she might see in his face.

  He put his fingers under her chin, though, and lifted her face, and what she saw there wasn’t anger or rejection. It was…it was far more heartbreaking. He looked so sad.

  ‘Never say that, Katie,’ he said. ‘You can tell me anything.’ He touched her face gently. ‘I know that bad stuff happened to you. How could I not? You remember the first time we tried to make love?’

  Of course she did. It had been a disaster.

  ‘That bad stuff—you getting raped by your so-called boyfriend—was in the way.’

  ‘In the way’ was an understatement. It had seemed to spell the end of a potential relationship. Kind of like the way this pregnancy was spelling doom for their impending marriage.

  ‘You still don’t know everything,’ Kate said, her voice breaking as she pulled her hand away from Connor’s.

  ‘So tell me,’ was all Connor said quietly.