Losing Control: A cuckold angst story

by E. B. Wood

  I hardly saw Bea and Steve for the rest of the weekend. They spent the whole time in bed together, only emerging for food and drinks which I happily prepared for them. True to Bea’s command I didn’t dress the whole time and found the experience of waiting on them naked, while they were covered by robes, intensely exciting. Erections were frequent, spontaneous and often painfully hard as the mere thought of what my wife was doing upstairs without me would cause my dick to swell over and over. It took more willpower than I would have ever believed I possessed not to masturbate for relief but knowing that I was not allowed to cum, while at the same time I could hear them bringing each other to the edge over and over, was in its own way a divine pleasure.

  Bea

  Up until now I’d only been with Steve in our home and with Jason around. It was part of our original agreement that I wouldn’t see Steve alone as that was too much like cheating. However Steve had a wedding to attend and asked me to come along. It meant spending the weekend in a hotel with him without my husband which, to be honest, I found a complete turn on. No one at the wedding would know me so I could relax and enjoy being Steve’s girlfriend for the evening, something that I’d never been able to do openly before. Even though Steve and I had been together a number of times without Jason in the room I expected him to baulk at the thought of me spending so much intimate time alone with my lover. To my surprise however he immediately agreed for me to go and his obvious excitement gave me the courage I needed to raise something that had been building in my mind since not long after I first felt the rush of power sleeping with another man gave me.

  I’d decided I wanted to be sexually exclusive to Steve.

  It’s hard to explain just how amazing it felt to be fucked by a new man; the passion, the desire, the pure heady lust. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt a sexual rush like that with Jason. When Jason first started talking about me cuckolding him, one of his main reasons was that he wanted me to experience better sex than I did with him. Despite all my protests Jason simply didn’t believe he could fuck me properly and was convinced that I needed at bigger cock than his. I’d never have done any of this but he was the one that teased me and pushed me, until the idea of taking a lover was something that I considered seriously.

  And do you know what? He was right. Jason’s never fucked me as well as Steve does. Jason’s cock is small compared to Steve’s, and yes, the truth is a big one does feel better. But it’s more than just that; with Steve I cum harder and more often than I ever did with Jason. My pussy aches for Steve’s cock while Jason no longer arouses sexual feelings in me at all. Actually that’s not quite true, I get excited when Jason watches me with Steve, I get excited to see his cock all hard and swollen with frustrated desire when I’ve told him not to cum, I get excited to see him wanking himself after my lover and I have finished and are lying in each other’s arms; but I do not get excited at the thought of his cock inside me.

  Lying in Steve’s arms in bed one night I decided I was going to give Jason a choice and a last chance. If he had any doubts about wanting me to continue to see Steve, then I’d offer him a last chance to win me back as his sexual partner. If he asked I would give up Steve and try my best to be happy with him. I would fuck Jason with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, give my whole body to him and never look at another man again. However if he did not take this chance then I would sleep with Steve exclusively and that would only end when I decided. If Jason opted for me to stay with Steve then I would belong to him alone. Jason would not fuck me, he would not touch me; he would not even see me naked without my permission. And that permission might be a long time in coming. I’d discovered I enjoyed the feeling of power I had over him when I was with another man. The only sexual pleasure Jason gave me was what I got from teasing and denying him. It seemed fair then that the only sexual pleasure he got should be on my terms.

  As I snuggled into the warmth of Steve’s chest and inhaled his wonderful musky smell, I wondered which path Jason would take. Could he stand to watch Steve and I fuck over and over, knowing that no matter how desperate he got he would not be allowed to cum? Could he stand to have just one last chance to see me naked before I covered up in front of him? Could he handle knowing that the only other times that he would see my naked body would be when I chose to share it with Steve in front of him? Or would he decide it was just too much for me to ask and instead insist I gave up my lover and we returned to our satisfactory, but unexciting, monogamous marriage?

  I knew which option I hoped he’d take….

  Jason

  Never in all the years that I’d thought about being cuckolded had I imagined the kind of scenario Bea presented to me. In my mind the other man was always an extension of my fantasy, my desires. Sure, Bea might enjoy sex with him, but he would always remain a bit player to the primary sexual relationship between Bea and me. Instead I now had to face the truth that it was I who had become secondary to their love lives.

  My biggest fear was obviously that Bea was going to leave me; that this was simply the first stage of her replacing me completely with her new man. To my surprise when I expressed this fear Bea simply burst out laughing. She took me in her arms and explained that she still loved me; she had no desire to leave me and absolutely no desire to have that sort of relationship with Steve. Bea took my face in her hands and kissed me softly on the lips. “You silly fool” she whispered “I don’t want to leave you; I just don’t want to fuck you”. As backhand compliments go, I think that’s the best I’ve ever had…

  Once I understood that I didn’t need to fear losing Bea I started to find the idea of her being sexually exclusive to Steve incredibly arousing. Of course I was scared; I mean I was committing to never having sex again for as long as their relationship lasted. I could be cut off for a week, a month, a year or, and here Bea was very clear, I might simply never get to experience sex again, ever (obviously the possibility of me ever having sex with another woman simply did not occur to either of us).

  Despite being a cuckold I was still a man with a normal sexual appetite and one who loved sex. In fact since Bea had taken a lover my sex drive was higher than ever. Was I prepared to give up the chance to have sex myself in order to live vicariously through Bea’s pleasure only? More than that, the last few weeks had clearly shown me that even if I agreed to Bea fucking Steve exclusively it was unlikely that I would be left alone to simply enjoy orgasms by myself. It was obvious to me that if I agreed to Bea’s terms I would lose not only the opportunity to enjoy sex with her but also find my right to orgasm at all subjected to her will.

  For the majority of men I doubt it would have taken more than a few seconds to categorically refuse any part of what Bea was proposing. But in the end for me it was a simple and inevitable choice. I had seen my wife respond to another man’s touch. I had seen her writhe in ecstasy at the feel of his mouth on her pussy and heard her scream and moan like she never had with me as she came hard on his cock. And instead of her lust for Steve making me angry or sad I knew that I had never seen her look as beautiful or desirable as she did when they were locked in passion together. Ultimately for me there wasn’t even a choice to make, I would happily give up every one of my orgasms for the rest of my life for the chance to see my wife’s face as another man’s cock enters her just one more time.

  But, like any condemned man, I did have one last request…

  Bea

  Jason submitted to my decision to only sleep with Steve with commendable grace so I, in turn, agreed to his request for one last fuck before cutting him off. I let Jason know that at some point before my weekend away with Steve I would allow him between my legs for the last time and made it clear that he wasn’t to cum before that. I ensured he was in a high state of arousal by telling him all the things I intended to do with Steve on the weekend and constantly reminding him how he almost certainly wouldn’t be experiencing the same thing for a very, very long time.

  Originally I was going to let him decide
when he could have his last time with me but as he knew that it would be his last fuck for the foreseeable future he could not decide whether to do it quickly or wait until the week was almost over. In the end I told him that I would pick the time. I waited until he came home after a long day at work and had collapsed on the couch in front of the TV. When I was sure that he was probably feeling about as un-sexy as he was going to get I told him that it was now or never.

  We went upstairs to our bedroom and he tried to undress me but I stopped him and pointed out that I had only promised him access to my pussy, not my whole body. I lay back on the bed, lifted my skirt and removed my knickers. Jason stripped right off and his little cock was as hard as I have ever seen it. He might protest a bit about the new rules but his cock tells the truth about how much he is really enjoying it.

  I opened my legs for him but kept my knees down and my body rigid when he entered me. I let him thrust away on top of me while I lay still under him. The problem was that he felt pretty good and I was as wet as hell from teasing him so it took all my will power to lie stationary under him instead of riding him back. The other problem was that Jason knew this was his last fuck and so was in no rush to finish. He would get close to cumming, stop until he had calmed down and then start again. This wasn’t my plan at all, I had intended to tease him by not responding to his cock and instead it was me who wanted it harder and him who was teasing me.

  I was determined to remain still so I went for the psychological approach to making him cum. I started to talk to him, asking him if my cunt felt good and if he was enjoying himself. I said I couldn’t tell, as a much bigger cock had stretched my pussy and I couldn’t feel him properly any more (a lie, but a fun one). I asked how he felt knowing that this would be the last time that he would be inside me, that from now on the only cock that ever entered me would belong to another man. I told him how excited I was about spending the weekend with Steve and how wet I was knowing that I was going to get a good fucking from his big cock.

  My teasing had the desired effect and it was soon obvious that Jason was getting close to cumming. I could tell he was right at the edge when he stopped moving in me again but this time I was ready for him and when he stopped I quickly lifted my knees up and locked my legs around his waist. I thrust my hips up at him, grinding my pussy onto his cock. I took him by surprise and he couldn’t keep control himself and started to shoot inside me. As soon as he started cumming I pushed him off, rolled from under him and stood up. Jason rolled over and I could see that he still had cum spurting helplessly from his cock. I smoothed down my skirt and said that I hoped he had enjoyed it, as that was the last time his cum would ever be in me. I gathered up my knickers and left the room, saying over my shoulder that I wanted him to call Steve and thank him for taking me away for the weekend.

  Jason

  Since Bea’s first date there had been a lot ‘firsts’ for me as well. Some I had anticipated, even longed for; the angst of waiting alone and wondering what she was doing and of actually knowing she was fucking. These were, at times, very hard for me, but that was okay because these were emotions and demons that I actively wanted to unlock by wishing Bea to cuckold me. But then there were other experiences that I hadn’t foreseen; Bea forbidding me to cum, Bea sending me away so she could have private time with Steve. It’s not that these experiences were negative, in fact I found that, unanticipated though they were, they enhanced my cuckold feelings and therefore my enjoyment of my new role.

  The desire to be a cuckold had always been strong within me. I’d tried to understand what it was inside me that craved such an unusual thing. I had a good job, a nice house and a wife who loved me. Why would I want to put that all at risk by having Bea fuck another man? I’d asked myself that question without answer many times back when it was all just a fantasy and, eventually, found that there was no answer to be found in the reality either.

  With Bea’s decision to cut me off sexually and let Steve take her away for a weekend as his girlfriend, I found I needed to re-examine the ultimate question ‘Why did I need to be a cuckold?’

  Was it feelings of sexual inferiority? I’m not a terrible fuck; I’m inventive, attentive and open to just about anything. Although my default had always been sexually submissive I’d certainly never been a wimp or a sissy in bed. However I’d been made aware from discussions with previous partners that I’m also not the best they’d ever had either (often not even close). Perhaps strangely this never bothered me at all. There’s plenty of men who are better than me at tennis, or painting, or building, or a host of other things and this never bothered me. Why then get bent out of shape just because some of them are better at fucking than me?

  Was it about the all-important cock size? Ah, well, this is where you have me, at least partly. I do have a small cock. It’s short and it’s thin so I’m not winning anywhere on that score. All of my sexual partners had enjoyed men with bigger cocks and, for many; I was the smallest they’d ever had. But surely just having a small cock doesn’t naturally mean you want your wife to fuck someone else. I mean, if I had insecurities about the size of my dick why on earth would I want my wife out there sampling guys who are better endowed? Wouldn’t it be better to keep Bea to myself and hope she forgets all about all those other, big-cocked, men? Not so for me; for years I’d fantasized about Bea with other men and a key element was that the fantasy guy had a significantly larger cock than me.

  When Bea took Steve as a lover I was able to see firsthand just how strongly she responded to his bigger cock. I’d certainly never made her cum so often or so hard but I also had to acknowledge the uncomfortable truth that he probably would have done the same even if his cock was the same size as mine. It was Steve himself who Bea responded so strongly to. His large cock was a definite bonus but I rather strongly suspected my wife would have removed me from her sex life regardless of what was between his legs. Steve simply fucked Bea better than me.

  Which brings me to my next point.

  Was it about humiliation? I didn’t think so. Obviously having Bea fuck someone else involved a degree of humiliation. After all, sexual prowess is the mark of a man and being cuckolded is synonymous with male weakness and sexual failure. Obviously a ‘real’ man’s wife would be so utterly sated from his fantastic love-making that she’d have no need for another man...

  In a lot of facets of my life I’m an Alpha male and yet I still wanted another man, a ‘real’ man, to fuck Bea for me. What’s that all about?

  In honestly there had been times when I’d been humiliated sexually previously. I’d had women smirk, smile and even openly laugh at my cock. I’d suffered the usual comments and ‘jokes’ from other men in the locker room. I couldn’t say I’d ever enjoyed this or received any sort of thrill from being so humiliated; however there was no getting around the fact that having another man fuck my wife was, on many levels, humiliating. Therefore, although I’d never sought humiliation, I was prepared to accept it as a by-product of being cuckolded.

  What I hadn’t expected was a situation where not only was another man fucking my wife, but she so openly and obviously preferred fucking him her more than me, and she was going to exclude me from (never mind sex) even seeing her naked while she was with him and I had to call him up and thank him!

  Of course I could have resisted. I could have refused this final, let’s be honest, humiliation. But, just as Bea was addicted to her new lover, so I was addicted to her pleasure. Just as Bea’s orgasms excited me more than my own ever did, so did knowing that she’d be having intimate, fantastic, mind-blowing, orgasmic sex while I didn’t. My pleasure now came exclusively from hers, and by extension, Steve’s.

  Therefore I walked, still naked and covered with the drying cum of the ruined orgasm which was the cheerless culmination of my last fuck with my wife, into the lounge were, under Bea’s amused smile, I phoned her lover. Was I humiliated as I thanked this man for taking my wife away from me? Was it degrading to ask him to fuck her all to hims
elf while I waited alone at home for her return? Was I shamed to hear him laugh and promise that he’d screw Bea until she begged him to stop, screw her some more and then send her back to me exhausted as sated? Yes, it was all of those things but perhaps the most humiliating part was when I finally hung up and had to face my wife when it was so obvious to both of us that my own, skinny, neglected cock, was once again hard and erect as if a monument to cuckold husbands everywhere.

  Bea

  Jason and I were having our customary drink in the kitchen while we waited for Steve to arrive. It was the sixth time that we’d waited together for another man to come and sleep with me, however this time was different. This time my lover was coming to take me away from Jason and for the first time he would be left alone with an empty bed while I was in someone else’s. In Jason’s eyes I could see his emotions swing as he both desired and feared for me to go. My husband started us on this road and I knew that at times it’d been a hard one for him. Deep down he needed to see me with another man but at times the sight was simply too much for him to bear. This time I’d be with another man totally and Jason would be alone with only his imagination for company. I knew he was scared but I felt only excitement at the prospect of having Steve to myself. Jason is my husband and I love him but it was only Steve’s cock that I wanted to feel inside me.

  I’d let Jason help me get ready and admit that I’d teased him by wandering around naked and making him watch me try on a selection of underwear, even though I already knew what I was going to wear. Of course I noticed his little cock getting hard at the knowledge that the next person to see me naked wouldn’t be him. I think we both enjoyed that anticipation.