Kitty Katt 14: Alien Nation

by Gini Koch

  “Excuse me?”

  “I just realized what the building at the bottom of the Gulf looks like. Besides a vacation home for the Cleophese. So, um, I need to ask another question that you’re going to berate me for asking. But a girl really likes to be sure before she panics.”

  “I’ll allow it.”

  “You’re too kind. Muddy expects the Faradawn ship—the ship carrying however many fleeing Q’vox on it—to land in water. Muddy and everyone else would expect that water to be in the Bermuda Triangle. Only . . . if I think about what you showed me and I consider what little I saw of the Treeship, said ship possesses roots, or things that look like roots. And roots resemble tentacles. And I think the Faradawn ship is actually going to dock itself in the Persian Gulf. Is that correct?”

  “Most likely, yes.”

  Algar saying most likely meant one hundred thousand percent yes. “And, just spitballing here, but you also firmly feel that Cliff’s found a new base of operations in the Middle East, nice and near to this landing site, most likely in or around Dubai.”

  “It’s a very welcoming country. Quite modern for the area. Lovely hotels. Amazing architecture.”

  “I’ll recommend you write for their Tourism Bureau. So, do we invade the UAE, ask for their help with extradition of America’s Literally Most Wanted, or what?”

  “You have a tour you need to go on,” Algar said, as if the rest of this conversation hadn’t happened. “You need to focus on that, not bothering a foreign country with America’s little problems.”

  Stared at him. He stared back, expression pleasant. Resisted the urge to strangle him. Instead, took a deep breath, held it, and let it out slowly.

  Looked at the atlas again. The triangle cut through Iraq as well, and there were three other countries included inside the triangle. Fully included, which the UAE, Saudi Arabia, and Iran were definitely not. Qatar, Kuwait, and . . . Bahrain. “It’s time for me to talk to our friends at the Bahraini Embassy, isn’t it?”

  “It would make sense for the First Lady to visit the country from which one of her dearest friends comes.”

  “Check. And we’ll manage not to insult Israel with this decision because Mossad will handle that for us in some way. So, you’d suggest that I start the tour in Bahrain, right? Just go for the gusto without passing go or collecting two hundred dollars?”

  “It would seem wise.”

  “Jeff needs to stay home, doesn’t he? Not because of all the official reasons, but because of Chuckie. If Jeff goes with me, then Chuckie will come with us, too. And he’ll murder Cliff or, worse, give Cliff an opportunity to hurt or kill him, because I don’t care what he or anyone else says—Cliff is the reason Naomi’s dead and there’s no way that Chuckie doesn’t still want to avenge that.”

  “See? You really don’t need to come running to me to chat all the time.”

  “Oh, but I enjoy the mental workout so very much. You know, I’m supposed to bring the kids with me. Sure, we’ll have full protection details on all of them, but this just took on a whole additional dimension of risk. I’m not sure they should be coming along. I don’t care about my looking like the worst mother in the world, but I do care about my kids or Lizzie getting snatched by the Crazy Eights. Or anyone else, for that matter.”

  Algar shrugged. “As to that, I recommend you focus on getting to sleep as soon as you possibly can. I’d also suggest eating some rich dessert prior to going to bed. It should ensure you have vivid dreams.”

  And with that, Algar snapped his fingers and disappeared.

  CHAPTER 44

  “THANK YOU,” I said to the hamper. “I really do enjoy our talks.” Sorta. Some were definitely less painful than others. This one was threatening to give me a migraine.

  Put the atlas back onto our coffee table. Considered putting it into my purse, but it was kind of heavy.

  Algar’s “chat with ACE” hint made me just want to blow off the LSR and try to sleep. However, there was no way that Jamie was asleep enough for me to safely talk to ACE—it was just turning nine at night. Her bedtime was seven whenever we could manage it, but there was no way she was asleep yet, not with Pierre in charge of the festivities. They were probably into the second movie in whatever Disney marathon he’d planned.

  Meaning I had to cowgirl up and join the others in the Stress Meeting. Joy.

  Considered what relieved stress. Had had sex with Jeff already and that wasn’t an option right now. Couldn’t cuddle the kids because they were elsewhere having fun. Looked in my purse. Sure enough, I had Snoozing Poofs on Board. But only Harlie and Poofikins. Had to figure that the other Poofs were with their owners.

  Stroked the two Poofs gently. They made happy sleeping noises. Could have woken them up, but just the act of petting them made me feel better.

  Wished Algar hadn’t left already. I needed guidance for how to handle things in the LSR, since I couldn’t very well say that The Great God Algar had shared some wisdom with me. Eating one of Chef’s desserts wasn’t going to be a problem, but it would be hours before I could legitimately try to talk to ACE in my sleep.

  Pondered my options. There were two people in the world who I knew for certain were in the extremely limited Algar Club. White was undoubtedly in the LSR, so my calling him would be suspicious.

  Had no idea of what time it was in Italy, but it was probably really early in the morning. Then again, he always insisted that if any of us needed guidance, he was there 24/7. Time to put that to the test. Pulled out my phone and made the call.

  He answered on the fourth ring. “Kitty?” Gower sounded tired but not necessarily asleep. “Is everything okay?”

  “Um, in some ways yes, in some ways no. Are you able to talk privately? And I apologize for most likely waking you up.”

  “I was awake. I’ve had trouble sleeping for a variety of reasons. Just didn’t have my phone near me when you called.”

  “Are things okay with you?”

  “Yes, it’s just a difficult time, wrangling all these different religious leaders into one cohesive mindset. Officially we’re all together. In reality, it’s taking longer than we probably have.”

  “Yeah, as to that . . . I kind of need Supreme Pontifex guidance.”

  “Really?” Gower sounded a lot more awake. “What’s wrong? Are things okay with Jeff and the kids?”

  “Oh, yeah, this isn’t a domestic issue. It’s more of an ‘I know what to do but cannot tell anyone how I know what to do’ issue.”

  Gower was quiet for a few moments. “You talk to . . . him . . . regularly, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, I do. Do you?”

  “Not as much as you. I think you’re his favorite, but he does visit when I really need him.” He cleared his throat. “I’m amazed we can talk about him at all.”

  “I think he knows we need to be able to not pussyfoot at this precise time. So, get comfortable, I have a lot to catch you up on.”

  Spent a good fifteen minutes talking fast and nonstop. The beauty of sharing with an A-C was that Gower could hear faster than I could talk, so I could talk as fast as possible. I still wasn’t able to talk at hyperspeed, but I was a fast talker by nature, and when I had my Recap Girl cape on I was even faster.

  Finished up. “So,” Gower said slowly, “we should be realistic and admit that you’re not really going on a FLOTUS world tour so much as you’re going to use that as a cover to stop Cliff before the Faradawn Treeship lands and all hell literally breaks loose.”

  “Got it in one. I therefore need to start this tour in the Middle East. I can get Mona Nejem to help me start in Bahrain and, hopefully, use that as the excuse to talk to people in the region. But I’m sure that will meet with a lot of resistance.”

  “And jealousy, too, I’d imagine.”

  “Probably. More because it’s ‘The First Lady’ visiting rather than anyone wanting me
, specifically, to come hang out.”

  Gower chuckled. “Oh, don’t sell yourself short, Kitty.”

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence. Not sure that makes any of this more workable.”

  “I can help you with the reason for why you need to start in Bahrain. We’re having a lot of pushback from the Muslim leaders, more because they fear that their extremists will fight this tooth and nail than because they’re not willing to move forward into the brave new world descending on us.”

  “Just like our extremists will. Yeah, I truly feel their pain. So, what, we’re going to say that I’m going to the Middle East first to soothe the Muslim leaders? I’m Jewish. I’m not so sure that will fly.”

  “You may be Jewish, but your reputation precedes you, and you’re considered someone essentially neutral.”

  “Pull the other one, it has bells on. My mother was in Mossad. For all we know, my mother is technically still in Mossad.”

  “Yes, and yet you can count the Ambassadress of Bahrain as a close friend. You’re responsible for continuously breaking up the Al Dejahl terrorist network, which is not aligned with Islam in any way but which, due to the name and the region where the majority of recruitment is done, reflects badly on everyone in said region.”

  “Wow, you’re as good at the diplomatic spin as Richard is.” Had a happy thought. “Um, Paul? Would it be possible for you to go with me on this tour?”

  He chuckled again. “Yes, I was anticipating the request. James isn’t going to like the idea, though.”

  “Well, all of Alpha Team is supposed to go with me, and you’re part of Alpha Team still, so . . .”

  “That spin won’t fly with him. However, the religious summit has voted to head to Saudi Arabia in an attempt to sway the hearts and minds of as many as possible. Europe seems to be the most willing to go along with us, but Russia and all those surrounding countries aren’t so sure.”

  “Meaning I need to get Olga Dalca involved as well.”

  “Yes, again, your being close friends with the Romanian Ambassadress is a huge help and yet another example of your neutrality.”

  Chose not to ask how I’d become the poster girl for We Are The World. “Whatever works. Speaking of the region, though, I’m sure that Cliff has a benefactor of some kind helping him out, because if he’s embedded himself in that area, and I’m really sure that he has, then he didn’t do it without assistance.”

  “There are always remnants of Al Dejahl around, just waiting for their new leader. I’d assume that’s who he’s with.”

  “Figure one of them has money, because Hacker International cleared out of most of Cliff’s holdings along with those of anyone else connected to him that they could find.”

  “Our enemies rarely work alone.”

  “Which is why I don’t want to, either. So, does Jeff go with me or stay here? And what about the kids? I was told, gads, only this morning that the kids were going with me on the world tour, but I’m worried about taking them.”

  Gower was quiet for another few moments. “I think your mother is right—the President needs to stay put. I understand why Muddy thinks otherwise, but while the Turleens may have visited a lot, what they haven’t done is interact with humans, and observation is different from interaction. Plus, as you mentioned, we don’t want Chuck on the front lines with Cliff if we can help it.”

  “I kind of wish ACE was still riding shotgun with you.”

  He chuckled. “I know. He won’t allow anything to hurt Jamie. Or any of the other children, either.”

  “I know, but as the memory of the two of you trapped in an airless chamber in a baggage car of the Paris Metro is still vivid, we need to remember that ACE and Jamie both are vulnerable to any variety of attacks.”

  “Attacks on your mothering skills aren’t going to help the situation, though.”

  “True enough, but I’d rather have those attacks come at me than have my children in danger. And while Lizzie is more than capable of kicking butt, she’s still a kid, too.”

  “Can’t argue any of that. I’m going to call into the Situation Room. I’m awake and it sounds like my input could be useful.”

  “It always is. Call the Large Situation Room, by the way—we’ve got all hands on deck.”

  Gower chuckled. “Will do.”

  “Are we telling them all about the real plan?”

  “No. If Jeff knows you’re planning to take on Cliff he won’t stay in the States, and Chuck will try to get there first and handle it himself, which we know we don’t want. I think we keep the real plan to ourselves and those who must know until we’re in the Middle East.”

  “Works for me. I’ll have to tell Mona what’s going on in order to get her help, and Olga will probably already know most of it.”

  “That’s fine, but for the Large Situation Room, we’re doing this as a joint political and religious action.”

  “Works for me. Tell them I’m on my way, please and thank you.”

  “Will do, and I’ll see you soon, Kitty.”

  Hung up and considered my next moves. Figured it would be a lot better if I already had things set up, so I called Mona first. She was awake and, since I could tell her what was really going on—excepting the assistance from one of the Powers That Be—she was quickly amenable. And she was clear that the real mission was on a need-to-know basis and most, Jeff included, wouldn’t actually know about it until we’d either succeeded or needed help.

  “Anything we can do to end that madman once and for all is something I wholeheartedly support,” she said after I’d given her all the pertinent details. “Give me a few hours, but I can guarantee that your first stop will be Bahrain. I’ll be going with you, and that will give you an entrée into any of the other countries you need.”

  “You’re the best. I’ll add you and Khalid to my gigantic entourage roster. What about Oren, Jakob, and Leah?”

  “I believe that Mossad will be present.”

  Considered this. “Wow, you have fake Bahraini passports for them, don’t you?”

  “I like to keep my friends close, and safe, since they keep me safe. Besides, as the religious summit has said and you have confirmed, we’re about to enter into a new world order where Mossad will be a friendly comfort opposed to the strange new beings coming here to hide or hinder.”

  “Well put. Keep me posted, I doubt anyone’s getting much sleep tonight.”

  We hung up, and now it was time to contact Olga. Olga normally preferred personal visits. Considered options and called her granddaughter, Adriana. “Grandmother says that she will be pleased for us to join you in the Large Situation Room, if you would be so kind as to send escorts.”

  “Wow. I swear that Olga is the most amazing person I know.”

  “She said you’d say that and wanted me to remind you that she pays attention to everything. And to tell you that she and I will, of course, not tell your husband or anyone else why you want to go to the Middle East first. We are fully invested in getting rid of the Mastermind and all of his cronies sooner as opposed to later.”

  “Again, wow. Um, do you two know that we have more aliens on the way?”

  Received a few moments of silence. “No, but it makes sense. I will let Grandmother know.”

  “Do, because some of them are coming to hide, some to help, and some to destroy. So, you know, business as usual for all of us. I’ll revel in knowing something Olga didn’t for as long as it takes for you guys to get here. I’ll send Len and Kyle and a couple of Field teams to get you two. You want an obvious car or stealth?”

  “Stealth for tonight, I believe. Obvious will be for later.”

  “Gotcha, and see you soon.”

  Sent Chuckie and Jeff a text, telling them that I needed Olga and Adriana picked up pronto. Got a confirmation text from Chuckie that this would be done immediately and the strong
suggestion to get my butt into the LSR before the Romanians arrived.

  Decided there was no more stalling I could get away with. Used hyperspeed to get to the room in less than three seconds. Opened the door at human normal speeds, just in case we had someone who wasn’t aware that I was enhanced in there. By now I couldn’t remember who knew what and had stopped trying to remember.

  My timing was great, as I opened the door just in time to hear people yelling at each other.

  CHAPTER 45

  THANKFULLY, a quick scan of the room showed that no one in here was doing the shouting. The TV screens were live and showing a variety of religious and other protests going on. The shouting was coming from a Club Fifty-One True Believers and Church of Hate and Intolerance rally on one screen, and several different screaming protests in what were clearly Middle Eastern countries. Frankly, there were protests going on all over the world, it looked like.

  “You’re just in time,” Jeff said as I took my seat next to him. “Paul’s on speakerphone, by the way. He’s the one who told us to turn on the TVs.”

  “I hate this show. Let’s find a Love Boat marathon.”

  “I wish. The hackers are also listening in. I have them on mute, however. They’ll text Chuck if they have something key.” Jeff heaved a sigh. “Raj, turn it down, please, I think we all get the gist.”

  While Raj complied, took a look around the room. Everyone from earlier in the day was here, along with extras like the Chief Usher, Antoinette Reilly, which made sense since she would be intimately involved in planning my FLOTUS World Tour. I wasn’t stressing her out every minute of every day anymore, but I was pretty sure I was still causing her pain on an hourly basis. There were a ton of other important folks here as well. Nice to be popular.

  The Secret Service, K-9 squad, dogs, and sorta prisoners weren’t in the room. Had no idea where they were, but in this room wasn’t it. Maybe Jeff had sent them to hang out with Hacker International over at the Zoo, which was what we called the second building of our Embassy Complex.