Kitty Katt 14: Alien Nation

by Gini Koch

  “Fritzy, let’s just say that it’s been a long couple of days and leave it at that.”

  CHAPTER 100

  AMAZINGLY ENOUGH, there were no more issues with the remaining aliens landing. Possibly because Hughes had streamed the entire conversation I’d had with Hochberg to Oliver, who’d ensured that it broadcast to the world. Take that, Amos Tobin.

  Jeff, Wruck, and I stayed on the Z’porrah ship, just in case. But nothing untoward happened. Once we’d officially landed and had given the Z’porrah their photo op, we coordinated with Colonel Franklin and had the Z’porrah move the ship to Andrews. But it had mattered, for everyone on Earth and anyone who might be watching from far away, to see that ship land in peace, and to see the Z’porrah exit the ship with us, without them firing on anyone or anything.

  We had the Z’porrah going to East Base, because we didn’t trust any of the humans to not try to kill them, and we trusted the other aliens on the planet even less. The Anciannas were going to join them there as well, in part to guard the Z’porrah and in part because they wanted the comfort of being with the people they had the most in common with.

  The aliens from the Treeship were housing in the Middle East. Those who’d come in the Yggethnian ship were being housed in South America. The Vrierst were in Siberia because they wanted to be—apparently Netu was a far colder planet than Earth.

  The Turleens were at Caliente Base, and the Lyssara were staying in their Comb that was in the Arizona-New Mexico desert as well. The Themnir had been invited to go to Australia, China, and to stay in the U.S. They chose Florida because of the weather, so NASA Base was housing them.

  The Aicirtap were sent to Home Base, where they were going to house as well, meaning Area 51 got to have its first official, sanctioned, and broadcast alien landing. A red-letter day for everyone, conspiracy theorists in particular.

  Speaking of my favorite one, Chuckie joined us once the helicarrier was parked back in its nice spot at Andrews, just as we were sending the last of the Z’porrah off with their Field escorts and Wruck, who wanted to be sure that they and the Anciannas were settled safely. “I’ll see you back at the White House,” Wruck said as he nodded to Chuckie. “Call if something happens before then.”

  “Let’s hope not,” Jeff said. “I think we’ve earned a break.”

  Chuckie looked better than he had in a really long time. “This ship has stairs?” he asked as Wruck pushed a rounded disc on the outside of the ship then headed off with the last of the Z’porrah. The stairs folded back up into the body of the saucer, just like airplane stairs did.

  “All of them do,” Jeff said. “As it turns out.”

  “Apparently the Z’porrah’s beaming in and out maneuver is totally done as a wartime thing to impress the natives and make it harder for projectiles to hit them.” Looked around. “Where’s everyone else?” We were remarkably alone.

  “The rest of the team is heading home to shower and sleep.” He chuckled. “They told me to tell you to take the high fives for granted.”

  “Why aren’t you doing the same?” Jeff asked.

  Chuckie shrugged. “I want to make sure everything’s really over for the moment. I’ve heard from James—everyone’s back where they’re supposed to be, including all White House and Embassy staff who were along for this particular wild ride. He says to warn you that Antoinette is either going to resign or demand to go on every mission with you.”

  Jeff laughed. “Good to know.”

  “Oh, Kitty, James also wanted me to tell you that Tito and Rahmi’s wedding is finally a go. Renata doesn’t expect to be on the planet much longer and wants to see that happen.” He was laughing at a private joke, I could tell.

  “What is it you’re not telling me?”

  “Rhee’s getting married, too. She asked for an exception to the ridiculously long engagement cycle they have, and since she’s the younger sister, Renata was able to agree.”

  “I’m surprised in a way. I didn’t think she was the marrying kind.”

  “Rhee?” Jeff asked. “Why would you say that?”

  Snorted. “No, not Rhee. Camilla.”

  He gaped at me. “There’s no way. I haven’t picked up anything like that.”

  Managed not to roll my eyes, but only just. “Dude, Camilla has never done anything other than sneer at Hacker International, the flyboys, James, you, and, most significantly, Chuckie. A-C women like brains. So if I see an A-C woman who isn’t drooling at a really brainy dude, I take the logical leap and assume it’s because she’s looking for a brainy chick.”

  “But . . . but I know the others who are—”

  Put up the paw. He closed his mouth. “Camilla is a Liar, capital L. She’s trained Rhee in how to hide things like this from you. It’s probably been a great test for her. But at any rate, Camilla fooling you emotionally isn’t the surprise. You not realizing what was going on is just you being inattentive. Don’t try to sell it any other way.”

  “I knew,” Chuckie said. “I mean, just like Kitty said, it was obvious.”

  “I refuse to discuss this any longer,” Jeff said. “I just hope we all get to have some sleep before the weddings. Of which I expect a lot more,” he added rather defensively.

  “Yes, yes, Mister Empath Supreme, we know. Hooking up is happening.”

  Chuckie laughed. “Not for everyone, but facing the end of the world does tend to make people finally admit their attractions.”

  “Just like—” Jeff started.

  Put up the paw again. “Later. We can gossip about all the love connections later.” Looked at Chuckie out of the corner of my eye. He definitely looked better than he had since Naomi had died. He looked like himself again.

  Chuckie kissed my cheek. “It’s fine, Kitty. Jeff can talk about people being happy around me. I finally believe that I’ll be happy again like that in the future. You two can both stop worrying about me.”

  “Oh, that’s never gonna happen. If we love you, we worry about you.”

  “What Kitty said.”

  Chuckie grinned. “I’ll take it.”

  We were heading for the gate that Andrews had in what it was now calling its Alien Craft Hangar, when Tim stepped through it. “There you guys are. Nicely done, Kitty.”

  “What?”

  He grinned. “Centaurion Division has people lined up for recruitment in pretty much every country. Your speech about not wanting to send kids in to die when you could handle it yourselves has apparently made all those kids and anyone else who’s ever dreamed of being in the military or going into space want to get in on the action. And their governments are encouraging it, particularly those governments who don’t have nukes and who, therefore, feel that they’re firmly on Big Queenie’s good side.”

  “I’m going to regret giving myself that nickname, aren’t I?”

  “Probably. We’re going to have to expand in order to train everyone. Just wanted you to know so that it didn’t catch you by surprise.”

  Gave him a hug. “You’re the best, Megalomaniac Lad.”

  “I am, it’s true. You guys need to go home, take showers—trust me on that—eat some food, be with your families, and get some sleep. Oh, Chuck, Angela had your parents brought out here, just in case. They’re at the Embassy along with pretty much everyone else who isn’t at the White House.”

  “I’m definitely going to go home and shower and change, then, before I see my parents. I don’t think it’s good for them to see any of us looking like we do right now.” Chuckie hugged me, did the man hug thing with Jeff, got a fist bump from Tim, then Jeff calibrated the gate for him and he stepped through.

  “Think he’ll move on now?” Tim asked.

  “We can but hope, but yeah, I do. Where are you going?”

  “Home. As in, the house you grew up in. My wife’s waiting, and before you beat yourself up, she was at Calie
nte Base for the last day or however long it’s been since we had to roll out to the Middle East. I want a home-cooked meal and to sleep in my own bed before the next round of crises hits. You know, tomorrow.”

  We all laughed, Jeff and I both hugged Tim, then Jeff again calibrated the gate and Tim stepped through to Pueblo Caliente.

  “Embassy first, showers first, or White House first?” Jeff asked as he spun the dial on the gate.

  “Kids first. Well, kids and pets, since they’re basically a packaged deal these days.”

  “Looking like this? You sure it won’t frighten them?”

  “I’m sure.”

  Jeff concentrated. “Huh. Siler’s already there. He must have gone straight to Lizzie.”

  “Good. It’s where he belongs, with his daughter.”

  Jeff put his arm around my waist as he finished calibrating our gate. “We saved the world, baby. And the galaxy.”

  “No. We saved our children and everybody else’s children. So everyone gets to see what a brave new world really looks like.”

  We walked through the gate. Resisted asking why we hadn’t used our Beaming Bling. Sometimes it was better to just go with the routine.

  We weren’t in the Embassy. We were in the White House, in Jamie’s room. She had Charlie on her bed with her, along with literally every animal, domestic and space-foreign, we had. The K-9 dogs were here, too.

  “Mommy! Daddy!” Jamie squealed. Charlie did the Happy Baby Bounce.

  The sea of animals parted for us so we could get to the kids. Jeff picked up Jamie, I took Charlie, and we both hugged and kissed the heck out of them. “You did great,” Jeff said to her when the initial loving was over and he was passing her to me and taking Charlie for the next round. “I’m so proud of you for protecting your little brother.”

  Jamie smiled at him, then looked at me and smiled a different smile. She looked like Mom did, any time she and I weren’t telling Dad something for his own good.

  I laughed as I hugged her tightly and kissed her head. “Oh, our Jamie-Kat is the best girl in the world. In all ways. And,” I whispered to her as Jeff gave Charlie a short airplane ride, “I’m so proud of you. You really are your mother and grandmother’s girl.”

  Jamie hugged me back, just as tightly. “Yes, Mommy, I am. And I always will be.”

  Then we went in for one big family hug, interspersed with lots and lots of kisses, for what seemed like far too short a time. But it made surviving that much sweeter, and everything we’d had to do to save our alien nation worthwhile. It turned out that it was indeed good to be Big Queenie.

  Available May 2017,

  the fifteenth novel in the Alien series

  from Gini Koch:

  ALIEN EDUCATION

  Read on for a sneak preview

  “IT’S ANOTHER GREAT DAY on Good Day USA!” the perky morning show host shared enthusiastically. “Our first hour we focused on all the new alien races we’ve gotten to know over these past few months.” The audience dutifully applauded. “This next hour is going to be even better, though, folks. We can’t wait because we’re just so excited to announce our next special guest!” More audience applause.

  Didn’t share any of their enthusiasm, but then again, I was the opposite of a morning person and was still wondering why I was awake at this hour. Also could not remember the host’s name, which was because, in part, I was never up to watch these shows and, in other part, I was never up because I wasn’t a morning person and therefore wasn’t sure I currently remembered my own name.

  She was pretty and Hispanic and that was all I was getting, because my brain didn’t want to do any work beyond what my eyes were sharing. Was fairly sure her name started with a K, since that appeared to be a morning show requirement. My name started with a K, too. Perhaps, in another part of the multiverse, I was a morning show anchor. Though I sincerely doubted it.

  Her handsome male cohost, whose name was also escaping me, nodded equally enthusiastically. He was perky, too. Obnoxiously so. “This is a guest everyone wants, who we’re really proud to have been able to bring to our viewers first, because we go out of our way to start your days right! Don’t we, Kristie?”

  Bingo, and starting with a K. Now if I could only remember his name. The dudes’ names didn’t seem to have a letter requirement. Managed to remember that he was a former baseball player, so there was that. He reminded me a lot of the late Michael Gower—big, bald, black, and beautiful, with definite charisma. The audience was clapping again. Was pretty sure there was a sign somewhere telling them to do so.

  “We sure do, Adam!” Kristie said, still sounding amazingly perky. Hurray for the requirement on these shows to use your fellow hosts’ names at least once every ten minutes. “You all know her as the First Lady of the United States. Coming out right now, here’s Code Name: First Lady, Katherine Katt-Martini!”

  Yes, that was me and, barring my being really lucky, I wasn’t asleep and this wasn’t a nightmare, at least, not a sleeping one. There were a lot of hells that politics had put me into, but none worse than this—being a guest on a morning talk show.

  As the audience clapped themselves into a frenzy and I was gently shoved forward toward the stage by my so-called friends, I once again asked myself and the greater cosmos why anyone had thought this was a good idea. And also who hadn’t shared with Kristie and Adam that I never wanted anyone to refer to me as Code Name: First Lady. Whoever it was would be receiving a very nasty talking-to whenever I got out of here.

  Wasn’t walking forward with the right amount of enthusiasm, and I knew it, since the stage manager hissed, “Move it!” to me. So much for the idea that being the FLOTUS got you any respect backstage.

  Either he’d heard the stage manager or he was used to some guests not being thrilled to be on the show, because Adam jumped up out of his seat, trotted over to me, and escorted me to mine, potentially earning my lifelong love and adoration. He settled me into my so-called chair that was a lot more like a barstool with a back. I wasn’t tall, so it was a little awkward. Of course, Kristie wasn’t that tall, either, and she was making it work.

  “Missus Martini,” she said, beaming and perky beyond belief, “thank you for joining us on Good Day USA!”

  “Happy to be here,” I totally lied. “And please, call me Kitty.”

  She and Adam exchanged thrilled glances. I sincerely doubted they were as excited as they looked. They were the top morning show in the country and they hadn’t gotten there by being dull to watch. And on the morning shows, reactions were Broadcast with a Capital B.

  “Thank you . . . Kitty,” Kristie said, sounding as thrilled and perky as she looked. “Gosh, we have so many questions for you, don’t we, Adam?”

  “We do!” Perk, perk, perk. These two were the King and Queen of Perkiness. “Kitty . . . gosh, I can’t believe I get to speak to you so informally, Kristie and I have been prepping questions nonstop since you agreed to come onto Good Day USA, and now that you’re here, I’m so excited that I just can’t remember half of them!”

  Prayed that these two weren’t going to expect me to provide both questions and answers, because, if so, this program was about to go way down in the ratings. But a response seemed expected. “Um, that’s really sweet of you to say.”

  “Isn’t she great, folks?” Kristie perked at the audience, as if I’d done an Oprah and just given everyone a car.

  The audience applauded hysterically. There had to be a sign somewhere telling them to do so, but I couldn’t spot it from my vantage point of trying not to look at anyone or anything while still appearing poised and confident. Was pretty sure I was failing at all of it.

  “Kitty, what’s it like to be a human and yet part of the American Centaurion population on Earth?” Adam asked, apparently having managed to remember at least one of his prepared questions. He’d traded perky for inquisitive. So at
least there was that.

  “It’s great. The A-Cs are wonderful people.”

  “They’re stronger and faster than us, aren’t they?” Adam asked. “And better looking, too.”

  “Well, yes.” The A-Cs had two hearts which meant they could move so fast a human couldn’t see them, and they were also super strong. I felt that hyperspeed was the better of the two, but I wasn’t going to complain about the extra strength, either. They also had extremely fast healing and regeneration, which was a huge bonus for those in active and dangerous roles. And, as Adam had said, they were, to a person, all gorgeous, representing every skin tone on Earth, and every body type, too, as long as the term “hardbody” was applied as well. “But I don’t think you have anything to feel inadequate about, Adam.”

  This earned me wild applause from the audience and some women whooped their approval. Adam looked flattered and a little embarrassed. So, presumably I was doing okay. As long as they didn’t ask if I had any A-C bells and whistles, we were good. Because I did and no one wanted me talking about it.

  Due to the mother-and-child feedback that had happened when I’d been pregnant with and given birth to our daughter, Jamie, I’d reverse inherited the A-C superstrength and hyperspeed. I’d also gotten a talent, and one that wasn’t normal for A-Cs.

  Talents didn’t go to every A-C, but they got talents far more frequently than would seem statistically normal. Jeff was an empath—in fact, due to being given Surcenthumain, aka the Superpowers Drug, by some of our enemies, he was likely the strongest empath in the galaxy. Empaths felt emotions, everyone’s emotions, all the time. They had ways to block the emotions, but still, they were walking lie-detectors among other things.

  Imageers had been more powerful before our enemies had introduced a virus that successfully muted their powers. Done, most likely, to prevent Jeff’s cousin, Christopher White, from discovering who our late, great enemy, the Mastermind, had really been. Before that, though, imageers could not only manipulate any image but they could read them, too, the pictures making a copy of mind and soul, at least as Christopher had explained it.