by CC Monroe
Eric’s damage seeps through the cracks, and that pesky jealousy I’m not used to feeling tries to lunge out from me. “I respect you. Don’t ever question that.” I release her and step back, trying to calm my cock and my envious rage. Men don’t react to jealous feelings; boys do. But she is making it hard not to. Kate brings out all the animalistic behaviors in me like no one ever has. I feel her watching me as I concentrate on the floor, getting my head in the right space. “You ready?”
She doesn’t ask me what I'm thinking. Instead, she nods and agrees with a soft “yes.”
I finally bury that green monster by the time we get to the car. Helping her in, I shut the door and move around the front, climbing into the driver seat.
“You really do look handsome. I can’t believe I’m the lucky girl who gets to hang on your arm tonight.” Thankful she didn’t bring up my episode, we move past it. Tonight is about us and not bringing up any of our dirty laundry.
“That dress is going to look even more beautiful when you start showing. I can’t to see you with a bump.”
“Oh. Thank you.” When I peek over, she blushes, tucking her hair behind her ear, giving me a better view of her face. “I sometimes can’t believe I’m pregnant. Seeing my body change like this is different.”
“How so?” I implore, loving the way she is glowing with motherly pride.
“So far, it’s just my boobs. They’re overflowing my bras now. But I’m hyperaware of the baby. I can feel him, even though I’m not showing.”
“Him? How do we know it’s a him?”
She shrugs. “I just have a feeling.”
“I’ll bite. So, we’re having a boy huh?” A bolt of electricity passes through the car.
We.
We.
Kate and me.
We.
That is something I could say for years and years, day in and day out, and never tire of it. She felt it to. I know this when I look over at her and catch her eyes heavily focused on me.
“We. I love that. It sounds perfect,” she murmurs.
“Doesn’t it?” I add.
“Listen, I know tonight is about forgetting all the other things going on in our life. But I want you to know I never thought I would be here, in this place. With you. I’m heartbroken for his loss—” So, she did know I was jealous. She purposefully doesn’t say his name, and I curse myself for making her feel like she can’t express her feelings. I never want to silence her. Never again will Kate go silent and suffer in her pain alone. “—but I love you, and you make me feel so cherished. You make me want to be me again.”
“Always,” I say with gusto.
“So where are you taking me and the boy?” She changes gears, and I follow along without pause.
“Since we will be there soon, I'm taking us to the steakhouse on the coast, right by the peer.”
“Oh my God! The one with the dance floor just off the water? Nick!”
“Yes?” I chuckle at her enthusiasm.
“I’ve been dying to go there, but they are really hard to book.”
“I know. Pays to be the manager of today’s biggest rock band.” I wink.
“Eek!” She claps, and I flash back to Kate three years ago. It's not a big moment, just one where she is laughing without a care.
“I won’t lie, kitten. That is one hell of a sound to hear. Have I told you lately how incredibly strong and resilient you have been these past couple weeks?”
Her laugh dies down, a sweet yet a little somber look enveloping her face. “I’m trying. But sometimes there is a little guilt. But I really am looking forward to becoming a mother and to meeting Josie and hopefully gaining her love. I’m repairing and trying my hardest to get better. I want to. I have to.” That’s all she needs to say, and there isn’t anything I feel I can argue with. That is the most honest and strong thing she has said in the past few years. That and tonight isn’t supposed to be about anyone but us and the start to our life together.
I squeeze her hand as acknowledgment, and it’s all she needs as we roll into the parking spot just outside the restaurant. Leaving the car, I hurry to her side to open her door. She doesn’t protest. What a relief to not have to hear about her being independent enough to open her own damn door. Give and take, it seems. Kate is giving me the chance to be the type of man I am, and I’m letting her find herself again without too much interference. It’s refreshing.
“Holy fuck. My stomach just growled. Baby is starving. Can you smell that?” She comments on the smoked steak scent wafting from the restaurant, and I laugh.
“Yes, I take it you’ll be eating a lot tonight.”
“You bet your ass, handsome. Hope you brought your credit card; my appetite is wild.” Most women wouldn’t say those things, tending to be more reserved or ashamed to have a love for food, which is sad. I love a girl who can eat. But it’s not her appetite. It’s the way she expressed it. I wish I could keep a little notebook of all the times Kate shines through the field of shit she has endured the past few years. Better yet, I wish I could film it. It’s a breathtaking view from where I am.
“Move it, Amerson, or I’m going to ditch you and happily have my date with the dinner plate.” Her voice pulls me from my wayward thoughts, and I see she is now standing a few feet away from me on the sidewalk.
“All right! I’m coming, hungry. Settle yourself.” A few quick strides have me next to her, taking her hand in mine. I lead us in, ready for a night we both need.
Chapter Twenty-One
Kate
The delicious aroma spilling from the kitchen overstimulates my senses. One perk of pregnancy, food. Dear God, food has gained a whole new view from my side. Smells are more potent, taste is more mouthwatering, and I'm reveling in it. I’ve always loved food, but not this extreme. No complaints here though. I’m going to enjoy this until the very end.
We take our seats with a view of the waterline and the setting sun on the horizon. I watch that for a long while, only stopping to order my water with lemon, then resuming my focus on the sunset.
“You look gorgeous, baby,” Nick tells me, and suddenly the sunset view isn’t as pleasing as the view of my gorgeous boyfriend in a suit, sans the tie with three buttons undone, showing me a touch of his tan, muscular chest. His eyes sparkle with the orange hues of the sunset, and his sandy-blonde hair is slicked back, his crew cut hair the perfect style for him.
“Speak for yourself. I’ve never seen you so dressed up.” My thighs rub together when he smiles cockily, his tattooed fingers innocently playing with the condensation on his glass, but to me, they look expert and intentional.
“I need to match the part if I'm going to be standing next to you.” As he looks me up and down in that seductive way of his, my nipples pebble, and I look around us, making sure no one has taken notice of my very obvious arousal. I could eat him alive—another pregnancy perk. My arousal seems to grow more and more intense each day. And in just a few weeks, we will find out what we are having. I really think it’s a boy, and Nick doesn’t disagree.
“You’re doing that thing again, kitten, and we aren’t in a place where I can satiate that need. So look at the menu, order whatever you want, and save that heat for home.
Home. I may be blushing from him calling me on my lustful drooling over him. But I’m stuck on that word—home. Will it ever stop being a shock to my system? I lost my home in all sense of the word—my body lost its home, my heart did, and my soul. My parents pushed me away when I refused to leave the toxic relationship that was Eric. But a home always stood with Nick, and I may have neglected it, let the walls’ paint chip and the foundation crack just a bit, but slowly, we are rebuilding it, fixing all the broken pieces.
“Menu, kitten. Last time, or we won’t get to enjoy the dance floor.”
I bite my lip, shaking my head. I do as he commands but have an inner war with what food sounds the best. Salivating, I decide on the steak with mashed potatoes covered in some sort of fancy topping. Nick
orders the same.
“This place is really nice. And don’t think I didn’t hear you say you would dance tonight. I didn’t know you could.”
“I can slow dance, but I won’t be pop, locking, and dropping it or whatever.”
I laugh, the sound catching the look from other patrons, but instead of sneers, I receive smiles. I’ve always been told I have a contagious laugh. “Pop, lock, and drop it? Sometimes I forget you’re an old man.”
“Really?” He doesn’t look affronted. Instead, he looks amused. I bite my lip and nod. “You seem to like what this old man can do to you under the sheets. But I guess it’s subpar.” He takes a sip of his drink, and I know the game he’s playing.
But I won’t let him win this one. I bury that arousal and innate need for him.
“Don’t worry. I can teach you some new tricks.” I quirk my brow and tsk my tongue against the side of my teeth.
“I believe you begged me not to stop when I ate you like I was starved. Or was it, ‘Oh my God, Nick. Shit.’” His poker face doesn’t even slip.
I breathe in deep but attempt with all my strength to hold my composure. “It was for your ego. I was your cheerleader, didn’t want you to choke up and doubt your aged skills.”
That does it. The smallest snarl, nearly unnoticeable if I weren't watching him with such intensity.
“You're a bad little thing, Kate, and tonight I'll treat you like an old gentleman who takes his woman dancing under the stars. But when we get home, I'll show you just how aged my skills are.”
Touché. I moan unconsciously, biting my lip and reaching across the table, taking his hand and bringing it to my lips. “I was just teasing. I love you and everything you do to me in our bed. I’ve never felt that kind of…” I pause, searching for the right word.
“Pleasure. Passion. Heat. Desire. Want—you name it, baby.”
I nod, kissing his knuckles in sweet thanks. His pleasure is giving and selfless, reckless, and yet the most romantic touch I’ve ever had. We are lust but love, and passion but ravenous.
“All of the above. And that’s because of your experienced age, Nick Amerson.”
He growls, I whimper, and we attempt not to act out the thoughts running rampant in our minds.
We eat, sharing small talk about the food, the scenery, how Ben and the band are doing with their temporary tour manager. All things that are everything but Josie, the baby, and Eric. It’s a night for us to relax and prepare for our worlds to change. A much-needed one that I am thoroughly enjoying.
“All right, dinner is done, and that dance floor is calling for us. Let’s go.” Standing beside me, he holds out his hand, and I accept it, thrilled Nick is going to slow dance with me under the stars along the shore.
We take our place, the sounds of Louis Armstrong’s song “What a Wonderful World” starting.
“Did you ask them to play this?” I tease, swaying back and forth with Nick against me, my left hand in his, my other on his chest.
“No, that’s happenstance.”
I wait a moment, take in the feeling of his hand on my lower back, his warm body against me, the effortless sway we make together.
“It’s starting to feel wonderful. Normal again. Thank you so much for never giving up on me.”
“I couldn’t do that. You’re too precious a person to ever walk away from.”
“You’re just being extra kind.”
“No. Just honest.” The song switches to “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” and I mentally applaud the restaurant for their choice in music. A light breeze picks up around us, causing Nick to pull me in tighter.
“I’m excited, Nick. Can I say that? Does it sound absurd?”
Looking down at me, he brows furrow.
“No. Tell me what you’re excited for.”
“Us. This baby. Josie. Life is falling into place, and I didn’t think it was possible. It can sound cheesy, but I’ve spent a lot of my alone time lately reminiscing on all the good times we shared as friends.”
“Who, you and Eric?”
I shake my head, the question stinging a bit. I lost him, and it was brutal, but he is slowly becoming my past blessing that led me to my future. “No, with you. We built such a beautiful friendship over these years, and to be able to love my best friend….” Tears well a bit, but they don’t fall with great effort on my part. “I envied Sadie and Ben for the longest time; did you know that?”
He nods. “Don't we all? Those two are something special.”
“Not as special as us, in my eyes. I know I pushed, and I was torn between you and my past for a long time, but I hope you know how much I love you, Nick. I have my best friend as my lover, and we are about to create this life together. You are the only safe haven I’ve had.”
“Kitten,” he whispers. Is that a tear about to fall from his eye? I reach up when it finally starts to fall. Nick does not cry. That is not who he is. Life has thrown him around so much he has built thick, impenetrable skin. I wipe that tear away and kiss the underside of his jaw.
“We made it here, through fire and treacherous waters, but we made it, and I’m not afraid of this journey, because it's with you.”
“You're my best friend too. I couldn’t ever have this connection with anyone else. Never wanted. Never expected to find it or get lost in it. But I’m so damn thankful you changed that, baby.”
“Take me home. Take us home,” I whisper. As much as the night is still young and I could stay dancing in his arms, being enveloped and wrapped in one another as one, that is more pressing and needed.
“Lead the way, baby.”
Taking his hand, I lead us to our table, and he drops off some cash, enough to cover the bill and a generous tip, and then we’re gone.
The entire drive is overstimulating, better than foreplay. We share soft, intimate touches, whispers. By the time we’re in the house, I’m overwhelmed with desire, inflamed with red-hot passion for him. The second he shuts the door, he does something I was not expecting. Turning me around, he grabs the top of my dress, and with what seems like an effortless pull, he rips it down the middle.
I gasp. Oh my hell. “Nick.”
“I want to see your body. Do the rest of the work. Take off the bra and panties. Then I want you to walk slowly to our bedroom, put on a show for me.”
Nodding, I do just that, removing each article of clothing slowly and deliberately. He watches me, only removing his suit jacket. Rolling up his black sleeves, revealing some of his tattoos, I swear that look needs to be framed and shared all over the world.
“Now turn around. Let me watch those hips and that perfect little ass sway.”
Turning on wobbly legs heavy with arousal, I give him that show. One foot in front of the other, I stand on my toes and look over my shoulder as I go. My fingernails run along the hall wall, helping me balance.
He is walking slowly behind me, rubbing at his chin and taking in my body, running his gaze up and down then back again. My cheeks instantly heat. I feel like prey—lustful, exotic prey.
Each step brings the undoing of each button on his black shirt, exposing his muscular chest, rigid six-pack, and the most glorious V lined in veins.
My core clenches, aching for his thick, hard cock to invade and fuck me wildly.
“Climb on the bed, lie on your back, and drape your head over the edge,” he instructs when I enter the room. What are his plans?
“Yes.” There is no possible way I can form any other words right now. I’m wound far too tight, like that toy where you spin the handle then something pops out when you least expect it, leaving you a mess of nerves. That’s my orgasm. It’s waiting, building, and could release at any moment if he doesn’t stop teasing me.
I do as instructed, and when I’m in position, he stands behind my head, undoing his belt. It hits me then. I’ve never done this position before, but I’m no prude and know what he’s doing.
“You have to trust me, baby. We are going to test boundaries tonight and d
o things that may heighten your fear.” And with those words, his consideration and worry for my feelings and safety, that is all I need to let go and free all my inhibitions.
“Kiss me and tell me you love me.” I ask for the only thing I need to solidify my trust.
Getting on his knees, he gives me that, kissing me passionately and effortlessly, and how he does it upside down, I have no idea.
“I love you, kitten. No let your man take control.”
I nod, turning into his sweet touch, where he cups my cheek.
Standing, he steps back a foot and unbuckles, unbuttons, and slides down his pants. Biting my lip, I watch him, looking to his face then back to his erection that springs free when he removes all his clothing.
“I’m going to push my cock in your mouth slowly, but you have to relax and breathe through your nose. This position can make it a little harder.”
I nod, loving his controlled tone soothing me through this.
“Hold on to my forearm, and if it gets to be too much, tap three times, okay?”
“I can do that.”
“Good girl.” From this angle, his cock looks larger, and that seems impossible, since he’s already long and thick. “Open your mouth and take me in, inch by inch, okay? I will go slow. Remember, three times.”
Taking his forearm, I concede with a look. As I relax my jaw, his first velvety inch enters my mouth, sliding against the tip of my tongue.
“Fuck,” he moans. “That’s good, feels so damn good.”
I run my hand gently up and down his forearm, letting him know he can go a little deeper. Goose bumps rise on his arm under my touch.
Another inch, the feeling grows more intense. I keep breathing through my nose as best as I can.
Another inch, the smooth skin of his cock gliding against my tongue. “I’m going to do a couple more inches at a time, baby. Three taps,” he says through gritted teeth, doing his best to stay calm and collected. I rub his arm again.
With that, he slowly glides far enough in until he hits the back of my throat, my eyes growing watery as I try not to choke and gag.
