By the Horns

by Rachael Slate

  “But—your—vows,” she panted between his heated kisses.

  “I made them. I can unmake them and make them again. I’m not a damn monk. Besides,” the corners of his lips quirked, “if my body isn’t the one receiving pleasure, technically, I’m not breaking any vow.”

  She groaned. “Leave it to you to find a loophole.”

  Oh, hell. She didn’t have any more arguments, not while his warm fingers slid along the bottom hem of her towel, caressing the skin on the backs of her thighs.

  His lips paved a path down her throat while he tugged on her towel. The flimsy cloth surrendered, pooling at her feet.

  He dipped his hand between her legs and rubbed his calloused fingertips over her clit. She moaned and arched into his big palm. As he sank to his knees, her legs quivered in anticipation.

  “So bloody beautiful,” he murmured, nudging her thighs apart with his hands.

  She closed her eyes. Being exposed to Kassian was different. Unlike her previous lovers, he took his time, admiring her. Stroking her with one finger and flipping his gaze up to peruse her expression.

  He touched her like a man determined to remember every second.

  “Watch me, Nat,” his deep voice rumbled in warning, his Aussie accent thick. She lifted one eyelid in compliance.

  The corner of his mouth tugged in satisfaction. He leaned forward and glided his tongue across her clit. She jolted at the intimacy, but moaned as his lips kissed and sucked, his tongue flicking with masterful expertise.

  Her legs buckled as the orgasm built, tightening her sheath. A few more strokes of his tongue, and she exploded. A cry trilled from her mouth. Her knees gave. Kassian scooped her into his arms, dimple flashing in masculine glory.

  She’d come for him hard and fast. No denying it. He held her like putty in his hands.

  And he damn well knew it.

  ***

  Kassian’s body was ready to explode. Nat had imploded from his touch. Every doubt clouding his mind cleared. This attraction between them was real. She couldn’t refute it. Or disguise it.

  Couldn’t hide her feelings or hide from him anymore.

  He…well, he forgave her everything. Their past. The hurt and anger. Nat couldn’t do anything to make him regret being with her.

  Despite his confidence, he wasn’t about to jump into bed with her. His head had definitely been clear as he’d pleasured her, but that didn’t mean he was certain they had a future together. That he wouldn’t return to his vows, and she to her Lotus career. But if they had even a slim chance at a relationship, it would require time to grow. The seed of trust had to be cultivated—on both sides.

  He licked his lips and savored the taste of her. Sweet and perfumed. He’d never forget it. He hadn’t touched a woman in years and, yet, Nat had orgasmed hard.

  Damn, he still had it.

  He stroked the back of his hand down the side of her face. Her wide, questioning eyes demanded answers from him.

  Was he convinced she should remain a Chosen? Nope. He had no argument against it, either. What he wanted was to hold Nat in his arms all night long and never let her go.

  He combed his fingers through the damp locks on either side of her head, then kissed the top of her head and down her forehead to her nose. He hovered above her lips before pressing a kiss to them as well.

  Tugging off his towel, he tossed it aside and nudged Nat to lie down on his bunk. He settled above her, braced his weight on one arm, and swept a hand through her hair. While he gazed at her, he dragged the sheet between them because he wouldn’t ruin this fragile bud of trust with acts that pushed them both too far too fast.

  He knew Nat. He’d rushed her once and she’d disappeared for years. His jaw clenched. That bloody text. Though his cock was hard and ready, Nat’s tense body told him she wasn’t. He wouldn’t risk demanding too much too soon again. Even when he’d benched his heart years ago, the organ had refused to leave the game. Despite their role-playing, what grew between him and Nat wasn’t an act. He’d pace this slow. They’d figure out if there was any chance of them being together.

  His brain begged him not to take the plunge again without some hint of reciprocation on her part. And his heart, well, his heart might already be fucked. But before he gave up his world for her, he had to be sure she’d relinquish the same.

  He laid his head beside hers and inhaled the sweet perfume of her hair, sighing against her neck and calming his erection.

  Would she be worth the trade of giving up his vows? Only time would tell.

  “Good night, Natalie,” he murmured against her soft skin and drifted off.

  ***

  Kassian awoke, but Nat wasn’t beside him. Not in his arms, not tucked into his side. He frowned at the loss of intimacy. Why had she left him? The hairs on the back of his neck pricked. Her desertion reminded him too much of the last time he’d taken a leap with her by his side only to land at the bottom alone.

  After tugging on a pair of pants, Kassian wandered to the top deck. Ox’s senses helped him search for Nat—nostrils flared for her scent, ears strained for her heartbeat. He rotated and caught sight of her long auburn hair blowing in the wind.

  Hmm. What the fuck was she up to? He didn’t announce himself. Instead, he spied on the spy.

  Nat extended her hands into the air and a bird landed on her open palms.

  Damn. Who the hell used homing birds? Oh, yeah. The Matchmaker. Bitch.

  Nat plucked a small parchment scroll from the pigeon’s leg before releasing it into the air. The bird flew away, squawking.

  Only one reason existed for the Matchmaker to use a pigeon instead of a text. She didn’t want her message to be traced. What could be so important? He had to find out what was on that note.

  Nat read the message and clasped the paper in her hands. A second later, she tore it in half.

  Fuck.

  The wind kicked up and blew the two halves around in a swirl. Nat stormed off in the opposite direction, so Kassian snuck forward and snatched one piece. The other swirled on the breeze before he could grab it.

  He squinted at the paper.

  Don’t lose y—

  He crumpled the note in his fist. His mind conjured one completion of the sentence.

  Don’t lose your heart.

  Bloody Matchmaker. Every hopeful notion he’d had last night shattered. Nat was a Lotus. Even if she cared for him, even if she wanted to be with him, the Matchmaker would never permit her.

  She owned Nat and she wasn’t about to let Nat forget it.

  How could he compete with the person who owned Nat’s soul? The sad answer? He and Nat had been destined to crash and burn from the start.

  If they could go back in time, maybe they would’ve had a chance. The second Nat had signed her fate away, they’d lost that chance.

  The intimacy between them was just a ruse. A mission. Like every other to her. Even if she cared for him, she’d never act on her feelings. In the end, she would leave him. Again.

  He’d survived losing his heart to her once. A second time, he wouldn’t be so lucky.

  Yet his gut told him…it might already be too late.

  ***

  Nat stomped down the length of the ship’s deck. She might call the Matchmaker a friend but, hell, the woman was meddlesome. So far, she’d done nothing but pluck at Nat’s strings.

  Nat was fine with that. She’d signed up for this life. It was the Matchmaker’s interference with her heartstrings that irked Nat.

  The woman’s pesky reminder didn’t make things any better. Worse, the Matchmaker’s words didn’t hint at what she concluded about this entire situation… Or how the hell she had known about the situation.

  Really? The morning after a night like that with Kassian was when the Matchmaker chose to send her little note?

  Don’t lose your focus.

  Like Nat was an amateur. She snorted. My focus is just fine, thank you very much.

  Either the woman had uncanny timing, a
sixth sense, or she’d spied on Nat and Kassian. Nat ruled out the spying. Although it was a possibility, eavesdropping wasn’t the Matchmaker’s style.

  Nat halted at the stern of the ship. The wind whipped her loose hair around her face, so she brushed the stray strands aside and tied her locks in a ponytail. As she tugged the elastic tight, she gazed out into the endless, undulating ocean.

  A dark blob bobbed in the distance. She squinted. No, not a blob. A ship. She tensed and hoped it was another cargo vessel, not a visitor.

  Male voices boomed from mid-deck. She hurried toward them. Price and Kassian pointed into the distance as they conversed. “What is it? What’s going on?”

  “Follow me.” Price led them to the observation deck. The small, enclosed glass post had a clear view of the ship, headed in the opposite direction of their vessel.

  Price closed the door, shutting out the rush of the wind and water, and encasing them in tomb-like silence. He waved for her and Kassian to sit on the bench facing the open water while he scooted over on a stool. “It’s mirrored glass. No one will be able to see inside. We’re free to observe.” He handed them each a pair of binoculars. “I’m going to check things out from another vantage point.”

  “Okay, thanks.” She nodded at Price as he withdrew from the cabin.

  Kassian didn’t glance in her direction as he passed the binoculars to her. Funny. He hadn’t greeted her either. Not even after what they’d done together the night before?

  Her pride took the blow and her spine stiffened. If he regretted last night, she’d not be the one to bring it up. She was an expert at shoving things behind her—and into the past—where she didn’t have to deal with them.

  “What is that ship?”

  “Fuck me.” Kassian peered through his binoculars, lowered them and squinted, then brought the binoculars back to his face.

  “What?” Her impatience augmented, twisting her insides.

  “Mei.” He whispered her name as though Monkey might hear him.

  Nat jerked her focus to the ship’s deck and looked through her binoculars. A smaller vessel approached the larger cargo ship and anchored near its side. Three figures climbed aboard using the ladder. She scanned the scene. Two men and a young woman crossed the deck to stand beside the dozens of stacked crates.

  A sailor from the cargo ship met the newcomers and, after a quick nod, left them alone with the shipment. The three went straight to work, cracking open the crates and tossing the vaccine overboard.

  Her stomach lurched as the glinting vials sailed into the ocean. Kassian’s white knuckles gripped the binoculars in his lap, the metal creaking. A tic worked his jaw, outlining the grim set of his mouth.

  “Why are they doing that? Why is she—”

  “Don’t.” He cleared his throat. “Just don’t.” His voice still came out hoarse.

  She frowned back at the ship. Mei used Monkey’s sharp claws to peel open the crates. The claw marks they’d noted earlier weren’t a fluke.

  Nothing made sense. Mei had engineered the vaccine. From what the others had told Nat, Mei was damn proud of the accomplishment. She’d also joined Zhao’s posse. The only reasoning? Mei had no choice. She’d been thrown in as a mole. As such, she had to play along—or die. Nat had been in that position before, many times. Besides, Snake’s instincts confirmed her conclusions. Everything in her gut told her Mei was playing the part.

  Kassian’s hardened features indicated he didn’t register the circumstances. He’d concluded one thing—betrayal.

  Nat tried to soften the blow. “Kassian, look. Really look at her. That’s not the Mei you know, right? She’s a mole, and if she doesn’t follow orders, she’ll be found out.”

  “She was supposed to be kidnapped by them. Not fucking working with them.”

  She huffed. “She wouldn’t get anywhere by playing the victim. They’d keep her locked in a cell. She’d never be able to infiltrate their layers and dig up the real dirt. If it costs a few crates of the vaccine—”

  “Oh, hell no, you didn’t. A few crates?” His words grated and his hands fisted even tighter. “She knows the route of the cargo ships. She didn’t have to give them that. Something else. Anything else. Would Mrs. Chen agree with you?”

  Nat stiffened and bit back the sharp reprimands jabbing into her brain. Kassian was hurt and lashing out. Fighting him wouldn’t settle this. She had to convince him Mei was doing the right thing.

  She exhaled long and slow. “You have to trust her. Even when it seems she’s broken your trust.”

  “Oh.” He shoved to his feet beside her. “Easy for you to say. Your life is one big lie. Mei’s wasn’t. She was innocent, and if she’s become like you?” His lip curled in a sneer.

  She winced at the stab of his words, but brushed them off. His low opinion of her stung, but she owned who she was. “You’re right.” Standing, she straightened her spine. “I use deception all the time, but I use my skills against the bad guys, not the good. I don’t deceive anyone who doesn’t deserve it. I do it all, everything, to protect the people who need me. I might never even know their names, but I own who I am. That’s something you can’t say about yourself.” She poked his hard pecs.

  His nostrils flared and Ox cloaked him. Kassian’s quick temper sparked like a sizzling fuse. She braced for the detonation. After a minute of glaring at her, chest heaving, he glowered at the ship instead.

  She exhaled in relief. Whew.

  She’d narrowly missed being gored.

  Kassian clenched and unclenched his fists, struggling to bring his temper under control. His mind churned over Nat’s words, and he kept tripping on one tiny nagging conclusion.

  Was he upset at Mei’s deception…or Nat’s?

  He stared across to where the three bandits completed their task. Those floating, bobbing vials would be swept out to open water, or caught in the currents and smashed against the shore. The hard work their Kongsi did back at the lab would be for nothing. No lives saved. More people would get sick. More people would die. How could Mei live with that?

  Part of him was desperate to remove Mei from the bloody ship. Who cared if he broke her cover? He’d have her back, safe at Kek Lok Si. The Matchmaker could find another damn sacrificial lamb.

  His mind wandered back to Nat’s other jab. That he wasn’t being honest with himself. What the fuck? He owned his vows. They brought him clarity.

  Right?

  Fucking right.

  He’d had a temporary lapse in judgment about wanting to be intimate with Nat, but after her comments, the moment had passed. It wouldn’t be anything more than one night with her. He refused to live with that deal.

  He released a breath, long and slow. Beside him, Nat stared out the window, but she didn’t appear to be focused on anything. He shifted his attention to the cargo ship. Mei had unloaded most of her vials. He pressed his lips together.

  “I know it hurts you to see her like this.” Nat sighed. “You have to trust her.”

  He jolted as her warm hand slipped into his. A peace offering from Nat? Or was she playing him? How could he believe someone who was never herself? Regardless, he squeezed her hand. The two males on the cargo ship climbed back onto their small vessel. Mei followed them, but as she spun to slap the last lid on the top crate, her hand shifted behind her back.

  Mei flipped him the bird.

  “Holy fuck.”

  Nat gasped at the same time he cursed. Mei sensed they were spying!

  He exchanged a shocked glance with Nat, and by the time he refocused on the ship, Mei had climbed onto the smaller vessel. It took off at a high clip, bounding through the waves.

  The cargo ship carried onward with its empty crates. He cut his gaze from the fading ship and searched Nat’s expression. What did that mean?

  “No.” She slid her hand from his and paced the tiny cabin. “The others with her didn’t detect us. The signal from Mei—”

  “You mean her telling us to fuck off?” He shook his he
ad at Nat’s delicate interpretation of the situation.

  “Well, it was the clearest gesture. She probably sensed Ox’s anxiety and had to tell you to back off. Hey.” She snatched his arm as he made to storm out the door. “Aren’t you the one who declared Mei to be a freaking genius? I bet she has a plan in place and is afraid you’ll screw it up.”

  The door banged as Price strode into the cabin. “So what’s the game plan? Should we trail the motorboat back to its origins?”

  “We won’t be able to match their speed or maintain our anonymity.” Nat shook her head and planted her hands on her hips. “Let Mei go. We should report this to the Matchmaker and let her decide.”

  Price crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe. His blue eyes narrowed as if he contemplated Nat’s plan. He whistled low. “Well, if that’s what you choose.”

  “It bloody well isn’t,” Kassian grumbled.

  “If you have a better plan—one that won’t get Mei harmed—I’m listening.” Nat tapped her fingers on her hips.

  “How about we grab a lifeboat and follow them while Price reports to the woman upstairs?”

  “That would work too.” Price grinned.

  Hmm. The man might grow on him.

  “Okay, fine.” Nat tossed her hands. “We maintain a sizeable distance and pull off if anything seems suspect.”

  He nodded. “After Price informs the Matchmaker, we’ll follow her instructions.”

  “Okay.” She huffed her acquiescence. “Price, where’s the boat?”

  ***

  After they’d retrieved their duffle and hopped into the small motorboat, Price lowered Nat and Kassian into the water. Mei’s vessel had a huge lead on them. Nat doubted they’d be able to catch up or even maintain a decent tail, but getting into the boat seemed to calm Kassian. He sat in the back, steering and glaring at the horizon with a fierce determination.

  Scratch that. They would catch up. At this speed, the boat nosedived from one wave to the next. The vessel wasn’t made to handle this rough water, so each bounce rattled Nat’s bones. Salty spray whipped around them, making conversation impossible.