He gathered me close. My forehead fell to his chest, my body even weaker in the strength of his embrace. I wanted to disappear in his arms, to curl up into a protected little ball and forget the rest of the world. But I worried that wouldn’t be enough to stave off the kind of pain that plagued me now.
“Please,” I begged, praying Cameron would take pity on me.
“I’ll make it go away, okay?” he whispered, pushing the hair away from my tear-stained face. “Just stay with me.”
I looked up at him, desperate and so very lost. He held my cheek. His arm wrapped possessively around my waist.
“I want you, Maya. Your heart may be broken, but I still want it. And I may not deserve it, but I’ll wait for it, as long as I need to. In the meantime, I’m here. For tonight, let this be enough, just you and me.”
I exhaled a jagged breath and his mouth was on me, inhaling my relief. He kissed my lips, my cheeks, my eyelids, his fingertips tracing his path. Angling over me, he cradled my face in his palm, commanding me with his kiss. I responded the way he knew I would, hungry for the sweet taste of his tongue. We tangled and tasted, seeking more of each other until we were both breathless.
“Maya?” He pulled back, his eyes dark and serious. “Let me be the place you go to forget and wash it all away. I can take you there. I know I can, because nothing has ever made me feel the way I do when we’re together. No drink, no woman…no rush, risk, or cheap high does what being with you does. I want to make love to you until we can’t remember who we are. I want you drunk on nothing but us tonight.”
My heart beat loudly, a steady reminder of how I loved him, a state of being well beyond my control now. The picture he painted, I wanted that. I wanted to forget everything that had brought me so low and start over with him. I longed for the words that only our bodies could speak, for the force of a physical connection that might transcend everything that had come between us.
A simple nod was all I could manage before he lifted and lowered me to the bed. He covered me with the warm heaviness of his body. The relief was almost instant. My limbs weakened in his embrace. He kissed me, nipping and licking my lips apart, seeking my tongue and sucking gently. I moaned, my hips responding beyond my control.
He rose, unfastened my jeans, and pulled them down my legs. I sat up and tugged off my shirt, reaching next for his. He kicked off his jeans and came to me quickly, claiming my mouth.
My hands were restless. I grazed the muscles that bunched and released as he moved over me. I arched. I wanted him closer still. Impossibly close, until he was inside me, making me his. His hot skin burned against me, the twining of our bodies hungry with need. The sensations crept over me until my head was spinning with desire. The piercing pain of my reality ebbed, faded into the darkening room, until there was only Cameron.
“I love you.” The words fell from my lips before I knew what I was saying, what it meant, what I was giving up with the admission.
He slowed, his lips barely touching mine. The look in his eyes—intense and full of all the love I felt in that moment—branded me.
“I’ve waited a long time for that.”
“I was scared. I still am. I’m so afraid you’re going to leave, that you’re going to break me. Saying it...it’s like giving you the last little piece of me, the part that I can’t afford to give anyone.”
I paused, frozen with a fleeting apprehension that quickly disappeared. He caught my cheek and leveled our gazes.
“Someone could drag me to hell, and I’d crawl back to you, Maya, for a chance to make right everything that was ever wrong between us. Even I can’t tell you what’s happening with us. I’ve never felt this way. But believe me when I tell you I’m not going anywhere. I swear to you.”
With a sharp exhale, he crushed his mouth against mine. I moaned into the kiss, meeting his fervency, his love, his commitment. The way he kissed me was deep, devouring, as if he’d had his own demons seeking release.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CAMERON. I tried in vain to slow down. I moved over her, tasting every inch of her. Her hands fisted and released anxiously by her sides. Her body shifted eagerly below me, a reflection of the longing that coursed through me too. I battled with it, wanting to take my time and love her slowly.
“Maya,” I murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear to gain better access to the sensitive skin below it and unfettered access to her neck. I reveled in the smallest reactions of her body. The way goose bumps raced across her skin when I was there, sucking and licking, breathing her name over and over, like a mantra, like an echo in a dream. She shivered. I pulled her closer, wanting to give her all the warmth and comfort she desired.
Seeing her so upset had overwhelmed me. I wanted to banish the memories and the circumstances beyond her control that gave her an ounce of unhappiness. I wanted to flood her darkness with light, with love. I rolled the word around in my head, analyzing what it meant in the context of having the only woman I’d ever loved in my bed again, in my arms, opening her heart and body to me.
Her shaking hands skimmed over my shoulders and down my chest. I caught them and kissed her fingertips. Then I bent to her, grasping her breast before sucking the tip into my mouth. Pulling them into long taut points, I teased each peak with my tongue and my teeth until she cried out and her thighs tightened fiercely around my hips.
I moved to kiss her shoulders, all the way up her neck to her ear, enticing more tiny shivers from her. She gripped my waist, urging me closer. I wanted to bury myself in her. My patience was waning.
“Are you on the pill?”
She blinked rapidly, as if she needed to regain her focus to answer the question. “Yeah.”
I grazed her throat with my hand, pausing a second over the steady pulse at her neck. I moved south until my fingers crept to the top of her thighs, teasing down over the soft cotton of her panties where she was soaked through for me. With a little pressure she reacted, bucking into my hand. I slid the fabric to the side and slipped my fingers through her moist folds. She gripped my arm and gasped when I pushed inside her. My cock ached to be there, ravaging her. I’d be there soon.
“I want to be here, Maya, coming inside you...”
“I’ve always been safe, Cam. You’re the only one.”
I kissed her hard, swallowing her promise. She moaned, arching into my chest. I trusted her, and she trusted me to bring her through this.
Trust, the benevolent warrior fighting the misgivings that had plagued us, pulsed between us now. Trust and this love that even she could no longer deny perhaps was the bridge that would take us from who we were to who we’d become. Maybe it could be enough to undo all the hurt we’d caused one another.
“I want to make love to you, but you need to tell me if it’s too much right now.”
“I need too much.” She ran her fingers up my chest, shifted her body against me, charging my already full erection further. “I need this. Make me forget everything. All I want is this moment between us. Make it last as long as we can.”
I caught her mouth, kissing her tenderly. A small moan hummed through her tiny frame as I licked her tongue, sucking softly, and then deeper, exploring her mouth. When she opened her eyes, her half-lidded gaze met my own. My heart twisted painfully.
“I could kiss you like this forever. You’re so sweet and soft.” I brushed my knuckles over the blush of her cheek that grew darker with the words.
“I’m going to need something stronger than a kiss.”
I laughed quietly. I tugged off her panties, lowered, and wasted no time pressing into her. Anxious, I wanted to sheath her in one fierce thrust. But I wanted to experience every second of this decadent moment, draw it out as she pulled me deeper.
And she felt amazing, warm and snug around me, the only place I’d ever wanted to be.
I’d wanted this from the beginning, but we’d had too many hurdles between us to broach the subject of our sexual histories before. It was almost worth avoiding alt
The mere thought of her being with other men filled me with a fiery jealousy. In a rash need to claim her for myself, I rooted deeply, as deep as I’d ever been. She gasped. Every muscle tensed, locking me to her. When my eyes went to her, her mouth had fallen open, harsh breath heaving her chest. Her lip quivered. She pulsed around my cock as I held myself deep within her.
“You okay?”
“God yes.”
“Did I hurt you?”
“It’s impossible for you to hurt me. You know my body too well. You always have.”
I released some tension, though I was still coiled tight, ready to spring into loving her passionately.
“This is what I want, Maya. Nothing between us.”
“This is what I want too. I want you, us. Please don’t stop.”
She dug her nails into my ass and I jerked against her, spurring the first of a series of thrusts that had her unraveling quickly in my arms. The rush of pleasure took hold quickly.
“Cam, oh God.”
The way she was clenched down around me, slick and yet possessive, I couldn’t stop. Instead I sped up, driving deep, the delicious friction between us taking us both out of our minds. We came together, an explosion of heat and riotous emotion. I jetted inside her. I cursed, marking her as I held her hips firmly in place.
I wanted to fill her, to possess her fully this way always. In my mindless state I dared to imagine that time hadn’t come between us. What could this feel like, to come inside her with the hope that we could make a life between us, with this love? A love that was growing stronger by the day, rooting itself in our lives despite all the doubts.
I exhaled heavily and rested over her. Crazy thoughts. Falling in love with her this time around was taking hold of me in different ways. The thought was intoxicating, if severely premature.
She sagged beneath me, catching her breath. I thrust again gently and she contracted, her delicious grip rippling over me. I was wrecked and still hard, but I hadn’t meant to come so soon. I had plans to do a lot more.
I pulled out and lay on my side next to her, our bodies touching. Her head fell to the side to gaze at me. All noticeable signs of worry and her earlier stress had vanished.
“That was incredible.”
My lips curved into a wry smile. “I’m just getting started.”
I ran a flat palm over her breasts and her belly, and then lower. She quivered when I touched her. I tucked my knee under her thighs as they fell apart. I nudged them farther until she was spread for me.
Sifting through her soft curls, I traced the seam of her pussy. She was wet, dripping with my release. I bit my lip. My cocked surged to life quickly, the ache in my balls returning with the need to do it all over again. I resisted, holding her in a heated stare while my fingers found their mark. I stroked through the lips of her sex, teasing the soft inner flesh until I was inside her again. Curving carefully into her wet heat, I found her G-spot and gave it gentle rub. She jerked at the slightest touch.
“What are you doing to me?”
I withdrew, putting my thumb to work over and around her clit. Then slid inside again, teasing her inside and out. “I’m going to make you lose count of the ways I make you come tonight.”
Her whimpers and the erotic sound of the rapid penetration into her wetness were the only noises around us. Her skin, slick with sweat, heated against me. She shifted and squirmed, like she might wriggle free in her increasing restlessness. I lifted to my elbow and lowered over her, pressing her back down with a hard kiss. I pumped harder, more vigorously and with less restraint, until she came apart. Our lips broke contact and her loud throaty cry filled the room as she seized around me.
When I withdrew she was shaking, her limbs draped boneless across the bed. I might have taken mercy on her then, but I was hard and ready for her again. I was going to fuck her until she begged me to stop.
“One more, baby. Can you get up on your knees?”
Her eyebrows rose slightly. “No fucking way. I can’t move. Who are you, Hercules?”
I laughed and turned her to the side, spooning her from behind.
“I’m not letting you off that easy.”
I kissed over the dark designs down her back, her shoulders, the long line of her neck. Then I drove into her again. As limp as she’d felt a second ago, she was tight around me now.
I withdrew slowly, mesmerized by the vision of feeding my cock into her again. Her skin flushed all the way up her back. Tiny circles reddened her hips where I’d marked her. I became impossibly harder at the sight of them. I thrust deep, relentlessly taking our bodies where we desperately wanted to go, again and again.
“Love the way you feel. I’ll never get tired of this, being this close to you, Maya,” I rasped into her ear. I breathed her in, savoring every part of this moment together.
“You’re so deep.” She covered my arm as I wrapped it around her, drawing her against me. Her pussy was still tight from her orgasms, still responding when I drove in her.
Inspired, I slammed harder. Her breath caught in a strangled moan. She shifted her hips and leaned away so I was able to go deeper, until I was certain I was hitting the very heart of her.
I rooted, again and again, driving steadily, chasing my own desire. I was lost in her, never wanting this closeness between us to end. I was so ramped up I could almost taste it. She’d be sore tomorrow, but I didn’t care.
I was taking her past her boundaries tonight and losing my own damn mind in the process. I grabbed the meat of her ass in my hand, assessing the ample flesh there. From this vantage—and all others for that matter—it was fucking perfect.
I gave it a hard smack, watching at the print of my hand surfaced in a pink outline. She cried out pressed back against me, her pussy crushing down around me. I smacked her again, driving deep as I did. She cried out, a thready wavering sound. Her outstretched hands grabbed fistfuls of the sheet.
“Come, Maya. Give me everything.”
She fell apart with a broken cry, her body rigid in a state of perpetual climax, taking me down with her. I burst inside her. An almost painful release matched the tight fist of hers. I held us there, joined, wasted, until we slipped into sleep.
When I woke, the room was dark save for the moonlight pouring into the window. We’d fallen asleep this way, our bodies tangled. I think. I couldn’t remember falling asleep. I rubbed my eyes, reminding myself that I hadn’t been drunk but the night was hazy. Flashes of everything we’d done flooded my mind. I don’t think I’d ever fucked a woman quite as thoroughly as I’d fucked Maya tonight. If she hadn’t been completely out of her mind with desire, I sure as hell was. We’d damn near blacked out afterwards. If that didn’t rival a night of heavy drinking, I didn’t know what could.
My eyes adjusted to the darkness. Maya was curled beside me. Her body seemed small and peaceful in the quiet of the night. I turned down the covers and carefully positioned her closer to me, covering her up as I did. She hummed and reached for me, nuzzling into my chest, her skin cool on my own. I wrapped my arms around her, cocooning her until her own body heat emanated against me.
I brushed her hair back, staring in wonder. Despite everything that had gone on between us these past weeks, I was still amazed that she’d come back into my life at all. Like a wish that I hadn’t realized I’d been making for so long had finally been granted. I’d never been so deeply grateful for it until tonight.
Tonight, something had changed. Somewhere between fucking her and loving her and not giving her anyplace else to run, I’d found the soul of the girl I knew. Underneath the crutches and the don’t-give-a-shit attitude, she was there—my Maya.
Any concerns I’d had about the emotional risks of falling for Maya again were quickly brushed aside by the fear of what might become of her if she kept on this way. Deep down she needed me as fiercely as I needed her. Knowing that she did bound me to her in a way that I’d never felt before. I was going to put her back together. I’d unbreak everything I’d broken and bring her back to me if it was the last thing I did.
MAYA. We pulled up to my apartment. The car idled, but I couldn’t bring myself to get out. Too much had happened between us on our brief trip. He’d peeled back a layer of my life that I’d always kept hidden. In the small room of that house, in a nowhere town so far outside the buzz of city, my universe had tilted. I stared out the window at the snow-covered rails leading up to my brownstone apartment, and somehow, none of it seemed real.
“Stay with me.”
I turned to face Cameron, questioning him with a look.
“Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t want to be away from you right now. I feel like you’re going to disappear on me or something. The very thought of it is driving me a little crazy. Give me some peace of mind and come stay with me for a while.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I promised.
“Prove it.”
“But your parents are visiting. I’ll be intruding.”
“They left. Darren texted me that the coast was clear. There’s Olivia, but she’s usually pretty good about keeping to herself. And she’s going to have to get used to the idea of you being around anyway, so we might as well break her in now.”
“I don’t want to cause problems, Cam.”
He laughed, his eyes glittering. “Well, you do. You’re a royal pain in the ass.”
I scoffed, slapping his shoulder. “You’re no picnic either.”
He caught my hand, giving it a meaningful squeeze. “I know that. I was only half joking. Come stay with me, though. I miss you already. It’s kind of pathetic.”
His lips quirked up into a smile and my heart melted. I sighed. I didn’t want to say goodbye any more than he did.
“I don’t have to be at work for a couple days anyway. Let me pack a bag and I’ll be back down in a few minutes.”
I turned to leave when he pulled me back, tugging me closer until I was nearly on his side of the car. He pressed a kiss to my lips, his hold both warm and possessive.
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