“I love you.”
“I love you too,” I breathed. My head buzzed, my limbs tingled with delicious warmth, as if I’d been given a dose of something strong. The usual attraction between us was now amplified with the full out admission that we were falling hopelessly in love with each other again. My body and brain’s reactions were almost more than I could handle.
When he finally released me, I rushed upstairs to pack, a stupid smile on my face. I gave Eli the briefest of updates, which ended in a kind of hopeless shrug that he seemed to understand.
We drove back to Cameron’s place. With no sign of Olivia, we settled in. He made us a late lunch and showed me around the building, pointing out all the improvements he and Olivia had made over the past few weeks. It really had come along since the last time I’d been there, and as much as I begrudged Olivia for personal reasons, she’d been a positive force in his world since arriving. In the spirit of moving forward with Cameron with an open heart and a lot more hope than I’d given us before, I harbored a little optimism that Olivia and I could find a way around our differences.
“Everything looks great. This is so much space for the two of you though, isn’t it? Won’t she get her own place eventually?”
“I’m sure she will. I guess I was thinking about the future. I haven’t written off the idea of sharing my home with someone yet.”
My cheeks heated a little. “It’s a lot even for two people. For New York, this is an enormous living space.”
He nodded and bit his lip. “Families can get big, you know.”
My breath caught. Oh, fuck. He was talking about us. Maybe his little talk with Ruthie hadn’t been senile banter. I shifted my weight nervously from side to side.
“Thinking a little far ahead, aren’t we?”
He shrugged, and a little smile turned up his lips. We didn’t say anything more about it as we finished the tour and returned to the safe haven of the upstairs apartment.
“So I have to head into the gym tonight, make sure Darren hasn’t burned the place down or something.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “He’s a fire fighter.”
“It’s a known fact that all fire fighters are pyromaniacs. He can’t be trusted. Anyway, come with me.”
“You don’t want me moping around there. I’ll be bad for business.”
He laughed. “Nonsense. I won’t know what to do with myself if you aren’t there bitching about the routine I’m giving you.”
“You’re going to make me workout?”
He flashed a mischievous grin. “Yup. Get dressed.”
I rolled my eyes and groaned. “Fine.”
He swatted my ass as I turned.
I shot him a weak glare. “What was that for?”
“I recently realized how much I like spanking your ass, and when you say snarky shit, it kind of gives me the perfect excuse to.”
I pursed my lips. “I’m not sure I like the sound of that.”
“Oh, I do.” He wrapped an arm around my waist, spinning me so we were chest-to-chest. His mouth was close, his soft breath dancing on my lips. All kinds of dark meaning shadowed his eyes. “I like the sound of my palm slapping your ass. And I like the sounds you make when I do it too.”
I sucked in a sharp breath, heat rising to my cheeks. “All right, you’ve effectively coerced me into wanting to go to the gym.” I disengaged from his hold and gave him a much-needed push before my sex brain took over and let him start acting on these deviant threats.
CAMERON. The gym was fairly quiet. Raina was gone too, with yoga classes being off the schedule until the new year. I was glad for that. I hadn’t had a chance to talk to Raina much about Maya, but I would if it meant quelling her concerns about what kind of relationship we had. The line I’d drawn with Raina to keep things professional would have to be redrawn. I’d let her flirt before, figuring it was harmless. That wouldn’t fly anymore.
I was doing crunches on the mat while Maya killed some time on the treadmill. Darren came into view as I rose.
“Hey,” I said, sitting up.
“Way to bail on us for Christmas, man. That one will go down in the history books, for sure.”
I cringed, regret hitting me in a way it hadn’t when Olivia was spewing her threats over the phone at me.
“Things with Maya got, I don’t know, intense, I guess. I didn’t want to leave her alone and I figured you and Liv could hold things down with Mom and Dad. How bad was it?”
Darren blew out a breath. “Uh, pretty unbearable. More than usual, I suppose, because they were freaking out about you not being there. It basically amplified all the usual awkward shit. So yeah.”
I had to see them at some point. I’d been able to avoid them for nearly a year. I’d had a lot on my plate, but beyond that, no time ever felt right. Our time felt awkward and forced, and even without seeing them, I knew it’d be the same. I’d spent three years watching life and death play out in the desert, letting days of my life slip by. I couldn’t justify wasting another day pretending to be the son they wanted me to be or apologizing that I wasn’t. But for Darren and Olivia’s sake, I’d have to step up next time.
“Sorry. I owe you one.”
“Awesome, because they’re coming back for New Year’s. You’re taking that shift. I’ve got a date.”
“With who?”
“Not sure, but I’ll have one, trust me. And don’t fucking give me that look. You owe me one, like you said.”
I sighed inwardly, hating that I had to deliver on my promise so soon. “Fine.”
“Anyway, what’s up with Maya? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s good now. Really good.”
“Cool. I’m glad to hear it.”
“All right, I’m heading out for a while. I’ll catch you tomorrow.”
“Sounds good.”
He walked off and I finished up, eager to find Maya.
We took a long walk, which ended at a bakery near the park. I’d promised her chocolate if she finished an extra set of crunches. She reluctantly agreed and I’d made a mental note to bribe her with chocolate in the future.
We stepped into the tiny bakery, the smells of fresh dough and chocolate wafting over us.
“God, these all look amazing. What are you getting?” Maya’s eyes were wide as she assessed the pastries through the display window.
“I’ll stick with coffee. Get whatever you want, though.”
She spun and looked at me like I had three heads, her brows knitted tightly together. “You work me to the brink of death, then lure me to a bakery offering mouth watering desserts and tell me you’re just getting coffee?”
“I have to watch my figure,” I joked. “Can’t have my clients giving me a hard time.”
“Whatever, you’re holding them accountable. Not the other way around.”
“Does that mean I should be holding you accountable too?”
“I’m not your client, but I’m humoring you. You can torture me with your workouts, but don’t get between me and my chocolate. It could get ugly.”
I laughed. “Warning noted.”
“In fact, to make this point, I’m going to get two.”
I nodded with raised eyebrows. “Ambitious.”
She smiled broadly, and I got a small thrill out of her obvious excitement. We took our desserts and drinks to a small round table in the corner of the bakery. She wasted no time tasting the first dessert. She moaned quietly.
“That good?” I teased.
“You’re really missing out.” She dangled a spoonful of chocolate mousse in front of me.
“Looks amazing, but I’m good. Stop taunting me.”
She airplaned the spoon into her mouth and moaned so loud, my mouth watered, but for all the wrong reasons. She opened an eye to catch my reaction. I was gawking, slack jawed.
“What?”
I slid my chair closer, taking the spoon from her. “Here, let me.” I scooped out another helping and held it to her lips.
>
Slowly she parted for me and took it in her mouth. She licked the spoon clean, her throat working on a swallow. I suppressed a moan of my own. I wanted to be that spoon. Christ, did I ever. I licked my lips and shoved a vision of her licking chocolate mousse off my cock out of my head. How did we get from dessert to dirty so fucking fast?
I lifted a fresh scoop to her lips. She took it and closed her eyes, a quieter moan punctuating the finish. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to drive me crazy on purpose. I was too fixated on feeding her dessert to care. We could do this all night, except I was already getting hard and we had a long walk home.
“It’s really good, Cam,” she said, breaking me from one of a dozen visions blooming from my now suddenly vivid imagination.
“That good?”
She nodded, slowly licking the frothy substance from her lips. “Delicious.”
Delicious. I let the word roll around in my mind, letting it dance over the fantasies that were playing out.
I leaned in slowly until our lips nearly touched. “I’ll need to try some of it then.”
She sucked in a breath but gave no resistance. I angled slightly and licked the sweet curve of her lower lip. Catching her face in my palm, I held her still and kissed her gently.
The clatter of a couple situating themselves nearby broke the moment. She pulled back quickly. I studied her reaction.
“Delicious.”
“See, don’t you wish you’d gotten it?” Her voice was breathy, our gazes fixed on one another.
“And miss sampling it off your lips? Not for the world.”
She paused and contemplated the as yet untouched tiramisu for a second.
“Give me that fork.” I took her fork and scooped off a corner of the dessert. I ate it, noting that it would taste far better when I was licking it off of Maya.
She grinned broadly. “I’m corrupting you.”
“That’s okay. I’ll make you pay for it tomorrow.”
She slapped me on the arm. “That’s not fair. You cheat and I pay?”
“My rules.”
“Why are they always your rules? Maybe next week should be my rules. No exercise and I’ll have you on a strict diet of chicken fingers and gummy bears.”
I grimaced at the thought. “That shit’s terrible for you, Maya.”
“I know, and I have the ass to show for it.”
I frowned, not liking her implication. “I love your ass,” I said with total seriousness.
Her eyes flashed to mine and then back to her dessert, which she was systematically mangling with her fork. “Quit,” she mumbled, tucking her hair behind her ear and revealing the sudden blush in her cheeks.
The color emboldened me. I leaned in closer, ensuring only she could hear me. “Don’t make me prove it right here.”
“Yeah right.”
I sat back and grinned. “You have an amazing body, though. You shouldn’t feel insecure at all.”
“I don’t believe you, but thank you.”
“Believe it, or you’ll force me to keep complimenting your ass. It could get really awkward. Like, a lot more awkward than this.” I gestured discreetly to the occupied table and the couple who may or may not have been overhearing our ass banter.
She laughed, and I joined her. I loved her laugh, a natural throaty sound that took me back to another time, when we laughed all the time. I resolved to get her to do this more, for her sake and mine.
Contentment flooded me, in a way I couldn’t remember happening since...well, since the last time we’d been together.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
MAYA. “Are you mad?”
“I’m not exactly thrilled with how the other night went down, if that’s what you’re asking. I thought you’d be more receptive.”
Jia dropped her napkin on the table, resting back into her seat casually. Even as I struggled to make sense of this situation she’d dropped me in, I couldn’t help but be captivated with her simple grace. How far had it taken her to this point, luring people in with that easy confidence, that air of power and control? I’d succumbed to it so easily.
“You blindsided me, Jia. How the hell was I supposed to know that he, and you, expected me to spend Christmas Eve fucking in his office?”
“You seemed pretty open-minded when we went out to the club. I figured after a drink, you’d loosen up and you’d be fine with it. Is it this thing with Cameron?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn’t find the words. I didn’t want to admit how he’d utterly freaked out on me after our rendezvous. “He wasn’t impressed.”
She frowned. “You should be careful with him.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s obviously controlling.”
“He cares about me. I don’t think he’s controlling.” My tone was sharp, surprising even me with how quickly I defended him. I didn’t like the idea of someone thinking anyone controlled my life. I also didn’t like her attacking the man I loved.
She rolled her eyes. “Right. They wait until you’re hopelessly in love with them, and then they start telling you how to live your life. Trust me, I’ve been there.”
I swallowed hard. I couldn’t really argue with the picture she painted. Being with Cameron had changed my life, turned everything upside down. Not that I would have been on board with fucking my boss to get a promotion otherwise, but Cameron’s better judgment colored a lot of my decisions lately. Falling in love with him had played no small part in that transformation.
As if reading my mind, her eyes softened. “Maya, what happened? I thought you said you wanted to focus on your career. That you weren’t interested in a relationship?”
“I wasn’t, but…we were in love once. We fell back into it so easily.”
She sighed quietly. “Anyway, we have to figure a way out of this mess with Dermott.”
The pit in my stomach grew. My job was very likely on the line. Being jobless wasn’t how I wanted to ring in the new year. “How bad is it?”
“He’s freaking out that you’re going to file some sort of sexual harassment claim with the company and he’ll get heat. I promised him you wouldn’t, that you weren’t like that. I had to blow him just to get him to calm down.”
She gave me a look that said, Thanks for that.
I wanted to feel guilty that she’d been put in that position, but I fought a wave of nausea with the thought that it could have been me.
“How can you do that, Jia?” I asked, unable to hide my disgust. Dermott wasn’t totally repulsive, but his personality was. The idea of giving him access to any part of my body for sexual gratification seemed unthinkable, even more so than it had the other night.
She frowned as she studied my obvious reaction. “Don’t look down your nose at me, Maya. Start with that, and any semblance of friendship that we had is over. I told you I’d show you how to get ahead, and that’s what we needed to get ahead.”
“You fuck people to get ahead?” I threw my hands up, unable to accept her suggestion as remotely normal. “Doesn’t it bother you that people think that about you anyway? What kind of role model are we for other women in this company if that’s how we get ahead?”
She softened slightly. “Listen, I don’t habitually do that, but I saw an opportunity and I took it. But you couldn’t sacrifice a few hours of your life for a promotion that would have put you light years ahead of your colleagues.”
“I’d sooner fuck the mailroom guy than Dermott.”
She grimaced at the suggestion.
“I’m not spreading my legs to prove I can do my job, when I can do it well enough.”
She narrowed her eyes. “So that’s how it is.”
Defending myself and insulting her behavior were one in the same, and that fact wasn’t lost on her. I fought the wave of panic that crept over me. I had no idea how this would play out or what she expected me to do from here. I’d let her take the lead, but I couldn’t trust where that took me anymore.
I took a de
ep breath, trying to recover the tone of the conversation. “All I’m saying is you should have more respect for your body…for yourself, than to let someone like him demean you that way.”
She let out a sharp laugh. “Respect? Plenty of people respect me. Who respects you, Maya? You were nothing but a cubicle drone until I put the spotlight on you. You let people pass you over every day, take advantage of your talents and your mind so they can take all the credit. What’s that if not demeaning?”
I clenched my teeth, hating the absolute truth that spewed from her lips. “You’re right, Jia.” I held her in a hard stare, seeing her clearly for the first time. “And that’s exactly what you did. Or what you would have done, if I’d been stupid enough to let you.”
“What?”
“You spelled it all out for me, remember? You told me yourself that you weren’t here to make friends, that you were here to get ahead. That it was all about finding out what people wanted and capitalizing on those desires for your benefit.”
“This was for our benefit.”
“Did you really think I’d let you pimp me so you could get a promotion, Jia? This wasn’t about me. This was about you. But what shocks me is that someone as smart as you couldn’t come up with something more original than blowing our boss to get ahead.”
Her eyes grew dark, dangerously so. “You’re going to regret this.”
“Maybe I will. But I’m sure I won’t regret it as much as I would have regretted letting Dermott fuck me.”
I stood and grabbed my purse, throwing a fifty on the table. “This one’s on me.”
“That won’t help you keep your job.”
“I don’t need this job, so do what you want, Jia.”
I walked out, trying to keep my legs steady and fighting the tremble that coursed through me.
CAMERON. Darren called to me on my way in. He said something unintelligible to the pretty blonde he was training and followed me down the hall to the office. Shutting the door behind us, he stood silent while I shoved my things in my locker.
On My Knees Page 23
