Against the Rules

by Tori Carson

  “When can I see my father?”

  “He will be in recovery for a few hours. Once he’s settled in his room, we’ll let you know.”

  The nurse had a soft, sympathetic smile that made Chantel cringe inside. She’d seen what Ed had done to her. She hated that. They’d photographed every inch of her body. Every wound had been recorded and would be forever in a file somewhere for everyone to see.

  She wanted to go home, but she couldn’t. He’d taken that from her, too.

  “What’s wrong?” Teague asked.

  He noticed everything. “She knows.”

  “Yes, she knows how strong you are. She knows you are a survivor.”

  Teague looked as bad as she felt. The bottom of his ear was red and nasty-looking. Dark circles pooled under his eyes. “I don’t feel strong.”

  “You are. You did what you had to do and you survived. That’s all that matters.”

  She wanted to believe him.

  “He was ill, you know. Most of the time he thought I was Jasmine. I think she was his girlfriend about the time my mom and dad starting dating. He killed her.”

  He knew from Sid that the bastard had kept a detailed journal of each abduction. Ed had crated all the evidence and cataloged it as if he were an agent working a case. He was one sick motherfucker.

  “Dad will blame himself.”

  Teague held back his first response. Donley’s judgment error had cost several women their lives. He’d have to live with that. Teague’s only concern was Channy. “Your healing will help him more than anything else.”

  She gave him a knowing smile.

  His heart pounded in his chest as he added, “Grandchildren might help, too.”

  She didn’t answer, but she tightened her grip on his hand and gave him a shy, sad smile.

  “I’m all yours, if you’ll have me. I’m not a great catch, but I promise to work on it. I have some money set aside. We can buy a nice house, close to your dad if you want.”

  “Tell me about your past.” Her gaze met his.

  He didn’t want to tell her.

  “Remember rule ninety-eight.”

  Well, he’d just have to violate rule ninety-eight, at least a little. “I was working for a computer software firm. We created programs to meet the needs of corporations and some government facilities. A buddy of mine called me to one of his accounts. There was a glitch he couldn’t get past and his deadline was fast approaching. It was odd, because no programmer would normally turn a project over to someone else. You might not believe this, but IT geeks have an ego that won’t quit.”

  He was relieved to see a smile touch her lips. “He was overly nervous. He said the company stood to lose a lot of money if the deadline wasn’t met.” In truth, he stood to lose his life—violation one of rule ninety-eight. “That should have clued me in, but it didn’t. I noticed an anomaly and began to track it down. It turns out, the company was really a drug and human trafficking cartel. When I realized what I’d discovered, I went to the police.”

  “And from there you ended up with NBIA. I was so relieved when my dad retired from the Bureau. I didn’t realize he’d be working harder still for the new agency.”

  “The focus broadened after nine/eleven. The caseload more than doubled overnight.” He was watching her closely. She seemed to have the weight of the world on her shoulders. “Your dad is going to be all right, Channy. He’s a tough old bird. He’ll pull through.”

  “What does the world think happened to Teague Brodie?”

  “The world and my mom…” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat then pressed on, “Think I died. My co-worker sold me out to the cartel. He told them everything about me. The only way to keep my mom safe was for me to die. That’s been the hardest part of this. She was a single mom who worked two jobs to keep a roof over our head and food on the table. She didn’t have time to date. She basically put her life on hold to raise me. Then I finally got out of college and was doing well, able to buy her some of the nice things she had denied herself, then this crap happened. The NBIA staged a one car accident. The bastards destroyed my GTO.” He had to take it to the lighter side. Every time he thought of his mom and her sacrifices, his throat closed up.

  “Since you are out of it now, you can reunite with her. And you are out of it. Don’t even think to tell me otherwise.”

  She had steel in her voice again.

  “I would never risk your safety by getting involved in something again.”

  “Teague…” She turned away from him.

  He waited, knowing that this was something important for her to say. And he suspected that it was something he didn’t want to hear.

  “I can’t be the woman you need. Not anymore.”

  He vehemently disagreed with her, but just saying so wouldn’t change her mind. “Why is that, Channy?”

  A tear fell down her cheek, then a second. “You want a woman who can…let you take charge. I can’t do that now.”

  “Channy… I understand why you believe that. Your trust has been shaken to its core. You loved Ed and he hurt you. He betrayed both you and your dad. That’s not something that will just go away.” He didn’t want her to think that he in any way took her pain lightly. “But, Channy…” He turned her chin until she looked at him. “We’ll make it past this. You’ve already made it through the first two phases. You’re past anger. That’s the hardest one for me. Your mind is looking for a way to make sense of all this. You told me just a few minutes ago that he was ill.”

  “Teague, you’ve finally got your life back. I can’t ask you to put it on hold while I see if I can ever be close to normal again.” She sounded determined to push him away.

  “A smart woman once told me life is about setting a goal and going for it. Us making a life together is my goal. If you can’t look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me, then nothing is going to stop me from making that goal our reality.”

  * * * *

  Against everyone’s strenuous objections, Chantel had moved back into her home. Teague would have stayed with her, if she would have let him. Each evening after the news, she threw him out. The next morning at eight sharp, he was pounding on her door.

  It had taken a full week of sleeping on the couch with her pistol on the coffee table and a knife under the cushion before she had been ready to face a night in her bedroom.

  She kept looking at the empty space where her doll had been. It was one more reminder of what Ed had taken away from her.

  Holding her pillow tight, she wished that she’d let him stay. She rarely felt safe unless she was in his arms. But it wasn’t fair to rely on him when she doubted that she’d ever be able to submit to him again. He was a dominant man and he deserved a submissive woman.

  Every time she even thought about it, she remembered all the things she’d permitted Ed to do to her. The humiliation she felt at having allowed him to control her made her sick inside.

  It wasn’t fair. When Teague kissed her, she felt all those familiar sensations. For a few moments, she’d gotten her hopes up. But as his hand had fisted in her hair, it had felt as if a bucket of ice had been dropped on her.

  * * * *

  Channy was feeling stronger and if Teague’s guess was correct, she was getting ready to send him packing. She had it in her head that a D/s relationship was out of the question and that he’d never be content in a vanilla one. She was wrong on all counts, but making her see reason was damn near impossible.

  He understood her need for independence and why she wanted to live in her own house, but it was filled with bad memories, too. Constantly being reminded of how Ed had violated her trust wasn’t helping. She had refused to leave the house until her bruises had gone away. Now that they’d faded, the last of her excuses had disappeared.

  Tonight, they were going on their first date since the attack. He couldn’t believe how nervous he was. A million things could go wrong. Channy had refused to tell him what had happened. Though he held out hope
that she would eventually trust him enough to share the details with him, he’d hacked into the police report and read the file.

  Teague had been relieved to discover that Ed hadn’t raped her. At least she’d been spared that atrocity. The sick bastard had hurt her in every other way.

  While he didn’t care how long it took for Channy to trust him again, she didn’t have that kind of patience. If Channy didn’t feel like she was making progress, he feared that she would try to push him away for his own sake.

  He pulled into her driveway and remembered the first time he’d picked her up for a date. So much had changed since then. Shit. It felt like a lifetime had passed.

  Teague went to the door and knocked. A moment later, he heard her unbolting the three deadbolts, two of which were new. Once the door had been opened, he stood back and held his arms out. He was pleased when she snuggled against him.

  “Little Red, you look beautiful. Are you ready to go?” He felt her swallow hard then nod.

  She pulled out of his arms long enough to relock the door.

  Teague slid his arm around her shoulders and led her to the car. As he leaned in to check her safety belt, she turned away and whimpered. He knew that he’d hit upon a memory. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her to look at him, but after reading the police reports he knew that would have been a serious mistake.

  He dropped his hand and gave her some space. “Tell me.”

  She shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose, probably trying to keep tears from falling.

  “Once you tell me, it will lose a bit of its hold on you.” He sat on his heels and waited.

  A few moments later, she looked at him. “And pass it on to you? That isn’t fair.”

  “Remember when we crawled through the yard evading the cartel?” His heart wrenched seeing her bottom lip quiver and her eyes fill with tears.

  “Yes.” She looked down at her wrists. “I was a mess.”

  “And I didn’t have a scratch on me. I’m pretty tough. The only thing that hurts me is you refusing to share your burden.” He kept his voice as casual as possible.

  She searched his eyes then sighed. “Ed buckled my seatbelt the day he abducted me.”

  Teague shook his head. “What a fucktard, playing the gentleman when he was really just a sick bastard.”

  Surprise registered on her face.

  “I always make sure my girl is belted properly. Remember that first night?”

  She blushed.

  “I think you were shocked I didn’t make a move on you.”

  A small grin touched her lips. “Yeah, a little.”

  “I’ll let you in on a little secret. I was pretty shocked too.”

  She ran a finger down his cheek. “I hope I was worth the wait.”

  He leaned in, meaning to give her a peck, until she turned and brushed her lips across his. Teague then deepened the kiss. Wanting to strengthen their connection, he placed his hand on her thigh.

  After a moment, she stiffened and pulled away from him.

  He kept his expression calm and steady, but refused to move his hand.

  Channy’s breathing was ragged and he knew that it was only partially from fear. She had been responding, until he’d hit another trigger.

  “He…” She wrapped her hand around his wrist and tried to push him away. After a moment, she gave up and dared to glance his way. “He drugged me.”

  Teague rubbed his thumb back and forth along her thigh. “He injected you here.”

  She nodded.

  “I can imagine your fear and the sense of betrayal you must have felt.”

  When she began to tremble, he knew that he was handling it all wrong. “I want you to focus on my hand. How does it feel to have me touch you?”

  Her breath faltered and her eyes dilated.

  “Warm. Nice.” She exhaled sharply. “In that room… I was so cold. I thought I’d never feel warm again.” Her voice was shaky, but she was talking to him, sharing a few of the details.

  “That won’t do. You’re my little hottie.”

  She chuckled. “I don’t know about that, but I do like the way I feel when you touch me.”

  He kissed her forehead before taking his place in the driver’s seat.

  “Where are we going?” she asked with one hand gripping the door handle.

  “We are going to Casa Brodie. I have it on good authority that for the last hour or so the chef has been marinating a pair of steaks.”

  Channy loosened her death grip on the handle and seemed to relax.

  * * * *

  She’d become such a chicken. She’d been afraid to go out in public and just as afraid to go back to his place. But she shouldn’t have been. Teague seemed to know everything she was thinking. Whenever she started freaking out, he stopped and just waited for her to get a grip. He had more patience than any man she’d ever met.

  After they’d finished dinner, he led her into the living room. They’d made love on his couch during their wonderful weekend together. He’d tied a bow around her hands with a soft black scarf. She could have gotten free at any time, but it was so naughty, she’d had one of her best orgasms during that encounter.

  She suspected that he hoped to relive it. Hell, she hoped to relive it.

  “What’s whirling through that pretty head of yours?” Teague asked, pulling her onto his lap.

  She snuggled against his shoulder and remembered how he’d held her while they had played that word association game. “I was thinking about the naughty things we did on this couch.”

  “That was fun. The black scarf was very sexy against your skin.” He ran a light finger around her wrists.

  A shiver ran through her at his touch and the powerful memory. “I can’t.”

  Unfazed, he told her, “I’d be surprised if you could this soon.”

  “What if I never can?” She ran her fingers down his buttons. She knew what he was going to say. It wasn’t like he could tell her the truth—he was too much of a gentleman for that. He would tell her what she wanted to hear and maybe he even make himself believe it. He had lived by a strict code of honor ever since he’d discovered the human trafficking ring. That honor would force him to stand by her no matter how many of his needs weren’t met.

  “I’m not going to break one of your rules and lie to you, Channy. Sex is important. It’s important to me and I believe it’s important to you.”

  She couldn’t believe her ears. He hadn’t sugar-coated it. She was both scared and relieved. Scared that she’d disappoint him, yet relieved that he wasn’t going to let her hide.

  “We love each other, Channy. Intimacy builds trust and strengthens the bond between two people.” He tipped her chin up and met her gaze.

  “I’m willing to admit I have trust issues. Are you willing to help me work through them?”

  He was constantly surprising her. Here she was focusing on her deficiencies and he was asking her for help. Maybe they could help each other.

  “That’s a pretty big task. What are you offering in return?” she teased him.

  “Oh, I see how it is. I waited too long to push my advantage. Now that you’re feeling stronger, you’re going to make me up the ante.” His tone was lighthearted. “Okay, let’s get serious then. What’s it going to take before you make an honest man of me?”

  Her heart pounded. Ever since she’d been in the hospital, Teague had been talking about getting married, having kids. He hadn’t out and out asked her… He probably knew she’d say no.

  “Teague, I have to know that I can be what you need… In and out of bed.” She’d been seeing a psychologist ever since she’d been rescued. The doctor said that, given enough time, she’d be able to have a normal physical relationship, but he hadn’t made any promises about D/s.

  Teague picked her up and headed toward the bedroom. “I’d like to try something. Will you trust me?”

  She turned into him and held on tight. “I’m scared.”

  “I kn
ow, Little Red, and so am I. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we can work through this, but your fear grows more tenacious with each passing day. I think we need to break the cycle.” He kissed the top of her head.

  “Okay.” Butterflies had taken flight in her belly. His arms, so strong and warm, wrapped around her, stealing her breath away.

  He sat on the edge of his bed with her still in his lap. “What was your biggest fear that weekend?”

  She laughed—it seemed so silly now. “A blindfold.”

  Teague nodded before shifting her onto the bed. He kept his arm on her thighs as he bent forward and pulled a gym bag out from under the bed. A moment later, he had the scarf he’d used that night in his hand.

  “Hold it.”

  She took the silky fabric between her hands as fond memories flashed through her mind.

  “I want you to put it over your eyes and hold it there. I promise I won’t tie it. You’ll be in control of the scarf the whole time. Will you do that for me?”

  “Do you swear you’ll stay with me?” She hated sounding so desperate, but she needed to know he’d be there.

  “I swear.” He crossed his heart with his finger.

  “Okay,” she whispered. Slowly, she brought the cloth up and over her face. As soon as her eyes closed, the image of that horrible room flashed into her head. She pulled the material away. “I can’t.”

  “Sure you can. You jumped the gun. You’re such an impatient one.” He chuckled, as if her freaking out was no big deal.

  She tried to relax and send him a smile.

  He tugged on her belt loop. “These pants are tight. You look damn good in them, but you know what I’m wondering.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

  She laughed then. “No, I’m not wearing granny undies.”

  “Remember, I told you I had trust issues?”

  She nodded, knowing where he was going with this. Channy was scared, but she wanted his hands touching her.

  “Show me.”