How the Cowboy Was Won

by Lori Wilde

  Except it didn’t feel much like a celebration. At least not to her.

  Don’t be jealous, she told herself. It’s petty and it’s not you.

  No, she wasn’t the jealous type; she was the type to pull men into small spaces at parties and make out with them.

  She closed her eyes against the memory of the bodyguard interrupting them right when they were about to get something seriously started. Would she never learn? If she was going to be Ranger’s girlfriend, she would have to control herself. Her outrageousness wasn’t going to cut it. It hadn’t worked with Trey and . . .

  Actually, Ranger had seemed amused that they’d gotten caught. He’d smiled and sent her a wink, and when he zipped up the back of her dress, he’d planted a humming kiss to her nape.

  Ember reached back to finger the spot that still tingled, and walked out of the observatory. She headed down the sidewalk toward the valet stand, her mind and emotions churning.

  Two women were already standing there waiting. She didn’t know either of them. Ember hung back because she was not in the mood for casual conversation. She’d wait in the shadows until the valet brought her car around.

  She heard the women mention Ranger, and she pricked up her ears. Eased closer in the darkness.

  “I don’t know what Ranger sees in that crass redhead,” said one of the women—an older, bejeweled, bleach-blonde in a white summer dress. “Honestly, he’d be better off with no escort at all than that one.”

  “Can you imagine having her at your dinner party? She’s quite outrageous,” replied the second woman, another blonde who was slightly younger but not quite as attractive as the older woman.

  “Someone needs to pull him aside and straighten him out about her. He requires someone befitting his station in life, and that redhead certainly does not fit the bill.”

  “She is pretty though,” said the younger woman.

  “All the more reason to get rid of her. Beautiful women are such a distraction. He needs his mind one hundred percent on his work. Ah, here’s our car now.”

  It was a black, new model Bentley. The valet held the car doors open for the women. They slid inside and drove away, leaving their poisonous opinions behind them.

  To fester inside of Ember. She heard Trey’s chiding voice in her head, Don’t you care what people think of you?

  Yes, of course she cared. She didn’t want to, but she did. So why did she keep making the same mistakes over and over? Why couldn’t she learn not to be so much herself? Why couldn’t she just toe the line and be what everyone expected her to be?

  “Don’t let them define you.”

  Ember jerked her head up. Heath Lumley was standing there, flashlight in hand. She offered up a weak smile. “Hey, Heath.”

  “I’m serious, Ember. Who are they? A couple of rich snobs with nothing better to do than gossip. Why should you care what they think?”

  “I need to pay more attention to what people think of me.”

  “Which people?” Heath’s teasing tone was kind. “All three-hundred-plus-million people in this country? Or the seven and a half billion globally?”

  “It does sound pretty stupid when you put it like that.”

  “Even when it comes to people you love and who love you, which ones are you going to carve yourself up to please? Your parents? Your siblings? Your grandmother? Ranger?”

  “Ranger accepts me for who I am.”

  Heath grinned at her like she’d gotten straight As on a report card. “Exactly.”

  “Thank you, Heath, you’ve made me feel a lot better.”

  “Hey, you helped us buy our dream home.”

  At least someone had gotten their dream. Heath had gotten his house, Ranger had gotten his earth-shaking discovery, and he was on his way to getting a dream job.

  “Do not feel sorry for yourself, Ember Leigh Alzate, you hear me?” she scolded herself on the way down the mountain. “You are nothing but happy for Ranger, and I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

  Tears burned the back of her eyelids.

  “Oh hell no, you most certainly are not going to cry.” She sniffled and turned on the satellite radio to drown out her troubled thoughts, punched around on the presets, but the airwaves were filled with too many love songs, so she switched it off.

  In her rearview mirror, she could see the observatory, glowing white in the dark of night, until she rounded a curve and it disappeared from her view.

  Ranger had eclipsed her. He didn’t belong just to her anymore. Now the entire world would find out what she had known for thirty-three years. He was brilliant and funny and kind and complicated. He was a scientist and a cowboy, a cardsharp, and a man who’d donated bone marrow to a sick kid he didn’t even know. He was a tender lover and crackerjack best friend.

  And she was going to miss him so very much.

  A single tear slid down her cheek, but she viciously slashed it away. None of that, missy. It was okay that she didn’t belong in Ranger’s world anymore. Really, when it came right down to it, had she ever belonged in his world?

  She would get through this and support Ranger the best way she could, even if that meant from afar. Because that’s what best friends did for each other. She only wanted him to be happy. It’s all she ever wanted, and if that meant she had to step out of the picture, then so be it.

  Vivid memories of the night flickered through her head like scenes from a movie. How handsome he’d looked in the tux. How he’d dove right in when she’d yanked him into the janitorial closet. How delicious he’d tasted. How warm and steady his hands had felt on her bare skin. How they’d gotten caught and she’d had that dark moment of déjà vu over her audacious behavior.

  It hit her all at once why she’d repeated the mistake she’d made with Trey when she should have known better. It wasn’t just because Ranger was so sexy and she couldn’t control herself. In fact, this new theory would explain why she’d done the same thing with Trey eighteen months ago.

  She’d wanted to get caught. Had courted the embarrassment and shame because, in both cases, her behavior gave her a way out of the relationship. With Trey, it had been about showing her real self to see if he could accept her, warts and all.

  But with Ranger? Had sex in the closet really been about saying goodbye?

  On a subconscious level had she courted the disdain of his community? Had she wanted to justify the snobby gossips’ opinion of her?

  It was a stunning idea. She didn’t belong in Ranger’s world, and deep down, she knew it, so she’d done something outrageous to prove she wasn’t worthy of him.

  Chapter 23

  “The most incomprehensible thing in the world to a man, is a woman who rejects his offer of marriage!”

  —Jane Austen, Emma

  As soon as the private helicopter whisked the governor away, Ranger left the observatory. He was a man on a mission. Get to Ember, tell her how much he loved her, and ask her to marry him.

  The logical part of him argued that he should wait, buy a ring, take his time, and do this up right. But another part of him, the part of him that asked WWED—what would Ember do—whenever he started overthinking things, yelled loud and clear.

  Go claim your woman, dumbass.

  He drove down the mountain, traveling as fast as he dared at night on the narrow country road, his hands gripping the wheel as his imagination toyed with several different scenarios, playing out how best to tell Ember that he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life making love to her.

  His heart was a piston, pumping hard and fast.

  Thirty minutes later, he finally reached her house, it was after midnight, and he was utterly breathless. He hesitated at her door, fist raised to knock, head spinning, a lump lodged in his throat.

  The house was dark. She was probably already asleep. Should he wake her up, or would it be more prudent to wait until morning? WWED?

  Screw morning. He wanted to be with her now.

  He rapped on the door
.

  No answer.

  He waited a minute, knocked again.

  Nothing.

  Restlessly, he shifted his weight and knocked a third time.

  He thought he heard movement in the house, but the lights didn’t come on. It could have been Samantha moving around.

  Just go.

  No, no. He was here and this was happening. He took out his cell phone and called her. It rang and rang and rang and then went to voice mail.

  It’s a sign. Go home.

  From inside the house, he heard another sound, like someone whacking into a piece of furniture in the dark, followed by a muffled curse.

  She was in there, awake and hiding out from him. Why?

  “Ember,” he said, raising his voice slightly. “Let me in. We need to talk.”

  Nothing. No light. No opening door. No response.

  He rested his forehead on her door, whispered, “Please.”

  Finally, the porch light came on and she opened the door a crack, blinked up at him. “Ranger, it’s late. After midnight.”

  “I know.”

  “Call me in the morning. You can tell me all about meeting the governor then.” She moved to close the door.

  His stomach scrambled up to his throat. Ember was shutting the door on him? Before she could get it closed, he jammed his foot inside. “I didn’t come here to talk about the damn governor.”

  “What did you come for?” Her voice was high and taut, bordering on shrillness. This was not like Ember. Not at all. Something big was eating at her.

  “I came here to see you.”

  “Now is not a good time.”

  “It might be the only time I have to see you for a while. Things are moving really fast. There’s some things about the future I need to discuss with my best friend.” Yes, he played the best friend card, but it was true.

  She stepped aside, opened the door wider. “Come in.”

  He walked into the living room, turned to face her.

  She shut the door, folded her arms over her chest. “What is it?”

  “Can we sit?”

  She inclined her head toward the couch. He sat down and she took the chair opposite him. Crossed her legs to join her crossed arms. Well, that was significant body language.

  He knew what she was doing. Things were moving too fast for her, and she was putting up roadblocks. He didn’t blame her. She hadn’t signed up for any of this, but he sure as hell prayed she’d want to come along.

  Ranger cleared his throat, spread his legs, leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, pressed his palms together in front of him, a gesture of entreaty. “I had fun tonight.”

  “I bet you did. You got to meet the governor.”

  “That’s not what I meant. I had fun with you in the closet.”

  “I embarrassed you.”

  “No you didn’t. How many guys can say a beautiful woman dragged him into a closet to have her way with him? I call those bragging rights.” Immediately, he realized how that could be misconstrued, and she seemed to be in a misconstruing mood. “Not that I would brag.”

  “You didn’t need to. Half the people at the observatory could’ve seen us coming out of the closet.”

  He laughed. She frowned. He winced. “Oh, you weren’t making a joke.”

  “It’s not funny. You should be mad at me. Why aren’t you mad at me?”

  “Um, because I’m not Trey.” He scratched his head. “Wait, you wanted me to be mad at you?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know what I want.”

  “Well, I know what I want.” He sent her a piercing stare, put all the emotions churning around inside him into that stare.

  “And what’s that?” She was jiggling her right foot so hard that Samantha, tail-swishing, came over to swat at it.

  “I’ve been offered a position at the University of Waterloo.”

  “Waterloo? That’s in Canada, right?”

  “Yes, Ontario. They’re doing cutting edge research on FRBs, and it’s very possible that I could be one of the astrobiologists who proves that there is intelligent life in the universe beyond Earth, and even if that never happens, I get to spend my entire career investigating the possibility. I can’t dream a bigger dream.”

  Her face was impassive; a stone-cold poker face.

  “It’s a visiting professorship they created just for me and Dawn, but it could turn permanent.”

  “I’m truly happy for you, Ranger. You did all the hard work and it’s paid off.” No emotion in her voice either. He couldn’t get a read on her.

  He was mangling this. Making a mess. That’s what you get for barreling in here after midnight, unprepared. “But I won’t take the job unless you agree to go with me.”

  “Why would I go with you?” she asked flatly.

  Wow, okay, he had not expected that response. All he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and kiss her until neither one of them could breathe. “Can we start over?”

  “In what way?”

  “This conversation, can we start it over?”

  “You’re the one who came to my door.”

  Why was she acting so weird? Had he done something to offend her? He blew out his breath. He was just going to come right out and say it.

  “Ember, I love you.” He slid off the couch and onto one knee. He was still in the tux, so that was fancy.

  “Get up, Ranger.” Her voice sounded panicky. “Please get up before you say something—”

  “I love you not just as my best friend, but as my lover, and—”

  “Please, please,” she begged, hopping to her feet. “Get up.”

  “I’m hoping you’ll be my wife.” He reached for her hand. “Marry me, Ember.”

  She pulled her hand away, staggered back, looked shocked. “I . . . I . . . I can’t.”

  This was not what he expected at all. The intimacy they’d shared, the pillow talk, the great sex. He thought it had been leading up to this. Discovering that Ember was not on the same page was a complete blindside.

  “Why not?”

  “My life is here, my family, my job.”

  Reeling from her rejection, he started babbling. “I was hoping you could move your life to Canada and we could start our own family and there’s plenty of real estate to sell up there.”

  “Where is this coming from? This isn’t like you.”

  On the drive over, he’d had pictures of her flinging herself into his arms, declaring, Yes, yes, I’ll marry you. It never occurred to him that she would turn him down.

  “You’re a cautious guy. A planner. You are not impulsive.”

  “You’re right. It’s not like me. I didn’t plan it. I don’t even have a ring. But after I was offered the job in Waterloo, I knew I couldn’t leave Texas without you. So I asked myself, what would Ember do?” He heard a tremor run through his voice. “And here I am, making a fool of myself. Telling a woman who clearly does not have the same degree of feelings for me as I do for her that I want to marry her.”

  “Now see,” she said softly, kindly, like telling a child Santa didn’t show up on Christmas Eve. “That was your mistake, asking yourself what I would do. I’m not you, and you don’t get to make the biggest decisions of your life based on me.”

  Ranger clenched his jaw, hurting to the very marrow of his bones. He searched her face, looking for a crack, a way in past this concrete barrier she’d erected around herself. And he caught a flicker of it. An uncertain light in her eyes.

  “I have one more question for you.”

  “Ranger, please go home.”

  “Just one last question and I’ll be on my way.”

  She sighed, the sound heavy and dark in the room. “What is it?”

  “When I kiss you, do you hear humming?”

  Yes, yes, she did hear humming. He didn’t even have to kiss her to start it up now that they’d made love. All he had to do was touch her and zing, she was wired for sound.

  He touched her now, his fingers arou
nd her wrist, gentle but firm. He wanted an answer, and her head was humming so loudly she could not hear herself think.

  Neither could she tell him what he wanted to hear, even though it was true. If she told him she heard humming, he wouldn’t take that job and she simply could not let him throw his future away for her.

  She didn’t want to lie to him, so she said nothing. Nothing spoke louder than silence, right? Let him gather his own conclusions.

  “Ember?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

  “It’s late, Ranger—”

  “Dammit, Ember, I’m baring my soul to you and you keep trying to throw me out.”

  “I . . . I’m sorry, I . . .”

  It was all she could do to hold back her tears. She could not give an inch, or he would try to convince her that there was room for her in his world. But there just wasn’t. She’d heard those women at the observatory, had tried to talk to those people who basically ignored her. She didn’t fit, and she’d had enough of pretending to be something she wasn’t in order to fill someone else’s mold.

  “You’re killing me, you know that?”

  She couldn’t stop herself from reaching up to touch his shoulder. His muscles were steel cords beneath her hand. He looked so wounded, and she was the cause of it. Breaking his dreams of happily-ever-after so he could go after a bigger, more important dream.

  “I know how much your career means to you,” she said. “You’ve spent your whole life trying to get here. The last thing you need is to be distracted by romance.”

  “I don’t get to decide for myself what it is I need?”

  “You’re not thinking straight right now.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. I feel as if I’m thinking straight for the very first time in my life, and it’s all because of you.”

  “Ranger.” Why couldn’t he just go and let her sob herself to sleep? She was at her wit’s end.

  “Do you know how long I’ve waited to feel like this? My whole life, I wasn’t like other people, or at least I thought I wasn’t. I thought that I didn’t need love, that romance was an overrated complication people got themselves tangled up in and then tried to make the best of.”