The Purity of Blood: Volume I

by Jennifer Geoghan

  Looking in the bathroom mirror as I brushed my teeth I chastised myself over and over again in my mind.

  How could I have been so stupid, so naive? I bought all his lines, I kept thinking as I pulled the brush through my hair. How easy it was to picture all of them sitting up there in that swanky house on the side of the mountain, having a good laugh at my expense over a cup of chilled cow.

  I grabbed my bag and angrily shoved my books inside. In truth I was angrier with myself than anyone else. More than anything, I hated being made to play the fool, and a fool was indeed what I’d been to think he ever could have cared about me. All the training and life experience, everything I’d been subjected to for the last nineteen years, what did it all amount to if I couldn’t protect my heart?

  I picked up Ben’s note and reread it for the hundredth time. I hope I hadn’t made a mistake. Fool as I’d been, I was still in love with Daniel. At least with the Daniel I’d thought I’d known, not the one I’d seen last night. The man sitting on the table kissing Lucy was a stranger to me.

  As I walked out the front doors of Capen Hall, my emotions were a complicated wreck adrift in the wind. I was stuck in a strange limbo, knowing in my head I should just forget about him, but my heart stubbornly refused to let go of him so easily. My soul seemed to be the middle ground between the two. I think in my soul I knew I was waiting for the prevailing wind to find its way to me to know into whose arms I’d be blown. Daniel’s or Ben’s.

  This wasn’t me, wasn’t how I was raised. I was made to be proactive, not reactive. But I was too confused and upset to be my best rational self. Last night seemed evidence enough of that. My first inclination was to bolt, to run away for a week and re-gather my forces. But that wasn’t an option I could avail myself of here at NPU. Doing my best to suck it up, I soldiered off to class and prayed that God would see me through the day. Lord knew, I didn’t have the strength to do it on my own.

  When lunch rolled around I found my way to the Student Union Building food court and ordered a slice of pizza. Then I retreated to a secluded table in the back where I stared at the uneaten lunch on my tray for some time in silence. I wasn’t sure I could stomach food. The combination of alcohol and heart ache had left me with no appetite. I’d checked my phone on the way in and had seen four missed calls from Daniel. He’d left messages, but I hadn’t listened to them. I didn’t want to hear the sound of his lies.

  Seemingly out of nowhere, Tabitha sat down across from me. This not being a usual lunch spot for either of us, I was surprised to see her. The main reason I’d chosen it today was because I wanted to feel my pain in solitude.

  “Hey,” I said unenthusiastically.

  “Hey, yourself. What’s wrong with the pizza today?”

  “Nothing. I’m just not in the mood,” I mumbled as I turned to look out the window. It was sunny outside. How could it look so nice outside when I was crumbling apart on the inside?

  “What’s wrong? I know that look.”

  I paused wondering what I should say.

  “Is it wrong to kiss a guy when you’re in love with another guy? But the other guy turns out to not really love you, but the guy you kissed might really like you. But you only kissed him because you were upset because the guy you love turns out to not have ever loved you at all?”

  She scratched her head and got a puzzled look on her face.

  “I think I need you to draw me a diagram for that.”

  I slumped down, and putting my head down on top of the table mumbled, “I got drunk last night and kissed Ben.”

  “So that’s what happened to the schnapps,” she muttered.

  Still face down on the table, I nodded my head up and down.

  “I see,” she said. “So you and Daniel?”

  I shook my head from side to side.

  “I’m sorry to hear that. Surprised too. It all happened so fast, but I really thought he loved you.”

  I raised my head, and looking into her eyes fought to hold back the tears. “So did I.”

  “I’m assuming this is when the schnapps came into play.”

  I nodded again before giving her all the gory details of Daniel’s betrayal and my mortifying behavior. At least all that I could remember, some spots were still a little fuzzy around the edges.

  “Personally, I say if it’s over with Daniel, than good riddance. If he couldn’t realize how lucky he was to have you, than you’re better off without him. In the meantime, why not give Ben a chance? See what happens.”

  It was easier said than done in my opinion, but I couldn’t argue with her logic.

  I didn’t go out for dinner. I really didn’t want to face any of my friends. I knew Tabitha would have told them I officially wasn’t with Daniel anymore. Not because she was spreading gossip, but because she’d not want them to ask me where he was. I knew hoping to spare my feelings they’d avoid the subject, but I also knew I’d see the unspoken question in their eyes.

  How could she ever have thought he’d loved her?

  That alone would be enough to reduce me to tears. Once released, they’d give way to the blubbering mess that I was so desperately trying to contain inside myself for as long as I possibly could. But I knew I couldn’t hold it back forever.

  When I finally felt like I should be hungry, I picked at a bowl of cereal while pouring over my notes from class. I still couldn’t stomach food, but I was restless. I looked over only to see that the sun had already set. Time seemed to be passing without my knowing about it. The Quad was now awash in a sea of dark shadows gently moving as the trees swayed in the evening breeze. When I opened the window, the air felt so refreshingly crisp that I decided to go for a run. I’d neglected my usual routines of running and exercise since I’d been away from home. Running was always a good idea. It was easy to lose myself listening to the sound of my heart and the steady rhythm of my shoes on the pavement.

  Putting my text books away, I changed into a jogging suit, putting on an extra long sleeve t-shirt for warmth. After heading downstairs, I took off across the quad in a slow jog to warm up. I thought I’d start out with a circle around campus. I wasn’t sure how long it would take, but figured it was as good a place as any to start. I passed a few students milling around in front of the entrances to dorms along with some bats coming out for the night, but other than that it was a quiet evening.

  When I got to the faculty tower quad I circled around the tall brick tower, taking the long way around to increase my distance for the evening. I could feel my pulse rising ever so slightly with the exercise and the cool air. It felt invigorating after my day of maudlin despair. But it was probably just the endorphins kicking in.

  I was trying to block out everything but the sound of my breathing in an attempt to keep all other thoughts at bay. I carefully counted my steps and concentrated on controlling my heart rate, listening intently to it as I felt the ground beneath my feet. But even through all this, I could hear Daniel’s voice whispering my name and feel his touch on my lips.

  His wasn’t the only voice to haunt me. The Professor’s strange speech up at the house was still rattling around in my brain with a frightening repetitiveness. He’d said I needed to stay on my level to be happy. It had sounded very class warfare at the time, but I suppose there was truth there too. Truth be told, I’d always known Daniel wasn’t on my level, that he somehow inhabited, if not a higher sphere, at least a different one than I did. I guess I was fine with that until I realized that he probably shouldn’t stoop down to mine for his happiness.

  What would he be giving up in exchange for it? Surely there were sacrifices involved if he did. Besides, he had no idea what he was getting into with me, no idea who I really was underneath the facade I showed the world. I suspect the Professor did though. If Daniel had told the truth and the Professor could somehow read my thoughts, he’d have to know. Knowing there could only be one outcome in the end, he probably didn’t want to subject Daniel to it ... to me.

  Sighing, I supp
osed it didn’t matter anymore, not after the kiss in the quad. In retrospect, I preferred to think the Professor was trying to brace me for the crushing impact he must have seen coming all too clearly. He was probably trying to spare me the pain I was now feeling. Was he kind? I hadn’t considered that before, but perhaps I’d misjudged him.

  My mind was distracted by these thoughts when I came running around the back corner of the faculty tower, causing me to almost ran head long into someone absentmindedly coming out the rear exit.

  “Sorry,” I muttered not looking up. Still jogging in place, I’d stopped my forward momentum as I spoke.

  “Sara!”

  I looked up to see Daniel. He looked agitated. Why?

  “I left you a bunch of messages. You didn’t call me back. I’ve been worried about you. I was just on my way over to your room to make sure you were alright. I’m so sorry about dinner. I totally spaced. Then when I came looking for you, you were gone. Are you alright? Where were you?”

  I just stared at him blankly, still jogging in place. I was afraid to feel an emotion, afraid that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to control the tidal wave it would unleash. Strange, I felt weak at the sight of him, yet at the same time I wanted to punch him in the face as hard as I possibly could, for all the good it would do.

  “Kind of late for a run isn’t it? You really should confine these kinds of activities to the daylight hours. You know it’s dangerous for you to be running around all by yourself like this.”

  I nodded, still staring at him with an emotionless expression.

  “Say something!” he demanded.

  “I’m sorry you worried about me, but I’m sure once you get home you’ll forget all about it.”

  My voice lacked the emotion I felt inside and I was glad for it. I immediately moved to resume jogging, but he grabbed hold of my arm just as I started to turn.

  “There’s no way I’m letting you run off like this. What’s wrong with you?”

  I could hear him in the background, but I was distracted by a familiar shadow on the other side of the parking lot.

  Daniel gently shook my arm to get my attention. I looked over at him and then back at the shadow. Something about the shadow was drawing me towards it but Daniel’s firm grip on my arm held me back.

  “Sara, why didn’t you call me? Did I do something? This isn’t just about dinner last night, is it? You have to tell me. I love you.”

  I could hear his voice in the background pleading, but I was only half listening.

  This time he grabbed both of my arms and forced me to stand face to face with him. I looked at him, saw his lips moving, but couldn’t hear him. I was about to explode with pain, anger, anguish, sadness, love. I needed a distraction from the building explosion and looked over my shoulder at the shadow. The tall, hooded figure had moved closer.

  Somewhere in the distance, I heard Daniel say “What are you looking at?” and out of the corner of my eye, I saw his head turn.

  “I don’t know,” I hazily said. “He looks familiar, but I can’t place him.”

  I heard footsteps in the stairwell just inside the door and then the Professor’s voice.

  “What’s going on?” he asked Daniel.

  “I remember now.” My voice sounded strange in my ears, as if it belonged to someone else. “I saw him last night. I didn’t remember right away because – I was drunk, I guess. – So strange, he smelled me and said I was stupid.”

  Caught up in my curious dream, I turned toward Daniel and the Professor.

  “Why would he say that?”

  They both looked past me at the shadow, forcing me to follow their gaze.

  “My God, it’s him!” the Professor exclaimed, dropping the books he was holding to the ground. “Get her out of here, Daniel. Now!”

  I followed the Professor with my eyes as he ran past us into the parking lot. The shadow quickly ran off into a blur, melting into the darkness at his approach. But that was all I saw before Daniel began to drag me across the parking lot like a rag doll to his car. Quickly tossing me in, we sped off into the night before I had a chance to realize what was happening.

  “Where are we going?” I angrily demanded when I finally came to my senses.

  “Our house. You’ll be safest there, we have the advantage in numbers. Lucy, Thomas and Lily are still here.”

  Eyes wide with some unknown emotion, he was staring straight ahead and gripping the steering wheel so tightly I thought it might snap in half.

  Of all places, that was dead last on the list of places I wanted to go right now.

  “I’d rather go back to my room if it’s all the same with you,” I snapped back, thoroughly irritated with him.

  “Well, it isn’t alright with me,” he replied angrily as he whipped his head my way. Maybe it was the shadows in the car, but under the glow from the dashboard lights, his eyes looked darker, sitting above faint gray circles.

  “Well, maybe I don’t care if it is. As far as I’m concerned you no longer have a say in what happens in my life.”

  I was yelling now. I couldn’t care less about his anger or dark eyes. Maybe I should, but I had enough dealing with my own emotions, let alone worrying about the feelings of a liar.

  “I love you! What right do I get for that?” he yelled back.

  I looked out the side window and mumbled “Hollow words.”

  “Hollow? Did you say hollow? What is that supposed to mean? Damn it, I love you! What more do I have to do to prove that to you, Sara?”

  Still looking out the window I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t going to fall for this again. I knew the truth now and wasn’t going to let him pry his way back into my affections. That said, it took every ounce of strength I had not to burst into tears, throw my arms around his neck and tell him how much I loved him with every breath I had. Because I did, always and forever. Unfortunately, the Daniel I loved was a lie – just like the vampire seated next to me in the dark, lying that he loved me.

  I didn’t answer him, but sat there in stony silence, my arms crossed tightly in front of me. I didn’t even steal one glance his way the rest of the drive up the mountain. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

  As he pulled onto the long driveway, I could hear the sound of gravel flying as we raced down the road and straight into the garage where we came to a screeching halt. When Daniel got out of the car, he slammed his door so hard I thought it might fall off its hinges. So this is what he looks like really angry, I thought to myself. Without a word he yanked my door open, reached in and pulled me out by my arm then practically dragged me into the house. He didn’t let go until he roughly flung me onto the sofa where I landed with a soft thud.

  Staring down at me, his jaw set tightly, I could tell he was at a loss for what to say to me. I looked away. I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want to be here or be anywhere near him. Sitting there in something of a state of shock, I began to wonder how hard it would be for me to sneak out of here undetected by them. It didn’t seem likely I’d fare well with that. Behind me, I heard Daniel make a derisive humph and begin to pace the length of the room.

  “What’s going on?” Thomas asked as he came around the corner.

  “We spotted the blood hunter on campus. Randall took off after him while I brought her up here,” Daniel shot back, storming around the room aimlessly as if he couldn’t control some pent up rage inside himself.

  I gently cradled my arm where he’d yanked me out of the car. It throbbed and I could feel the tears in the back of my eyes begging to come out from the physical pain of it. I took a deep breath and tried to push them back. If they came now, I knew the ones behind them, the ones I’d buried there over Daniel would surely follow, and this was the last place on Earth I wanted to have an emotional breakdown.

  “A blood hunter? Here?” Lily asked, now in the room as well. She was about to ask why when Thomas gestured my way.

  “Of course,” she said. “I’m surprised it’s the first time.”

>   “It’s not,” Daniel answered. “He’s been stalking her. I’m not sure for how long. I’m pretty sure Randall knows though. I think he wanted to kill her last night, but decided against it because – she was tainted.”

  “Tainted?” I looked up in surprise. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  I was feeling a little offended. Did he know about Ben? I hope the memory of those soft, warm lips didn’t flash in my eyes the way it hit me inside.

  Thomas, Lily and now Lucy stared down at me like I had a scarlet letter embroidered on my chest.

  “She was drunk,” Daniel said with thinly veiled disgust in his voice.

  “Oh,” they all said in unison as if his answer made perfect sense.

  “I don’t get it,” I said.

  “You tainted his prize,” Lucy said sarcastically. “The blood hunter didn’t want to drink your precious pure blood if it was full of booze.”

  Then she dropped down into the chair opposite me. I swear she was looking at my hair again. I instinctually reached up to see if any had fallen out of my pony tail with all the yanking that had gone on.

  “So what now?” Lily asked sounding genuinely concerned.

  “I don’t know,” Daniel said. “We wait for Randall to come back. Hopefully, he’s – taken care of it.”

  A few hours passed and the Professor had yet to return. Other than leaning over on the arm of the sofa with my good side, I hadn’t moved from my spot on the couch. My shoulder joint ached immensely, and the large black and blues forming on both my arms desperately made me wish I had some aspirin. Sitting there alone in the living room, I rolled my eyes at myself. I felt pretty sure it wouldn’t do any good to go asking for an aspirin in a house full of vampires. They’d all left the room over an hour ago and I wasn’t going to get up anyway. I preferred the solitude I had here in front of the fire. Breathing deeply, I closed my eyes and listened to the crackle and pop of the fire Daniel had started and the voices of the four vampires back in the kitchen. If I concentrated, I could just make out what they were saying. It sounded like stories of other blood hunters they’d come across in their time.