One in a Million

by Susan Mallery

  Nash’s eyes darkened. “That’s sad.”

  She held up a hand. “Don’t look stricken. I recovered. I’m just saying more kids around would have been really nice. At least you always had Kevin.”

  “Not just him, but Gage and Quinn, too. We were always over at each other’s houses. Gage, Kevin and I are the same age and Quinn is only a year younger, so we hung out all the time. Our moms were friends, as well.” He leaned his head back on the sofa cushion. “We used to say we were like brothers. Ironically, that turned out to be true.”

  “Where is the mysterious Quinn?” she asked. “I keep hearing about him, but I’ve yet to see him.”

  “He works for the government. Some secret branch of the military. His work takes him around the world and he’s not always accessible. Gage left a message and as soon as he gets it, he’ll show up.”

  “He sounds a little dangerous. Why am I picturing a guy all in black and carrying really big guns?”

  “I don’t know, but that sounds like Quinn.”

  She shivered. “Not my kind of guy. Was he scary when you were growing up?”

  “Not scary, but a bit of an outsider. He and his dad didn’t get along.” Nash frowned. “I guess Ralph isn’t really his father anymore. Not biologically.” He looked at her. “Ralph and Edie couldn’t have kids of their own. It’s a complicated story.”

  “I think it’s great that their mom helped out your mom when she was abandoned by her own family. Even if you and your brother didn’t know you were related to Gage and Quinn, you still got to grow up as close friends.”

  “I’m glad Edie was a caring person. My mom was in a hell of a bad situation.” He shook his head. “Barely eighteen, with babies. What kind of parents would throw their daughter out of the house under those conditions? Edie was really there for her.”

  He reached out and covered her hand with his. “Who’s there for you, Stephanie?”

  The question surprised her. “I have friends. In a pinch they would come through.”

  “What about on a day-to-day basis?”

  “Unfortunately there aren’t a lot of people lining up to play second string,” she admitted. “But I do okay.”

  “Is okay good enough?”

  This line of conversation could lead to very dangerous territory, she thought. Dangerous and tempting. While she might not mind fantasizing about Nash stepping in to provide backup, reality was very different, and she had to remember to keep the two worlds separate.

  “Hard question to answer, as I don’t have a choice in the matter.” She squeezed his fingers. “Hey, let’s change the subject. Your entire responsibility for me consists of pleasing me in bed. Nothing more.”

  He studied her as if he wanted to say more, then nodded.

  “They were talking about our father tonight,” he said. “Earl Haynes was something of a bastard.”

  “I’ve heard bits of gossip over the past few years.”

  “He slept around and didn’t seem to care about his wife or sons. All the brothers worry that they’ll turn out like him.”

  “From what I’ve seen, none of them have. Are you worried, too?”

  He shrugged.

  She leaned close. “You can let that one go.”

  “Why? How do you know I’m different? I’m sleeping with you.”

  “Yes, but that’s simply proof of your excellent taste.”

  The corners of his mouth curved up. “You think?”

  “I know.”

  They were close enough that she could inhale the scent of him and feel his heat. Wanting flooded her, but she didn’t act on the need. Part of it was she wanted to give the boys a few more minutes to fall asleep, and part of it was how much she liked the anticipation. After so many years of chaste living, it was fun to suddenly feel like a sex kitten.

  “Having the information about your father means that you get to make informed choices,” she said. “You know what to look out for.”

  “One of your choices was staying with Marty,” he said. “Was it a good one?”

  She sighed. “As far as my sons are concerned, yes. I wouldn’t give them up for anything. But as far as making me personally happy in my marriage, no. Marty wasn’t a good choice.”

  He reached out and stroked her cheek. “Are you okay? Financially?”

  “Didn’t we already have this conversation?” she asked.

  “Yes and you didn’t answer the question.”

  “Let me guess. You’re not going to let it go until I do, right?”

  He nodded.

  She knew she could shut him down by pointing out that none of this was his business. But Nash wasn’t asking out of anything but concern. Although she had no clue what he would do if he thought she was in need. Offer her a low-interest loan?

  The thought was mildly amusing, but not much of a distraction. Was she going to tell him the truth or not?

  She settled on the truth because she’d never been a very good liar.

  “We’re doing okay,” she said slowly. “I’ve told you what life was like with Marty so you know that there wasn’t a lot of extra cash each month. I held down the only steady job in the family, so that made things tight. When Marty got the inheritance, it seemed like a miracle.”

  “I was surprised when you told me he’d agreed to buy a house. It doesn’t sound like his style.”

  “Oh, it wasn’t. We had huge fights. In the end, he gave in, but with a twist. We bought this place instead of a regular single-family home.”

  She glanced around at the high ceilings of her third-floor living area. “At first I hated it. The last thing I wanted was a big mortgage and a lot of remodeling. When Marty died, I was furious. I’d been left with this disaster. But over time, I realized it was the best thing that could have happened. We get a lot of tourists up here, and many of them love the idea of staying at a bed-and-breakfast. I’ve been able to do most of the remodeling myself, which has saved a lot of money. I make my own schedule, and I’m here when the boys get home from school. A regular job would mean day care and that would be financially impossible.”

  “Interesting information,” he said, “but you haven’t answered the question.”

  “We do okay,” she told him. “Some months are tight, some aren’t. I did manage to keep a small life insurance policy up on Marty so when he died there was some money from that. I put it away. If push comes to shove, it’s my emergency fund. Fingers crossed I never have to use it.” She held up one hand.

  “If all goes well,” she continued, “I’ll use it to pay for the boys’ college. So I’m fine. Really.”

  He smiled. “You’re more than fine. You’re responsible, giving and a great mom.”

  His compliment pleased her, which she told herself was silly. Still, she sat a little straighter and fought the urge to beam.

  “I try.”

  “You succeed.”

  She shifted and, still facing him, leaned against the back of the sofa. “Okay, fair’s fair. You got to ask me a very personal question and now I get to do the same.”

  “All right.”

  She thought about all the possibilities and settled on the one that troubled her the most.

  “Tell me about your wife.”

  She watched closely, but Nash’s expression didn’t change.

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Whatever you want to tell me. Whatever…”

  Her voice trailed off as a horrifying thought occurred to her. Did he not want to talk about the woman because she still mattered so much? He’d claimed not to be thinking about her when they made love, but what if he’d been lying? What if there were ghosts who—

  “That’s not the reason,” he said.
r />   She blinked at him. “What are you talking about?”

  “I’m hedging because I don’t know what to say about her, not because I’m heartbroken.”

  “That’s a relief.” She pressed her lips together. “Wait a minute. How did you know what I was thinking?”

  “It was a logical assumption.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  She didn’t buy that for a second. But what other explanation could there be? How strange that Nash knew her so well after just a short period of time, and despite all their years together, Marty had never known her at all. Was Marty’s lack of knowledge due to some flaw within him, or had he never found her all that interesting?

  “When I started working for the FBI,” he said, “I quickly learned that emotional detachment was an asset. Nearly every situation is difficult on some level and leading with your heart is a good way to make the wrong decision. Staying emotionally distant was something I’d learned while I was growing up and it served me well at the bureau.”

  Having heard about his close family, Stephanie couldn’t imagine how or why Nash would detach. Sometimes he seemed a little distant with his family, but that could have been shyness or emotional reserve. Nothing about his relationship with her and her kids indicated he was anything but emotionally available, but this wasn’t the time to go into that particular subject. She filed the question away to spring on him later.

  “I’ve told you a bit about Tina. She was my opposite. Emotional, disorganized, leading with her heart instead of her head. I wasn’t even sure I liked her at first.” His gaze narrowed slightly. “I’m talking about after she was an agent. I never considered her as anything but a coworker during training.”

  “Of course not,” she murmured, believing him. Nash would never break that kind of rule.

  “Dating led to more dating. After a while Tina suggested we live together. Marriage seemed like the next logical step.”

  How interesting, she thought. Had Tina been the one guiding the relationship? Nash almost made it sound like he was only along for the ride.

  “How old were you when you got married?” she asked.

  “Twenty-seven.”

  Okay—the right age for most guys to think about settling down. So had Tina been in the right place at the right time? Not a question she would be asking.

  Stephanie resisted the urge to slap herself upside the head. She knew exactly what she was doing. If she could convince herself to believe Nash had married Tina because it was “time” and not because he was wildly in love with her, somehow that would make Stephanie feel better about their relationship. Crazy but true. She told herself to get over it.

  “You didn’t have a chance to have kids,” she said. “I guess she passed away before you got around to that.”

  He shrugged. “We never talked about it. I always wanted children. I guess Tina did, too. Then she was killed.”

  “How?” she asked before she could stop herself.

  “In the line of duty. A bomb exploded.”

  She’d been expecting a lot of answers, just not that one. A bomb sounded so violent. Because it was violent, she thought. Violent and unexpected and shocking.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  “Thanks.”

  Nash’s expression hadn’t changed as he talked, but there was something in his eyes that tugged at her heart.

  “Want to talk about this more or change the subject?” she asked.

  “Let’s move on.”

  “Okay. So how did a guy with a twin brother and close friends learn to disconnect emotionally while he was growing up?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “Easier than you might think. My mom married a guy when Kevin and I were twelve. Howard and I never got along.”

  That surprised her. “Still? But he and your mother are expected the day after tomorrow. Is that going to be a problem?” She frowned. “Why on earth did you want them staying here if you two aren’t speaking?”

  “We’re speaking. And we get along.”

  The words sounded right, but she wasn’t sure she believed them. “You’re not going to be yelling at each other in the foyer, are you?”

  “No. If there’s any yelling, we’ll do it outside where it belongs.”

  She smiled. “Fair enough. So is this emotional detachment you’re so fond of the reason you haven’t gotten involved with anyone else since your wife’s death?”

  “No. I’ve avoided relationships because I loved Tina and I can’t ever love anyone else again.”

  Stephanie stared at him for several heartbeats, then burst out laughing. “Oh, come on. That’s ridiculous. You can’t love again? Did we move from real life to a TV soap? Are you saying the human heart is capable of only loving once? What about my three kids? Should I send the twins back because I already loved Brett when they arrived?”

  Nash looked as shocked as if she’d pulled a gun on him. The charged silence between them made her wonder if she’d gone too far. He couldn’t be serious about not loving again—people didn’t work like that. But did he believe it? Had she just insulted him big-time?

  She waited anxiously as he stared at her. She couldn’t read his expression…not until one corner of his mouth twitched.

  “You’re not buying my best line?” he asked at last.

  Relief swept through her. “Not for a second. Who has?”

  “Everyone but you.”

  “I see. Are these ‘everyones’ women?”

  “For the most part.”

  “Then you need to start dating women with slightly higher IQs.”

  He laughed and grabbed her around the waist, then hauled her onto his lap. “I prefer my women to have a little more respect than you do, missy.”

  She settled her hands on his shoulders and brushed his mouth with hers. “That so isn’t going to happen as long as you talk like an idiot.”

  “Idiot, huh? I’m one idiot you can’t resist.”

  She leaned in to kiss him again. “You’re right about that,” she whispered and gave herself up to him.

  Chapter 12

  “Batter up,” Brett called, as he tossed the baseball in the air and caught it. “Adam, it’s your turn.”

  Adam walked to the square marked on the grass in front of the house and clutched his bat. From what Nash could tell, Adam might be the quieter twin, but he was the better athlete. So far he’d been the one to hit the ball every time Brett pitched it.

  Brett pitched a slow ball and Adam swung. There was a crack as the bat connected, then the ball flew directly back to Brett who had to jump to catch it.

  “Good hit,” he called to his brother.

  Nash stood at the end of the porch, leaning against the house. The boys were playing in the side yard to, as Stephanie put it, “Avoid as many windows as possible.”

  The late morning was warm and clear—the perfect weather for the start of summer vacation.

  The boys had tumbled out of bed surprisingly early, apparently too excited by the thought of no school to sleep late. Stephanie had predicted their behavior, which meant she’d left his bed around four in the morning. He’d slept until he’d heard not-so-quiet footsteps on the stairs about quarter to seven. He was tired and his eyes felt gritty, but lack of sleep was a small price to pay for spending the night with a woman who defined female beauty and sexuality.

  He quickly checked his thoughts, knowing that if he dwelled on all they’d done together while in bed, he would end up in a very uncomfortable state. It didn’t seem to matter how many times they made love; he always wanted her more. Last night had been no different.

  He heard the front door open, then the sound of footsteps on the porch.

  “They should be here any minute,” S
tephanie said as she stopped beside him and leaned against the railing. She glanced at him. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay with your mom and stepfather staying here?”

  He smiled. “I’m more than fine. I’m actually looking forward to their visit.”

  She didn’t look convinced. “I would buy that a lot more easily if you hadn’t told me you and your stepfather didn’t get along.”

  “The problem’s all on my side,” Nash admitted, for the first time feeling comfortable with the truth. “Don’t worry.”

  “I’ll try not to.” She turned toward the street, as if watching for cars. “If they’re going to be staying here, we’re going to have to be more careful about our sneaking around.”

  “Good point.” One he hadn’t considered.

  She turned back to smile at him. “It will make things more exciting.”

  “I don’t think that’s possible. Not without one of us having a heart attack from the stress.”

  Her smile broadened. “Are you saying your affair with me is stressful?”

  “I’m saying it’s already more exciting than I thought possible. More excitement could be dangerous.”

  “But you’re a big tough guy. Don’t you live for danger?”

  Her teasing words produced a predictable reaction. He ignored the sense of heat and heaviness flooding south. Good thing, too, because about eight seconds later a four-door sedan pulled up behind his rental car.

  “They’re here,” he said.

  Stephanie straightened. The humor faded from her eyes, replaced by worry. “Do I look okay?”

  Despite the potential for an interested onlooker, he leaned forward and dropped a kiss on her mouth. “You look perfect.”

  Her expression cleared. “Excellent answer.”

  They walked to the porch steps, then onto the pathway. As they approached, the car doors opened. Nash’s mother, Vivian, stepped out onto the sidewalk and smiled.