The Second Yes

by Amanda Tru

  Jessica Seaver stood behind the glass counter. She had a shock of wild, slightly frizzy red hair that she tried to contain under a bandana, creamy white skin that looked almost artificial it was so smooth, and big green eyes made more visible because of the horn-rimmed glasses she wore. Traci had always liked her and wished she had a part of her inside that could so blatantly set a style for herself.

  “Traci?” Jessica greeted, her eyes wide. “Is your mom okay?”

  “Mom’s okay.” She looked around at the displays of flowers, the hanging baskets of plants, the balloons caught in the net behind the desk, then finally back at Jessica. “I know. I can’t believe I’ve never been in here before, either.”

  “So you’re here about the wedding, then?”

  Surprised, Traci opened her mouth then closed it again. “Uh…”

  “It’s okay. We’ve got you covered.”

  “How’s that?”

  Jessica raised an eyebrow. “You have the butterfly binder, right?”

  “Yes. Yes.” Almost weakly she added, “The butterfly binder.”

  Jessica reached underneath the counter and pulled out a file folder. She cleared the spot on the glass counter and opened the file. “It’s all here. We’ve already ordered the butterflies that will be ready to release on the big day. June twenty-second, if I’m not mistaken.”

  “Butterflies?” Her eyebrows came together in a frown. “Have you been talking to Travis about this?”

  “Yes, of course. And your mom.”

  “And my mom?” She took a deep breath through her mouth to try to avoid smelling as many flowers as possible and looked up at the ceiling. Finally, she said, “I don’t want you bothering my mom with this.”

  “Uh, Traci, she called me.”

  “Nevertheless.”

  “Traci, we’ve known each other for a long time, and I’ve known your mom for even longer. I’m going to say this without an ounce of offense intended. This is her world, not yours. You’re not exactly…” She pressed her lips together then said, “Tell me why you don’t want her to help you. You know nothing could bring her more joy.”

  Traci carefully constructed the next sentence. “She is very weak. She’s using every ounce of her energy just to stay alive. If I handed my wedding over to her, it would consume her waking thoughts and she likely wouldn’t live to witness the day. I’d rather have her there than have her die planning it.”

  Immediately, Jessica’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize she was that level of sick.”

  Traci nodded. “She is that level of sick.” Clearing her throat, she stepped forward so she could see the paper inside the folder. “So, apparently, I am releasing butterflies?”

  “Yeah, uh,” Jessica slipped her fingers under her glasses and wiped at her eyes then continued, “that was Travis. He said with all the focus on butterflies throughout your mom’s binder that it would be a beautiful way to honor her.” She grabbed a pencil out of a terra-cotta pot next to the register. “I can cancel the order of course.”

  Some female part of her heart bloomed open with the thoughtfulness of Travis, at the way he put his own personal touch on something that didn’t have room for any further personal touches due to her mother’s already meticulous and detailed planning. “No. Please. That sounds perfect.” She skimmed the other words in the file. “Is everything in order for the flowers, or was there more information needed? I am not going to counter my mom at this point, since she’s already called you, but I’ll take over from here.”

  Jessica ran her finger along the list. “Nope. Looks like it’s all in order. I’ll need to know the number of attendants. That should be about all the more input I’ll need.”

  Relief at not having to make those decisions made her smile. “Great. Perfect. Thank you. I’ll get back with you on the attendant thing.”

  Jessica smiled broadly. “Okeydokey!”

  Escaping as quickly as she could, she left the shop. Once outside, she took deep breaths of clean air and headed toward her office again. As she walked, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed her mom’s number.

  “Traci,” her mom said enthusiastically, “you never call me in the middle of a shift!”

  “Yeah, I, uh, took a quick break and went to Two Sisters.”

  “Did you see the flowers we talked about?”

  “Mom, I need you to stop.”

  She stopped walking so she could focus all of her attention on her mother’s tone. “Stop what?”

  “Do not plan this wedding. You’ve already planned it. I have the…the butterfly binder, right? Please trust me to know how to follow your very detailed instructions to know what to do next.”

  After several seconds of not speaking, Michelle finally asked, “Why not? Why can’t I make a simple phone call to people that I have communicated with as part of my job every day since I’ve been in business?”

  Traci lifted a hand in greeting as someone walked by her and turned her body to block anyone from overhearing. “Because, Mama, you’re not working today, are you? You’re on terminal sick leave. Your body is using all of its energy to keep you alive. The less energy you put into other things, the more you’ll have for when there’s a detail I actually need your help with.”

  “You’re expecting me to sit in my rocker like an old woman. I’m forty-years-old. I can work.”

  Emotion forced her to clear her throat to keep speaking. “Just to prove you can? Please, Mom, just relax. Go get your hair done. Spend a spa day.” With her mom’s strangled sound of frustration, she said, “I have an idea. Why don’t I come over and show you what I’ve accomplished for the day? Okay? You can approve, suggest changes, and give me names and numbers, and I’ll do all the leg work.”

  After a few seconds, her mom said, “I think I’d like that very much.”

  Feeling like she’d just averted a major interpersonal crisis in a relationship already on a weak foundation, she smiled. “Great. I’ll see you after my shift.”

  Before continuing to her office, she stepped into Travis’ school. She had a five-minute window before he started his next class. She walked into the lobby and looked through the window into the dojang. He sat on the mat next to a little girl and helped her put her body in the right position to stretch. Surprised, Traci noticed all of the students were children, even this early in the day and realized that this was the new homeschool group. She tapped on the window and waved when he looked up and saw her.

  The smile that crossed his face made her heart leap in her chest and her breath catch in the back of her throat. Why did just seeing him do this to her? She smiled back and waited for him to finish before he sprang up and jogged barefoot to the door.

  He wore a black dobak. An American flag patch adorned one shoulder, the red and yellow dragon emblem of his school adorned the other shoulder. Around his waist, he wore his black belt with five gold stripes, called dans, on one end and his name in gold hangul on the other end. He came through the door and walked toward her.

  “Hey. Everything okay?”

  As soon as he stood close enough to touch, she put her hands on his face and kissed him. At first, he put his hands on her waist, but after a few moments, they slipped around her and pulled her closer. When she broke the kiss and stepped back, he raised an eyebrow, looking her up and down, from the toes of her boots to her sheriff deputy uniform to the top of her head. “What was the for, officer?”

  “Deputy,” she corrected automatically, then said, “Star. Not a badge. Thanks for the butterflies.”

  For a moment he looked confused, then he grinned. “Well, I’ll have to do something like that again if this is how you act about an order of insects.”

  She kissed him hard and quick again. “I love you. I’ll see you later.”

  On her way out, she paused and looked back at him. “I’m having dinner with my mom to talk about the wedding details I arranged today. Would you like to join us?”

  He shook his head
. “I have an eight o’clock practice with the team in the competition this weekend. But next time?”

  “Sure. I’m sure there will be a lot of times.” Laughing, she walked out of the school and down the street to her office.

  Travis stepped onto Traci’s porch and settled into the chair next to her. Around them, the town lay silent in the late evening. He looked forward to the day that he could call this coming home.

  Traci tilted her head toward him and smiled. “How was practice?”

  He’d started his day at five this morning. After five hour-long classes and a two-hour practice, his muscles ached with exhaustion and his eyes burned. “Good. They’ll do well.”

  “Aren’t you competing?”

  He’d registered, but lost a lot of practice time with Michelle in the hospital. “Not this time.” Reaching for her hand, he asked, “How did dinner go?”

  “She is really energetic about this.” Her voice sounded tired. “I want her not to work. I need her to rest.”

  “I get that, Traci, but she’s a grown woman. The doctor has given her all of the necessary information and she is making an informed decision. Despite your perspective, she’s not a child, she’s not frail, and she’s not mentally unsound.”

  She pulled her hand away. “Is that how I’m acting?”

  “It’s how you’re treating her.” He stood and moved so that he could stand her in direct line of sight. “Listen, I know you’re doing this because you love her. You want to step in and help her to make up for years of wishing she would just go away and leave you alone.”

  She opened her mouth as if to argue but then shut it again and looked at his feet. He didn’t intend to shame her. He didn’t intend to argue with her about it. He just wanted to help her just stop and trust God and relax about the fact that there was absolutely nothing she could do to change the past. “Just let her help you. You need it, she needs it. Let her listen to her body and be the one in charge of how she should feel.” Kneeling, he reclaimed her hand and she met his eyes again. “I think you’ve made a point to her and I think she got your message. Now, enjoy her. Love on her. While you can.”

  “You’re probably right.”

  He winked and grinned. “I think that is a good note to go forward on.”

  Straightening some, he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. “I’m going to go inside and root in your fridge. Hopefully, you have something I can eat so that I don’t have to leave so early.”

  She stood with him. “I brought you leftover chicken salad.”

  “You’re a rock star. But, sit. I can collect my own salad.”

  He slid open the glass door and stepped into her living room. Immediately, he noticed the open binder next to a yellow legal pad scribbled with notes in Traci’s handwriting. He walked through the orderly room and into the kitchen. In the fridge on an empty shelf, he found a plate of salad greens next to a small bowl of roasted chicken. In the door was a mason jar of vinegar and oil. Soon, he had his salad dressed and grabbed a fork out of the drawer, then took it outside.

  “You keep taking Michelle’s side, you know,” Traci said as he began to eat.

  While he chewed, he analyzed her words. “I’m not taking anyone’s side per se,” he said after swallowing. “I’m simply trying to get you to see things from my perspective. I’m on the outside of your relationship with her, and it’s puzzled me for a long time.”

  Linking her fingers together, she raised them above her head and stretched. “My father did not like me. I adored him. I remember them living together. I remember waiting and waiting for him to come home and I’d run over to him, and he’d do his best to get away from me. He never cuddled with me or even just watched television with me. He never played games with me or even called me any cute nicknames. He would call me Traci-girl. He was always reminding me I was a girl.”

  Travis thought about his own father, about how close he felt to him and how he knew his sisters adored him and sought his approval until the day a terrible accident took him away from them. “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “It’s what it is. They were fifteen. My grandfather tried to keep my mom from moving in with him since they weren’t married, but Mom insisted it was the right thing. When I was four, Dad made us leave so he could move his new family into our house. Mom moved home and my grandfather became my surrogate father.”

  Travis knew she never spoke to her father, even though he worked two blocks from the sheriff’s office. They’d been together at a restaurant once when he walked in with his family. Traci saw him come in, but nothing on her face gave away any hint of how she felt about it. She had just looked at him, then back at Travis and continued the conversation. If he hadn’t known it was her father, he never would have suspected she had even recognized him.

  “When I was twelve, I was on a softball team for the county. At practice one day at the ballpark, I saw him with his son.” Travis noticed she said son, not claiming him as her half-brother. “They were there for little league and he was so loving and attentive to that boy. I ran up to him to say hi, but he didn’t know who I was at first, then was very cool to me after. It’s the last time I really tried to talk to him.”

  Travis frowned. “Did he not have visitation?”

  With a shrug, she said, “He never pushed for it. My mom and grandpa never pressed him about it. I don’t even know if he ever paid any child support. Grandpa took care of everything. He was well off, and my mom lacked for nothing.”

  They sat in silence while he finished eating. Finally, he said, “Traci? Are you harboring some anger at your mom because of how your dad treated you?”

  In the moonlight, he could see the frown cover her face. “No. She didn’t do anything to hurt our relationship. But my mom never understood my desire to be more tomboy than girl. We had more fights about pants over dresses or pigtails versus bows than I can count. I wanted to play sports, she wanted me to dance. I wanted to join rifle and archery teams, she wanted me in home economics. Nothing I did pleased her. Nothing she wanted me to do pleased me. Honestly, we’ve been at odds my entire life.”

  He thought about what she’d said then asked, “Do you think your dad rejected you because you’re a girl?”

  She stood and took his empty plate from him. He followed her inside. “No. I just think he didn’t know what to do with me because I’m a girl. I think he wouldn’t have been afraid of a boy. But, what do I know?”

  After setting the plate in the sink, she looked at the clock on the stove. “I need to get to bed. I have a super long day tomorrow. We have a prison transport.”

  He opened his arms and she willingly stepped closer to him. He wrapped her tightly against him, savoring the contact. With his cheek next to hers, he closed his eyes and relaxed for the first time all day. “You be careful with your prison transport.”

  “I promise.”

  “In just a few weeks, this won’t have to be goodbye.”

  Without breaking contact with him, she lifted her head and looked into his eyes. He felt the pull of his desire for her as he looked down at her. “I know. I can’t wait.”

  Kissing her gently, he stepped away and broke contact. “I will see you tomorrow.”

  Smiling, she said, “Yes, you will.”

  Traci carried the gallon jug of lemonade into the kitchen just as Travis Seaver’s mother, Margaret Seaver, pulled the Easter lamb rib roast out of the oven, set it on a burner, then pulled out a large turkey. Traci looked over her shoulder as she set the pans on the ceramic trivets she’d laid out on the kitchen island. “Hi, honey. Go ahead and put that in the fridge for now. That way it can keep cool.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Traci said. She found a spot in the fridge and shut the door. When she turned back around, she saw Margaret dishing potatoes and carrots out of another roasting pan. Travis’ mother had taken a job as the high school secretary a week after her husband’s funeral and had worked there ever since. Travis and his sisters had been in elementary school at the t
ime. Margaret was barely five-four and had a compact, round body and somehow projected herself much larger and commanding than her actual size.

  She ran her household with an order that both impressed and intimidated Traci. She’d never reach that level of domestic accomplishment, nor did she want to. But she certainly admired the way that Margaret had balanced work and home.

  Traci asked, “Can I help?”

  “Hand me that platter over there.”

  She looked and saw a large platter lined with some sort of leafy green lettuce. She set it next to the pan of meat. Upon closer inspection, Traci realized the roast sat in a cake pan, the kind that made the hole in the middle. Bundt! Yes, a Bundt pan.

  With her hands protected by silicone gloves, Margaret lifted the roast out of the pan and set it in the center of the platter. Using heavy duty shears, she snipped at the string that she’d wrapped around the meat to hold it in place. Once she unwound the string, Margaret stepped back and examined it.

  Traci said, “That looks kind of like a crown.”

  “Well, that’s just perfect, then,” Margaret said. “It’s called a crown roast.”

  The back door opened and Travis came in, carrying a large bowl of potato salad. On his heels, his grandmother Betty Jasper followed. “Mammaw made potato salad,” he announced. “Enough for an army.”

  “Never have too much potato salad,” Betty replied. She went to Margaret and the women hugged, then she turned to Traci, arms out. “Happy Easter, Traci. Heard you’re finally making an honest man out of my boy here.”

  Traci laughed and hugged Betty, smelling the familiar smell of vanilla that always accompanied her. “I think he’s always been honest.”

  “Meh.” She stepped back and wagged a finger in her face. “Your mama’s been waiting too long, girl.”

  “Betty, I’m 25. Hardly an old maid.”

  “She was in my history class when she found out she was pregnant with you. That girl could’ve quit and took the easy road, but she didn’t. She came to school every day. Finished school, finished college.”