Miss Matched
Page 7
“Then could I get a monkey?”
“Not a chance,” he said.
At school, there were more nos.
“Can we take a field trip to California?” Fiona asked her teacher, Mr. Bland. They had just started talking about the California gold rush in social studies when Fiona brought it up.
“Sure,” said Mr. Bland. “We can leave tomorrow.” Only, he didn’t say it in a Fiona-you’re-a-genius-that’s-the-best-idea-I’ve-ever-heard kind of way.
“Oh, Boise Idaho!” said Harold Chutney, who apparently didn’t get that what Mr. Bland was really saying was N-O.
“He’s being sarcastic,” said Milo Bridgewater. “There’s no way they’d let us go to California for school.”
“Can we please get back to the gold rush?” said Mr. Bland. “If you don’t mind.”
Milo raised his hand and said, “How come we don’t ever get to go anywhere? In my old school in Minnesota, we used to go to the park and to the lake all the time.”
This isn’t Minnesota, Fiona wanted to say out loud. This is Ordinary, Maryland. And nothing much happens in Ordinary.
Mr. Bland puffed out his cheeks as the mean words started filling up his mouth. Here’s the thing about mean words: they want to get out. But Mr. Bland’s lips must have been pretty strong because he kept those words inside until he was able to swallow them down. And when all the puffiness left his cheeks, he cleared his throat. Then he said, “As a matter of fact, we are going somewhere.”
The whole class shouted “Where?” at the same time. Fiona gripped the sides of her desk and waited.
Mr. Bland smiled and said real slow on account of the fact that he liked kids to suffer. “To. The. Great. Ordinary. Fair.”
Fiona let go of her desk. She folded her arms across her chest. That wasn’t even close to California.
Everybody else must have noticed that too, because there was a lot of moaning and huffing from all sides. Mr. Bland said, “I guess nobody wants to hear about your part in this year’s fair.”
“I do,” said Milo.
Everybody quieted down after that, and Mr. Bland said, “Every year our school participates in the Great Ordinary Fair in some way or another. It’s a nice way to be a part of our community.”
“That might be fun,” said Milo, looking at Fiona for approval.
Fiona chewed on her Thinking Pencil. The fair might not be a trip to California, but it could still be okay, as long as they could be in charge of games or rides or even parking. Anything except . . .
“Maps,” said Mr. Bland. “Our class is in charge of handing out maps.”
Fiona moaned. “Not maps! Maps are just as bad as tearing tickets.” Which is what she’d had to do at last year’s fair. Oh boy, the paper cuts.
“I don’t want to hear any complaints,” said Mr. Bland.
“I like maps,” said Harold.
“Not these kind you don’t,” said Fiona. “These aren’t treasure maps, you know.”
Harold plugged his nose with his finger in a pout. “Oh.”
“What about parking attendants?” asked Fiona. “Could some of us maybe be parking attendants instead?”
“Mrs. Weintraub’s fifth grade has that covered,” he said.
“No fair.”
“Enough,” said Mr. Bland. “Now back to the gold rush.”
Shawn K. Stout doesn’t know anything about matchmaking, although she thinks that cheese and mustard make a great couple (especially between two slices of sourdough bread). She is the author of Fiona Finkelstein: Big-Time Ballerina!! and holds an MFA in Writing for Children and Young Adults from Vermont College of Fine Arts. Shawn lives and writes in Frederick, Maryland.
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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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This Aladdin hardcover edition May 2013
Text copyright © 2010 by Shawn K. Stout
Illustrations copyright © 2010 by Angela Martini
Originally published as Fiona Finkelstein Meets Her Match!!
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Designed by Jessica Handelman
The text of this book was set in Perpetua.
Library of Congress Control Number 2012946428
ISBN 978-1-4424-7405-5 (hc)
ISBN 978-1-4424-7404-8 (pbk)
ISBN 978-1-4424-7406-2 (eBook)