Moonwitch

by Nicole Jordan

  He tensed, his arms tightening around Selena as he remembered what she’d said about losing someone she loved.

  “What was his name?” Kyle murmured suddenly in the silence.

  Selena’s head moved on his shoulder as she lifted a puzzled glance. “Whose name?”

  Feigning nonchalance, Kyle raised a lock of her silken hair to his lips. “The man you were betrothed to.”

  “Edward.”

  Kyle took a deep breath. “You said you loved him.”

  “Yes,” she answered after a brief nod.

  Kyle longed to ask how much she had loved this Edward, but he couldn’t frame the question. He wanted to know precisely how deep that love had been and how it compared to what she felt for him…if she felt anything at all. He wanted her to soothe the savage jealousy that was raging in his breast. But his own feelings were too new, too raw and tender to risk rejection.

  And so instead of pressing her, he merely held her close in a wordless embrace.

  “Why did you ask about Edward?”

  Her tone was tentative, questioning, but he only murmured a disclaimer as he moved his lips gently against her hair. “I was curious.”

  Yet even as he said it, Kyle made a vow to himself: he would make her forget, if he could, the man she had loved. And with that vow came the fragile hope that he might someday succeed in winning Selena’s love for himself. Until now it hadn’t really been a fair test. He had never attempted to woo Selena or to earn her regard. He had done nothing to prove himself worthy of her. Indeed, at the beginning of their brief marriage, he had virtually ignored her in his effort to keep his distance and maintain his sanity.

  But all that would change.

  He would pursue her with every skill he possessed, with every ounce of charm and gallantry he could muster. He would court Selena properly, the way she deserved....

  Hearing her soft sigh, Kyle shifted his weight to gaze down at her, at her quicksilver eyes, which were searching his so intently. And as tenderly he brushed back the cloud of pale hair from her face, he renewed his vow. He would make Selena love him. And then he would ask her to share his bed, his children, his life.

  July, the onset of full summer. How could such a short span of time make such a difference in one’s life? Selena wondered as she reread the letter from her friend Beth in Antigua.

  Beth had written a lengthy epistle full of news from the island, including a postscript that said Selena’s stepmother, Edith, was expected to snare Avery Warner any day—a just reward, Beth declared, since they deserved each other. Yet only now, while Kyle was out in the fields and the girls had scattered to pursue their own amusements, had Selena found time to pen a reply.

  Her thoughts, as they had countless times during the past week since the night Kyle had come to her bed, soon turned to Kyle and her marriage, to her happiness, which ran quiet and deep. Her days were filled with small pleasures—pleasures that were sharpest when shared with Kyle…a glance, a smile, a brushing of hands. Her nights were filled with ecstasy.

  For long moments at a time she was even able to dismiss her misgivings about Danielle as mere imaginings. Indeed, it was only when Kyle was away from her that her doubts about their marriage returned to assail her. He wanted her physically, Selena was certain. He had proved that very thoroughly with his passionate lovemaking during all the wonderful nights he had visited her room. Yet she couldn’t dispel the haunting fear that Kyle’s feelings for her could never go beyond physical desire.

  Accordingly, she had examined in minute detail, over and over again, every word Kyle had said that first night. He had declared he wanted her for his wife, admitting his appreciation for her domestic skills. She made his life bearable, he’d said, even happy. But he had also asked her about Edward. The question had puzzled Selena at the time, yet the longer she considered it, the more it disturbed her. Had Kyle perhaps been trying to tell her something? Had he mentioned her love for Edward to prepare the way for his own revelation? Had he meant to admit that he loved Danielle, but then lost the courage?

  The possibility nearly drove her to distraction. She should never, Selena realized, have allowed Kyle to introduce such a disquieting subject and then suddenly drop it. She should have pressed him to explain. Even knowing he loved Danielle would be better than living with this dreadful uncertainty.

  And yet she couldn’t bring herself to ask the question that would end it, for with the end of uncertainty might also come the end of hope.

  She couldn’t forget, however, how easily Danielle Whitfield seemed to draw men’s love. That thought had been uppermost in Selena’s mind when she’d faced her duty and called at the mercantile to inquire how Danielle was faring. It concerned Selena to see her looking so pale. Danielle appeared subdued and saddened by her bereavement, yet she was facing her loss with a courage Selena couldn’t help but admire. So in spite of her jealous misgivings, Selena felt genuinely sorry when Danielle again refused any offer of help from her.

  At least Danielle had Orrin Chandler’s support. Orrin’s affection for the beautiful widow was quite apparent, yet her behavior was always so circumspect that Selena couldn’t tell if Danielle returned his feelings. And she didn’t feel, under the circumstances, that she had the right to ask about it.

  Orrin’s unhopeful pursuit of Danielle wasn’t the only relationship that concerned Selena, either. She had been worried that Lydia might somehow prevail on Tanner Parkington to elope, after all, and so she’d never relaxed her vigilance.

  It seemed, however, that Parkington was too honorable and too intelligent to jeopardize his future by plunging them into a scandal, for he barely made time to speak to Lydia. Indeed, the young man was taking his responsibilities as factor so seriously that he was in grave danger of offending his love.

  Selena had been in the hall outside the schoolroom when she overheard Felicity taunting Lydia about it.

  “Well, that’s no reason to snap at me,” Felicity protested after she had just been called “a little beast” by her elder sister. “You’re just miffed because Tanner Parkington is paying more attention to our cotton fields than to you.”

  “He is not!” Lydia retorted. “Tanner loves me.”

  “I don’t know what you see in him, anyway. I think he’s boring.”

  “No one asked your opinion.”

  “Well, I’m never going to fall in love and allow some man to break my heart.”

  “You needn’t be concerned that any man would be interested in breaking your heart. No doubt you’ll remain a spinster all your life.”

  “Exactly! I don’t intend to marry,” Felicity announced airily. “I mean to manage my own plantation.”

  “Girls can’t manage plantations.”

  “They can so! Selena did. She told me.”

  “Oh, why don’t you just go away, Felicity?”

  Zoe spoke up then in her soft voice, reminding Felicity that she had lessons to finish, and so it wasn’t necessary for Selena to intervene in the dispute or even to mention that she had overheard it when she entered the schoolroom a few minutes later. Yet the knowledge that Lydia was discussing her affaire with Tanner openly and no longer keeping it a secret relieved Selena and gave her reason to hope that at least one problem at Montrose would eventually work itself out.

  After she had finished her letter to Beth, Selena’s thoughts turned to another matter: Kyle’s interest in steamboats. The previous day, when Bea and Thaddeus had come to dinner, Thaddeus had mentioned that in the next session the members of the legislature planned to address the need for a regular steamboat service for Natchez. It would be a perfect opportunity, Selena realized, for Kyle to pursue his venture.

  She was aware that Kyle had given up the idea of starting a steamboat company, at least temporarily, for the sake of the plantation and his sisters, but she desperately wanted him to be happy in his chosen occupation. Despite his success with the plantation, despite his avowal that he was growing accustomed to working the land, Kyle wasn
’t a farmer. What he needed was interests and challenges outside his plantation and family.

  And perhaps she had another more selfish reason, Selena reflected. Kyle had refused her dowry out of a sense of honor, because he didn’t want to feel like a “blasted fortune hunter,” or so he’d said. Yet she still wasn’t certain he wanted to remain married to her. It would provide some measure of compensation, Selena decided, if she could supply the means that enabled him to pursue his dream. And in some twisted application of logic that originated more in her heart than her head, she rationalized that if Kyle accepted her dowry, he would be committing himself to her fully.

  That night, as they lay together in the warm darkness, Selena renewed their last discussion about steamboats by bringing up the subject of the legislative session. She was surprised when Kyle seemed less than enthusiastic about attending.

  “The legislative session?” he murmured. He found it difficult to focus his thoughts on business after the passion they had just shared.

  “You remember what Thaddeus said. Tomorrow the assembly plans to discuss the need for a regular steamboat service.”

  “Selena… it isn’t really crucial that I go.”

  “That wouldn’t be wise, would it? If you aren’t there to show your interest, the legislature may grant a charter to someone else. Besides, even if you mean to wait for a year or two before you purchase any steamboats, wouldn’t it be better for you to be in on the discussions at the start?”

  “Yes, I suppose so.”

  “Well, then, why don’t you attend?”

  Kyle hesitated, not wanting to admit the real reason for his reluctance. How could he woo and win Selena if he was away pursuing steamboat ventures? “Do you know how guilty I feel,” he prevaricated, “always leaving you here alone to shoulder the burdens of the plantation?”

  “Kyle, it isn’t a burden, truly. And I don’t want you to defer your venture because of me, certainly. I know how you feel about it—” Her tawny brows drew together in a puzzled frown. “You haven’t changed your mind about investing in a steamboat enterprise, have you?”

  “No.”

  “Then I don’t understand your indifference.”

  Because I’m busy courting you, blast it. Can’t you see that? Kyle wanted to say. Every day for a week he’d spent all his free time with her, and every night he had come to her room. But he seemed to be making little progress in winning Selena’s affection. “The legislative session may last all day,” he murmured, watching the moonlight play on her beautiful face.

  “Shouldn’t you leave early, then?”

  Am I doing something wrong? Like not acting enough of a gentleman? Or too much? he wondered. “I expect so,” he said finally. “And I suppose while I’m there I ought to contact an agent to discuss arrangements for shipping our cotton after the harvest begins.”

  “Good.”

  Kyle gave a sigh. He had hoped Selena felt the same bliss he’d felt during the past week, but it seemed as if she were anxious to be rid of him. Trying to bite back his frustration, he gently placed a finger under the delicate curve of her jaw. “Are you sure you will be all right here with the girls?”

  “Yes, of course.” She sounded mildly exasperated as well as amused. “It’s only for the day.”

  He didn’t like to be reminded how easily she could manage without him. He wanted her to need him, to miss him when he was away, to count the hours they were apart, as he did. He wanted her to ask him to stay.

  “At least young Parkington can be relied on to help you,” Kyle said lamely. “He’s proving even better a factor than I’d hoped.”

  “Kyle, we’ll be fine. And Tanner needs the opportunity to demonstrate his capabilities without your supervision.”

  He gave up. “Very well, I’ll go to Natchez tomorrow.” He pressed a tender kiss on her brow and gathered her close, trying not to dwell on his dissatisfaction or his deepening worry that he might never win her love.

  They were both silent for a moment while the warm night surrounded them and their separate thoughts.

  Beside him, Selena took a slow breath. Now was the time, she realized, to ask him about Danielle. “Kyle?” But when he glanced at her, Selena faltered. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t come right out and ask, “Do you love Danielle?” She didn’t dare, for fear of what his answer might be. “I hope the session goes well,” she murmured, instead. “I want you to be happy.”

  Hearing the wistful note in her voice, Kyle took heart. “Do you, Moonwitch?” His eyes glowed with golden fire as he slowly bent his head again. “Not more, I think,” he said against her lips, “than I want happiness for you.”

  Her breathing quickened in response, even before he slid his hand up the quivering sleekness of her belly to mold the fullness of her breast. When she arched against him with unconscious abandon, Kyle responded with conscious delight.

  Slowly, without words, he roused her, intending to show her just how much she meant to him, how much he needed and wanted her love. His hands skimmed her body, touching, caressing, claiming for his own the alluring, eloquently lovely lady who had wrapped herself around his heart.

  Shortly after Kyle left the next morning, Saul’s wife, Lukey, was delivered of a strapping baby boy. Selena was present both at the birth and later, when Saul was allowed into the cabin to hold his son.

  Seeing the tenderness light Saul’s dark face as he gazed at his wife and child, Selena couldn’t help but remember his fierce protectiveness when he had thrown himself in the path of Whitfield’s lash. The memory made her wonder if Kyle would ever feel the same kind of deep love for her, and thinking of Kyle naturally led to thoughts of Danielle, as usually happened of late.

  That afternoon, Selena was inventorying supplies in the plantation’s store when she was surprised by a visit from the subject of her jealous thoughts. She looked up from contemplating bolts of cloth to find Danielle standing in the doorway.

  “I hope you don’t mind the intrusion,” Danielle said quickly. “I wouldn’t let Martha fetch you, for I didn’t want to take you away from your duties.”

  In spite of her recent thoughts, Selena gave her visitor a smile. Then she saw Clay standing behind his mother’s skirts and realized they must have come to see Kyle. “Kyle isn’t here, I’m afraid,” Selena admitted. “He went into town today and probably won’t be back till late.”

  “That’s all right… That is, you said I could call. But I don’t want to impose,” Danielle added in a small voice.

  Danielle had come to see her? Selena felt a moment’s surprise and then a fierce stab of guilt at the lukewarm welcome she had tendered. She should be giving comfort, not standing here wrapped up in her own concerns and jealousies.

  “Good heavens, it isn’t an imposition,” Selena insisted, abruptly dropping her bolts of cloth and coming forward to take Danielle’s hands. “Indeed, I’m delighted to see you. With Bea no longer living here and Kyle away, I’ve been rather lonely. I would be grateful for your companionship. Please, won’t you come back to the house with me? We can have tea.”

  “Well, actually…I thought I might help you here, instead… if you’d like.” Glancing around the store, Danielle flashed a self-conscious smile. “Orrin said I needed a rest—he wouldn’t let me work at the mercantile today. But really I prefer to keep busy.”

  “Of course… I would appreciate your advice.” And she meant it, for Danielle’s knowledge of merchandise and dried goods was extensive. More than that, Selena understood quite well Danielle’s unspoken need—that occupation could keep one’s depressing thoughts at bay.

  Just then Clay tugged on Danielle’s skirts. “Mama, Raysho.”

  Laying a gentle hand on his blond head, the auburn-haired woman looked a question at Selena. “Clay has been asking every day to see your parrot. Do you think he might be allowed?”

  Selena smiled down at the child. “Horatio will be delighted to have you pay him a visit. He has missed you most dreadfully.” When Clay gaze
d up at her and gave her his heart-stopping grin, Selena could see very well why Kyle had been so reluctant to give up his son.

  Danielle had brought along the elderly black woman who had been Jeremiah Whitfield’s nurse and now helped with Clay. When the servant had taken Clay into the house to view his friend the parrot, Selena asked Danielle how her son was faring.

  “Quite well, actually. He still doesn’t realize why Jeremiah is no longer lying in his bed.”

  “And you?” Selena asked gently. Danielle herself still looked pale and a bit weary.

  Her lips sketched a smile. “I’m recovering. Jeremiah had been ill for so long. I don’t think he wanted to live.” She paused before adding, “I wanted to thank you, Selena, for all the support you’ve given me. That’s really why I came today. And I thought it might give us the opportunity to become better friends, as you once suggested.”

  Selena’s acknowledgment was automatic, but even as she found herself agreeing out loud that a deeper friendship between them would be welcome, she had difficulty keeping her misgivings from showing in her expression.

  It wasn’t that she disliked Danielle; in truth, she liked and admired the red-haired woman a great deal. It wasn’t even that Danielle had borne Kyle a son; Selena thought she could have overlooked that indiscretion if she could be assured Kyle’s feelings for the beautiful widow went no deeper than appreciation.

  It was Kyle himself who stood between them. Selena knew she wasn’t being fair to let her doubts about Kyle color her view of Danielle. Yet she wasn’t certain she could be generous and unselfish enough to develop a cordial, intimate acquaintance with the woman who might very well have captured his love.

  Still, her innate sense of justice demanded that she try, and so during the next several hours as they worked together in the store, Selena made a sincere effort to cultivate their friendship.

  She succeeded better than she’d anticipated, for by the time tea had been served in the small parlor, she and Danielle had passed beyond polite chatter and social conversation and were almost on what might be called intimate terms. When the talk turned to children, Selena told Danielle about the new baby who had been birthed that morning on the plantation.