Moonwitch
Page 34
Selena tensed, afraid that it might be Kyle. Despite all her noble intentions, she wasn’t quite ready to confront him. But when she bid entrance, it was only Felicity who peered around the door.
“Selena, a peddler is here! You must come see the beautiful ribbons he has brought. If you like, I’ll buy you some with my pin money to cheer you up.”
Selena was beyond cheering, but she didn’t have the heart to refuse such a generous gesture. Fetching a purse filled with coins from her office, she accompanied Felicity out to the plantation yard.
The aging, unkempt peddler was engaged in retrieving wares from the hickory-withe panniers of his two pack mules and laying them out on a blanket. Zoe and Lydia were already there, as were Martha and a number of other house servants, all inspecting eagerly the strange assortment of goods—knives and handmade powder horns, thimbles and items of women’s apparel.
When Felicity asked the peddler if he had any more ribbons to show them, he gave her a gap-toothed grin and shuffled over to his swaybacked mare, where he proceeded to search through his saddlebags. Felicity followed, dragging Selena along with her.
The peddler had to dump a number of items on the ground to find what he was looking for, and the young girl grew impatient. “What is this?” Felicity asked, picking up a small earthen jar.
“‘Tis a pot of kohl, and not for a young lady like yerself.”
“Why not?”
“Felicity,” Selena said gently, “kohl is a cosmetic for the eyes.”
“Oh, paint.” The girl nodded wisely. “You mean it is only for females of questionable virtue.”
Selena was relieved that she needn’t respond, for Felicity was already examining the other wares. With a curious look, the girl held up a small packet of dried leaves. “Is this a cosmetic, too?”
“‘Tis a dye called henna,” the peddler answered. “Guaranteed to turn the hair red.”
“So that is how it is done.” Felicity made a face and let the packet drop. “Personally, I don’t see why anyone would want red hair.”
Her disdainful words struck an aching chord in Selena. When Felicity turned away to show her sisters the new ribbons, Selena eyed the henna leaves with a bitterness she couldn’t repress. Perhaps if her hair had been red, Kyle would have found her more appealing.
The thought sent an irrational surge of anger whipping through her, slicing through her despair. One last effort, she thought with wounded fury. She would make one final attempt to win Kyle’s interest before she gave him up to Danielle.
Clenching her jaw, Selena picked up the packet of hair dye. “I should like to purchase this,” she told the peddler, not allowing herself time to reconsider. “What is the price?”
The old man’s shaggy eyebrows drew together in a startled frown. “You want to buy the henna?”
“Yes,” Selena said defiantly, meeting his puzzled gaze.
And when he told her the price, she didn’t hesitate, but counted out the required coins with a determination born of desperation.
* * *
The sun was nearing the horizon as Kyle returned to Montrose. Saul came out of the smithy to meet him as he drove into the stable yard.
“Yes, Clay’s fine,” Kyle answered in response to the slave’s question. “A few scratches, that’s all.”
Saul shook his head. “Amazin’ the way chil’ren can git bounced on their heads and come up askin’ for more.”
“I know.” Their gazes met in agreement as Kyle handed over the reins. “Saul, I’m grateful for the help you gave me today. I won’t forget it.”
The black man grinned. “You already done enough for me, Massa Kyle. But you oughtta do somethin’ ‘bout that bluff.”
“Tomorrow we’ll fence it off,” Kyle said wearily as he climbed down from the carriage. He had spent the past several hours fetching a doctor to examine Clay and comforting both the child and his mother. Now all he wanted was to find Selena. “Do you know where I can find the mistress?”
“She was here more’n two hours ago, but I ain’t seen her since,” Saul replied. “You want I should see to the hosses?”
“Please. Give them a rubbing down, and then go back to your supper.” He turned to go, but then hesitated. “I understand congratulations are in order. A boy, was it?”
Saul’s mouth split into a wider grin. “Yassuh, Massa Ramsey. A fine boy. An’ the best part is, he’s gone grow up to be a free man.”
Kyle essayed a smile before making his way to the house, his urgency communicating itself in his long stride.
Inside the stable, Selena nearly panicked. She had been saddling her mare when Kyle arrived, so she had overheard most of his conversation. When she heard Saul coming into the stable, she dashed to the far end of the barn and slipped into an empty stall. She couldn’t face Kyle. Her attempt to turn her silver-blond hair to a fiery auburn had ended in disaster, while the desperate courage that had driven her to douse her head with the henna dye had totally deserted her. Now all she wanted to do was weep—and hide. She intended to seek refuge with Bea, if Bea would take her in.
She waited with feverish impatience for Saul to finish tending to the horses. If Kyle was intent on finding her, he might return at any moment. She had left a note for him—which seemed foolish now—saying she was visiting Bea.
Finally, though, Saul completed his task and left the barn. Selena returned to struggle with the heavy sidesaddle, all the while listening for the sound of familiar footsteps.
They weren’t long in coming. Desperately, Selena glanced around the stable, searching for a safe place to hide. Catching sight of the ladder that led to the loft, she scurried up it with a speed she hadn’t believed herself capable of. She had barely scrambled through the straw to the far corner when Kyle entered the barn.
Selena could hear every beat of her heart in the silence that followed. Kyle was inspecting her mare; she could tell. Then he was searching each of the stalls. She could almost see him looking around, wondering what had become of her.
“Selena?”
She held her breath, not daring to breathe.
“Selena, I know you’re here. You didn’t pass me on my way to the stables, and your mare is still in her stall. And the wisps of straw floating down from the loft give you away.”
Her shoulders slumped. She had been found out. “Please go away,” she replied, hoping she could convince him to leave.
As orders go, it lacked both power and conviction, and Kyle didn’t obey. In only a moment he had climbed the ladder to the loft. He paused, though, when he spied Selena. The heat in the loft was sweltering, yet she had huddled her arms about her, hugging her knees, as if she were terribly cold. Kyle’s gaze narrowed in concern. Sunlight was spilling through the chinks in the shutter, the final rays before sunset, yet he couldn’t make out her expression, for the brim of her bonnet shielded her face from view.
“Selena, is something the matter? Are you hurt?”
“No. I merely want to be alone.”
Her voice was soft and shaky, and it only increased his concern. “Very well,” he agreed, crossing the loft, bending low to avoid hitting the rafters. “You can be alone when you tell me what’s wrong.”
Sinking down beside Selena to his knees, he gently grasped her arms, making her lift her face. Then his mouth went slack as he stared at her. “Good God, what happened to your hair? It looks pink!”
There was no denying it was an odd color. What had been silver tresses was now a faint shade of orangey-pink that contrasted strangely with the plum-colored muslin of her gown.
Selena felt Kyle’s shocked gaze search her face, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes. She wanted to sink through the loft. Fortunately, though, pride momentarily came to her rescue, and her trembling chin came up. “I dyed it.”
“I can see that, but…in heavens name, why?”
“I was under the impression you liked red hair.”
Kyle chuckled softly as he loosened the ribbons of her bonnet and slid
it off her head. “I’m partial to red, yes, but I never much favored pink.”
“Don’t make sport of me!” Her eyes filling with tears, she buried her face in her hands.
Immediately Kyle swallowed his choked laughter. “Selena—” his fingers closed again around her arms, this time urgently “—please, will you tell me what this is all about?”
It was the final humiliation, having to confess. But it didn’t matter any longer how she humbled herself before him. After this she wouldn’t have to face Kyle again. She wouldn’t be seeing him again. She started to explain, but her throat was so tight she found it hard to speak. “I thought…if I had red hair… you might want me. But I must not have applied the henna correctly. I was supposed to steep the leaves—”
Kyle understood only the first half of what she had said. “Might want you?” he echoed. “Of course I want you.”
Sadly, Selena shook her head. “You don’t want me as your wife. You don’t love me—”
She suddenly found herself in a fierce embrace as Kyle wrapped his arms around her and drew her close. “You wonderful, brave, generous, incredibly beautiful female,” he breathed against her hair. “How could you think that? Certainly I love you. How could I not love you?”
Selena’s breath caught in her throat. “You…never said so.”
“That’s only because it took me a while to realize it,” Kyle said tenderly. “And then I was afraid to mention it until I was sure I stood a chance of winning your regard. I do love you, my darling Selena. Very much.”
She wanted desperately to believe him, and yet the image of him holding Danielle wouldn’t go away. “But Danielle…”
“What about Danielle?”
“The way you were holding her this afternoon—”
“I was comforting a hysterical woman, Selena. Danielle doesn’t have your courage, your inner strength. She couldn’t cope with losing Clay, not after all she’s suffered. She was frightened.”
Selena hesitated, remembering the child lying there so still and quiet. “I was frightened, too.”
“So was I,” Kyle declared fervently. “I thought… But it didn’t happen.” Sighing, he raised his hand to stroke her hair with a possessive gentleness. “Do you know how many times in the past few hours I’ve thanked God you were there? Doubtless you saved Clay’s life, Selena.”
“But I didn’t do anything.”
“You did. You kept your head, talking to him about that damned parrot. I couldn’t have reached him in time otherwise.”
She shuddered in Kyle’s embrace. “No, it was you. If you hadn’t come in time—”
“I have every confidence you would have thought of something, my brave, beautiful Moonwitch.”
Hearing the smile in his voice, Selena drew back to search Kyle’s rugged face. Sunbeams highlighted his thick hair with gold and increased the sharp clarity of his eyes, making it impossible for her to deny the love she saw there. She took a steadying breath, daring to believe. “I thought I had lost you,” she whispered, her voice nearly breaking.
His mouth curved with quizzical amusement. “Is that why you were leaving?”
“I thought I would stay with Bea until you could obtain a divorce.”
Kyle’s expression turned instantly sober, but Selena continued, determined to give him a final chance to reconsider. “Then you would be free to marry Danielle…and claim Clay as your son.”
Kyle held her gaze intently. “I suppose I should be grateful for your unselfish offer, but I’m not. Besides, your plan wouldn’t work. In the first place, I don’t want to marry Danielle, and she doesn’t want to marry me. She and Orrin are far better suited, and I imagine she’s already come to that conclusion. They’ll be married after a decent interval, no doubt. And in the second, I can’t marry Danielle. I already have a wife—whom I love very much.”
“But… what about Clay?” Selena said helplessly.
“I admit I would have liked to make him my son legally, but as you pointed out, it isn’t possible. I’ve come to terms with that. Besides, Orrin will make him a good father. I’ll settle a sum on Clay that he’ll inherit when he’s older. And it isn’t as if I’ll be giving him up entirely. He can come and play here with our children when we have them.”
“Our children?” Selena breathed, still not sure she wasn’t dreaming.
“Yes.” It was Kyle’s turn to be humble. He took her hand, gazing down at her slender fingers as if afraid to meet her gaze. “I haven’t been much of a husband to you, Selena. I don’t know if I can be, but I mean to try my damnedest. I intended to court you properly and win you, if I could—that was what I was trying to do this past week, though it didn’t seem to be working.” He hesitated, glancing up at her with a plea in his eyes. “Tell me it’s not too late, Moonwitch.”
“No,” she whispered. “It’s not too late.”
“I’m not what you deserve. I’m not nearly good enough for you—”
“Oh, Kyle.” She murmured his name on a sigh as she pressed her cheek against his solid chest. “You’re everything I want.”
“And do you think you could come to love me someday?”
She heard the uncertainty in his tone, felt the tension in his body, and her heart melted. “I love you now. I have for a long time.”
Kyle hesitated, still tense. “More than…what was his name? The man you wanted to marry.”
“Yes, more than Edward. I was so young then…a mere girl.”
His sigh was one of relief as his arms came around her. “You can’t imagine how jealous I was of him.”
“Yes, I can. I felt the same way about Danielle…and Angel… and that red-haired woman in New Orleans.”
“It sounds like you didn’t trust me.”
The laughter was back in his voice, and his teasing unfortunately reminded Selena of the tormenting jealousy she had endured during the past month or more. She stiffened, pushing against Kyle’s chest with an indignant look. “How could I trust you with so many women chasing you?”
“Selena, my love,” Kyle said with a smile as his mouth slowly descended, “I promised to be faithful—” he nuzzled her open lips in a tantalizing caress “—and I have been, body and heart.” His tongue slid inside her mouth, seeking hers.
Pressing Selena down into the straw then, Kyle proceeded to kiss her with a tender, arousing passion that left her breath erratic and her body throbbing.
He was breathing hard, too, when he finally drew away. “How,” he said with weak laughter as he propped himself up on one elbow, “could I ever look at another woman when I have you?”
Too dazed to move, Selena murmured a contented sigh in answer. She felt Kyle brush an escaping tendril back from her face.
“How could I not love you?” he repeated quietly. “You’ve shown me how to run this plantation, you’ve been a mother to my sisters, you’ve made it easy for me to be with Clay… I do love you, Selena. Every night for the past week I’ve tried to show you how much.”
Her eyelids fluttering open slowly, Selena gazed back at Kyle, watching his eyes, the green flecks swimming in a sea of gold. “I thought it was just physical desire.”
“No.” Kyle shook his head solemnly. What he felt for her wasn’t merely lust. It hadn’t been that for a long time, perhaps from the first. And yet passion was an integral part of his love for her. Quite aware now of his body’s throbbing hunger, he traced the delicate curve of her jaw. “Do you have any idea what torment I endured night after night, sleeping apart from you, knowing you were so close?”
“Then why did you avoid me for so long?”
“Because every time I got near, I couldn’t manage to keep my hands off you. And you let me know very clearly you wouldn’t welcome my advances.”
“That was only because you said you didn’t want me.”
His brows drew together in a frown. “When did I say that?”
“On your ship…that morning after the storm. I overheard you telling Mr. Hardwick.”
“I wish I had known.”
The creases in his cheeks deepened as his mouth curved in a teasing grin. “Serves you right for eavesdropping.”
“I wasn’t eavesdropping when I saw you kissing Veronique,” Selena replied archly.
“I didn’t kiss her, she kissed me.”
“Perhaps. But what about that night, and the next one? You didn’t return to the hotel.”
“Yes, I did, only it was late. I stayed out playing cards. I never saw Veronique again.”
She traced the lines of laughter around his eyes, feathering her fingers over his bronzed skin. “Truly?”
Kyle’s expression softened. “Yes, truly.”
“Well, I didn’t know that. And I was jealous. Especially after discovering that Angel and Danielle were also part of your past.”
“And that’s just where I intended them to stay, in my past.”
“But when we arrived here, you never came to my bed.”
“Selena, I told you why. I thought you didn’t want me to. Besides, you never came to my bed, either.”
“It wasn’t my place to make advances.”
Kyle chuckled at her prim reply.
“Well, how could I?” she protested. “You had told me I was passionless, and you blamed me for depriving you of your son and for taking away your freedom—”
“I never blamed you—at least not after I got used to the idea.”
Boldly, Selena encircled his neck with her arms. “Kyle, you know very well you didn’t want to marry me.”
She felt the laughter rumbling in his chest. “That’s only because I couldn’t see what a treasure I was getting. I’ve since come to realize that the smartest thing I ever did was kiss you on the streets of St. John’s.”
“Truly?”
His smile was an endearment. “Truly.”
Her arms tightened about his neck, never wanting to let go. Happiness, joy, delight were welling in her, filling her because this rugged, vital man belonged to her, every glorious inch of him. Quivering with the feeling, Selena drew back. “Kyle,” she said with sudden urgency, “make love to me.”