Restrained Under His Duty

by Stacey Kennedy

  Ryder begins to slide a hand toward me, obviously to comfort me, but he stops halfway and snaps his hand away. Turning to Alex, he asks, “Any idea where the hacker is located?”

  I ache for his touch, as I have ever since I realized things between us had suddenly changed. One day he was my dad’s chief of security. The next, he was something more. God, I need him so badly that I burn with the rejection that he can’t forget his damn job to be there for me in the way we both know we want. For over a year now, I’ve been throwing myself out there to him and he always turns his back on me. Usually I can deal with it because I understand. His responsibility is to my father. I’m a complication. And normally I just like to give a hot, tough guy like Ryder a run for his money and tease him because I know I can. Him liking me is not the problem. Nor is him wanting me. I see it and I feel it and I have for some time now. But today, after all this, the world feels very, very lonely. I feel very lonely.

  An emotion I don’t recognize crosses Ryder’s face as he’s studying me, but then he looks away when Alex says, “I have no trail on the hacker’s location right now, but I’ll find him.”

  Ryder nods, as if that’s the only answer he needs.

  I need way more than the word of someone I don’t know. “How can you be so sure you can locate him before he posts the video?”

  “Because that’s what I do.” She smiles softly and shrugs. “I can’t promise I’ll catch who’s blackmailing you. But I can promise I’ll find this hacker.”

  Her confidence reassures me. But her words confuse me. “You don’t think the hacker and the blackmailer are the same person?”

  “It’s very unlikely,” Alex says, returning her focus to her monitor. “Whoever hacked your computer is a pro. All I need to do is narrow down their signature and then I’ll catch him.”

  My throat tightens as I hear Ryder clearing his throat. Oh, yeah, I know what’s coming next and I want to hide under the damn table.

  “Speaking of the video, let’s take a look at it.” His voice is cool and collected. I don’t know if that’s an act or not, but my heart twists, squeezes, and then promptly drops into my stomach when he turns to me and says, “I need to watch this to learn what I can about the men. You don’t need to be here.”

  “I’m staying.” I damn well want to see his expression when he watches me.

  “All right,” Ryder says, and then he nods at Alex. “Go on.”

  Alex clicks the video, and I have to give it to her. She stays perfectly professional with no judgment or emotion on her face as she hears the sexual screams and masculine moans. But my embarrassment is nothing compared to when I look at Ryder. He leans forward, studying the video intently.

  Though I quickly realize in the seconds after my own horror that he’s not even looking at me in the video. He’s studying the men. His face is close to the screen, eyebrows furrowed, and I realize he’s looking for every flaw, every imperfection, and imprinting those marks into his memory.

  When silence fills the room, Ryder doesn’t lean away but states, “Play it again.”

  Again, and again, and again, I endure watching the entire video. Until there’s not even shame left in me because I’m completely desensitized to it now.

  Once Ryder leans back into his chair and his soft eyes meet mine, I have to wonder if that was his intention. Yet it doesn’t stop how bare I feel now, totally exposed in ways I’ve never wanted to be. I never wanted him to see me like that. My skin crawls in shame.

  Ryder frowns at whatever’s crossing my face, but I see the shadows of disappointment there in the depths of his eyes. The punishment of having to watch the video doesn’t only belong to me.

  Regardless of how he feels, he says gently, “We’ll find the person behind this, Hadley.”

  “I know,” I tell him.

  Because I know Ryder. He’ll get me out of this mess because that’s what he does. I can’t help but hope that maybe for once he’ll tell me he’s doing that for me, not out of obligation to my father.

  When his eyes meet mine, emotions burn within their depths. But then he does what he always does—he coldly looks away, taking a little piece of my heart with him.

  Ryder

  With Alex hunting down the identity of the hacker, I have my own investigating to do. That’s what brings me to the Irish pub, O’Keefe’s. I park my truck at the curb and glance at Hadley sitting next to me in the passenger seat. She’s not looking in my direction; she’s staring out her window at O’Keefe’s burgundy sign decorated with a gold Celtic knot. “I need you to stay here,” I tell her.

  She turns to me then, eyebrows drawn. “You’re going inside?”

  “Yes, and I think it’s best you don’t come.” I exit the truck, noticing her annoyed expression as I peer at her through the open door. “I need to have a private conversation with someone who wouldn’t appreciate you being there. That’s all this is.”

  She watches me for a long moment and finally leans back in her seat, crossing her legs. “Everything’s okay, though?”

  I hate seeing her this worried, and promise, “It will be.” I shut the door, making my way around the hood, feeling her watching me, and my skin flushes hot with each step I take. Regardless of what my mind tells me, my body wholeheartedly disagrees. Take her, roars within.

  I shake the thought from my mind, and when I enter the pub, I’m immediately struck by the volume of the crowd and the loud folk music coming from the live band at the back near the pool tables. But the strangers are not why I’m here. Nor is the good food or the crisp stout.

  The reason for my visit is standing behind the bar looking like a thirty-four-year-old carefree guy without a worry in the world. But I know that’s so far from the truth. Gabe has a lot of worries lately, even if he is a multi-millionaire. Because that fame brought the attention of the tabloids. And we all know that as of late the tabloids have been a serious pain in our asses.

  When Gabe’s eyes connect with mine, he gestures toward the end of the bar. I move there and when I reach him, I say, “We need to talk.”

  He nods, his hazel eyes wrought with concern, as he knows we can’t talk here. Right where I’m standing beneath the bar’s counter is a bug recording our conversations. I also know there’s another at our regular table at the back near the pool tables. Deep down, it grates on my last nerve that I have no idea who put them there and why someone is selling us out.

  Gabe understands and glances over his shoulder and calls, “Kenna.” The dirty-blonde with eyes a mix of green and yellow serves her customer a beer, then when she looks in Gabe’s direction, he adds, “I’ll be back in ten.”

  She nods and moves quickly to serve the next customer waiting with his twenty-dollar bill in hand.

  Not long ago, Gabe lusted after that woman. I’d seen it, many times. But the fact that he barely acknowledges her now only shows me the weight of worry pressing down on him.

  Out of all my friends, he’s always been the most carefree. Which makes what I have to tell him that much harder.

  Gabe leaves his cloth behind the bar, lifts the wooden gate, and exits, quickly moving forward. I silently follow behind him as we weave our way through the crowd to the side door that leads to the kitchen. The clanging of dishes and the loud voice of the chef echoes in the small space as we move to the back and up the stairs.

  There, Gabe uses the fingerprint scanner I installed for him when he renovated this building, originally built in the 1950s. Once we’re inside his apartment, I don’t bother moving to his living room. The conversation will be short. “Listen, I have news—”

  Gabe raises his hand, stopping me. “I can only imagine whatever you have to say isn’t good so let me show you this first.” He moves to his coffee table and returns with the tabloid magazine Gotcha!

  After he flips a couple pages, he hands me the magazine and I read the article.

  Is Micah Holt dirty? Our sources tell us he’s under investigation for electronic money laundering and tax ev
asion.

  I glance at Gabe. “So the plan finally worked?”

  He nods. “It did.”

  Relieved and hoping this means Hadley will stay out of the tabloids now, I hand Gabe the magazine. “Is Micah handling the heat okay?”

  “Yeah,” says Gabe, returning the magazine to the coffee table. “Right now, he’s keeping silent about it all to draw this story line out as long as possible.”

  Which seems insane, but these are insane times. I need to find our spy, and I still believe that means finding the person behind the threat to Hadley. But the thought of using her to do it knots my gut.

  “Soon,” Gabe adds grimly, “I’m sure the police will step forward and tell the city that Micah isn’t under investigation because they are likely being hounded and will need to make a statement. But the plan to keep the focus on him this week is working exactly like we planned.”

  “Good.” The goddamn tabloid is the last thing on my mind. Hadley’s my only focus. And with the threat of the video being held over her head, I need to find this hacker and quick. “We need to keep feeding them stories to keep them under our thumb.”

  Gabe gives a firm nod in agreement. “Totally agree there. All right. Lay it on me. What’s the news?”

  “You’ve got a blackmailer in Afterglow.”

  His already tense face twists with concern. “How do you know this?”

  I feel for him, truly and honestly. “Two male members videotaped Hadley Winters having sex with them and are now blackmailing her with it.”

  Gabe moves to the couch and drops down into it, like the world is pressing thousands of pounds against him. He lowers his head and runs his hands through his messy hair. “How sure are you that it’s members from my club?”

  “Very sure,” I tell him, staying put at the door. “Hadley received an invitation in her locker at the club from someone she’d been with before.” And I knew for a fact nonmembers could never just walk in.

  “Fucking hell.” Gabe lurches to his feet and moves to the windows on the far side of his studio apartment. He presses his hands against the red and black exposed brick on the wall. “When will this shit end?”

  I stay silent and let him process this. His world is spinning out of control. I suspect his trust is wavering, and for a man who likes control and power as much as Gabe, I can see the ghosts beginning to surround him.

  Only a minute passes before Gabe finally turns back to me. “First, the tabloids are printing stories about us. Then we find bugs in my goddamn pub. Now this?”

  “I’m sorry to have to bring this to you.” I echo his concern, especially considering I don’t think he is the target but rather a pawn to trap the senator. “But again, I think we need to not let our emotions get carried away. This isn’t personal. The blackmailer wants to destroy the senator and he’s using you and Hadley to do it.”

  Gabe glowers. “The tabloids are printing our personal information, so please tell me how this isn’t personal.”

  “Of course it seems like things are stacked against you, and I’m still unsure how the tabloids and the threat against Hadley are all linked together, but I’m telling you they are. That much I don’t doubt.” I simply can’t believe the tabloids would go to these extremes just to dig up stuff on our personal lives. Yes, me and my friends hold positions of power in San Francisco, but still…it’s odd we’re making headlines. This all has to be connected to the senator somehow, and I simply needed to find that link to make sense out of all this. “The magazine would never have the financial resources to bug your pub with the devices they used. Nor would they have the money to hire a private investigator to follow Hadley to know she even attended Afterglow.”

  Gabe’s eyes widen. “Do you think she’s still being followed?”

  “I haven’t seen anyone tailing her, so no, but I’m not necessarily writing that off either.” And if I caught anyone following her, they would quickly regret that decision. Because, logical or not, when it comes to Hadley the only eyes I want on her are mine.

  “So, basically, we still have nothing?” Gabe says, obviously frustrated. “We have no idea who bugged my pub. We have a blackmailer who has been in my club. And somehow this might involve all of us or it might not—at this point we only know we are all pawns in someone’s corrupt game. Have I got that right?”

  He’s not wrong. Not on a single point. “Well,” I say, trying to put a positive spin on our current situation, “we’ll soon have the name of the hacker and that’s a place to start. We haven’t hit a dead end.” At least, not yet anyway.

  “And you believe the hacker is a member of Afterglow?”

  “That I’m not sure of. He’s either part of this or has been hired. Regardless, he will know something and he’s the guy I need to talk to.”

  Gabe nods in agreement.

  I consider my next steps before I add, “But first, we need to see if anyone else has received one of those invitations or if Hadley was the only one. Then we can go from there.” I push away from the door. “Is that doable for you?”

  “Of course,” Gabe says, then he pauses, obviously choosing his words carefully. “What do you know about this guy so far? If you show me the video, I might recognize him.”

  I shake my head. No one else will see that goddamn video. “The men were wearing full masks. One had a half-moon scar on his hand, but that’s all I saw in the video that would identify them.”

  “Weight? Height?”

  “Both over six feet, athletic frames.”

  Gabe sighs and approaches me. “Anything else that could help me?”

  “Anyone involved in something like this will likely have a criminal record.” Christ, even Alex had one before the government squashed it to enlist her help on an investigation. “If you get me names, I have no doubt someone will stand out.” Or Alex would learn enough about them to make them stand out.

  “While that might be true,” Gabe says, stopping next to me, “I should tell you, and this is probably the last thing you want to hear, but I don’t think knowing the names is going to get you anywhere.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  Gabe cocks his head, his voice goes soft. “Because Hadley is known to gravitate to the shady type at the club and I imagine all of them will have criminal records.”

  Why Hadley puts herself in that position is still beyond me. She has feelings for me. She wants me. So what in the hell is she doing with men that are the scum of society?

  It doesn’t add up, and I decide right then and there it’s about time she tells me why.

  “Yes, they might very well have criminal records,” I agree, keeping my thoughts on point for now. “But that’s why I have a hacker of my own. She’ll weed these guys out.”

  Gabe offers his hand, and as I shake it, he says, “I’ll get you those names.”

  Chapter 6

  Hadley

  Later that Saturday night, I enter my condo and before I can even get my shoes off, the door clicks shut behind me and Ryder’s harsh voice cuts across me. “Please explain to me what drove you to sleep with two strangers in a hotel room when there was no one there to ensure your safety?”

  I’m so shocked by what Ryder’s just blurted out that I twist my ankle kicking off my heels, before I recover. When I turn back to him, I find him scowling at me. “There’s nothing to really explain.”

  Legs spread wide, arms crossed over his thick chest, he demands, “Answer the question.”

  Ryder never crosses that personal and professional line. Not a single time that I can recall. Now that he is, I’m stumbling to keep up. I want to say, Because you reject me time and time again and it’s slowly killing me. But with his fierce stare on me, it takes all of my strength to say, “No.”

  One brow arches. “No?”

  “That’s right, no.” I hold my ground.

  Just as Ryder has created boundaries he won’t cross, so have I. My emotions are mine. Unless he gives me more, I won’t give him anything more of mys
elf either. It’s a game I can’t lose. If I do, I lose him, or I lose myself.

  Realizing that I won’t back down, he finally breaks our stare-down and shakes his head in blatant frustration. “What is your objection to answering me?”

  Perhaps I’m exhausted from all I’ve been through in the last twenty-four hours. Maybe I’m even tired of the same game Ryder and I play over and over again. But I can’t hold back the frustration in my voice. “My objection is that my actions are really none of your business.”

  His eyes slowly narrow. “You. Are. None. Of. My. Business?”

  I realize instantly I’ve hit a nerve, and a lesser woman might back away from all that broody masculinity. But there’s a catch here. I know this guy in front of me. I oddly understand Ryder in ways that don’t even make sense to me. And that’s why I know I can’t give him more of me without asking for more of him in return. Because if I did, he not only wouldn’t respect me, but he could also very easily hurt me. “Yes, what I do in my personal life is none of your business,” I tell him, turning away and placing my purse down on the end table. “Just like your personal life is none of my business. You made it that way, not me.”

  I hear the creak of the wood floor beneath his feet as he approaches. Then I’m shockingly in his arms and he’s turning me toward him. I can barely catch my breath as I finally feel his sizzling touch. His eyes are stern, serious, as is his voice. “Is this the game we’re playing now?”

  “I’m not playing a game,” I tell him quite seriously, caught in the heat burning between us. It’s addictive, and I sense my body flush under the promise of his strong hold. “I’ve never played a game with you. I’ve always been straightforward. You know exactly how I feel. If anyone has been playing a game, it’s you.”

  I see the effect of my words ripple across Ryder’s expression. He usually has such a poker face, showing me nothing. Not now. The intensity in his eyes is something beyond emotion, it’s magic, because it’s what Ryder looks like without barriers. “No secrets. Not anymore. Is that a promise we can make to each other?”