Stuck Landing

by Lauren Gallagher

It wasn’t at all unusual for me to catch a glimpse of Levi looking at Carter like he was a heartbeat away from dropping to his knees and thanking God for him. Carter still gazed at Levi as if he was afraid he might wake up from this dream at any moment.

  And never were those looks more apparent than right this minute, as they stood at the altar in matching tuxes with their undoubtedly sweaty hands joined and their eyes locked.

  I wasn’t sure if I’d ever want to get married—it had always been something I could take or leave—but watching them now, I would’ve sold my soul for someone to look at me like that. Like even if anything else in the world did exist, it didn’t matter.

  Nothing matters, their eyes said, because you’re here.

  Natalya’s presence beside me made my skin tingle. I didn’t dare turn to her. Not right then. I was afraid to meet her gaze, and I wasn’t even sure why. Because of how she might look at me? Because of how she might not look at me?

  Because I’m losing my fucking mind and getting all sentimental from watching those two tie the knot?

  Pretty sure I was right about the losing my mind part. The rest of it . . .

  Which way to the open bar?

  After the vows and the rings were exchanged, after both men had gathered their composure enough to murmur “I do,” the pastor gave them the word: “You may kiss your husband.”

  Levi touched Carter’s face. They paused for a couple of seconds, smiling at each other like they were the only two people in the room. Levi’s mouth moved, and though I couldn’t hear him, I’d have recognized the “I love you so much” on his lips and in his eyes from a mile away.

  Carter mouthed the same, then lifted his chin and kissed his new husband.

  And everyone in the room cheered.

  They both laughed and wiped their eyes, and when they kissed again, I had to brush a tear from my own cheek.

  You’re a lucky man, Levi. You have no idea.

  The country club staff made quick work of converting the ballroom from ceremony seating to a reception hall. Caterers served a light lunch while the wedding went on as weddings do. The newlyweds were introduced, and it was time for the toasts. Carter’s brother gave a lovely snarky speech.

  Then Levi gestured at me with the microphone and cringed as he said, “All right, Anna. Don’t make me regret this.”

  I rose and walked to the front, champagne glass in hand. I set the glass on the edge of the table, and as I took the microphone from Levi, I winked, “You knew what you were getting yourself into.”

  Rolling his eyes, he crossed himself.

  I snickered. Then I faced the sea of white-covered tables and elegantly dressed guests. “So, Levi gave me a list of things I wasn’t allowed to talk about. It took me two weeks to find it because I thought it was the Yellow Pages.”

  As I’d hoped, everyone laughed.

  “Anyway, with all of that in mind, what a lot of people here don’t know is that a long, long time ago, Levi and I dated.” I paused for a beat. “And that’s how we both figured out we were definitely gay.” As everyone roared, I turned to Carter. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

  He raised his glass and chuckled.

  “So,” I continued, “you could say that I’ve seen Levi at his worst, and I’ve seen him at his best. Carter, I don’t know if it’s as obvious to you as it is to me, but without a doubt, Levi at his best is any moment when he’s with you. It’s really that simple. I knew the first time I ever saw him look at you that you were the man who’d bring him the kind of happiness I see in his eyes every single day now.”

  They glanced at each other and smiled as Levi put his hand over Carter’s on the table.

  “No relationship is perfect,” I said, “but what you two have is as close as any pair of human beings can expect. When things are rough, or when Levi isn’t doing as he’s told—”

  “Hey!”

  “—I want you to remember the way you feel right now. The way you can’t look at each other without smiling. How when one of you walks into the room, everyone else can feel the way the other responds. How one look makes the whole world stop.”

  I caught Natalya’s eye, and her smile disarmed me enough that I nearly forgot what I was talking about. I glanced down at the notecard in my hand, and that put me back on track.

  I muffled a cough. “Remember the way you feel right now when things are rough, because this?” I gestured at both of them. “This is why you’re together—because of the way you feel about each other right now. As long as you don’t lose sight of that, then we’ll all be here again with a lot more gray hair to celebrate your golden anniversary.” I picked up my glass off the table. “Congratulations to you, Levi and Carter, for having the kind of love that we should all aspire to.” I raised my glass, and everyone called out, “Cheers!”

  After taking a drink, I went to hand the microphone back to the deejay, but Carter gestured for me to give it to him. Levi’s eyes widened as I handed it off to Carter.

  “Good luck,” I whispered loudly to Levi before heading back to my seat.

  “Shit,” he muttered.

  Natalya smiled, and when she slid her hand over my leg, my pulse was racing. Postspeech adrenaline? Maybe. I squeezed her hand, and the coolness of her skin made my heart slow down and flutter at the same time.

  At the front of the room, Carter stood behind the head table, microphone in hand.

  “So, I wanted to thank you all for coming. It’s . . . still kind of overwhelming, realizing how many people wanted to come share our day with us. And I know some of you are horribly disappointed, but even though we really, really tried, Link and Zelda refused to come.”

  Everyone laughed, and the grooms exchanged glances.

  “And, um . . .” He cleared his throat. “I’m kind of winging it here because I wasn’t going to do this, mostly because Levi threatened to turn the cats against me if I did, but he can’t really stop me now.”

  Levi facepalmed.

  Chuckling, Carter patted his shoulder. “Anyway. If you’ll all let me ramble for a minute, I promise there’s a point to this.”

  His husband eyed him, but didn’t interrupt.

  Carter took a deep breath. “A few years ago, I auditioned for this TV show that was based on a series of books I’d never read because there weren’t enough pictures.”

  Two seats over from me, Hunter choked on his water.

  “And even when I got the call,” Carter continued, “I wasn’t so sure about it. I mean, moving to Washington for a paranormal series where I’m getting my ass handed to me every five minutes?” He looked around. “By the way, Ginsberg? Thanks for taking the worst of it like a champ.”

  “You owe me, dude!” came the reply.

  Carter gave a thumbs-up. “But I took the part. And I came up here. The thing is, I came to Bluewater Bay and Wolf’s Landing, thinking this would be a great thing for my career, and it was. I was expecting to get rained on a lot, and I’m glad that part didn’t turn out to be true.” He paused, eyes flicking toward Levi. “What I never imagined was that I’d find myself here. That I’d be working with so many amazing people.” He gestured out at the guests, the vast majority of whom were part of the show. “That I’d make so many new friends, and there would be so many people I’d want to share the best day of my life with.”

  A collective “aww” rippled through the group.

  Carter smiled thinly. “And God knows I had no idea that Bluewater Bay and Wolf’s Landing would be where I’d run headlong into the love of my life.” His voice wavered a little. “And sometimes, when I think about it, and realize how many things had to line up in order for us to meet, it’s hard to believe they all did. Anna? Where did you go?”

  I blinked and cautiously raised my hand.

  He met my gaze and smiled. “You talked Levi into taking the role of Max Fuhrman. So a lot of this?” He pointed at me. “Your fault, lady.”

  I laughed and showed my palms.

  “That goes for you t
oo, Hunter,” Carter said. “Because I know you’re the one who requested Levi.”

  Chuckling, Hunter raised his glass. Kevin leaned in closer to him, and I wondered if he was thinking of all the planets that aligned to bring him and Hunter together.

  “So a lot of people played roles in this,” Carter said. “In bringing all of us”—he gestured at everyone in the room—“together to make the awesome show we’re making, as well as bringing Levi and me together. I don’t know if it’s fate, or if we all just got damn lucky, but we’re here in Bluewater Bay, and I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve been thanking any god who will listen for—”

  He was drowned out by applause. Beside him, Levi clapped too, grinning from ear to ear.

  As the room quieted, Carter swallowed hard and turned to his new husband. “And Levi. None of us would be in this room right now if you hadn’t taken that role. But you did. And then you took a chance on a drink with a stuttering fanboy. And you took my hand in public even when you had so, so much to lose.” He pressed his lips together, and when he spoke again, he subtly dabbed at his eyes. “You gave up a ton to be with me, and you took on a ton more, and I—” He paused to quickly clear his throat. “I just want you to know that a day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t been grateful for all of that. And I’m looking forward to spending the rest of my life making sure it was worth it.”

  Levi rose and wrapped his arms around Carter, and once again, we all applauded. Several people dabbed their eyes with napkins, and I heard more than a few sniffling sharply over the cheering.

  Weddings didn’t usually get to me like this, but damn it, I had to wipe my eyes too.

  Again.

  After everyone had eaten, the deejay called the newlyweds onto the floor for the first dance. I was kind of surprised that Levi didn’t protest. On the other hand, Carter had brought out a side of Levi that had been dormant his entire life. After all those tame-but-tender public displays of affection, and the very public announcements of their relationship and engagement, not to mention the way Levi still grinned like an idiot every time he saw Carter . . . well, what was a slow dance at their wedding?

  I couldn’t help but feel proud of him. After being so firmly in the closet, and so afraid of being “out” in public, there he was—slow-dancing in the middle of the floor, in front of two hundred people, with a gold band shining on his hand and the sweetest smile shining on his husband’s face.

  Eventually, the deejay invited everyone else to join the guys on the floor, though Carter and Levi didn’t seem aware that any of us existed at all. As other couples started dancing, the two of them stayed focused on each other. Still dancing, still smiling, as if they were each waiting for the other to whisper, “Let’s blow this joint and go home.”

  All around them, the dance floor was filled with familiar Wolf’s Landing faces. Ginsberg and Derrick were almost as lost in each other as the oblivious grooms. Jeremy and Scott were smiling at each other like the adorably romantic dorks they were. Kevin had to work at it, but he finally dragged Hunter out there, and after a few slow turns, the crotchety old grump got into the spirit of things. After a few more steps, he even paused to kiss Kevin’s forehead.

  Beside me, Natalya whispered, “I hope they stay that happy. They’re such a lovely couple.” She could have been talking about anyone out there, but of course, I knew who she meant. I shifted my gaze toward Levi and Carter.

  “They deserve this,” I said. “Like nobody else.”

  Natalya nodded. She smiled, watching the happy grooms for a moment.

  Then she looked at me. Something in my stomach fluttered, and it took all the resolve I had not to wrap my arm around her waist. That wasn’t what we were. It wasn’t what we were doing. But God, it felt like the thing to do.

  Then she gestured at the dance floor. “We should dance.”

  I turned to her. “We . . . we should?”

  She held out her hand, and the smile on her lips screwed with my blood pressure. Like Levi, dancing had never really been my cup of tea, but . . . Hell. Who was I to say no to wrapping my arms around her and moving to some slow, easy music?

  I put my hand in hers. A few heads turned. Or maybe it was my imagination. I always felt conspicuous making even the most platonic physical contact with a woman in public, but this was a bit harder to write off as nothing.

  Heart pounding, I let her lead me out onto the floor, and suddenly we were in each other’s arms. She kept some distance between us, just enough to keep her dress from brushing the front of mine. Which was good. If it did, I’d feel it brush my hard nipples, and I would gasp, and I would probably melt right there at her feet.

  It’s just dancing. Chill.

  Okay, so later on, there’d be a hell of a lot more than dancing. The hand on my waist would be between my legs, her fingers inside me, and the lips smiling back at me would be . . .

  I tried to hide a shiver and, without thinking about it, inched closer to her. She didn’t miss a beat, and with the way we held each other, there was no way she didn’t feel my rock-hard nipples between us now. I sure did. Holy hell. Every time one of us moved, or breathed, or thought about breathing, the faint friction sent little sparks from my breasts right down to my clit.

  Just dancing. And sex. Just dancing and sex.

  Except . . .

  Except the way I felt looking in her eyes . . .

  Like there was nobody else here. Like it made perfect sense for the two of us to be here, holding on to each other and looking in each other’s eyes, as if there’d never been any reason for me to balk at us. Like there really was an us.

  No, it was nothing. I was just getting caught up in the romance of a wedding. That was enough to make everyone swoon over the nearest warm body and feel like they were in love. And since Natalya and I were physically intimate, we weren’t just the other’s nearest warm body.

  I don’t feel that way about her. We have great sex and we’re great friends. But I’m not in love with her.

  I don’t . . . I don’t think I’m in love with her.

  Am I?

  “People are watching,” she said softly.

  Goose bumps prickled my back. “I know.”

  “So much for keeping this under wraps.” She flashed a mischievous grin. “If they didn’t know before, they know now.”

  “They do.” But what do they know? I met her gaze and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “I’m guessing you don’t mind.”

  “No.” She cupped my cheek. “I don’t mind at all. You don’t seem to either.”

  “Can’t say I do.”

  “Thought so.”

  Her hand slid into my hair, and right there in front of God and everyone, she drew me in and pressed her lips to mine.

  And everyone knew.

  Including me.

  My legs almost collapsed out from under me. Had we stopped moving? I was pretty sure we’d stopped moving.

  But we hadn’t stopped kissing. Music was still playing, people were still talking all around us, but Natalya’s lips were still against mine, and if we were still dancing, it wasn’t because of any conscious effort on my part.

  She touched her forehead to mine. Her breath rushed across my lips. “I . . . didn’t plan that.”

  “Neither did I.” What a dumb thing to say. Of course I hadn’t planned it. She’d made the move. And she couldn’t possibly have known what she was doing.

  Our feet weren’t moving anymore. That much finally became apparent. As I drew back, the rest of the world reappeared, but it didn’t come into focus. All I could focus on was the gorgeous woman in front of me, and the longer I stared at her, the harder my heart thumped in my chest.

  I didn’t care if anyone knew we were seeing each other. They all knew I was a lesbian, and if they didn’t before, they did now. And I was hardly going to be embarrassed if people figured out Natalya was sharing my bed.

  That wasn’t why my heart pounded or my stomach twisted. It wasn’t why my spi
ne tingled with a mixture of panic, excitement, and . . . relief?

  There might’ve been people staring. I didn’t know, and I didn’t care. Right then, I held her gaze because I couldn’t look anywhere else.

  It’s true, isn’t it? I’m in love with you.

  She touched my face. The soft brush of her thumb across my cheekbone gave me more goose bumps.

  God. Yes.

  But it happened so fast. And this is supposed to be casual. And you’re bi. And—

  And I love you.

  Natalya’s hand left my cheek, and she slipped her fingers between mine. Then we were walking. She was leading me, I was following her, and we were leaving the dance floor. Were people watching? Didn’t know. Didn’t care.

  I thought she was leading me toward our table, but she continued right past it, and I followed because what else could I do?

  The hallway outside the ballroom was a dizzying maze I couldn’t have backtracked if I tried—or at least it seemed that way—and then Natalya pushed open a door. She disappeared through it. Still holding her hand, I followed. The room was mostly dark—Is this a coat closet?—and then it was suddenly pitch-black. Natalya grabbed me again, pulled me into a kiss, and I didn’t care what kind of room this was or how much light there was, because there was no stopping now. It was impossible to say who was in control. She was pushing me back, I was dragging her with me, and the end result was my back up against the wall and her breasts pressed against mine.

  Clothes didn’t even matter anymore. Somehow, her hand was on skin. On my inner thigh. Pushing my panties aside.

  Sighing, I arched off the wall as her fingers slipped inside me, and she kissed me again. I was vaguely aware that with our hair done and faces made up, we needed to be careful not to dishevel or smear anything. Or, well, we should’ve been careful. God help us if anyone saw a hair out of place or some lipstick where it didn’t belong. Then they might know. They might figure out that I’d been in this pitch-black closet with Natalya’s hand up my dress and my tongue in her mouth and—

  Oh, to hell with anyone figuring out what we’d done. What we were doing. What we were going to do. Let them all walk in and see, because I wanted the whole damned world to know I was turning this woman on.