‘That wasn’t incredibly boring,’ Nalini said brightly. Perhaps too brightly, Leyna thought.
‘Thank you, I think?’ But he frowned, looking at Nalini and then Leyna. It took Leyna a second to realise that she should say something to him, too, and she cleared her throat.
‘It was wonderful, thank you. I hope my speech next year is just as elegant when Mattan hosts the banquet.’
‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes,’ she answered quickly, and avoided Nalini’s eyes. ‘Please excuse me. I think Carlos is looking for me.’
He wasn’t doing anything to indicate that he was, but Leyna strode towards him with enough purpose that anyone watching would think he had called for her. When he saw her coming, his eyes widened and he stood at attention.
‘Your Majesty.’
‘You can relax, Carlos. I just need an excuse to get some air.’
She gave him a shaky smile and saw some of the tension seep from his stance.
‘Would you buy me some time? Tell anyone who’s looking for me I’m speaking with someone else privately. You can do that until I return. I won’t be long.’
Though she read confusion in his eyes, Carlos nodded and Leyna made her way through the secret tunnels that led to Aidara’s private beach. She kicked off her shoes at the edge of the sand and lifted the hem of her dress. It was practical—she wanted to be able to walk more easily—but she also didn’t want to ruin the beautiful dress. Then she stopped just before the water reached her feet and took a long steadying breath.
This beach held so many memories for her. Despite the fact that those memories were tainted with sadness now, it was still the place she came to for calm. For balance. She needed both now as the information Nalini had told her swirled in her head.
Xavier had had a difficult marriage. The knowledge grieved her. Even though she’d felt betrayed when he’d moved on so quickly from her, Leyna hadn’t wanted him to be unhappy. She’d wanted him to find contentment. To live a full life without her.
No, she corrected herself. What she’d wanted was for him to live a happy, full life with her. It was a contradiction that Nalini’s words had alerted Leyna to. She had never wanted Xavier to be unhappy but, if she was honest with herself, she didn’t want him to be happy without her.
She was a selfish, selfish person.
And now she was planning a marriage with him. And a child.
Hadn’t she jumped on that? She hadn’t wasted time thinking about what being married to him, what carrying his child would cost her. Not until she’d admitted to him that it might just destroy her.
She hadn’t wanted to admit it, but she couldn’t deny the truth of it now. She’d worked even harder rebuilding herself than she had on rebuilding her kingdom ten years ago. Turning away from Xavier had been absolutely soul-destroying. The only way she’d been able to survive the decision since was to focus on her duty. To focus on what she’d turned away from Xavier for.
She’d refused her grandmother’s suitors, had refused to date since. Hell, she’d refused to make time for any emotion that wasn’t necessary to run her kingdom. And now, with the possibility of a future with Xavier looming... It was enough for all the emotions she’d been ignoring to come flooding back in.
Leyna could see herself carrying a baby that was part her, part Xavier. She could already feel it move inside her, and see herself holding it for the first time. It would have Xavier’s almost grey eyes and her brown curly hair. It would have his laugh...
‘You can’t keep abandoning your guests like this, Leyna.’
She whirled around at Xavier’s voice, wondering for the briefest of moments if she’d imagined it. But he was there, walking towards her, his bare feet a stark contrast to the full-dress uniform he wore.
‘I just needed a break to think.’
‘About?’
She let out a strangled laugh. ‘What do you think?’
‘I think you need to put duty first. Doing that means marriage. And, apparently, a child,’ he added, and her heart thudded.
‘Easier said than done,’ she told him, and turned back just in time to see the water splash millimetres from her feet.
‘The conundrum of duty.’
‘You say that like it’s affected your life somehow.’
‘That’s a joke, right?’
‘I don’t mean in the usual sense.’ Her eyes followed the waves as they pulled back before crashing at the shore again. ‘I mean, how has it changed your life? How has it dictated your life?’
‘You really want to know?’ he asked, his voice low, tinged with something that had her turning towards him. A poor decision, she thought immediately, when she saw the look on his face—when she saw the seriousness, the fire, in his eyes.
Her belly stirred with a desire long-forgotten, her heart reminding her that they were in their place. That the reason he’d been able to find her when no one else would have was because he knew this was where she’d come to think. Where he’d found her countless times before.
Suddenly, the sound of the waves provided an alluring backing track. The night-time sky with its moonlight and stars offered more romance than she wanted.
She took a step back. ‘Tell me.’
‘Why don’t you go first?’
‘What is this? I show you mine, you show me yours?’
‘No.’ He took a step towards her now, and her heart pounded even harder as her body tightened. ‘But something tells me that your experiences are the reason for mine.’
Chapter Four
‘THERE YOU GO AGAIN,’ Leyna said hoarsely. ‘Thinking you have all the answers.’
‘Not all of them,’ he replied, his hand lifting before he could stop it to brush at a curl that had escaped from her bun. ‘Just this one.’
He knew he was playing with fire. The beach, that dress, the magnetism she exuded without even trying... It was bound to get him burned, and he still had the scars from the last time he’d played with the fire.
Yet he couldn’t move away.
‘I’ve made too many decisions for duty,’ she said softly. ‘I can’t possibly begin to name them all.’
‘How about the night you told me you couldn’t be with me? When you said that you’d mistaken the love you felt for me as a friend for more?’ Forgotten anger stirred and his hand moved to the small of her back, pressing her closer to him. ‘I begged you to tell me what was happening, to help you get through whatever it was.’
‘I told you the truth then.’ Her voice shook. ‘There was never more. There couldn’t be more.’
‘You’re saying there isn’t more, Leyna?’ He dipped his head so their mouths were a breath apart. ‘What royal duty had you deciding you couldn’t be with me?’
‘Stop it,’ she said, and tried to put distance between them. But he kept his hand on her back, refusing to allow her to pull away from him again. ‘Xavier, let me go.’
Her voice had gone cold. The shield was back up, he realised. His hand loosened its grip on her and he slipped it into his pocket and took a step back. His fingers curled into a fist when he realised his hand was now shaking, and he took another step away from her.
She was making him lose his mind. His bearings. And if he didn’t have them, what would stop him from continuing where they’d left off ten years ago?
It was the talk of marriage and children—as though it were as easy as it had been then—that had made him forget about the life he’d lived in those ten years since. He could almost hear Erika’s voice mocking him, asking him whether she was really so easy to forget. Taunting him that things were turning out exactly as he’d wanted them to all along.
It had been a constant argument between them. No matter how much Xavier had told her he was committed to them, that Leyna had no part in their relationship, the argument had remained. And no matter how hard he had fought to
keep Leyna separate from his life with Erika, she was always there. In the simplest things, and the most complicated emotions.
Erika had deserved more. She hadn’t deserved to be compared to another woman. Didn’t he know what it was like to be compared to someone who’d come before? To be held to an unfair standard? It didn’t matter who that person was, the feeling was terrible. And his wife had deserved more than that. She’d deserved more than a sudden death when she was barely thirty, too.
He hadn’t been able to give her all that she’d deserved when she was alive, but he could try to make up for that now. And what she deserved now—what her memory deserved—was that he keep things between him and Leyna strictly professional.
His kingdom deserved it, too. He could still hear the words his father had said to him after Leyna had broken up with him. Xavier had been so heartbroken he hadn’t been able to keep up with his responsibilities. His father had taken him aside, and had given him the tough love he’d needed.
Always put the kingdom first.
He might not have a choice about what they had to do to protect their kingdoms, but he could choose to remember that. To honour his kingdom and his wife. To set boundaries where Leyna was concerned. Yes, he could do that.
‘We’ll have to make the people believe it,’ he said. If she was confused—or relieved—by the shift in topic, she didn’t show it.
‘I don’t think it matters whether they believe it. They’ll appreciate our attempts to protect them.’
‘They probably will. But they’d know why, and it might have them panicking. If we do this, it will speak to their desire to believe that everything is fine.’
‘I suppose that’s true,’ she said, and shifted the hem of her dress from her left hand to her right. It drew his attention to her long, shapely legs, and he looked away before they tempted his already tenuous control. ‘We should head back.’
He walked with her but said, ‘We should talk about this more.’
‘I agree. Tomorrow? We can meet here again, if that suits you, and talk through the details. Xavier?’ she said when they reached the pathway leading back to the castle. ‘Are we really doing this? Getting married and having a child?’
‘We have to.’
She nodded. ‘I suppose there’s a wedding and a baby in our future then.’
‘For the sake of our kingdoms.’
He said it as a reminder to both of them of what was at stake. They had to put their feelings aside and focus on protecting their kingdoms.
She straightened her shoulders, an expression fierce with determination on her face, and repeated, ‘For the sake of our kingdoms.’
* * *
Xavier made his way to the roof of the Aidaraen castle, more than a little annoyed that Leyna was there when she should have been in her library, preparing for their meeting together. They’d agreed the previous evening to hash out the details of their arrangement there. And, since it was something neither of them really wanted to do, the least Leyna could have done was to make sure she kept to their plan.
As he climbed the stairs, though, he realised that he should be glad she wasn’t at the beach. He’d struggled with the memories when they’d been there together the night before. In the clear light of day—after the sleepless hours he’d spent thinking about it—he knew that seeing her in the place that had always been theirs had been partly responsible for the spell that had taken over him.
The other parts he didn’t care to think about. But, since he’d made a pact with himself the night before, it didn’t matter anyway.
The more he thought about it, the more he realised the roof of the castle was the perfect venue for the type of conversation they needed to have. Private, secure. But his thoughts stalled when he walked through the door.
The usually empty space now held a round table in the middle of it. The table was set for an intimate date, with red and pink flowers in the centre and an ice-bucket with champagne cooling just beside it. Each corner of the rooftop held a potted tree and colourful plants, green and bright, as though they’d been there since the beginning of time.
His eyes then moved to the woman who stood beside the table, and his gut tightened.
Leyna wore a simple white dress that was cut in a V at her neck and flowed gracefully down to her ankles. It was perfectly respectable. Or it would have been, he thought, if it had been on anyone else.
On her, the demure dress looked as if it was designed to be torn off. Thrown aside by hands—his hands—in order to roam over the slim curves of her body as his lips took hers, his tongue tasting whether she was still as innocent as she’d been when he’d first kissed her at fourteen, or as alluring—as seductive—as she’d been the day she’d said yes to his proposal.
He clenched his fists and though he knew he ought to make his way to her, he moved back. It was a futile attempt to distance himself from the memories. From the attraction. From the consuming need his body ached with when he saw her, tempting him to suggest they try for a child the natural way.
Why was it so difficult to ignore? He had the best reasons not to want her. She’d broken his heart, damn it, and trampled on its pieces when she’d walked out of his life. He’d even promised himself that he would try harder. For his kingdom. For Erika.
He had the best reasons, he thought again, and still they didn’t seem to be enough. Not when he had a compelling reason for them not to be.
He took in the classically beautiful features of her face, framed by tendrils of golden-brown curls. The rest of her hair was tied at the top of her head, almost making a crown, he thought. The casual style seemed no less royal than the elegant, swept back one she’d worn the night before.
She was still as captivating, as breathtaking as she’d been when he’d first fallen in love with her. And damn her for it.
‘What’s all this?’ Xavier said, refusing to wince when he heard the sharpness in his voice.
‘Well, you said we need to make our kingdoms believe this,’ she said mildly. ‘There’ll be a helicopter flying over the castle in about thirty minutes. They’ll take pictures, which will accompany an article suggesting we’ve been seeing each other in secret for the past month.’
It was clever, he thought, but didn’t say so. ‘You think one month will be enough?’
‘They’ve always shipped us together, even when we weren’t.’ She lifted a shoulder and then dropped it gracefully. ‘It’ll say a month but they’ll believe it to be longer. I think it will work.’
He nodded, and looked at the table in front of them. ‘I assume there’ll be some sort of meal involved with this.’
‘Yes.’ She nodded at a man who had somehow known to appear behind him at the appropriate moment. ‘We can take a seat in the meantime.’
They were alone on the roof—a rarity for both of them, he knew. It indicated the privacy they had there, especially as he was sure their guards had every possible entry covered. He pulled her seat out for her and then took his own. And wondered how their solitude would affect the lascivious thoughts he’d been having about her.
‘There have to be rules with this,’ Leyna started.
‘Well, first, we have to decide what this is.’
‘I thought we already had. We’re getting married. Having a child.’
They were words that had been repeated so often in the last twenty-four hours he thought he’d remember them for the rest of his life. Just as he would the determination covering the hesitance in her tone.
‘Yes. But when will we get married? When will we have the child? Will it be a big, flashy wedding? Will we use IVF or IUI? And when we announce all of this, what will we do about Zacchaeus?’
‘I get your point,’ she said. ‘So let’s get to the details then. First, though, I want to say that I reached out to Zacchaeus again this morning.’
‘So did I.’
/> Her lips curved slightly. ‘Great minds. I’m assuming you got the same response I did?’
‘You mean no response?’
She nodded. ‘We’ve tried to resolve this diplomatically. Now we move on.’
‘Let’s talk about the wedding first. When?’
‘We’ll need at least a month to plan a proper wedding. Two or three if we’d like to have our international allies attend.’
‘That might be too long,’ he said. ‘The situation with Zacchaeus is a ticking bomb that could go off at any moment.’
‘I agree, but I don’t think we’d get away with a rushed wedding. Not if we want to assure everyone that the alliance is intact and will thrive because of our marriage.’
‘We can’t just wait around for Zacchaeus to decide to make a move.’
‘I know.’ Her fingers tapped lightly on a champagne glass. ‘What happened to him? Zacchaeus, I mean. He was quiet, yes, and perhaps even a little one-sided and angry. But he was never malicious. Not like this.’
‘I thought the same thing when I heard about the coup. I heard...’ He trailed off, shook his head. ‘It’s all speculation. Not worth mentioning.’
‘Well, you’ve mentioned it now. You might as well tell me.’
He almost smiled. ‘I heard that Jaydon had fallen ill, and Zacchaeus overthrowing him had been a way to save face.’
‘That can’t possibly be true. Why would either of them have to save face because of an illness?’
‘Which is exactly why I didn’t think it would be worth mentioning. There’s another possible explanation for all of this, so we have to act.’ He waited for the food to be served, and when they were alone again continued. ‘What if we announced our wedding at the end of this week?’
‘It would send a clear message about our intentions,’ she considered. ‘But the end of this week might be too soon if—’ She broke off and her cheeks went pink.
‘If what?’
She straightened her spine. ‘I saw my doctor this morning. After our discussion, I wanted to be proactive so—’ the pink darkened ‘—I spoke to him about what it would mean for us to do IVF or IUI.’
United by Their Royal Baby Page 4
