Cut Short

by Julia Wolf

  I smiled and put my hands up, backing away. “Okay, buster! I’ll be in the living room. Let me know if you need help!”

  I sat down on the couch, tucking my feet under me. After scrolling through Netflix for a while, I settled on one of my favorite shows, The Good Place, even though I had already seen the whole series...more than several times.

  I got through almost two episodes when Joe finally emerged from the kitchen holding two plates. I turned off the TV and joined him at my table, eager to see and taste his cooking. Once I sat down, he placed my plate in front of me, and said, “The most gourmet meal you’ll ever have is served, mademoiselle!”

  “Oh my god, Joe. This actually looks really delicious.” I smiled as he sat down across from me. My plate was heaped with buttery mashed potatoes, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white bread, and chunks of watermelon. It was straight-up nursery school food, and I loved it.

  “I tried to think of what would be the softest, easiest food for you to eat. I’m in no way a chef, so this is what I came up with.” He looked really nervous, so I found his leg under the table and ran my bare foot up his calf.

  “I want you to know how incredibly grateful I am for all this. No one besides my mom has ever cooked anything for me. Just the fact that you’re here just for me is something I’ve never experienced before. Oh, and these mashed potatoes are amazing.”

  He laughed lightly. “You were married for a long time. He never cooked for you?” I shook my head and his eyebrows shot up. “Wow, that’s...kind of shocking. I hope he made up for it in other ways.” I shook my head again.

  “Shit, Rachel, I’m really sorry.”

  I put my fork down. “Well, we’re divorced for a reason—many, many reasons.”

  “We’ve never talked about your marriage before.” He reached across the table and held my hand in his.

  I sighed. “I know. It’s not my favorite subject.”

  “Can I ask what happened?” His voice was so gentle, so careful, that I felt safe. I hated even thinking about my marriage, but I wanted to be an open book with Joe.

  “David and I should have never gotten married in the first place. It was a rebound relationship that just never ended.” I traced the edge of my plate with my finger. “I got so caught up in him, I didn’t feel my independence or my other relationships slipping away. After a while, I didn’t talk to anyone else. He became my world. Looking back, that was exactly how he wanted it.”

  I paused and looked up at Joe. He still held my hand, his thumb rubbing back and forth.

  “Asking me to marry him was another way to control me, to lock me in. He went to college, lived in a dorm, and then a frat house, and I’m positive he slept around. I knew it at the time, but I also felt like I was on this ship, sailing away from dry land and I had no idea how to get off. And truthfully, I wanted to be married. Like the stone house, I looked at marriage as another form of the stability I had always wanted.”

  “That’s understandable,” he said.

  I nodded. “We got married when I was twenty-two, had the wedding of his overbearing mother’s dreams. That is a woman I’m glad I’ll never have to see again, by the way.” I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, after the wedding, we started living together. He picked apart every little thing I did. He chose all the furniture, pictures on the walls, told me how to hang up my clothes, even went shopping with me and told me what to buy. We went out with friends, but only his friends. When I think about it now, I can’t believe I let it go on for so long, but when I was living it, I didn’t know how to say no. I lost myself, Joe.”

  He shook his head. “I’m so sorry, sweet girl. I can’t picture you like that. You’re so strong, such a bright light.”

  Tears prickled my eyes and I wiped them with the back of my hand. “I feel strong now—I know I’m strong. But I wasn’t myself then.”

  Joe walked around the table and kneeled in front of me, resting his hands on my legs. “What made you leave?”

  I sucked in an uneven breath. “This is the worst part for me. I’ve never told anyone this.”

  “Nothing you can say will change how I feel about you.”

  I looked down at his hands on my thighs. “Two years before I left him, I walked into our bedroom to find David and another man in bed. David was behind the other guy, pounding into him. He must have seen movement because he looked up, right into my eyes. His rhythm didn’t change, and he kept going, looking right at me and smirking. I realized then the guy I lived with, the man I thought I loved...he actually hated me. I think he hated himself too, but he really hated me. To him, I represented the pressure his parents, his frat brothers, his bro-culture job, and society all put on him to be a man with a capital M. And to him, a ‘real man’ couldn’t be gay. To play that part, he needed a perfect wife, perfect home, perfect friendships. And of course, none of that was possible, so he was angry all the time.”

  “Why would I judge any of that?” Joe rubbed his hands up and down my arms.

  I scoffed. “Did you hear the part that all this happened two years before I left him? I stayed with him because I was embarrassed, because I had gotten caught up in playing the role he gave me. I wanted to be a wife. I enjoyed the money he made. And the worst part is I still slept with him, all the time. But I had started to plan, to hide away money in my own savings account. I knew it was going to end sooner rather than later, but I still clung to him, to our marriage. Then, one day, I woke up and looked at him—really looked at him. I thought to myself, ‘I cannot stand to be married one more day to this man. I can’t look at him. I can’t let him touch me. I don’t even want to hear his voice.’ So I told him I was done and I was leaving. He didn’t argue at all. He just let me go. And that was that. I stayed with Frannie until I could move here, and I never spoke a single word to him again. Do you think that’s terrible?”

  I looked up from my lap into Joe’s eyes. He shook his head. “No, I don’t, Rachel. What would you say if you spoke to him again?”

  I bit my lip. “I do wonder if he’s happy, if he’s come out. I hope he hasn’t found another woman to make miserable. But I don’t know what I’d actually say to him if I had the chance.”

  I circled my arms around Joe’s neck and laid my head on his shoulder. He pulled me off my chair, so I sat sideways in his lap on the floor. We held each other quietly for a long moment. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me that. I know it wasn’t easy.”

  I nodded into his neck, feeling lighter now that he knew my ugly truth. “Thank you for listening and not judging. It means a lot to me.” I kissed his stubbly jaw and nuzzled my face into his neck. “Mmmm, you smell like me.” He chuckled softly and ran his hand down the back of my head.

  We moved over to the couch to watch TV. I snuggled into his side, his feet resting on the ottoman and my legs slung over his. When the sun started to set, Joe groaned.

  “I hate to do this, but I have to head out. My parents are expecting me to be driving to their house from New York today. My brother and his family are coming over for dinner.”

  I untangled myself from him and stood up, watching him gather his things. “Back to reality, huh? I’m sure I’m going to be super busy tomorrow at work to make up for my day off. Sounds like you will be too.”

  “Yeah, I’ll probably be at my parents’ house tomorrow too. Are you sure you’re ready to go back to work?” He looked worried as he ran his hand through his hair.

  “Mm-hmm. Someone took extra good care of me, so I’m on the mend.”

  He smiled. “What about Saturday?”

  I nodded vigorously. “I’m working in the morning, but after that, I’m free.”

  “Still want to help me paint the porch?”

  “Are you kidding? Of course I do. I’ve even got the perfect painting outfit.”

  “There’s such a thing as a painting outfit? What is it, coveralls?”

  I gasped and clutched my chest. “I am positively scandalized you would think I, Rachel Sachs, w
ould wear coveralls.”

  He laughed and shook his head, stepping close to me. “You’re so adorable. I really like you, you know that?”

  “Feeling’s mutual, buster.”

  He pulled me into his arms one last time, holding me tight.

  “Have a nice time with your family tonight. And thank you for coming to my rescue. I’ll never forget it.”

  “Anything for you, sweet girl.”

  I closed the door behind him and pinched my arm to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. Because that guy, that sweet, beautiful man: he was my dream man.

  Twenty

  By the next morning, I was functioning at nearly one hundred percent. Eliza had squeezed clients from the previous day into any slot she could find, so I worked for ten hours straight. When I wasn’t applying color, I was cutting someone’s hair. When I wasn’t cutting someone’s hair, I was blow-drying someone else’s. By seven o’clock, I was exhausted and starving.

  Frannie and Eliza were just about done for the evening too and we planned to head to the wine bar together. As I waited for them to finish up, I checked my phone. Joe had sent a picture of himself standing in front of the stone house with a big smile on his face and keys in his hand.

  Him: I officially moved some of my things into the house. I still can’t believe I own a house!

  Him: I just walked by the salon, and it looked like you were juggling several customers. I creeped from the window for a minute, watching you. Do you know, now that we’re neighbors, I can do that anytime I want? Oh, I’m going to be so creepy!

  I had a huge smile on my face from looking at his picture and reading the texts he’d sent me a few hours ago. Dream guy.

  Me: You’re such a creeper! :) I wish you’d stopped in to say hi! I’m going to go to the wine bar with Frannie and Eliza as soon as they’re done working. What are you up to?

  Him: There she is. I promise to come in next time. I’m having a nice relaxing evening with the ‘rents and my nieces while Jake and his wife are having a date night. I’m going to send you a video of our first jam session.

  I opened the video on my phone, immediately surprised to see Joe playing a violin. Then I recognized the song, “Closer.” His younger niece played the piano and his older niece, Danielle, killed it on the cello. They sounded like they’d been playing together for a long time. Warmth blossomed across my chest as I watched the three of them smile at each other while they played.

  Me: Um, that was kind of amazing. How did you guys learn that so fast?

  Him: Confession: We’ve been practicing over Skype for a while.

  Just when I thought I couldn’t fall for him any harder, he tells me that. I knew he wasn’t perfect, but damn, did I like everything about him.

  Me: Tell them I am your trio’s biggest fan! I’m so impressed.

  Him: I just told them. Now they’re demanding to meet you. :) I can’t wait to see you again.

  Me: Me too. Are you ready to paint tomorrow?

  Him: As ready as I’ll ever be. I need your help!

  Me: I should be there by one-ish. I’ll talk to you later. E and Frannie are ready to go. <3

  Him: Have fun!

  I still grinned as I put my phone away. Eliza and Frannie were watching me from the door.

  “You have the sappiest smile on your face, girl,” Frannie said.

  I laughed and walked with them down the sidewalk. “I do, don’t I? Joe is officially a Maryland resident again.”

  “Oh, that’s wonderful,” Eliza said. “I love that house. Make sure he invites us over.”

  “I have a feeling Rachel is going to be there all the time. She’ll invite us over,” Frannie declared as we walked into the bar. Since we were having food, we settled into one of the booths that lined the back wall of the small bar.

  “I’m going to help him paint tomorrow,” I told them.

  “That’ll be fun. I’m glad you’re feeling better, by the way. You sounded rough when I talked to you after your dentist appointment,” Eliza said.

  I steepled my hands. “Well, my friends, do I have a story to tell you.” I recounted the tale of Joe coming to my rescue. At times, Frannie and Eliza both appeared astounded, impressed, and maybe even a bit envious. Hell, I was jealous of myself!

  “Never in my life has a man done anything like that for me,” Eliza said.

  “Me either!” I said. “Until yesterday, I thought things like that only happen in romance novels.” I sighed, remembering all the time I spent wrapped in Joe’s arms.

  “He sounds like a keeper,” said Eliza, ever the romantic.

  “I plan to keep him for as long as he’ll let me.”

  “But no banging?” asked Frannie, predictably.

  I laughed and shook my head. “No banging. Yet. I had a swollen face yesterday. But I predict the banging is imminent.” Frannie smiled and we fist-bumped.

  We finally dug into the tapas we were sharing. There were small plates of calamari, chicken fritters, stuffed olives, sautéed potatoes, and grilled asparagus in romesco sauce. Everything tasted mouth-wateringly delicious and I couldn’t help but think I had to bring Joe here soon.

  We talked for a while about our week at work and what else we’d been up to. Then I asked Frannie about her latest date, which never failed to entertain.

  She smirked. “Let’s see. I met this tragically hip guy on Tinder last weekend. We’ll just call him Hipster from here on out. He showed up at Bar Royal wearing cuffed dark jeans, skinny suspenders, and—I swear to god—a monocle. We had a beer…” Eliza frantically waved her hands around.

  “Wait, wait, wait, was Beardo there?” she demanded.

  “Hmmm….yeah, I think he served us,” Frannie answered indifferently.

  “Wasn’t that weird?” she asked.

  “I told you, I don’t ever feel awkward or weird. If Beardo felt weird about it, that’s his problem.” I laughed, because even though she sounded harsh and probably saw the world a little differently than most, Frannie didn’t have a mean bone in her body. She was just blunt and honest one hundred percent of the time. Eliza looked a little scandalized by the whole thing.

  “Anyway, Hipster was dressed ridiculously, but he seemed decent and actually attractive under the costume. We made out a little at the bar—excellent kisser. Don’t give me that look, E.”

  “Poor Beardo.” She shook her head sadly.

  “Oh, Beardo’s fine. He’ll find himself a lady who enjoys his jackhammering ways and live happily ever after. Back to my story please!” Frannie said. “We made out, and it was hot, so we went back to my place. We’re naked and everything’s going the way I like it, and then he goes to put on a condom.” She paused for dramatic effect.

  “And…?” Eliza asked.

  “E, what’s the best part between kissing and sex?”

  “Ummm…” Sadly, she looked confused. I didn’t even want to think about what Edward wasn’t giving her.

  “Dear, sweet Eliza. Hipster skipped right over oral. He had no intention of going downtown. I made him leave. I am not having sex with a selfish man. At least Beardo went down on me before the jackhammer.”

  “Wow,” breathed out Eliza.

  “Poor Frannie. It sounds like no one can top New York Marco,” I said.

  “He was exceptional, that’s true. But I will not be deterred from my mission to be banged thoroughly in my home state,” she declared, slamming her fist on the table.

  “I love you, Frananas, you know that?” I smiled at her and squeezed her shoulder.

  “Love you too, girl.”

  We finished up our tapas and wine, then called it a night since all of us had to work in the morning. When I got back to my apartment, I texted Joe one last time.

  Me: I miss you. I can’t believe we’re in the same state and I saw you yesterday and I miss you.

  Him: I miss you too, Rachel. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow.

  Me: You will. And I’m feeling all better, just FYI.

  Him: That is go
od information to have.

  Me: Goodnight, Joe.

  Him: Night, sweet girl.

  Twenty-One

  On Saturday morning, we were slammed at the salon. All the stylists were moving at a frenetic pace, dancing around each other as we hurried to mix hair color in the supply room, dodging each other as we led clients to the sinks to get their hair washed. I could only hope it looked like a well-choreographed dance to our clients rather than the rush of chaos it truly was.

  Throughout the morning, every time my mind wasn’t occupied with work, my thoughts wandered to Joe, and I caught myself smiling more than once. I knew he was at the stone house, getting started on painting. Having him so close felt like sweet torture.

  Frannie came into the supply room as I mixed color for my last client of the day.

  “Hey, I wanted to tell you my client let me know summer movies are starting tonight in the park. The Princess Bride is tonight’s movie. Want to join me? It’s supposed to be a really nice night. I convinced Eliza and Laurel to come too. Picnic and a movie in the park...come on, you know you wanna!”

  She nudged my side, and I laughed. “That actually sounds really perfect. I’m going over to Joe’s to help him paint in a little bit. I’ll see if he wants to come too. Maybe we’ll both meet you guys at the park tonight.”

  “You better bring your man! Eliza is beside herself that she hasn’t seen him since she cut his hair, and she didn’t know he was your Joe then.”

  I finished mixing up the color, and said, “I’ll see what I can do!”

  I forced myself not to rush through my last client. She planned weeks in advance to book a Saturday appointment with me, so the least I could do was not treat her like an obstacle to get around. Thankfully, she was a regular and only wanted small trim and a root touch-up, so I didn’t have to do much thinking. I tried to be fully present in every moment of my life, but today, it wasn’t happening. My thoughts were pointed squarely in the direction of the stone house and its occupant.