Cut Short

by Julia Wolf

  After we finished our food and drinks and said goodnight to my friends, Joe and I held hands and walked slowly toward his house.

  “Frannie is hilarious. Eliza is harder to read, but I think I’ll really like her too when I get to know her more. Anyone who loves music is a friend of mine,” Joe told me.

  “I’m so glad you like my friends. If you didn’t, we’d have some serious problems, mister.”

  In truth, I was incredibly turned on by how easily Joe fit in with my group. We had all met up at the wine bar once before, and the next day, Frannie and Eliza had given their wholehearted stamps of approval. Frannie had declared, “That guy is officially not a tool.”

  When we reached Joe’s front porch, I gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him to me.

  “You, sir, are the best.” I kissed him hard, and he picked me up and carried me inside.

  He messed my hair up good that night, and I didn’t even mind.

  Twenty-Eight

  Once my last client of the day left Salon 410, I sat with Eliza at the reception desk for a minute. She worked on what seemed like never-ending paperwork as I looked over my schedule, groaning when I saw Mrs. Hanson’s name on the books.

  Eliza chuckled when she noticed. “I know you love her deep down. And she definitely loves you.” I smiled and shook my head. Eliza, ever the eternal optimist, always said that about Mrs. Hanson. “What are you going to do with your two days off?” she asked softly. Tomorrow started my two consecutive days off, and I felt giddy with the possibilities. Hopefully, a lot of time would be spent in bed with Joe.

  “I have no plans other than Joe’s concert tonight. Having no plans is kind of exciting, actually.”

  Eliza smiled and patted my hand. “I can’t wait to finally see him perform. Is he nervous?”

  I sighed, thinking about him onstage. “I don’t think he gets nervous up there. If he does, he never lets it show. He has some definite swagger.”

  Gathering my bags, I squeezed Eliza’s shoulder and reminded her, “Dinner at six at La Cantina, and then we’ll head over to the park for the concert.” She nodded. I waved to Frannie, who was doing a blow-dry, then stepped outside.

  I walked down the hill toward my apartment, and on a whim, stopped in at my favorite shop, Trash to Treasure. I went straight to the back of the store where I had spotted a small picture I wanted to get for Joe’s house. The eight by ten frame held an outline of Maryland with the words, “There is absolutely, positively no place like home” filling the inside. I smiled as I picked it up, imagining the spot near his front door where I wanted to hang it.

  After I paid, I browsed a bit on the way out, stopping to read the irreverent greeting cards. I sputtered with laughter when I came across one saying, “I love you with all my butt. (It’s bigger than my heart.)”

  “Aren’t those funny? I’ve been here cackling to myself for five minutes,” said the man next to me. I glanced at him and smiled. He looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place him. He’d probably been in the salon before.

  “So funny,” I agreed.

  “Hey, do you happen to know if there’s a coffee shop around here?”

  “There is. If you walk to the bottom of Main Street, you’ll find my favorite coffee place in the world. Trust me, you’ll want a honey lavender iced coffee.”

  He smiled, and said, “I’ve never heard of such a flavor, but I am intrigued enough to try it.”

  The man went back to looking at the cards. “Oh my god, I have to show this to my husband.” He held the card out to me so I could see a picture of a hot dog and the words, “You’re the only wiener for my bun.”

  “That is simply amazing,” I replied. I hadn’t been sure if he’d been hitting on me, but I was relieved he had a husband and I wouldn’t have to deal with unwanted flirtation.

  The man looked over my shoulder, and called out, “Honey, come see this.”

  I turned to see who he was talking to and the blood drained from my face when we made eye contact. I almost dropped my bag, but was able to grip it tightly and hurry outside without looking back.

  Walking quickly down the street in the direction of the safety of my apartment, I stopped short when I heard my name from close behind me. David put his hand on my shoulder, and I turned around, shrugging him off.

  “Rachel, where are you going? Didn’t you see me in the store?” my ex-husband asked.

  Goosebumps formed on my arms and I shivered. I thought I might have been in shock. I hadn’t seen David for a really long time and had only spoken to him through lawyers once I left him.

  “Um, I’m just heading home, s-so nice to see you,” I stammered. My feet felt like they were made of lead, and I couldn’t force them to move even though I desperately wanted to escape. I stared at him, watching as his familiar eyes raked over my body. I saw him notice the ten pounds I’d gained since the divorce, and he cringed, as if I disgusted him.

  “So you actually live here now? Do you still do hair at that little shop your friend owns?” He didn’t bother to hide the disdain in his voice.

  Before I could answer, the man I had been talking to in the shop walked up next to us. “Honey, who’s this?” he asked.

  David circled his arm around his waist and told him, “Oh, this is just Rachel. Rachel, this is my husband, Steven.”

  I nodded, remembering exactly where I had seen Steven before. A calm washed over me, and I said, “Riiiight. I know who you are, Steven. I walked in on my husband nailing you in our bedroom. I’m glad this whole thing worked out for the two of you.” I smiled, baring my teeth. “David, I do live here,” I seethed, gathering my courage. “If you come back to Tiber City and you happen to see me, please walk the other way. I’d rather never see you or speak to you again.” He started to reply, but I held up my hand. “No, I am done hearing what you have to say. That is poor Steven’s job now. Good luck, Steven. I hope he’s a better and more faithful husband to you than he was to me.”

  I turned my back on them, not bothering to check their expressions as I quickly walked away. My hands were shaking, and tears were welling in my eyes, but I was proud of myself for not crying in front of them.

  I wanted to run to Joe so badly, but he was getting ready for his show; plus I truly didn’t want him to see me like this. Just seeing David made me feel like the weak person I had been for way too long.

  When I got to my apartment, I turned the shower on as hot as it could go. I undressed and stepped in, wincing at the scalding water on my back. I sat on the floor, pulled my legs to my chest, and finally let the tears flow.

  I despised David, mostly because of who I had been when we were together. But an itty bitty, teeny tiny, microscopic part of me couldn’t help but be pleased that he seemed to be finally living his truth. I sobbed harder when I realized, after all he’d put me through, I still cared about him in a small way.

  My skin glowed pink when I dragged myself out of the shower. I stood in the middle of my bedroom for a long time, just staring at the wall, replaying the encounter with David over and over. My eyes strayed to the clock, and I was startled at how much time had passed.

  I had a night out to get ready for, and I couldn’t be late.

  Twenty-Nine

  Me: I’m running late. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Order me a margarita!

  Him: I miss you, sweet girl. One margarita on the way. We’re out on the patio!

  Me: See you soon, Joe!

  Frantically, I rushed around my bathroom, trying to get ready and hide the evidence of my tears. My eyes were puffy and red, which makeup and eye drops only partially hid. Hopefully, it was only obvious to me.

  I wore a short, white romper with spaghetti straps I knew Joe would appreciate. My hair fell in loose waves around my shoulders. I checked my reflection one last time, deemed myself acceptable, then, with shaky hands, put on my red wedges and ran out the door.

  La Cantina was a lively, brightly colored Mexican restaurant on Main Street. The patio wa
s busy, but I spotted my group easily. Joe stood up and walked over to me. Even though there were people all around us, I hugged him tightly. He kissed my neck and said into my ear, “I missed you.”

  I smiled up at him, and we walked hand in hand to our table. A few of our friends had come out for Joe’s concert.

  He introduced me to the one person at the table I didn’t recognize: his college roommate. “Rach, this is Alex. Alex, this is Rachel.”

  I held my hand out to shake, but Alex stood up and gave me a friendly hug.

  “Awesome to meet you, Rachel. Glad you got our boy back home,” he said.

  I waved him off. “Oh, I didn’t have anything to do with it.” Joe squeezed my hand and kissed the top of my head.

  Before I sat down, I went around the table, hugging Maya and her husband, Lee, and blew kisses to Frannie, Eliza, and Laurel.

  I sat down next to Frannie and across from Joe and took a long drink of the margarita that had been waiting for me. I still felt raw, like a nerve had been dug up and exposed, and I hoped the tequila would at least take the edge off. Inhaling deeply, I smiled at Joe, and he held my hand in the middle of the table.

  “Are you ready?” I asked him.

  He nodded and grinned. “It has been too long since I stepped foot on a stage. I’ve been so involved in the house, I haven’t been playing as much as I normally do. I’m ready to shake the cobwebs off.”

  “Well, you can play for me anytime. I love your voice,” I said softly.

  We placed our orders, and the group got to know each other. Maya regaled everyone with tales from their amazing trip, then Laurel quizzed Lee about what it was like to be in a band with his wife.

  “We have a lot of fun being creative together. Now, I have been in bands with boyfriends in the past, and we fought like cats and dogs. Like me and Joe—not a good combination—which is why we didn’t work as a couple,” Maya explained.

  Laurel gasped dramatically and looked at Joe. “You and Maya were a thing?”

  He laughed and nodded. “A million years ago. Junior year of college.”

  Alex scoffed. “Thank god you hooked up with Maya. When I moved into the dorm and met Joe junior year, he was the saddest sack that ever sacked.”

  The hairs stood up on the back of my neck, and I grabbed Frannie’s hand under the table. I felt her eyes on me, but leaned in to hear exactly what Alex said.

  Everyone laughed, and Laurel looked back and forth between Alex and Joe. “What was up with that?” she asked.

  Alex shrugged his shoulders. “He’d gotten his heart broken by some girl back home. He wouldn’t tell me details, just that he’d messed up everything with her and she wouldn’t speak to him. For the first semester, the only thing he did was go to class or lay in his bed blasting emo music.” He held his thumb and index finger an inch apart. “I got this close to requesting a transfer to a new room, but he came back from winter break with a new girl and actually seemed human. He was still mopey as hell, but the cloud had lifted. If he listened to emo music, at least he did it with headphones on.”

  As the topic of conversation strayed away from Joe, I looked at him and found him gazing steadily at me. Our eyes connected, mine full of questions about what I had just heard. He nodded, as if to tell me it was all true. He’d been heartbroken over me too. I swiped my wet eyes with the back of my hand and looked away, my emotions feeling even more raw.

  Joe had been broken hearted? Fucking Joe broke my heart! My mind raced, unsure what to think, or feel. I wanted nothing more than for the earth to swallow me up in that moment, just for a reprieve from all the emotions that had unexpectedly come barreling at me.

  Our food arrived, and I picked at my tacos while everyone laughed and talked around me. Joe kept trying to catch my attention, but I studied my plate as if the secrets of the universe were embedded there.

  Joe pushed back from his seat and stood up. “I hate to eat and run, but I have to head over to the park to get ready. See you guys soon.” Everyone cheered and wished him luck. Before he left, he kneeled beside me and held my hand.

  “You okay, sweet girl?” he asked quietly.

  I pinched my lips together and willed the tears back. I looked into his beautiful, concerned eyes and nodded, unable to force the words out of my mouth.

  He brushed his hand down the back of my hair and kissed my lips so tenderly, I almost sobbed. “I’ll see you soon, Rachel. I really hope you like the songs I chose.”

  I watched him as he walked out, still able to admire the swagger in his step even though I felt like I might shatter into a million pieces at any moment.

  The group walked to the park together, but I trailed behind with Frannie.

  She started, “Junior year of college was when…”

  I nodded.

  “That fucker was heartbroken? How dare he!” she growled and threw her arm around my shoulder. “Want me to kill him for you? He’s big, but I’m scrappy. I could take him.”

  I couldn’t help it, I laughed. It started out small, but the laugh grew into gut-busting hysteria. I leaned over, holding my stomach, riding the wave of laughter racking my body. Frannie stood and watched with a worried look on her face.

  When the laughter finally subsided, I stood up straight and wiped my eyes.

  “I’m sorry I’m being so crazy. I ran into David today. He’s married to the guy he cheated on me with. Well, one of the guys. And now this Joe stuff. It’s too much for one day,” I said.

  Frannie groaned. “Dick-face David stepped foot in our town? Gross.” She pulled me into her arms and held me tight against her. “Want me to take him out too?”

  I chuckled bitterly. “I told him off, just a little bit.” She high-fived me, and we started walking again. I told her every detail of the encounter as we made our way to the park.

  “You are the best friend I’ve ever had. No one’s ever offered to bump someone off for me.”

  She smiled. “I have to protect my sweet ginger hippie.”

  Our group waved us over when we entered the park. They were sitting very close to the small stage, which was surrounded by tea lights in mason jars. Strands of white lights were strung from trees overhead. It was a simple setup, but it suited Joe’s mellow performing style.

  I sat near Maya in a folding camp chair. She grinned at me, and said, “I haven’t watched him perform from the audience in forever.”

  I looked at the stage. “The last time I saw him was with you. Before that, it had been since high school.”

  “Oh wow, I didn’t know you knew him then. Huh, he never told me that, and he talks non-stop about you.”

  I shrugged. “We were more online friends back then.” I didn’t want to explain to Maya how I fell hard for him years ago, so I kept my answer short.

  I was mad, angry, confused, and sad, but I loved Joe’s voice and wanted nothing more than to lose myself in his performance and forget about the ache in my chest, if only for a little while.

  When he came onstage, our group whistled and cheered while the rest of the people in the full park applauded politely. I smiled to myself. They had no idea what a treat they were in for.

  “Hey, everyone. I’m Joe Silver. I moved to Tiber City a couple months ago, and I love everything about it. Tonight I’m going to sing some of my favorite songs. Hope you like it.”

  He strummed his guitar, then said into the microphone, “‘Don’t Panic.’” I closed my eyes as he crooned, letting myself fall under the spell of the sound of his voice. I recognized the Coldplay song, though Joe’s version sounded completely different than the original.

  He moved into the second song, and said, “‘Caring is Creepy.’” His version of The Shins song was slow and raspy, and I swayed to the rhythm he strummed on his guitar.

  The sun hadn’t quite set, so when I looked around the park at the audience, enough light remained to see Joe held his crowd in rapt attention. A few people were even singing along with him.

  He searched the crowd, m
et my eyes, and said, “‘I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You.’” My heart sped up as he sang the Colin Hay song right to me. The lyrics are about a man who is living his life, but knows even if he lives until one hundred and two, he’ll never move on, never stop loving the one who got away. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I listened to the words, feeling them in my heart and soul.

  “Oh god, not this song,” Alex groaned under his breath.

  Maya laughed softly next to me. “He’s doing the whole soundtrack, it seems. He played it so much when we were together, I wanted to kill him.”

  Alex snapped his fingers, and said, “Yes! I thought I remembered the other songs. He’s playing the Garden State soundtrack. He used to listen to this on repeat in college.”

  I realized they were right, and he continued to play most of the music from the movie as if the songs had been written for him—as if they told his story.

  Joe then began plucking out a very familiar, melancholy tune. “This last song is for my girl. When we knew each other in our previous lives, this was her favorite song, even though it’s depressing as hell. ‘Needle in the Hay.’”

  I choked out a sob. He remembered. Fifteen years ago, on the night we first met, I gathered my courage and argued that The Royal Tenenbaums had the best movie soundtrack, better than Garden State. “Needle in the Hay” was still one of my all-time favorite songs, especially when I needed a good cry. To know he had stored away what I told him—had filed it in his memories—was almost too much to take. I squirmed in my chair, physically fighting the urge to run.

  Maya passed me a tissue as I quietly cried. She squeezed my knee. “Emotional song, huh?”

  I wiped my tears, taking deep, shuddery breaths. “It really is.” Even though she had misinterpreted the reason for my tears, she was still right.

  She smiled gently. “I’ve known Joe for a long time. He’s happy with you. That’s clear as day.”

  I nodded, not knowing what to say to her. Even though I was happier than I had ever been in my whole life, sometimes I still felt like all we had together was borrowed—that it wasn’t mine and I would have to give it back one day. Just like I used to pretend the stone house was mine, but it never was, and I knew it in my heart.