by F. C. Clark
His brows rise. ‘I will never have control over you.’
‘At last you see the light.’
‘Anyway, how’s Declan? Has he said much to you?’ I ask.
‘About work or about Kiki?’
‘Kiki.’
‘Nothing, but I know he’s upset about losing the baby. I think coming with me will do him good. We can talk.’
‘Kiki said he hasn’t really left her side since they lost the baby. I can’t imagine what they’ve been through.’
‘They seem to be moving on.’
‘I know, but I feel bad for them, especially after last week and the bleeding – that could have been us. Anyway, going away with the pack will do her good.’
‘I’m sure you will have fun, although I am surprised you invited Alexis.’
‘It feels right, what with the shares and the three of us in charge of Bagrov and Cooper. Besides, Harry said she’s really excited. The only thing is, I feel bad about – well, if it was Katenka?’
‘I spoke to Sullivan last night. No news on Katenka. I wish you could tell them she was here, but we have no proof.’ He brushes his hand against my cheek.
‘I know you’re right, but I hate lying to Harry.’
‘You’re not lying.’
‘OK, but I’m holding out on her. Same thing, really. So, I’m thinking that if it was her, for some crazy fucked-up reason, she might come back.’
‘I don’t want to see you hurt.’
‘Hurt? It’s a bit late for that. Anyway, you’re my armour, Luke.’
‘Ivor called me,’ he blurts out.
‘What? When?’
‘Late last night – you were asleep.’
‘And you waited until now to tell me.’
‘We only woke up half an hour ago, and you’ve been … demanding my attention since.’
‘Why didn’t he call me?’ I run my fingers across Luke’s taut chest. ‘What’s so special about you?’ I smile.
‘I hope a few things about me are special, since you married me.’ His brows shoot up. ‘Take your time listing them, baby. I have all day.’
‘This could take a while.’ I laugh. ‘Seriously, what did he want?’
‘He’s arriving in London tonight. He’s kept his word and made contact before visiting. I told him you were away for a couple of days and you’ll contact him when you get back.’
‘And you’re OK with that?’
‘Do I have a choice? He hasn’t given me any reason to doubt him – yet. He did mention that he was going to contact your parents today.’
‘Crap. Really?’
‘This is their issue – let them sort it out.’
‘Thank God Harry and I will be AWOL for few days.’
‘I agree. Perfect timing. Don’t give Max too many problems.’ He tries to lighten the mood.
‘I won’t – besides, he’s invited Valerie to stay with him… Who would have thought they’d work so well together? Oh yes, I did, the woman with the Cupid’s bow and arrow.’
‘It worked out this time.’
‘What can I say? Maybe you should listen to me more often, and feel free to leave your car keys next to my bed…’
‘Is that right?’ Luke laughs.
‘Kate – seat belt.’
‘Yes, sir.’ I salute.
‘Watch it.’
‘Did Luke give you a badge – the one that states I must treat Kate like a child?’
He shakes his head. ‘Christ – I have a two-and-a-half-hour drive with you.’
‘Aren’t you lucky?’
Max begins the journey to Sandbanks. As Luke needed to visit Dubai, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to take the pack – except Molly – to see our holiday home. However, we still have no furniture! With that in mind, the back of the Range Rover is full of airbeds and extra bedding. Let the indoor camping experience begin – except for Max and Valerie, who will sleep in the studio above the garage.
‘What time will Valerie arrive?’ I ask.
‘Later. She has an appointment this morning.’
‘Oh.’ I look out of the window, trying to hide my smile.
‘I know what you’ve been up to, Harper.’
I turn to him. ‘Sutton.’
‘Pain in the arse, Harper.’
‘Not lately.’
‘Setting me up with Valerie.’ His vision flits from me to the road. ‘Did you honestly think I didn’t know what you were up to, asking me to drop Valerie home? Not to mention that our hotel rooms were always next to each other.’
‘Coincidence.’
‘Coincidence, my arse.’
‘Do you like her – I mean, really like her?’
‘I’m not answering that.’ He doesn’t need to. I see the look of love written across his face.
‘I’m so happy for you.’
‘This has nothing to do with you.’
‘That’s where you’re wrong.’
‘You really have some balls.’
‘You know how much you mean to me and Luke. I want you to be happy, and Valerie is perfect for you. When you danced with her at our wedding… Well, I knew there was something there. Do you love her?’
‘Jesus, Kate.’
I hold my hands up. ‘Like I said, I just want you to be happy. Do you think you’ll get married? Please do it in Bora Bora.’
‘There’s no stopping you. You’re like a dog with a fucking bone.’
Eventually we arrive at Sandbanks and unpack the car. Once all the airbeds are set up in the lounge Max leaves me and heads to the studio.
First to arrive are Barney and Kiki. The house fills with noise.
‘I wish Sutton batted for the other side. This house is the dog’s bollocks, and to think he gave this to you for Christmas! What will Santa get you this year?’
‘Two healthy babies.’ Instantly I regret my words. ‘Shit, sorry, Kiki. Come here.’ I pull her into my arms.
‘Kate, it’s fine.’
‘No, it isn’t fine. I shouldn’t have said that.’
She pulls away to look at me. ‘Don’t wrap me up in cotton wool. You’re my best friend and I want you to enjoy your pregnancy.’
‘And Declan?’ We walk into the kitchen.
‘It seems to have brought us closer.’
‘Christ, life deals you some shit cards.’
‘Both of us, Kate! How about your bleeding last week?’
‘I guess.’
‘Kate, I mean it. I want you to talk about your pregnancy. I have to get over it.’
‘I want you to be godmother, and Harry, and Molly, but don’t tell anyone.’
‘Tell anyone what?’ Barney says as he enters the room.
‘Nothing.’
He tilts his head and sits next to me. ‘I smell bullshit, Harper.’
‘I was clearing the air with Kiki – pregnancy talk.’
‘Kiki, you’ll get knocked up again soon, babe. Loads of my mates have had miscarriages.’
‘I wished I lived in his world,’ I say to Kiki. She smiles at his candid response.
‘Got any food? I’m bloody starving,’ Barney asks.
‘Chimichanga for dinner, but if you can’t wait there are snacks in the fridge. Why don’t we go for a walk? The others will be at least another hour.’
The three of us walk along the shoreline, our boots sinking into the sand.
‘There’s nothing like the sea to blow the cobwebs away.’ I link my arm through Kiki’s. ‘This will do you good – a few days away.’
She nods and inhales the sea air.
‘Are you sure you’re OK?’ I say.
‘Each day is a little easier.’
‘I wish there was something I could do. I know I haven’t been there
for you lately.’
‘Kate, you lost Mr Jones.’
‘Ivor’s back in London. Apparently he called Luke last night. As part of the deal, Ivor has to check with Luke before he can enter the country.’
Kiki’s brows shoot up. ‘What the fuck? Luke should work for the government – oh, he did. You sure know how to pick them!’
‘Tell me about it,’ I say. ‘I kind of get it. Luke doesn’t trust him – yet.’
‘Have you spoken to him – I mean Ivor?’
‘No. He told Luke he’s meeting up with Mum and Dad today.’
‘Ouch! Honourable, I guess.’
‘Thank God me and Harry aren’t around.’
‘What did Harry say about Ivor meeting them?’
‘I texted her on the way. We haven’t spoken about it. She struggles with the whole Ivor situation,’ I say.
‘Wouldn’t you? I mean, we thought Ivor was bad… You got the better deal.’
‘Maybe,’ I say.
We stop. ‘What the bloody hell is he doing? Barney!’ I shout. ‘Look at him.’ Kiki and I can’t help laughing at Barney, who’s making sand angels on the beach.
‘I told Declan it would be a laugh a minute with him around.’
‘Luke said Declan seems OK.’
‘Like I said, it’s brought us closer… Sounds stupid, doesn’t it? Losing our child makes us realise we want to be together. He’s been amazing. I never thought it would have affected him the way it has.’
‘And you? Do you want to wait, or…’
‘Honestly?’ She looks at me. ‘We’re not ready, but one thing is for certain, I want a baby… Not today or this year, but I do want one.’
‘And you will have one, and you’ll make the best mummy in the world.’
***
Harry claps, delighted. ‘I was hoping you were going to cook, but I didn’t want you to overdo it.’
‘I’m fine.’
‘Can I help?’ Alexis hovers awkwardly.
‘Yeah, can you find a bowl for the salad? Harry, take the napkins and drinks into the lounge.’
Eventually we gather around the fire, surrounded by scatter cushions. A tablecloth has been laid on the floor to serve as our table. We begin to devour our meal.
‘Kate, this is lovely. I miss your food deliveries,’ Alexis says.
‘One guess why Sutton married her,’ Barney says with a mouth full.
‘My charisma,’ I answer.
‘Yeah, right? What fucking charisma?’
‘Oi…’ I throw my napkin at him. ‘You’re probably right.’
As everyone seems to be chatting, I look at Alexis. She’s trying to relax but also remains guarded.
‘Is it weird being here?’ I say.
She shakes her head. ‘It only feels like yesterday.’
‘I know it does. Luke and I came down here a few weeks back. I needed to get rid of the memory. This place is our sanctuary. Luke proposed to me here, on the beach.’
‘It is a beautiful house.’
‘It will be when I get round to buying some furniture for it.’
‘Kate, I spent last weekend with Charles and…’ Alexis sips her wine – I’m guessing for Dutch courage.
‘You told him?’ I ask and she nods. ‘Everything or everything?’
She stifles a laugh. ‘Both – about Russia and my father.’
‘You needed someone else to talk to. I know it sounds odd, but I trust him.’
‘He likes you, he always has. Are you OK that I told him?’
‘It’s your news. One thing, though, don’t tell Luke.’
‘Charles’s lips are sealed.’
‘How was he – I mean, about…’
‘My dad?’ she says.
I nod.
‘Shocked and…’ She looks down. ‘Sad.’ Our eyes meet. ‘He was genuinely upset and angry.’
‘And now, do you feel better? That sounds crap, because how can you, but—’
‘I know what you mean.’
‘A problem shared,’ I say.
She smiles. ‘He understands that I need to take it slow. Plus, he didn’t buy the appendix story. I never mentioned Katenka.’
Oh, crap. ‘Best not to. We don’t know what the deal is with Joseph Morley and we’ll probably never find out. His dad is a powerful man and maybe what we don’t know won’t hurt us. Luke also said it could open up a can of worms.’
Her eyes glaze over and I reach for her hand. ‘You’re doing bloody well,’ I say.
‘Thanks. Anyway, Harry said you had another scan the other day.’
‘Yep, everything is fine. I’ve got another appointment next week,’ I say and my hand goes automatically to my bump.
‘Good. Have you got over the shock of being pregnant yet?’
I laugh. ‘Yes and no. I still can’t believe I’m going to be a mum.’
The next day is a lazy one. The only reason we decide to get dressed is to go for a walk – at two in the afternoon. After a long stroll along the sunny beach we return with glowing cheeks.
We’re all ravenous – but I have a knot in my stomach: a sense of betrayal towards Harry. Every time I close my eyes I see Katenka again. It was her, I’m certain of it. Either way, I don’t like keeping secrets from Harry.
‘Kate.’ Harry interrupts my tormented thoughts. ‘Can I do anything?’
‘No,’ I respond and slide the chicken pie into the oven.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘What?’ I turn to face her.
Harry comes closer. ‘I know when something’s up with you.’
‘I’m fine.’
‘You’ve been on another planet all day.’
‘Hormones,’ I say and look away.
‘If you say so, but I know you.’
I take a deep breath. ‘OK, there is something.’ Oh crap, here goes. I turn to face her.
‘What is it?’
‘I don’t know where to begin.’
‘At the beginning… it’s usually the best place.’ She smiles, trying to relax me.
‘I warn you, this makes no sense, OK?’
‘Now you’re worrying me.’
‘Last week, when I bled. Just before I collapsed…’
‘What? You never said you collapsed.’
‘I thought I did.’
‘Er, no. You just said you had a bleed.’
‘My blood pressure was low, that’s why I collapsed. Anyway, I was at the house with Rosie, and the security man on the gate said my mother was here – you know she forgets the code.’
‘Yeah…’
‘So I told them to let her in.’ How do I say what I saw?
‘Go on.’
‘It wasn’t Mum.’
‘So who was it?’
‘The woman was blonde.’
Harry looks confused.
‘The woman – she looked like Katenka.’
‘What do you mean, she looked like Katenka?’
‘Exactly that. I don’t remember anything else because I collapsed.’
‘She’s dead! Christ. Cooper told you so.’
‘I know, but who was the woman standing in my hallway? Rosie saw her too.’
Harry begins to pace the kitchen. ‘This is seriously fucked up. So you’re telling me our mum isn’t dead?’
‘No. I don’t know what it means. Luke and I looked on the CCTV footage and you can’t tell who it is. She wore dark glasses. You couldn’t see her face.’
‘Why am I only hearing about this now?’ She fists her hands on her hips.
‘There was nothing to tell. I really don’t know who the woman was… and Luke thought it might upset you…’
‘This has fuck all to do with Luke.’ She cuts me off. ‘Our dead
mum may have turned up at your house and you didn’t bother to tell me? You’re out of order, Kate.’
‘I didn’t want to upset you, that’s why I never said anything. Besides, I don’t know who she was. Like you said, our mum is dead. But… she looked like her.’
I walk towards Harry. She steps backwards.
‘Harry, please.’
‘No! I’m furious with you. How dare you keep this from me?’ Her voice is loud and full of rage.
‘Hey, what’s going on? I can hear you in the other room,’ Barney says.
‘Why don’t you ask Kate?’ Harry spits.
‘Harry, please.’
Barney turns to me. ‘Kate?’
I look away.
Harry steps in. ‘Apparently our birth mum – you know, the one who’s dead – magically turned up at Kate’s house wait for it – last bloody week.’
Barney looks at me. ‘What the fuck?’
‘Yes. What the fuck, Kate?’ Harry mimics his response.
‘I collapsed after I saw her, so I don’t remember anything else. It may not be her. Anyway, whoever it was just walked out.’
‘But you thought it was? Un-bloody-believable.’
‘Harry, please, I didn’t tell you because—’
‘Kate, you’re not in charge of me! You shouldn’t have kept this a secret.’
‘Even if it was her, I don’t know where she went.’
‘Babe, Harry is right. You should have told her.’
‘Cheers, Barney!’ I say.
‘At least he’s looking out for me, unlike my so-called sister.’
‘That’s not fair, I would do anything for you,’ I say.
‘Except tell me the truth? I can’t tell you how disappointed I am with you.’
Harry exits the kitchen, pushing past Kiki and Alexis.
‘What’s going on?’ Kiki asks.
‘Girls, go after Harry,’ Barney commands. ‘They’ve had words.’
Not wanting to relive the last ten minutes, I rush past everyone and head upstairs, slam the bedroom door shut and fall onto my bed, sobbing.
‘Fuck, fuck, fuck,’ I mutter under my breath.
After a while I manage to calm down. Knowing I can’t change things, I grab my phone. I ring Luke.
‘Hi, baby.’
‘Hi,’ I mutter.
‘What’s wrong?’
