Harper's Finale

by F. C. Clark

  ‘You’d do the same. In fact, you have – twice.’

  ‘I’m trained, you’re not.’

  ‘I am.’ I smile. ‘Sort of.’

  He takes a breath. ‘Kate, the way I feel about you. I can’t describe it.’

  ‘Back at you, Luke.’

  ‘I need you.’

  ‘You have me. That will never change.’

  ‘Let’s go to bed.’

  I stand up and slip my hand into his. Silently we climb the stairs. I watch Luke strip. He has some bruising across his cheekbone, but it’s not too bad. He wears a bandage around his body, covering his stitched knife wound.

  He looks at me. ‘It looks worse than it is.’

  ‘You look like shit.’ I slide into bed.

  ‘Thanks.’ He smiles and lies next to me, and pulling me close and gently presses his lips to mine.

  I pull away. ‘You need to rest.’

  ‘Right now I want you.’

  ‘You’re kidding, aren’t you?’

  His dark eyes rest on mine.

  ‘You’re not kidding?’

  ‘Let me love you, Kate. I need to be inside you. It’s the same for you – don’t look at me like you don’t understand.’

  ‘But, Luke, you’re hurt.’

  His lips find mine in the dark, and we make love.

  Afterwards, I lie next to him. ‘You’re not OK, are you? This was too much.’

  He pulls me to him and I rest my head on his chest.

  ‘I thought you were dead,’ I say.

  ‘I told you I would have escaped somehow.’

  ‘I don’t want to think about it. I can’t. Do you think Paul is resting now, knowing the evil bastard who killed him has gone to hell?’

  ‘I hope so.’

  ‘And this is why you’ve been odd? You knew Anderson was going to try something? All the time you were telling me not to go anywhere alone, you knew. But how? I asked you about Anderson and you said nothing, Luke.’

  ‘I have my sources, Kate, and I knew something was up. There’s too much to go into now, and that’s not me shutting you out, it’s me saying I don’t have the energy to explain why today happened. Can you give me some time?’

  I remain silent.

  ‘Hey, I’m not shutting you out, but today has been – fuck.’ His eyes close and he takes a breath. ‘You killed a man to protect me. Not just any man, but a man I have wanted dead for a very long time.’

  ‘How long have you been looking for him?’

  Luke’s lip curls. ‘Kate.’

  ‘I need to know.’ After all, I did kill him.

  ‘We heard through different sources that he was looking into me and Max.’

  ‘Fuck! Was he following you, us? Jesus, Luke, he was coming for you.’

  ‘Something like that. Listen, Kate, I just need some time. That’s all I ask and then I will answer all your questions.’

  I nod.

  ‘I’m still in shock too, Luke. I never thought I could hurt someone. How wrong was I?’

  ‘It was self-defence. He would have attacked you, or worse.’

  ‘I need to ask you something, Luke. I want complete honesty, OK?’ I shift slightly to see his face. ‘Sullivan and Parker, have you worked with them – I mean, on a job or whatever the hell you call it – since we’ve been together?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Is that the absolute truth, Luke? I don’t care if you have; I just need to know. I need to know the times you have worked away or when you worked late that you weren’t off chasing some lunatic.’

  He smiles. ‘I have not and will not be chasing any lunatics.’

  ‘What, never? James said you’re never really free, and with all the weird shit in your secret room, I didn’t know what to think.’

  ‘Firstly, there’s young blood taking over where I worked – that’s the same for Sullivan and Parker. We’re all getting older. But…’

  ‘I knew there would be a but!’

  His arm pulls me tighter. ‘As I have told you before, our training was unique and sometimes a job needs our expertise.’

  ‘So you’re not free.’

  ‘I will make a promise to you. If I am ever called upon to take on a job I will tell you.’

  ‘OK, I guess.’ I run my fingers through his hair. ‘Why are the boys staying?’

  ‘To look after you. And I need to rest.’

  ‘I’m pleased they’re here.’

  He gently caresses my cheek.

  ‘You’re right, Luke – the truth is ugly.’

  ‘We’ll get through it.’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘Not maybe, we will. By the way, James told me he spoke to you.’

  ‘He said I had to wait for you to need me. Is that what happened at your desk downstairs? You were crying. I’ve only ever seen you cry when we discussed Paul, and at our wedding.’

  ‘I don’t cry that often.’ He laughs. ‘Ow, Jesus. I’m bloody sore.’

  ‘I know the real Luke Sutton, the man who is sensitive, caring and passionate – OK, you’re controlling and irrational too.’

  ‘Only with you, but you never listen to me.’

  Then I feel something. ‘Luke!’

  ‘What?’ He looks panicked.

  ‘I felt something! It happened the other day and this morning…’

  I lie on my back, keeping very still. Seconds later, I feel it again.

  ‘It’s like a flutter. Oh my God, I can’t describe it.’

  ‘The girls are moving.’ His face comes alive and he wears the biggest smile.

  After the most terrifying day, the most amazing moment.

  Luke presses his lips to my bump. ‘My beautiful girls, Mummy and Daddy love you.’ His dark eyes meet mine. ‘I love you, Kate, and thank you for saving me – and not just today,’ he says.

  ‘I love you too. You know, we will always be worlds apart, Luke, but our souls will always be together.’

  ‘Always, baby.’

  34 WEEKS AND ONE DAY…

  The room is completely dark. I reach for my phone. As predicted, it’s three o’clock in the bloody morning, which means two things: I need the bathroom and I need food. Luke is radiating so much heat, he’s like a furnace.

  I push myself up from the bed. Any movement lately is an effort. ‘Come on, girls,’ I say playfully to my bump. At my last antenatal check-up, I was measuring 40 weeks, even though I still have a few weeks to go. How much bigger will I get? I’ll ask Dr Jenkins on Wednesday at my next antenatal appointment.

  After eating a plate of leftover Mexican chicken, I scan the fridge to see what else I fancy.

  ‘I see the fridge thief is at large.’

  I turn to see Luke watching me from the doorway.

  ‘Yep – I am large.’ I cradle my bump. ‘You told me yesterday that I haven’t got any bigger. You lied. Jesus, Luke, I’m ready to burst – literally.’

  ‘You look beautiful.’

  ‘And large!’

  ‘Only for the next six weeks.’

  ‘Actually, it’s five weeks and six days, not that I’m counting. That’s when I’ll get my body back – especially my bladder.’

  Luke holds his hands up in defeat.

  ‘You should be asleep – you’ll be leaving soon,’ I say.

  ‘I woke up and realised you were missing.’

  ‘My body clock is all over the place. I want to sleep all day and wake up bloody early!’

  ‘Tell me,’ he leans over my shoulder, ‘what exactly are you eating?’

  ‘I’ve eaten the leftover Mexican chicken – sorry. Anyway, now I’ve got rocket salad, caramelised onions, grated cheddar and beetroot – and let’s not forget ready salted Walkers crisps.’

  ‘Our poor children.’
<
br />   ‘Hey – don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.’

  ‘I’ll pass.’

  ‘I’ve been thinking about the girls’ names.’

  ‘This sounds ominous.’

  ‘Can I have a drum roll?’

  ‘Get on with it, Harper.’

  ‘Sage and Thyme.’

  He laughs. ‘Are you joking?’

  ‘I really like them.’

  ‘No way! Where did you conjure them up – in the larder?’

  ‘No, not exactly, but they did come to me the other day while I was cooking. Listen, Sage Sutton and Thyme Sutton… Don’t they sound nice? I like them.’

  ‘I don’t.’

  ‘You’re impossible.’

  ‘Give me names that are real, not names they’ll be teased for at school.’

  ‘I never had you down as dull.’

  ‘Bed,’ he commands.

  ‘Yes, please.’ I stand between his legs.

  He understands the look in my eyes.

  ‘I’m serious. I want to have sex. I just feel – you know how I feel. Anyway, I can’t control my bloody hormones. It’s not my fault.’

  ‘I’m not complaining.’

  He slides his hands under my T-shirt. ‘How about the same position as yesterday?’

  I nod. ‘Say it.’

  He laughs.

  ‘Go on,’ I plead.

  ‘You know I want to fuck you.’ With these words, my body is ready.

  When I open my eyes, a little light filters across the bedroom. It’s a perfect November day. I prop myself on to my elbows, looking for something. Luke flew to Dubai after we made love at three thirty this morning, so the next best thing lies next to me – a note.

  Dear Kate

  Be good and please relax. I have noticed your ankles are swelling (not fat, merely water retention).

  Have fun with Barney. If you need anything, ask Max.

  Girls, be good to Mummy. Don’t give her heartburn and try not to press on her bladder.

  Luke xx

  I laugh and wipe tears from my cheeks. Stupidly, I miss him. Get a grip, Harper. As I pull the covers back, I see my fat ankles, which is the only time I can see my feet. At a glance they look OK, not too large – I think!

  Eventually I make it downstairs and head towards the kitchen in my usual grey joggers and T-shirt – the only outfit that still fits me!

  ‘Morning, how are you?’ Rosie comes over. ‘I think your bump has dropped since yesterday.’

  ‘Really? Feels the same. But my back is killing me this morning.’ Too much sex? Maybe!

  ‘Take it easy today. When is Luke home?’

  ‘Later. He won’t be there long. He has a meeting then he’s leaving straight away. Anyway, Barney is coming over to keep me company.’

  ‘Adam told me,’ Rosie says.

  ‘How is he?’ I ask.

  ‘He loves his new job. He’s off today so he might come over this afternoon.’

  ‘OK. I’m going to make some cakes before Barney gets here.’

  ‘Do you think you should? All that standing around. I’m just thinking of your back.’

  ‘I’m fine, just pregnant.’

  After a while I hear Barney singing in the hall.

  ‘I’m in the kitchen,’ I call and remove the last cake from the oven.

  ‘I can smell food.’ He walks through. ‘Good timing. Christ, look at the size of you.’

  ‘Cheers, Barney.’

  He laughs. ‘Babe, you’re pregnant – it’s normal. You’ve grown since last week.’

  ‘Please tell me it’s just the bump that’s grown.’

  ‘Turn around,’ he says.

  I do so.

  ‘From the back you don’t look pregnant. Turn around slowly.’

  I rotate and Barney begins to laugh. ‘Fucking hell, your bump is huge. I’d walk backwards if I were you.’

  ‘Cheers, you little shit.’ I laugh and pass him the bowl and spoon, with the remainder of the butter icing.

  We sit drinking tea and eating cupcakes. Maybe I over-indulge. Oh well. I have just over five weeks left to eat what I want.

  ‘Sutton called me this morning with his orders.’

  ‘Did he? What orders? I haven’t heard from him yet.’

  ‘To be fair, he woke me and Adam up. Anyway, my orders are to make sure you rest.’

  I hold my tea. ‘This is resting, right?’

  ‘Throw in reality TV and I might fake a pregnancy myself, babe,’ he says.

  I laugh.

  ‘I want to organise the girls’ closet today. You haven’t seen the finished nursery, have you?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Actually, I want your honest opinion on the girls’ names.’

  ‘Always.’

  ‘I told Luke and he didn’t like them. We can’t agree on any names at the moment.’

  ‘Go on – hit me with them,’ Barney says.

  ‘Sage and Thyme.’

  He’s silent as he looks out of the window at the clear, cold day. ‘Sage Sutton, Thyme Sutton? Hmm, let me mull them over for a bit and I’ll get back to you.’

  The phone rings.

  ‘Go and get it for me, I’m resting.’

  ‘So, I’m here to be your lackey?’

  ‘Yes,’ I say.

  He grabs the phone. ‘Hormonal pregnant hotline, how may I direct your call?’

  God, he makes me laugh.

  ‘All right, Sutton, your lazy wife ordered me to get the phone. You’ll want line one, but no sex talk – she’s fragile. Oh, by the way, I love the names Sage and Thyme. How did you think of them?’

  ‘Give me the bloody phone,’ I mutter and hold my hand out.

  ‘I’ve planted a seed! If he thinks they’re his idea, he may go for it,’ Barney whispers.

  ‘Are you kidding? This is Luke.’ I take the phone. ‘Hi, how’s Dubai?’

  ‘Warm.’

  ‘Well, it’s cold here, so enjoy it while it lasts.’

  ‘How are you?’

  ‘Fine. I checked my ankles – they also seem fine.’ I laugh.

  ‘You liked your note?’

  ‘I cried.’

  ‘What are you doing other than being entertained by Barney?’

  ‘I’ve had a bath and made some cakes – plus flapjacks for you. Not very exciting, but my back is sore.’

  ‘Too much sex?’ His voice changes, and I know he’s smiling.

  ‘Not enough sex! Be prepared: I need to have you when you get home tonight. When will that be?’

  ‘Soon. I told you it was one quick meeting.’

  ‘Good. I want you with me.’

  ‘Please relax. Barney is watching you for me. Oh, and I’m pleased you have one vote for your herb names.’

  ‘Very funny. I love you.’

  ‘Close your eyes.’ I take Barney’s hand and guide him into the nursery. ‘OK, you can open now.’

  He silently turns around. ‘It’s stunning – definitely not what I expected.’

  ‘What did you think it was going to look like?’ I feel aggrieved.

  ‘Tacky kids’ shit – but this is smart and elegant.’

  He walks around the room. I have kept it simple with ivory walls and the palest of pink silk curtains. The furniture and bedding are white, with a couple of pink blankets. My favourite thing is the matching canopies which skim the front of the cots, made of the same silk as the curtains.

  ‘Honestly, babe, it looks stunning,’ he says.

  ‘Come and see their closet.’

  We enter the closet, which not only houses clothes but all the baby paraphernalia.

  ‘It looks like you’re short on clothes!’ Barney shakes his head in disbelief.

&n
bsp; ‘Luke bought most of these. Every time he goes out he comes home with more stuff.’

  I rest my hands on my stomach.

  ‘You OK?’

  ‘Just uncomfortable. So, I just need to rearrange the clothes in age order.’

  ‘That makes sense. Let’s get on with it.’

  As the closet is relatively large, we can move around with ease and work quickly. After an hour everything is in order.

  ‘Good job,’ Barney says.

  ‘Perfect. I’m ready.’

  ‘I’ll put these here.’ He collects my hospital bag and leaves it by the door.

  ‘I think you deserve some lunch,’ I say. Music to his ears.

  Barney consumes sandwiches with even more cake and a few cups of tea – where the bloody hell does he put it all?

  ‘Shall we watch a film? What do you fancy?’ he asks.

  ‘Whatever. You choose. Not Black Swan, though,’ I answer, tidying the countertops.

  I’ve had a nagging pain in my back all morning. Now, the pain increases and there’s a tightness across my stomach. I feel peculiar. No sooner do I think this than I feel a warm sensation on my legs.

  I look down. ‘Holy fuck!’

  Barney looks across. ‘What?’

  ‘Fuck… No!’

  ‘Kate.’ He walks towards me. ‘Shit, is that what I think it is?’

  ‘Well, I haven’t pissed myself!’ I hope.

  ‘Holy fuck!’

  ‘I know! Fuck. I need Luke.’

  ‘Fuck!’

  ‘Stop saying fuck.’

  ‘You started it,’ he says.

  ‘Fuck!’ I look down again.

  Barney scratches his head. ‘So what now?’

  ‘Let me think. Get Max. No, go upstairs and get my pregnancy book.’

  Barney heads for the hall.

  ‘No, go and get Max.’ He turns and begins to walk towards Max’s apartment. ‘Stop, I need to read what to do.’

  ‘For fuck’s sake! Book or Max?’ He looks at me with frustration. ‘Max!’ Barney shouts as he walks past me. ‘I’ll get your book – problem solved.’

  I stand and look at the pool of water on the floor.

  ‘Kate.’

  I lift my face and make eye contact with Max.

  ‘I need Luke.’