by Parker, Ali
“I don’t blame her. She almost died in there.”
Derek nodded. “Yeah.”
I chuckled and shook my head. “You’d buy a new house for this girl? She must be pretty special.”
Derek smirked. “I’d marry her right now if I knew that’s what she wanted.”
I blinked. “Well shit. That’s a big deal. How do you know it’s not what she wants?”
“Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. But she’s not ready. She needs to sort through all this shit with Jason and see how she feels about us when she comes out the other side. I don’t want her to say yes because she feels obligated. I want her to be in a healthy state of mind when I pop the question too.”
“Makes sense. I doubt she’d say no. I’ve seen how she looks at you. I don’t understand it because you’re a big, dumb, ugly bastard, but I’ve seen it.”
Derek laughed and rolled his eyes at me. “You just wait until you find your woman, Caleb. She’ll have your mind running in circles. Evelyn is all I can think about. It’s infuriating in the best way.”
I wanted that. I wanted to find the woman who drove me up the wall and consumed my thoughts at all times. But try as I might, I couldn’t find her.
Derek got on his bike. “I’m going to talk to Ryder. You should go back inside and ask Gemma out.”
“I’m not going to ask her out,” I said sourly.
“Why not? She’s cute. She’s fun. And just your type, right?”
“My type?” I asked.
“Sure. Fit and sexy. She's got a good sense of humor. Why not?”
“Leave it alone, Derek.”
Derek rolled his shoulders as he started the hog. He slowly pulled out of his parking space. “If you’re not going to date someone, at least find a girl who’ll fuck you, mate. You’re tense as shit. You need to get laid.”
I gave him the finger, and he drove off, cackling like a madman.
I got on my bike and followed suit. Minus the cackling. I was in no mood for laughter. I wasn’t even in the mood for music. I drove home in silence, the wind in my hair, mulling over what he’d said.
I was pining over my ex, who I hadn’t even really cared for all that much. I’d just enjoyed the closeness and having someone there. She wasn’t who I missed. I only missed that routine and the comfort of her soft body.
Maybe Derek was right. Maybe I just needed to find someone who would be down for a good, hard fuck, and then I could move on and shake off some of this angst. That seemed to work for Derek in the past before he found Evelyn. Why not me?
I parked my bike in my designated space on the outside of my apartment complex and walked across the courtyard to the south building. After buzzing myself in, I rode the elevator up to the tenth floor and let myself into my apartment.
Cool air greeted me. I threw my gym bag on the kitchen counter to deal with later and headed straight down the hall to my shower. I stripped out of my sweaty clothes and got under the hot water.
I put my back to it, letting the water bounce off my shoulders. As I stood there, the steam filled up the stall and cleared my head. The clarity brought memories of Lauryn dancing on her platform that weekend. I thought of her long hair flowing down her back and the way that black suit had shown off all her curves.
My cock was stiff in seconds.
I craved a release. Maybe it would take some of the weight off that I was carrying around on my shoulders. I gripped my shaft and worked myself over. I thought of her the whole time. Her legs and the way the muscles in her thighs flexed when she rocked back and forth. I thought of having her ride me the way she rode that platform some nights.
I pictured her on top of me, bouncing, tits squished in her own hands, screaming my name at my ceiling as I brought her to her climax.
I grit my teeth as hot lashes of my own come shot up my stomach. The relief it brought lasted only a couple of minutes, which confirmed one thing. I desired companionship, not a quick fuck.
“Fuck me,” I growled as I opened the shower door and reached for my towel.
Chapter 10
Lauryn
It was Wednesday, and I was exhausted. I hadn’t had a chance to catch up on my sleep since work that weekend, so around eleven o’clock, I’d gone into the bedroom to lie down under the condition that I would only shut my eyes for forty-five minutes.
I slept through the alarm I’d set and didn’t wake up until shortly before I had to pick Jayden up from school. I sat up and rubbed my eyes to peer blurrily at the time on my phone.
“Shit,” I mumbled before I stumbled across the room to my dresser. I grabbed the first pair of pants I laid hands on, which was a pair of leggings with the hole in the inside of the thigh. I pulled them on and left the white T-shirt on that I’d slept in. It was a little dingy and a little beige under the armpits, but it didn’t matter. I wouldn’t get out of the truck. I’d spare the poor parents and children of my son’s school the sight of me on a bad afternoon.
I did, however, take a moment to brush out my tangled curls and tied them up in a bun. I slapped on some Chapstick and lip gloss and a quick layer of mascara. Looking a little more fresh-faced and bright-eyed, I went out into the kitchen to grab myself a bottle of water.
Cliff was sitting at the table on his phone.
“Hey,” I said, opening up the fridge. “Did you have a good sleep?”
Cliff had been in bed when I came to lie down for a nap. He hadn’t stirred when I slowly rolled into bed and stole some of the covers. He’d always been a heavy sleeper. I envied him for that.
“Yeah. Not bad.” Cliff didn’t look up from his phone. He kept scrolling through whatever app he was on and sipped from his bottle of beer. It wasn’t even two in the afternoon, and he’d already started in on the booze.
I sighed and closed the fridge.
That made him look up. “What? You in a foul mood already?”
I unscrewed the cap of my water bottle. “I didn’t say anything.”
“Nah. You didn’t need to, did you? You just did that little sigh. I know you. I know what that means.”
“It didn’t mean anything,” I said, trying to change the subject. I wasn’t in the mood to argue. Not today. I had to leave soon to go pick Jayden up, and I didn’t want Cliff to be a grumpy asshole when we came back. “I’m sorry, Cliff. I think I’m still just tired. It’s been a long week.”
He shifted in his seat and muttered something under his breath. I was sure he’d said something offensive about me, but I left it alone. It wasn’t worth it.
I drank some of the water and felt more refreshed. “I have to head out to pick up Jayden. I won’t be gone long.”
Cliff’s eyes rose to meet me over the top of his phone. “You’re going now?”
I looked at the clock. “It’s two. I’m going at the same time I go every day.”
“Don’t be smart with me.”
I put the cap back on my water bottle. “I’m not being smart. You’re trying to pick a fight, and I’m not falling for it. I have to pick up Jayden. He’ll be outside waiting for me in ten minutes. Then, if you want to yell at me when I get back, by all means, have at it. You can sit here and plan everything you want to say while I’m gone, all right?”
Cliff put his phone down. That wasn’t a good sign. “How do you plan on getting to the school?”
I wanted to retort with “the same way I always do, you dumb fuck,” but instead, I said, “I’m taking the truck.”
“Like hell you are.”
I stared stupidly at him. “I’m sorry?”
“I’m sick of you driving my truck around and never putting gas in it. Find another way to pick up your kid.”
“I don’t have another way to pick him up. If you didn’t want me taking the truck, you should have said something earlier and I would have taken the bus to go get him. Let me take it this one time, and then I won’t from now on, okay?”
“No. You have two good legs. You can walk your ass down to the bus stop and meet
him at school.”
“Cliff, I—”
“I thought you weren’t in the mood to argue?” He growled.
I bit the inside of my cheek and rationalized if I wanted to keep pushing this or if it was worth it. I could just leave now and walk to the bus. If I did, I’d only be ten or so minutes late to pick up Jayden. If I stayed and fought with Cliff, I’d for sure be at least thirty minutes late, even if he did cave in the end and let me have the truck.
I decided to stand my ground. “I’m not trying to argue, Cliff. But this punishes Jayden, not me. If you let me pick him up, I’ll fill up your tank on my way home. No problem.”
“Woman, do you not know what ‘no’ means?”
“Stop calling me woman.”
“I’ll call you whatever I damn well please,” Cliff said. And then he got to his feet.
I took an uneasy step back. I had no clue why he was so easily provoked today, but things felt a lot more dangerous than usual. I wondered if this time, it wouldn’t just end with an argument. There was something in his eyes, something dark and mean that I hadn’t seen in a long time. Something I’d tricked myself into thinking was dead.
“Cliff,” I said slowly, holding up my hands, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“You don’t have any respect for me, do you?”
What did he want from me? Did he want me to lie and tell him I respected him? Did he want me to put on a good show and be the dutiful girlfriend we both knew I wasn’t? Or did he want me to be honest? Was he looking to have a full-blown war, right here, right now?
Because deep down, I’d been itching for this for months.
I’d hated him for months.
“No, I don’t,” I said. I stood up straighter and let him come closer. “I lost respect for you a long time ago.”
Cliff snorted. “Big words coming from such a little girl.”
“Just give me your damn truck keys, Cliff. I don’t want to do this right now.”
“I don’t give a fuck what you want, Lauryn. I’m the man of this house, and I want to do this. So sit your ass down at that table so we can talk this through and set some new ground rules for you.”
“No,” I spat.
Then, he grabbed my wrist and hauled me over to the table. He threw me down in one of the chairs and took the one beside it. He straddled it the same way Caleb had sat the other night in Kadia. I had a flashback to that warm, kind smile he’d given me and the other girls. It was such a stark contrast to the menacing grin Cliff was giving me now. Where Caleb had warmed my heart, Cliff was filling it with ice.
“I don’t want any more fucking lip from you, you got it?” Cliff said, holding a menacing finger in front of my face.
“Do I get to make any special requests too? Because I don’t want any of your bullshit either. All you do is sleep all day and get drunk at night. You’re a waste of fucking space in this apartment. Why don’t you just leave?”
Cliff grabbed my chin. “Because, sugar, this is my home. You’re my woman. And you ain’t got nobody else but me.”
I stared into his eyes. They were dark and hooded by thick brows. He was looking at me in a way he never had before. Like he hated me. I swallowed, and he jerked my chin to the side.
“You got something you want to say now, Lauryn, baby?”
I tried to pull my chin out of his hand, but he held me fast. “No,” I whimpered. I hated myself for caving. I didn’t want to fold. I wanted to be strong and hold my ground and scream at him for hours and hours over all the things I hated him for.
I hated him for treating me like shit. I hated him for scaring me and being a bad role model for Jayden. I hated his mean attitude, his condescending words, his violent drunk streak, his willingness to hurt me, his cruel smile—how he got off on scaring me.
But mostly, I hated myself for letting him get this close.
“That’s what I thought, baby. Now. You’d better catch that bus. That kid of yours isn’t going to walk himself home.”
He let me go, and I retreated back to press myself against the back of the chair. I watched him nervously as he picked up his phone again and looked back down at the screen. I thought this was a trick. Surely, he wasn’t through with me yet. In the past, these spats had lasted a lot longer, and sometimes, they’d gotten violent.
I was waiting for the other shoe to drop when I stood up. Nothing happened, so I turned to hurry down the hallway.
“Oh, and baby?” he called after me.
I froze and didn’t turn around. I could hear him moving behind me as he came to stand in the entrance to the hallway.
“Don’t you ever talk back to me again. I mean it. That pretty mouth is made for only a few things, and I’ll leave it to you to figure out.”
I rubbed my lips together.
This mouth? This mouth was made for more than saying “yes” to a man I hated. It was made for screaming to the world that I was better than this—that I deserved more. It was made for telling men like Cliff that he did not own me.
I turned around. My hands were balled into fists at my sides. Cliff was standing at the end of the hall with his arms folded over his chest. He was smirking at me. He knew what he’d said would boil my blood, and that’s why he’d said it.
If he wanted a fight, so be it. I could handle pain. I’d given birth. I’d danced in front of men half naked for ten years. I’d broken ribs, dislocated my shoulder, and broken my nose when I fell onstage. I could handle this asshole.
I met his stare. “Why don’t you shove your own dick up your ass, you worthless, good for nothing, piece of shit? I fucking hate you! And you don’t own me. You never will. You’re nothing! All you own is your broken ego, and I feel sorry for you. You’re a weak man, Cliff. The weakest man I’ve ever met. You get off picking on someone who can’t physically beat you. You can hit me if you want, but you’ll never beat the strength out of me. I’ve already won.”
I’d said all the right things to make him explode.
I braced myself for the aftermath.
Chapter 11
Caleb
I glanced at my watch and frowned. It was nearly nine thirty. All of our dancers were in the back room getting ready to hit the stage—all except Lauryn. She hadn’t shown up yet, and she was usually very punctual.
Maybe she didn’t need to come so early because I’d told her not to use Zandra anymore.
I shook that thought away. Lauryn liked working here. I knew that for a fact. And all the girls had said on numerous occasions that the best part of every night was hanging out in the back and getting ready to go onstage. Women and makeup. I would never understand it.
Samuel was behind the bar, as per usual, sorting through his glassware and stacking his short and tall glasses. I wandered over and took a seat on one of the barstools, resting my forearms on the bar.
Samuel watched me skeptically for a minute before asking, “What’s bothering you, boss?”
I had no clue why everyone in this damn place called me “boss.” I wasn’t the boss—not by any stretch. I was just the guy who made sure everyone made it through the night safely. I shrugged. “Just a little concerned. Lauryn’s late for her shift. And that girl is never late.”
Samuel frowned. “She transits to and from. Maybe her bus got held up or something?”
That was a perfectly reasonable explanation, but for some reason, it didn’t ring true. “Maybe.”
“Dude. Don’t stress about it too much. Shit happens. Lauryn’s a straight shooter. She’ll be here.”
I gave him a half-hearted smile and slid off the stool to do my last round of the place before we opened the doors. We had about half an hour left. If Lauryn wasn’t here in fifteen minutes, I’d start trying to track her down. This city was a big place, and bad things happened to good people all the time.
I tried to keep myself distracted by talking to all the staff. I greeted the girls who worked at coat check and chatted them up for a few minutes before moving on to check
in with my security team. I assigned them their stations for the night, placing Jack at the front door, and reminded them of all the things to look for even though I’d already drilled it into their brains. After, I paced across the dance floor and went to the back room.
Sadie, Milly, and Cassidy were all there. I knocked before going in, and they called for me that it was safe to enter. I pushed through the doors to find them dressed to the nines in their skimpy outfits. Their hair was done, and their makeup was dark and sensual.
Sadie cocked her head to the side. “What’s up, Caleb? Come to make sure none of us are on the good stuff?”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “No. I was coming to see if any of you had heard from Lauryn tonight.”
The three girls exchanged a look. Milly piped up first. “She’ll be here.”
“So you have heard from her?” I asked.
Milly bit her bottom lip and clasped her hands in front of herself. “She gave me a heads up that she was running a little late, but she’ll be here. She said her makeup is already on.”
I clenched my teeth. I didn’t like it. There was something Milly wasn’t telling me. “Did she say why she was so late?”
Milly shook her head without looking me in the eye. She was lying to my face.
I decided pushing her wasn’t the solution, so I let it go. I raked my fingers through my hair and looked around at all three of them. I checked the way they were standing, the look in their eyes, the movement of their lips.
“We’re not high, Caleb,” Cassidy said flatly.
“I’m just doing my job.”
Cassidy rolled her eyes at me before stepping forward and gliding past me. She smelled like she had layers of rose-scented perfume on. Perhaps it was the half a can of hairspray she must have used to get each and every curl to stay in place on her head. When she passed by, she dragged her fingers down my arm from shoulder to wrist. Her nails were long and painted bright yellow. She paused and licked her bottom lip. “You know, you’re too serious all the time. You should loosen up, baby.”
