Surreptitious (London)

by Breeze, Danielle

  We were panting, sweaty and drained but it was beautiful, it was intense, it was perfect, it was my real.

  OH SHIT!!

  Jackson

  What the fuck?! I was lying there thinking that, that was off-the-charts...out-of-this-world...seriously fucking hot, when I felt Taylor tense underneath me so I rested my weight on my elbows, with my forearms either side of her head. I was about to ask if she was ok when she burst out crying. Not sniffles, not sobbing...this was full-on wailing.

  I slid out of her and had to bite back another groan at the feel of it...like a silk glove. Damn. I rolled off her, pulled her into my arms and held her tight. She didn’t fight me; she came willingly, which I took as a good sign and buried my face in her hair before murmuring...

  “Help me out here baby girl. Did I hurt you? Is that why you’re upset? Did you not enjoy it? I don’t...I don’t understand why you’re crying.”

  She wrapped her arms around me but didn’t answer for a long time. Well it might not have been that long, but it fucking felt like it. Eventually, she pulled in a few broken breaths and replied shakily.

  “I’m so s-sorry. It was so good, too good, best thing I’ve ever felt...I came from your first thrust for crying out loud!” she paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “It’s just...it really was perfect ya know? And I was nervous, so damn nervous about it. M-my f-first time, it was horrible. Awful actually, and when I was just thinking about it afterwards, I realised that even though most people’s first time isn’t great, maybe it’s not even good, but I wish...well...I wish I’d have waited for you.”

  I breathed out a sigh of relief and fought a chuckle. How could she possibly have these thoughts straight after THAT!!

  “Oh baby girl, don’t think that shit!! It’s done. It’s all about me and you now. You caught fire just now and it was fucking hot. Now I’m lying here holding you close to me, which I’m damn well not complaining about by the way...but I’m soaked, fucking drenched… jeez you cried a fucking river babe!!” She giggled softly and my heart relaxed so I said...”We’re fucking made for each other baby girl. You and me, it just...fits ya know? I’m not happy about the shit you’ve been through, not at all, but...maybe if circumstances hadn’t happened the way they did for you, and if the fucked up shit that happened to me had have worked out differently...we never would have met, and even if we did, we’d be different people babe and maybe we wouldn’t fit so well.”

  I knew I’d made a mistake when her look turned openly curious about my statement. I braced for her questions wondering how the fuck I could get out of them.

  Taylor

  I couldn’t help it. He’d said ‘if the fucked up shit that happened to me had have worked out differently’...he’d opened up a little, but I knew there was more and I wanted to hear it. It was important to me that we were equals, but right now, I’d given him all of me and he’d given me...well...not a lot of him.

  He was fun, he was gorgeous, he lived life in the fast lane and taught me how to ride along with him...but he had secrets...and it was those secrets that were bothering me.

  “What happened to you Jax? I know you started your story the other day...but...well...it’s still not all of it...is it?”Instead of answering me, he threw a leg over me, shifted himself over me, and kissed me. Slowly. So slowly, my body was body melting beneath him.

  His fingers roamed my skin and I ignited under his touch. My mind went blank, I forgot about my question and let him distract me with heaven.

  Chapter twenty-two

  Taylor

  “Please please please Jax!!” I held my hands together in front of me and pouted like a little girl and I knew I’d won when he sighed and Mase laughed at him.

  Sucker!!

  We were at an old theme park, just outside of London and I was being a girl. A real little, bratty girl! Since Ruben had suggested the idea, Mase had phoned Jax and between them they decided that they didn’t give a shit if they had jobs to be doing. They were going the same day. Jax woke me up, told me what we doing…and commence screaming match about ‘stupid alpha-macho fuckers always telling me what to do when I’m supposed to be going to university and keep missing classes’ along with ‘girls who need to learn to pick their battles and not argue about every fucking thing when their boyfriend just wants to take them somewhere fun.’

  So clearly, he won. We went to the theme park.

  I freaking loved it! We were acting like kids...well...me and Mase were. Jackson kept rolling his eyes at us, but he had a smile on his face and Ruben...well he’s just Ruben, quiet and unassuming, hence why it shocked me so much that it was his idea to go. Odd?

  At that point, we had been going on rides and walking around for about an hour when I spotted an old ride that made my heart jump. The freaking tea-cups!! The ‘tea-cups’ was a ride that I adored as a little girl. My mum never took me to an actual theme park, but every time the fair came into town, she’d take me there. They had this old, battered version of the tea-cups and it used to break down all the time but my mum would stand and wait with my until they got it working again so I could ride. Every time!

  It was not a ride for thrill seekers. Nope. It was a kid’s ride, a giant version of a tea-set. Huge teapot in the centre turning on an axis, surrounded by smaller ‘teacups’ that you could sit in and they spun round separately. Magic!

  I wanted to ride, Mase and Ruben point blank refused to get on it with me, so I begged Jax to come with me, just so I could have one go on them!

  ...Jax!! Alpha-macho male...on the tea-cups!!!

  “I swear, you owe me big time for this baby girl!!” He hesitated at the entrance turned back and warned Mase...”I swear to god, no fucking photos!! If I see your phone out at all, you’re fired!” he swung his eyes to Ruben and said “You can wipe that grin off your face as well!! The same goes for you too!!”

  I grabbed his hand and ran towards the pink tea-cup with the flowers on the side, ya know, just because I thought I’d push my luck even more! I’ve got to admit, he looked absolutely ridiculous wedged into a tea-cup. His broad shoulders took up like half the room and he had a scowl on his face the entire time which made me giggle more! When the ride started, I held my hands in the air and whooped and he smiled and shook his head at me before switching back to his scowl.

  When I caught sight of Mase standing at the edge, I tried to subtly signal to him to ignore Jax’s warning and get a photo. I couldn’t tell if he got the message or not, but I tugged on Jax’s hand as we were still spinning, placed it around my shoulders and snuggled into his side. Sad I know, but it really was my favourite place in the world.

  As the ride slowed, Jax stood up before it stopped completely and earned a glare from the ride operator but he studiously ignored him and jumped over the side. He reached in and held my hips before lifting me; I planted my arms on his shoulders and grinned down at him as he hefted me over the edge. He stormed at pace through all the kids getting off and as soon as we were back on the path he stopped me and tugged on my hair gently so I tilted my head to look up at him.

  “I love you baby girl, but that ain’t ever happening again!” He promised but I replied softly...

  “It reminds me of my mum. She used to take me to the fair all the time as a kid and it just made me think of that…I’m so happy you could give me that. So…” I stood on my tip-toes and pressed my mouth to his in a chaste kiss and finished on a breath...”Thank you.”

  His eyes softened and he whispered, “I’ve changed my mind, I’d go on that god damn ride everyday if I get a reaction like that. I love seeing you so happy babe.”

  It was officially my new...BEST...DAY...EVER!!

  Later the same day, when we were all back at Jackson’s house for dinner, I was lounging on one of the sofa’s when I heard a quite...“Psstttt” from behind me.

  I leant up on an elbow and peered over the back of the sofa to see Mase was hiding behind the wall leading into the hallway waving his hand at me to get me
attention. Since Jax was engrossed in the TV and not paying a lick of attention. I rolled to my feet, snuck over to Mase and whispered...

  “What?!”...

  He walked back towards his bedroom and waved for me to follow him, so I frowned, and did as he requested. He shut the door behind me and spoke quietly saying...

  “I thought you might want to see the photos from today, got some really good ones. I didn’t want Jax to see them though because there’s a great one of the both of you by the that shit kids ride you went on…but wouldn’t wanna risk him firing me!!” I knew he was joking, Jax would never fire either of his brothers, so I giggled and slugged him in the shoulder.

  He started clicking through the photos when I saw one that made my heart skip. I asked him to stop and leaned forward to study it. I knew it must have been the photo he was talking about because it was beautiful, it looked almost staged, it was that perfect.

  Mase had managed to snap a photograph right at the point at which Jax lifted me into the air out of the tea-cup. I had my hands on his shoulders while I was grinning down at him and he was gazing up at me with love in his eyes. We were right in the centre of the frame and Mase must have zoomed in because you couldn’t see anyone else in the photo.

  It was just too perfect. I asked Mase to print it for me so I could get it framed, thanked him and jumped up and down on the balls of my feet…to which Mase informed me I was a ‘serious goof-ball” so I stuck my tongue out at him, then kissed him on the cheek and walked back to the lounge to get Jax.

  I’ve never known anyone get turned on by a simple of photo of themselves. But I did!! It hit me just how much I loved him and made me want him…fast!! However, when I reached the lounge, Jax had fallen asleep on the sofa!! I scowled at his sleeping form…How could he!!

  But I was not going to wait!! I wanted him, I crept over, climbed on the sofa with him and straddled his hips. He didn’t even flinch…out for the count!! I leaned down to his ear and whispered his name…nothing. Hmm…

  I was getting desperate! I ground my groin against his, and he might have been asleep, but I still felt him harden beneath me. He shifted and murmured my name and all I could think was…

  Oh my god!! He’s hard…and he’s dreaming about me!!

  I needed him to wake up, but it was like trying to wake the dead!! I was still whispering, so I spoke-up slightly and said, “Jax…” I drew out his name in a sing-song voice and continued, “You need to get down to business babe!!” I could have sworn his body seemed more alert, but he still didn’t open his eyes so I circled my hips again and felt his dick twitch in react.

  I was soaked, I was panting…and HE WASN’T EVEN AWAKE!! I growled in frustration and was about to give up when my body was twisted and I somehow ended up lying flat on my back with my legs bent at the knee and spread…wide!!

  Jax was lying on top of me and he had a huge grin on his face looking down at me. I had just managed to breathe again when he spoke.

  “Feelin’ horny baby girl?...” he raised his eye brows and broke out his cocky smirk and whispered… “all you had to do was ask nicely!”

  “You…you weren’t asleep?!” It was phrased as a question, but it was actually an accusation, even though I knew the answer!

  “No babe, I just wanted to see how far you’d take things when you thought I was!!” He shook his head and tutted at me saying… “Molesting a sleeping man? That’s just awful babe!!”

  I turned my head and grumbled ‘sly bastard’ under my breath before he ran his hand along my neck and up to cup my jaw. He turned my to face him again and lower his mouth to mine. Ruben had gone straight out after the theme park, but Mase was still in his room so I broke the kiss and whispered, “Not here Jax, Mase is in the other room!!”

  He raised his head and edged his body up slightly before shouting, “Mase?”…I waited a few beats before I heard just a… “Yeah?” come from the other room. Before Jax could speak again, Mase appeared in the doorway and smirked at our position.

  “You got things to be doin’?” Jax asked him pointedly.

  He rolled his eyes but replied, “Yeesh, I don’t need to see that shit! Yeah, yeah…I’ll leave.” He turned, grabbed his shoes and coat from the closet and left without another word.

  “Jax!! You can’t just ask him to leave his home!!!!! We could have just gone in the bedroom!!” I exclaimed.

  “You’re right, we could have…I just didn’t want to!! He didn’t care anyway! If I wanna make love to you here, then I’m gonna make love to you here!”

  “It’s his house too!!” I snapped. He stared at me for a few seconds before burying his face in my neck and bursting out laughing.

  “I’m really not seeing what’s funny Jackson…” I warned. He raised his head and looked at me with dancing eyes.

  “Baby girl, not five minutes ago, you were grinding yourself on my dick, panting and whispering in my ear ‘cause you needed me. You were fuckin’ primed, I could’a buried myself deep inside you then and there you were so ready...Now you’re scowling and snapping at me ‘cause I hinted to Mase that he needed to leave the house so we could get down to it?!” He laughed and then explained.

  “It’s funny…it would be funnier if my dick weren’t aching, fuckin’ worked me up good, then stop before I got inside you…not good babe! But it’s funny anyway because you’re you. Flip that switch in a second, it’s good that you’re not predictable. Been together a while now, and you still surprise me. I love you, beautiful.” And then he added… “Though, in future, if you could keep it to times when I’m not hard and dying to be inside you…I’d appreciate it!”

  “Errr, Jax…that’d be kinda’ difficult considering you’re always hard around me…” I pointed out and he murmured, “Shit, that’s true.” But I was bored of talking so I kissed him. Hard.

  Needless to say, we made love right there, then once in the kitchen when were supposed to be doing the washing up…though I prefer the former activity to doing the dishes!! Then twice more in bed before we slept.

  Yeah, without a doubt my new…BEST…DAY…EVER!!

  Chapter twenty-three

  Taylor

  We were lying in my Jackson’s bed after another night of him demonstrating just how much stamina he had. We had sex against his bedroom door as soon as he got back from work. We had sex in the shower twenty minutes after. We had sex when we got into bed and then he spoilt me by getting me off with his fingers and his mouth before I declared that I just couldn’t physically take anymore! I was spent!

  I’d been thinking a lot over the previous week about the conversation we had when we were first together and I couldn’t help but feel frustrated by the fact that I could be deliriously happy, just the one thing left to deal with. I didn’t know how, I just knew he needed to tell me!! Sometimes you just needed to be serious, and I was beginning to think that Jax didn’t know the meaning of the damn word.

  I had a feeling that it was time to address the issue, face it head on and just try and be there for him either way. It didn’t exact go as planned, but shit…never would have expected what he said. I lay next to him for a few minutes in silence, then just blurted...

  “Jax, baby...you need to tell me what you’re hiding. We’ve had such a great time lately, but anytime we’re getting into a serious discussion, you just shut down on me and I hate it. Or you distract me with sex! Which okay, I obviously don’t hate! But please tell me what’s wrong.” His body turned to stone against mine and as usual when I brought anything like that up, the temperature of the room plummeted instantly.

  Something was different then though. He hesitated. Normally he’d just shut me down and either walk away or distract me with sex. Don’t get me wrong, he usually chose to distract me with sex and obviously I did not mind that, but the longer we were together, the more it was eating at me.

  He took a huge breath, held it for a few beats and let it out shakily before stating...

  “It was me.” He said…and then stopp
ed. Um?What?...

  “Err…Sorry babe you’ve lost me...what was you?” I asked

  “The house fire. Tracy and Dave, precious old mum and dad. I started it, I killed them, I wanted to kill them, I fucking planned to kill them” Holy shit. Oh fuck. Oh shit shit...SHIT. It was worse than I thought!! I was in bed with a fucking murderer?!

  I lay there with my arm resting across his torso, although I couldn’t say I was actually resting being as I felt like my entire world was crashing down around me. How could I possibly be in love with a fucking murderer? My whole body ached I was wound up that tight but his arm squeezed me tighter so I couldn’t move away from him. My mind was just blank; my only thought being, literally...

  OH SHIT.

  I wriggled my arms and tried to push away from him, I needed air, I needed a shot of tequila, I need a smoke (even though I’d never touched the fucking things), I needed Harp and Jase, or just fucking one of them would do. Shit I didn’t know what I fucking needed but I definitely needed to get away from Jax...and fast. He squeezed me even tighter so I couldn’t move at all and leant down to whisper in my ear

  “Babe, fuck...just give me like 5 minutes ok, you gotta hear me out.” I stilled, so he continued in a stronger, more determined voice.

  “These were not good people babe, these were not even fucking bad people, they were downright the motherfucking scum of the earth. Drugs babe, serious shit, not light stuff, heavy as fucking anything, I’m talking Class A shit babe, they sold it, smoked it, snorted it, fucking injected it and not just for themselves babe, serious as fuck, they did that shit TO MY FUCKING BROTHERS. Think about this, you get Mase now, funny as fuck, polite, definite good guy and man, that kid is far too good looking for his own good yet he don’t use it to get himself any. Fuck, I ain’t got nothin’ on that kid, swear to god if there was ever gonna be anyone who ran the entire world, you know it as well as I do, that kid would be first in the running. Ruben is obviously younger, but he’s clever as fuck, ain’t never seen anything like it, kids got brains and they sure as shit didn’t come from those whacked out fuckers that made us. He’s got ‘em ‘cause he works damn hard and I fucking taught him that.” I really didn’t see what any of this had to do with the fact that he was a god damned murderer but he continued anyway.