Taking a deep breath, I try my best to ignore the images flickering on the big screen. I swivel my chair to face Jared. He has his left arm propped up on his left leg, his sisters’ bracelet still dangling from his fingertips.
“What’s your sister’s name?” I ask.
“Sofi,” he says, his voice hollow.
“How old is she?”
Bloody tears cloud Jared’s eyes, but they don’t fall. His sorrow is heavy on his face.
“We were turned together eighty years ago,” he says with the same hollowness he had when he spoke his sister’s name. I notice that Jared is now wearing a shirt that had been on Coy’s rack of new clothes. I guess he did need some new clothes after helping me carry Ethan’s bloody body back to the inn.
“When was she taken?”
Jared turns in his seat, placing both legs on the floor as he rests his elbow on his knees, the bracelet clutched in his left hand. “A few months ago, she was in Indonesia running some errands for Aldrick.” He says Aldrick’s name with cold disgust. “He didn’t even tell me she was missing until a week ago. It’s amazing how little he cares for the people he’s supposed to be protecting.”
“Is he the one who turned you?” When a human is turned, they feel a sort of loyalty and care for the Vampire that turned them. It would be hard living a life where you felt obligated to someone who could care less about you.
Jared jerks his head up. “No,” he says harshly. He then turns away, stretching out on the couch so his back is to me. Obviously that’s my cue that the conversation is over.
I swivel back toward the television. Coy is still switching from channel to channel. I could rip the TV off the wall, that would be one way to fix things. Instead, I dig through my bag and find the picture of me and Addie. I focus on the picture and think about happy times.
I start thinking about the day before I left. Addie and I were sitting outside of our house in Virginia, laughing about a woman who had just walked by. She was human and had just tried visiting our neighbor, Old Lady Blake. Old Lady Blake is a Witch of course, and a weird one at that.
The terrified human lady, who was a sales woman, was running as fast as she could down the block away from Old Lady Blake’s house. Addie and I started making jokes about what Old Lady Blake had said to the woman to cause her to run like that.
“Who’s that?”
Coy scares the bejesus out of me and I drop the picture. “Will you quit doing that?” I say as I reach over to pick the picture up.
“What?”
I don’t look back, but I know he has a smile on his face.
“You know what.”
He chuckles. “Sorry. So who’s that?”
“Addie.”
“You two look happy there.” He’s now standing up and leaning over my chair.
“We were. It’s one of the few times I can recall us having a good time.”
He’s quiet as he stands over me. I start hoping he’ll sit back down, content with the small talk. Apparently all the wishing and hoping in world isn’t in my favor.
Coy walks around my chair, squatting down in front of me. He leans forward, trying to make eye contact. I keep my eyes averted and focus on the picture.
“Why do you do this?”
“What?” My voice is soft and raspy as I answer him.
“Block people out.” Coy’s trying to look up at me, tilting his head so it’s directly in my line of sight. I’m no longer able to focus on the picture.
“I don’t.”
“Yes you do, Racquel. You try to keep your distance from people. You won’t let anyone get close to you. I’ve seen you arguing with Danika when she’s only trying to help. Now you’re trying to push me away. Why?”
“Because.” I can feel my throat closing up as my eyes start to tear. I think about all those times as a child when I wanted friends and someone to care for me. All they ever did was make fun of me and say hurtful things.
“That’s not a good enough answer, Racquel.” Coy places his hand on mine. “Will you look at me?”
I want to, but I know if I do, he will see the tears in my eyes.
“You don’t understand, okay?”
He’s rubbing his hand softly over mine, trying to soothe me. “Make me understand.”
I shake my head in refusal. I don’t want him to feel more pity for me than he already does. Instead of leaving me alone, he runs his hands up my arms. Coming up to cup my face in his hands and forcing me to look at him. As soon as I look at him, his brown eyes full of warmth, tears start spilling over and running down my face. Jeez, when did I become such a blubber baby?
“I’m here for you, if you will just let me.”
I shut my eyes, feeling another tear slip through. “It’s just too painful.” I open my eyes and look at him. “I’ve wanted people to like me. When I was a kid, I tried being friends with other kids. But they would always turn me away. My whole life has been nothing but ridicule. I’ve just found it easier to block people out. Yeah, it’s lonely and it sucks, but it’s a hell of a lot better than the pain of rejection and ridicule.”
He runs his thumbs under my eyes, wiping away the traces of tears, staining his thumbs pink. His voice is soft as his eyes search mine. “Not everyone is like that, Racquel. We are all here because of you. I’m here.”
“You’re only saying this because of the other night.”
His brow furrows as he thinks back. “What do you mean?”
“When I bit you, you said you felt my sadness. You only kissed me because you felt sorry for me. You said it yourself. You want no part of this life. Well I’m a part of this life.” I throw my hands up for emphasis.
Coy runs his hands through my hair then brings them back, cupping my face once more. He leans in close to me. “I’ll admit, I don’t want to be in this world. But I do want you. That night in Paris was one of the best nights of my life. After that night I was so confused, I didn’t know what to think. Then the other night through the battle, seeing you help Danika, I couldn’t shake the unease I had of something happening to you. When you bit me and I felt all your pain and fear, it just brought me that much closer to you but it had nothing to do with why I kissed you. I kissed you because I wanted to.”
He pauses, running his thumbs over my cheeks, his eyes never leaving mine.
“I kissed you because there was nothing in the world I wanted more. Just like right now. There’s nothing I want more than to kiss you again.”
I freeze, stunned at what I’m hearing, and hoping with every part of my being that it’s true. Never have I let a stranger this close to me. Oh how much I want this, someone to see me, someone to know me, someone who cares.
Coy’s touch is an electrical shock to my skin, sending chills all over me. He runs his hand through my hair once more, finally placing his hand on the back of my neck and pulling me closer, bringing our lips closer.
“You’re so beautiful Racquel, and so amazing.” His lips brush mine softly as he speaks, sending a shock of pleasure and desire through me. “I promise you this. I will use every ounce of my energy to make sure you know that.”
He pulls me in for a kiss, lightly at first, then harder and more passionate. Just like that, all the shields I try keeping up, break. I still carry some doubt, but right now I’m focused on the joy. I’ll let the doubt weigh me down later.
Coy pulls away finally, and smiles. I blush, dunking my head so he can’t see.
“I love that.” He turns the corner of his mouth up in a sexy, teasing smile.
“What?”
“How I can make you so nervous and shy. It’s cute. Normally you’re stern, stiff, and in control. When you get shy like that.” He shakes his head smiling. “Totally cute and sexy.”
My blush deepens, I’m sure my face is glowing like Rudolph’s nose. Coy stands up, chuckling, but keeps my hand in his.
“Come on back here. You can tell me all about what’s going through that crazy head of yours.”
No matter how cute, fun, and caring Coy is, it would take a lot more than a kiss to get me to truly open up. I know I can discuss what’s going on with Cerelia. Maybe even what it felt like when I helped Danika heal Ethan.
But there is some stuff that I still can’t talk about, stuff that is for me and me only. Those memories and pains would only make him feel that much more sadness for me. His brother might have told him a few things about the night he found me, but there are plenty of other things that no one knows about.
“Okay.” I bend over and pick up my backpack, unzipping the front pocket. I go to put the photo inside but pause when I see a crumpled-up piece of paper in the bottom. I pull the crumpled paper out, seeing again the strange formulas and symbols that I had forgotten about.
“What’s that?” Coy’s leaning over me again, looking at the paper in my hand. I had forgotten all about it. I’d found the paper before ever finding out about Addie and leaving to find her. I had intended to look up some of the symbols and formulas scribbled all over the page. Once we left, the paper was forgotten. Looking at it now, I’m not even sure if it’s important. Should I just toss it aside and forget about it? Should I keep it and look into it later? It doesn’t seem all that important but there’s a part of me that feels it is.
“I don’t know. I found it at my house before leaving to find Addie.” I hand the paper over to him. “What do you think it means?”
Coy takes the paper, looking it over with an amusing, puzzled focus. His eyes are intent and focused on the paper. His mouth is set in a grim line as he rubs his fingers over his chin, trying to decipher the odd text.
I fight the urge to laugh but a small smile still plays on my lips. “So what do you think?”
“I don’t know. Some of these are familiar but it doesn’t make sense.” He walks back to his seat, still studying the piece of paper. I follow, grabbing my bag and zipping it up. I sit down beside him, leaning over so I can see the paper too.
Pointing to some of the symbols on the paper, Coy says, “These symbols right here are your basic chemical elements: hydrogen, oxygen, carbon, and nitrogen. These symbols over here are for acids, water, and carbohydrates. These formulas down here I’m not sure about.”
I look at him in amazement. “Where did you learn all that?”
“From books! Didn’t you learn basic chemistry elements in school?” Coy asks.
“I didn’t really pay attention in school. I dropped out my sophomore year,” I state simply. No pity crosses Coy’s expression, though I was worried it would. Good.
“How does that work? Is there a separate school for the Shadows, or did you go to school with the humans?” he asks.
“There are schools devoted to the Shadows, but we can go to human schools too. I went to a human school. We have all the same classes as the humans but there are some special classes devoted only to Shadow students.”
Coy’s brow furrow with disbelief. “Didn’t the humans notice?”
“Not really. The principal of the school was a Shadow, as was the counselor. They were in charge of making schedules, so there wasn’t any problem keeping humans out of the Shadow classes.” I remember a few humans who had thrown a fit because they wanted to take the advanced mythology classes but they had always been full.
“Did the humans not notice you guys were different?”
“I think they did, but they really didn’t know why. They especially stayed away from me.”
An understatement. Everyone stayed away from me, even the teachers. There had been a big argument over what to do with me. Finally they decided to stick me in a class by myself with a Witch as my teacher. I guess they thought she would be the most likely one to get away if I went crazy and started attacking everyone.
“What about you? Did you have some type of schooling?” I ask, wanting to change the subject from me.
“Not really. We were provided books at the lair but that was about it. We had a lot of time to read in-between bites. Lynna also taught us a few other things, but mostly how to read.”
I shake my head in disgust at how the Vampires treat their human donors, then glance back at the paper, curious now to know what the rest of the symbols mean, even if it’s not relevant to our current situation.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell Coy as I stand and walk to the back of the plane. Danika is nowhere in sight. I assume she’s in the back with Ethan. Not wanting to interrupt anything, I take her laptop that’s lying in her seat. I’m sure she won’t mind, especially if she knows it’s for research purposes.
Taking my seat, I open up the laptop and wait for it to boot up. “Let’s see what we can find on these formulas.” I stare at the computer, unsure of what to do next. I know the basics of how to work a computer, like hitting the power button, but that’s about it.
It’s not that I chose to be computer illiterate. I just never had a need for one before. Never really needing one to stay in contact with anyone or to do any major shopping like most, I never bought a computer. I look the screen over as it waits for my next move.
Not wanting to admit my ignorance to Coy, I click an icon. When a screen pops up that looks informative, I smile proudly. Coy busts up laughing and takes the computer from me. “I don’t think we are going to find much in the computer’s control panel.”
My smile falls and I roll my eyes as Coy accesses the Internet. “Ta-da,” he says, mocking me. He punches in the formulas in the search engine and waits for results. Several results pop up and Coy starts checking them, one by one.
“So how do you know so much about computers if you were only allowed to read?” I narrow my eyes at him in accusation.
“I had my ways,” he says mysteriously.
“Uh-huh,” I mutter and watch him look through the different links. I can feel my eyelids getting heavy just like they did in chemistry. Apparently my lack of interest in understanding science and the formulas that go along with it hasn’t changed.
Coy jolts me out of my sleepy haze, excited to have found something. “This one is for the bonding of atoms.” He pulls out a sheet of paper and a pen, writing down what he’s found.
He goes back to the search engine and enters the next formula. Not too long after his revelation of the atom bonding, he finds another one for carbon chains, another for ions, etc. All his findings start running together as my body relaxes more and more, and my eyes close. Soon his ramblings stop altogether, and I’m peacefully asleep. But not for long.
The blissful blackness I’m swimming in fades as a new scene appears. I’m back in Brazil surrounded by Vampires and Witches. I try to move but I can’t. I look down to find my legs and arms chained to a wooden post. Pain starts radiating through my body. I can feel where wounds are trying to heal but unable to do so.
“Let’s see how she handles this.”
I flinch as Ravyn approaches, her hand outstretched before her. A wicked smile plays across her red lips as her glacial blue eyes dance with evil. Pain tears through my body as my insides start to boil.
“Ravyn, do remember not to kill her.” I hear a man in the background giving his warning but I can’t see him. I can’t see anything. All I see is a blinding white light as my body boils from the inside out. I hear myself break out into a scream but it does no good.
“Oh alright,” Ravyn complains as the boiling, searing pain stops. Not completely but it’s nowhere near as bad as before. As the pain recedes, the memory comes back to me in a flash. This place, these people, and the torture I endured.
I don’t understand what I’m doing here. This has to be a dream. Another dream brought on by Cerelia, but why this one? If she wants me to remember that I don’t fit in, that I don’t belong in this world, she need not bother. I remember everyday on my own. I don’t need her push and influence to bring it all back.
Now that I realize what’s going on, maybe I can fight back. I close my eyes and concentrate. I try finding where she’s hiding in my mind. But sensing her darkness is harder than I
thought it would be.
I can sense my own darkness and anger, which makes finding hers difficult. I can feel the pain and hatred I have for everyone around me. The darkness that lingers in me for being what I am, the ever-present thought of revenge.
Finally, in the back of my mind, I find another type of darkness. A darkness that’s so full of hatred and pleasure, I know it’s not my own. I start trying to push against it, trying to force the evil out. I drag up as much of myself as I can to push against it. But there’s so much of my own darkness mingling with hers, that I start getting drawn in by the anger. I can feel Cerelia growing stronger.
Her malicious spirit is becoming so strong, so distinct and vivid, I can almost see her face. I continue to try and push but feel my will becoming weaker. I open my eyes and gasp for air, feeling as if I’m suffocating from all the pain and pressure.
Ravyn and the others vanish from sight. That’s when he steps in front of me, his face still cloaked.
“Remember, Racquel. Remember the pain and hatred they all made you feel. Don’t you want revenge? Don’t you want to make them all suffer the way they made you suffer? Embrace that darkness, Racquel. Embrace those feelings and join me. Together we can stop them.” He steps closer to me, placing his hand on my cheek. His hand feels like ice against my skin. “Or next time my dear the pain won’t stop until you’re dead.”
He vanishes from my view but I can still feel Cerelia there, still viciously dredging up more of my memories. Now standing in front of me are all my old school mates. They’re all laughing at me and throwing nasty comments my way. One guy even spits on me as he walks by. My rage flares, the humiliation and resentment building an unstoppable storm within me.
I grab hold of the boy and snap his neck. He falls to the ground, lifeless. I look up at the others and see their faces of disbelief. The rage continues to build up in me. All I can see is red, with blotches of mocking faces mixed in. I move to the next person, ready to take down everyone I can get my hands on.
Uniquely Unwelcome (The Shadow World, #1) Page 22
