In Search of Healing

by Katie Holmburg

  He pulled up in front of her apartment. “What is it then?”

  She touched his shoulder, causing him to finally meet her eyes. “I know that you have an iron control on your emotions. After whatever happened in the war, I have no doubt that it was necessary. Even before that, during your warrior training, I’m sure that you were taught to ruthlessly contain your emotions.

  This case has made me an emotional wreck. If you were me, I think that you’d be extremely uncomfortable with the emotional vulnerability that I’ve exhibited and want to cover it up right away.”

  He nodded, his expression intense and she cheered internally. She had been right about the source of his discomfort. “That’s where we’re different. I’m not happy with what a wreck I’ve been but I’m not ashamed either. Maybe it was growing up with an empath, but we had a very open emotional household growing up. My brothers and I couldn’t hide anything. While I don’t show my heart to the world, I guess I’m accustomed to showing those close to me how I really feel. Now if you go around telling everyone, we’ll have a problem. But I trust you to keep my confidences like I keep yours.”

  He gave her a puzzled look as if to say what else would he do.

  She smiled. “Go home, get some rest, and don’t worry about it. Some things can’t be explained, they just are. Our partnership works and we’ll just drive ourselves crazy trying to break it down as to why it works. And this case? Yeah, I wish that it hadn’t come up. But we’ll deal with it and finish it and move on. Tomorrow’s gonna come quick enough as it is.”

  Opening the door, she stepped out. Before she closed the door, she leaned in and said, “It’ll work out, Lir. I promise.”

  She closed the door and headed into the apartment, not bothering to look back. He would either accept it or he wouldn’t. Meanwhile, she needed to get some sleep so she could be in top form for their introduction to the group.

  * . * . *

  Lirim watched her enter her building before putting the car in drive and slowly pulling away. To say that his mind was reeling would be an understatement. What had prompted him to bring that up and why had she been so relaxed about the whole thing?

  Of course, his run-in earlier with her brothers probably hadn’t helped any. Her brothers were fiercely protective of her. They had drawn a clear line in the sand for him. According to them, if he even breathed wrong towards her, he’d better be watching over his shoulder at all times. Still, he would’ve been more worried if they hadn’t threatened him.

  What did trouble him was something else that they had said. While they didn’t know the truth of the investigation, they believed Aletta was thinking about going back to the opera. They warned him to keep a close eye on her. Apparently when Lena’s accident happened, Aletta had gotten very sick. They worried that reliving the trauma and returning to the opera world would trigger a recurrence. When he’d asked about the illness, the symptoms they described seemed to match more with magical awakening than with physical/emotional trauma.

  He made a mental note to run that by Awena during their next lesson. Aletta was right, he needed to get some rest. As she’d said, it was no use trying to pick apart every nuance of their partnership. It was enough that their partnership did work.

  Nine

  Aletta entered the building with her head high. After her unexpected talk with Lirim last night, she had thought long and hard about several things. In the end, she had firmly decided against rejoining the opera, something that she hadn’t realized she’d had mixed feelings on. That decision had been remarkably freeing for her. It didn’t matter what people thought of her in the end; once the case was finished she never had to see them again. She may have to playact for a little while, but there was an end in sight.

  Speaking of which, she’d better start that role now. That role called for her to be meek, disillusioned with what she had seen, longing for the beauty of the opera world that she had left behind. Keeping this in mind, she slowed her steps and rounded her shoulders a little. Lirim was right behind her. She knew he had caught the shift in her behavior when she heard a small hesitation in his steps. He asked quietly, “Aletta?”

  She turned and quickly winked at him before continuing towards the back of the theater, where she assumed the cast would be. The first person she saw was Lacroix, with Elizabetta standing right next to him, waiting for them in the foyer. The prima was preening and fluttering but Lacroix didn’t seem to be paying much attention, instead fully focused on the PDA in his hand. Aletta almost smirked, but managed to hide it at the last moment.

  She and Lirim walked over and waited patiently for Lacroix to notice them. Elizabetta scowled at Aletta before turning her attention to Lirim and fawning on him. Aletta made a mental note to help keep the man-eater away from him but that would have to wait until after they were introduced to the rest of the cast.

  After waiting for several minutes, Aletta delicately cleared her throat. It was almost comical the way Lacroix’s head jerked up before he focused on her. “Miss Sheridan, there you are. We’ve been waiting for you for half an hour.”

  She felt like saying that they’d been there the whole time, but bit back the words. “I apologize. Mr. Bosk and I did not anticipate the traffic. We will not make the same mistake again, sir.”

  He eyed her sharply, trying to judge whether she was being sincere or not. She kept her face noncommittal, her smile a bit on the vapid side. He shrugged it aside. “Well, now that you’re here, let’s not waste any more time quibbling about it. We need to get back to rehearsing. Follow me.”

  He led the way to the stage, where the cast was blocking a scene. Everyone paused what they were doing and gathered around him. Aletta was impressed with how well Lacroix had them trained. She made a note to run a low-key check with some of the cast to see if he used fear and threats to gain cooperation.

  Once everyone had gathered, Lacroix announced, “Some of you might already know Miss Sheridan.” There were a few nods.

  Lacroix continued. “This is Mr. Bosk. They have decided to join our production at Mr. DuPont’s request.” There were a few smirks at this, but no one spoke.

  “Mr. Bosk will be filling in as Paris’s understudy; Miss Sheridan will be one of Minerva’s handmaids. I trust that you will show them everything they need to know?”

  He didn’t wait for anyone to respond, seemingly assured of their cooperation. “Good. Then I will leave them in your capable hands. Now, if there are no problems, I have other duties that I need to see to. Good day.”

  As he turned and left, Lirim whispered to Aletta, “Understudy?”

  It was all she could do not to laugh. They hadn’t even started and their plan had already been turned on its head. Aletta was supposed to have kept them busy and Lirim should have had a minimal role, leaving him free to explore. Looks like they would have to play from the cuff with this one.

  She murmured back, “It means that if something happens and the main Paris is unable to perform due to a cold or injury, you will take his place on stage. Since Paris is one of the main characters, that means that you will be under extreme duress to get ready before opening night. That and intense scrutiny.”

  She marveled at how he was able to keep his face impassive. Lirim murmured, “And you?”

  “I’m a mere handmaid. My role around here will be more of a gopher than anything else. Brace yourself, we’re going to have to just go with it.”

  Before they could say anything else, the rest of the cast surrounded them. She was pleasantly surprised to see Ely among them. Leaving Lirim to the mercy of the rest of the cast, Aletta made her way over to Elyssa. She felt a little bad about abandoning him, but he had to learn how to deal with them on his own. She would apologize for it later. If he was still talking to her, that is.

  She murmured, “Ely, I’m pleased to see you. I didn’t know that you were part of this.”

  Elyssa sighed and folded her arms across her chest, but didn’t move away. “Aly, why did you come back? And no
runaround this time. Mr. DuPont might’ve made you an offer, but you wouldn’t settle for a mere handmaid role.”

  Aletta sighed as well, “He’s testing me. He is impressed with my potential but wants to see if I’ll be another diva like ‘Elizabetta’. That’s why he placed my partner as a main understudy, to see if I could handle a newbie being elevated above me while I’m stuck in obscurity.” She hated lying but kept her face impartial.

  Aletta knew that she had Ely when the woman asked, “And will you tolerate that?”

  Aletta sighed and spread her hands palm up, accenting it with a tiny shrug. “I made a mistake by leaving. I’ll have to work my way back up from scratch. Even worse, I’ll have to fight against everyone’s prejudice. Still, I’ll be willing to do whatever it takes, within limits of course. What about you, what role do you have?”

  Elyssa scowled briefly before smoothing her expression. “I’m Elizabetta’s understudy for the role of Venus. Usually, I’d say it was an honor, but…”

  Aletta giggled. “It’s Milly. And she seems to have given herself some airs.”

  Ely rolled her eyes. “Exactly. Well, come on. I’d better get you settled. It’ll be at least another half an hour before prima is ready, but she’ll really put me through my paces if I’m not there when she is.”

  Her conscious kicking in, Aletta asked, “What about Mr. Bosk? Today’s really his first day and I don’t want to leave him stranded.”

  Ely didn’t even bother glancing over at him. “Don’t worry, Alan will take care of him. He’s the lead, Paris. He’ll be able to keep your partner out of prima’s clutches. Now, follow me.”

  That was the last time that Aletta had a moment to think. She stayed busy the rest of the day, running errands and trying to memorize her part on the go. The good news was that because of her gopher status, she was allowed free access to all parts of the theater. This was a bonus because she knew what was normal and what was out of place. She hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary yet, but today she was just establishing a baseline, getting a feel for the cast and gauging the general atmosphere of the group.

  It was after nine when she and Lirim were finally able to leave. She climbed gratefully into the passenger seat, rubbing her aching neck with one hand while buckling in. Lirim asked, “Tough day?”

  She shrugged. “About normal. I’ve gotten soft working with HSI. Sometimes on performance nights, we wouldn’t be able to leave until after dawn. However, we would be able to sleep until at least mid-afternoon if that were the case. Instead we’ll just be working ridiculously long hours until the production is ready to go. How was your day?”

  “Not what I expected it to be. Weren’t you supposed to be the high profile one and I was supposed to be the drudge?”

  She laughed. “Yeah, that was a twist in our plans that I wasn’t expecting. It might work out better in the end though. I’m familiar with what’s normal for the theater, so I should be able to see if something’s out of place. So, thoughts about today?”

  He said thoughtfully, “I think we can cross Alan off of the suspect list. My gut tells me that he is on the up and up.”

  “Is that because he rescued you from Elizabetta?” Aletta batted her eyes at him, imitating her.

  Lirim shuddered. “No, although I am grateful for that. He spent most of the day with me, helping me get my feet under me. Several of the other cast members also came to him for help. One of the set builders had a daughter here; she was about six or so. When her doll lost a button, she brought it to him to fix and he did. Told me that he was a tailor’s son so he’d learned how to sew as a child.”

  “Well, that’s easy enough to verify. Anyone else seem suspicious to you? I was too busy running to do more than put names with faces.” She pulled down her hair from the high ponytail it was in and rubbed a temple wearily.

  He noted her gesture and asked. “Did you eat today?”

  “Yeah, this is just from having my hair up for too long, too tight. It’ll go away in a bit. Suspicious person?”

  He shook his head in disgust. “I’m still not convinced that Miss Snooty is innocent. She doesn’t seem to work at all. All she did was flit around and get in other people’s way. She never even opened her script.”

  Feeling her headache subsiding, Aletta gave a sigh of relief. “Not good enough; she has a photographic memory. She wouldn’t need to refer to her script. Anything else?”

  “I saw the spot where the light fell. It was a good three feet away from where she was standing according to all the eyewitnesses. Despite all her vocal outrage, she was never in any danger.” His tone was dry, communicating his feelings about the prima donna quite clearly.

  Aletta couldn’t keep the amusement from her voice. “She stalked you most of the day, didn’t she?”

  “I don’t want to speak about her any more. And why did you leave me to that crowd? That was quite cruel.” There was a tone of genuine hurt in his voice that surprised her.

  She said softly, “I’m sorry, that wasn’t my intention. When you were granted the leading role, it threw me a bit. I wasn’t sure how you would want to play it.”

  “Play it?”

  “There are three ways that we can play this. One, we ignore each other completely because I am jealous of you getting placed in a leading role.”

  His denial was instant. “No. Next?”

  “Two, we talk but only because we are partners who still have cases to wrap up. Other than that, our careers are totally separate.”

  He thought it over for a moment. “That one might work, but I’m not in favor. What’s the last one?”

  “I’m your mentor into the opera world. I will be spending time showing you the ropes and introducing you.”

  He glanced at her, puzzled, “What’s the catch with that one?”

  “I’m a little bit of an outcast in the opera world right now. This scenario has the potential to go either way. You could either be applauded for drawing me back into the fold or ostracized because of our relationship. It will have to be played very carefully in order to work. That’s why I kept my distance until we could talk about which way to do it.”

  “You walked away because I got the more prominent role? That doesn’t make any sense.”

  Aletta explained, “The opera world has a very strict hierarchy. If I had been granted a leading role, the rest of the cast would have no choice but to defer to me, no matter how much they might resent me. I could’ve introduced you as my protégé and they would’ve had to accept you, willing or not.

  Because I was cast as a handmaid, my status is unclear. I have been specially scouted but not placed in a significant position. So have I been brought back into the fold or was I merely a stepping stone to get to you? Until my place has been officially declared, people will be leery of me, but they will also push to see what they can get away with. It’s going to be interesting. On the other hand, I have free run of the entire theater and the experience to know what to look for, so it wasn’t a total misfortune.”

  He sighed. “This is getting too complicated too fast.”

  She chuckled, but the sound held no humor. “It takes a while to learn all of the ins and outs. Still, it’s not as complicated as the O’Reilly case and we managed that just fine. So, how do we play this one?”

  “Let’s go with number three, with the option to switch to number two if it starts to hinder the operation. And we’ll have to inform the rest of the team of our change in roles.”

  “We can do that in the morning when we check in before we head to the theater. Let’s grab a little sleep while we can; we have to be back there bright and early.” A yawn emphasized her exhaustion.

  He chuckled. “We’re almost to your place. Why are you letting me take lead on this?”

  “Well, I know the opera. However, this is a dangerous and potentially deadly situation. That’s your wheelhouse, not mine. I’d be stupid to think that this person has just given up and gone home. They’re probably getting more d
esperate by the day to find whatever it is that they’re after. So I’ll abide by whatever you think is safe to do. It might slow us down a bit but it’ll keep us alive at the end of the case.”

  This seemed to settle some of the unease he was feeling over their discussion about distance. He gave a small sigh of relief. “You really need to watch your step. I don’t know who is doing this, but I feel they’ll be growing more dangerous as their search continues. With us separated, I don’t know how long it’ll take me to reach you if there’s trouble.”

  She gave a small smirk at the concern in his tone. “I have a feeling that you’d be there moments after anything happened.”

  He frowned, “That still might be a moment too late. I’m serious, you need to be extra careful.”

  She chuckled and yawned, “Yes, I’ll be careful, worrywart. It’ll be all right.”

  She giggled again, the sound tired. “Sorry, I always get a little loopy when I’m this tired. I’m not laughing at you, promise. I just get the giggles when I get tired sometimes.”

  He glanced at her and clarified, “You get giggly when you’re tired?”

  She nodded, another giggle slipping out.

  He smirked. “Could be worse, I guess.”

  She stuck her tongue out at him and snuggled deeper into the passenger seat.

  He soothed, “Rest, we’ll be at your place in just a few minutes.”

  She mumbled, “Okay,” and closed her eyes, unable to keep them open any longer. True to his word, they reached her building just minutes later. He walked her up to her door, not trusting her not to fall asleep on the way up. Locking the door, she stumbled to her room. She was asleep before her head even hit the pillow.

  Ten

  Aletta groaned when she heard her alarm go off. Gently moving Pen off where she was snuggled in the crook of her legs, she groggily pushed herself up. Knowing that she would be tired, she had set the alarm before she’d left yesterday morning. Reaching out and roughly silencing the alarm clock, she sighed. Although she was glad she’d had the foresight to set the clock, all she wanted to do was lay down and go back to sleep.