The Depths of Sorrow

by Eleanor Eden

  “I want to call Journey.”

  Eve let out a high-pitched wail and we both jumped, then looked to each other with shock in our eyes.

  “The baby!” I said, already sprinting to the stairs.

  Money was hot on my heels, and we burst into the room to find Eve standing in her crib, her face red and tear-streaked.

  “Oh, baby,” I crooned, going to her and lifting her into my arms.

  “Burden, she’s just over two months old!” Money said, coming to stand beside us. “She can’t stand!”

  I was crying, now, even as Eve’s distress seemed to fade. “Is she crying because she did something new and it scared her? Or because she felt it, too – the dark one?”

  Money only shook his head.

  “Call Jay,” I said, motioning to the hallway with a jerk of my head. “I hate to say this, but we need him.”

  Chapter 14 – Getting Intel

  “Am I on speaker?” Jay’s voice sparked a light of relief in Money’s eyes and one of excitement in Eve’s. The three of us were seated on the sofa in the second-floor living room, the fire from the day having burnt to coals, but still warming the air pleasantly.

  “You are; we’re all here.”

  “Burden?”

  “Hi, Jay.”

  “What about my baby girl? Sorrow?”

  Eve bounced in my lap with an excited cry.

  “You should see her, Jay. She’s not your typical two-month old,” I said, laughing as she continued to bounce.

  “We knew she wouldn’t be – she’s forging a new pathway, Burden. A new ‘normal’”

  “We need to tell you about an event,” Money interjected, his face still contorted with worry.

  “What’s happened?”

  “There was a demon – just now, at the edge of the property.”

  “You’re at home, right? The big house?”

  “Yes,” I answered, my voice noticeably calmer than Money’s. We’d had very different experiences with the dark ones, and it reflected in our demeanors. “It was almost in the trees, but I could see it enough to know I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  Jay sighed.

  “And we destroyed it with one blast,” Money added. “We sent it together and it was strong – you’re going to be impressed with what we can do together, Journey -”

  I rolled my eyes, motioning for poor Money to get on with it.

  “- right; anyway, we gave it one blast and it blew apart. Just gone.”

  “What did it do before you banished it? Was it making any sound, or travelling any distance at all?”

  “We both thought if felt -incomplete,” I frowned, the word not exactly right.

  “Shit.”

  My heart skipped a beat.

  “What about its energy? After you blasted it?”

  I held a finger up, meeting Money’s eyes and cutting in. “Why does it sound like you’re less than surprised?”

  Jay sighed again. “We’ve been studying the dark ones; it seems we aren’t the only beings evolving.”

  I sucked in a breath.

  “The dark ones are changing, too?”

  “Yes. We figure they’ve had to, to meet the evolving strength of the ones who fight them.”

  “Like Eve?”

  “Yes. And you, and Money. We’re all changing. And there’s another -” he let the last word hang.

  “Can you tell us now why you’ve been away?” I heard the doubt in my own voice, but needed to ask, regardless.

  “I’ll tell you what you need to know tonight, and then everything when we come in a few weeks.”

  “We?”

  Money and I exchanged a look, and Eve giggled, yanking a handful of my hair.

  “I’m bringing the other Missive I’ve told you about, and a boy. A human.”

  I frowned.

  Money voiced our mutual confusion. “What? Why?”

  “Because he’s evolving, too, but he is too young and too weak to control his abilities.

  “Wait,” I interjected, shaking my head. “What abilities?”

  “He’s a gatherer of energy. A manipulator. He has abilities in both categories of Missive and Fated, Burden. But the dark ones know about him, too, and want him dead.”

  I grimaced. “I can imagine.”

  “How is this happening?”

  “They believe it is all down to the endangerment of the Fated. After so much time, the balance is uncertain and the dark ones have had the chance to gather and grow. I’ll tell you more in person, but you have to know now that they’ve become a force; a collection of dark ones into one being.”

  “Like it? The entity of us?”

  “The everything?” Money looked afraid again.

  “Something like it – but not. The entity is whole; it is balance; it is everything. This new collective is all dark.”

  “Shit,” Money breathed, and I grasped his hand, feeling strangely calm.

  “And what you saw tonight confirms our fears; that it would start organizing and sending out separate pieces of itself to gather information.”

  “It was a spy, then?”

  Eve leaned back to look at me, her eyes reflecting the light. So beautiful. I inhaled. She’s calming me.

  “Yes, but -”

  “Jay, Eve is calming me.”

  “What?”

  Money turned to me in an action equivalent to Jay’s response, a question in his eyes.

  “I’ve suspected it before – we know she can heal, but I think she calms, too. I can feel her doing it!”

  “Yes. There’s something else.”

  “You knew this?” Money yelled, frustration all over his face.

  “We are learning as she grows! We don’t know everything yet, because she changes every day. But we know that she is a gatherer, too. She can use energy – but not like the Fated.”

  “How, then?” I asked, then kissed the top of her head and handed her to Money.

  Money gladly took her.

  “You need her gifts more than I do, right now,” I smiled.

  “We aren’t sure. We don’t believe she sees the dark ones – or even feels them. She’s all light. Maybe she uses the energy to heal.”

  I shook my head. “What were you saying about the new dark entity? About it being just a piece of the whole?”

  “Right – it’s a new and very unfortunate advantage. Unfortunate for us. That thing you saw was just a shadow held together by scraps of darkness and thread. Destroy it, and it’s like you’ve poked the larger collective with the tip of your finger.”

  “So, while the piece of it is gone, it doesn’t do much to the whole?”

  Money’s face had changed as I spoke. I saw fear, but there was determination hardening his features, too.

  “That’s what we think. Remember, we’re still gathering information.”

  “And the boy you’re bringing – the human,” Money started, his voice steady. “He needs our protection?”

  “Not just that. He needs your help.”

  “How?” I asked.

  “The details will come with our arrival. Three weeks.”

  I slumped back into the cushions and Eve reached for me, her eyes tired.

  “Three weeks,” Money repeated, and the two hung up. He looked at me. “Are you ready for this?”

  I took his hand. “Of course. Our children will have a balanced world as long as I’m here to help make it so.”

  Money lowered his eyes, smiling. “I forget sometimes that you’re still pregnant!”

  I laughed. “I do, too. I feel so good.”

  He flicked his gaze to Eve, then back to mine. “It’s her, isn’t it?”

  I nodded. “I think so.”

  Chapter 15 – Training

  “This is cool,” Money whispered.

  “My face hurts from smiling,” I giggled, and the orb we were balancing above us wobbled. “Whoops.”

  “What do we do with it now?”

  I frowned. “I guess
we could absorb it again.”

  It was nap time for Eve, and we lay on our own bed, balancing an orb of energy above us, hands outstretched. Eve took dependable naps, probably due to her massive growth rate. It was something I was simultaneously grateful for and anxious about. On the one hand, it had afforded Money and I plenty of practice time by ourselves since we’d spoken to Jay, but on the other, it was just another reminder that she wasn’t a “normal” baby.

  “Draw it in, like when we gather?”

  I shrugged, the orb wobbling again. “I guess so. I wonder what would happen if we just dropped it?”

  Money was quiet. I slowly moved my head to study his profile.

  “What?”

  “Should we try it?” He was smiling, but it had been partially swallowed up by an expression of wonder. He turned to look at me, too, and I was overcome, as I often was, by the love I saw in his eyes.

  I smiled. “I think we should try it outside for the first time, maybe?”

  “You’re beautiful.”

  I felt the connection with the orb weaken and brought my full attention back to it. “Help me,” I giggled.

  He turned back to it.

  “Now, gather,” I said, but I left my eyes open. I could do that now; keep my focus like it was automatic. I watched as the energy surged back into us, first brightening and then stretching, flowing in watery tendrils, blue, white and orange, back into our fingertips.

  I noticed the majority of it flowed back into me and wondered at it – was it because I was pregnant and I it more? Or that I was more practiced, given Money’s ten-year surrender into depression?

  Either seemed a fine conclusion, but neither felt right, somehow. It was so easy for me. And we already knew I had evolved – at least enough to become pregnant by a Missive. Not to mention becoming simultaneously pregnant by Money. And Eve was a gifted gatherer.

  I made a mental note to talk to Jay about it.

  “It feels different than when we gather to fight.”

  My arms tingled with warmth as the energy moved through me. I lowered my arms. “It’s gone.”

  Money opened his eyes, smiling. “That’s better than any drug; I’m sure of it.”

  I turned to look at him again. “I don’t know what we’re going to be fighting, exactly, but I’m glad we’ve been preparing so much. I feel so much stronger.”

  He smiled. “Me, too.”

  I rolled to my side, facing him, then kissed his mouth slowly. “I don’t know what’s going on with you lately,” I muttered against his lips, “but you’re looking exceptionally sexy.” I kissed him again.

  He rolled toward me and drew me to him. “I always feel closer to you when we’re doing energy work,” he said, his eyes searching mine intently.

  “Me, too.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  I frowned. “In what way?”

  His gaze faltered as his cheeks colored red. “We’ve been so preoccupied since Eve was born; so busy with your family and the baby and now with preparations…but I want you to know I think of you all the time.”

  I smiled. “I’ve actually been wondering how you’re feeling about – that.”

  “I want you more than ever,” he met my eyes again, pressing my closer with his palms on my back. “Watching you with Eve – even with your family – and working together like we have been, I’ve seen you in different ways. I’ve seen you – separate from me. You as a mother, as a daughter and a sister. And you as a gifted warrior.”

  I realized I was holding my breath and laughed, turning my head as I blushed.

  Money brought my face back to look at him again. “You amaze me, Burden.”

  I kissed him again, feeling grateful for him. Feeling loved – feeling seen. “Thank you,” I said against his mouth.

  He pulled back after a moment. “You didn’t answer my question, though.”

  I smiled. “How am I feeling? About sex?”

  He laughed, and he looked so young and sweet in that moment I felt I might burst. “Yeah.”

  “Of course, I want you. I miss that with you – but to be honest, I’ve been worried about it, too.”

  His smile faded. “Tell me.”

  “Well – what if I’m different down there?”

  He made a face. “Why would you be?”

  “I don’t know! I know I had a cesarean, but - I don’t know. I guess I associate any sort of birth with a destroyed vagina. Temporarily, at least,” I frowned, and he laughed again.

  “I read about that; apparently the vagina is an amazingly resilient thing.”

  I rolled my eyes. “It’s not just that.”

  He frowned again. “You know I would want you no matter what, Burden. You have to feel the truth in that.”

  I nodded.

  “So, what is it, then?”

  “It’s the baby.”

  “Eve?”

  I shook my head.

  His eyes cleared. “Oh.”

  “I know we can’t see anything wrong when we go for checkups – and all the tests are coming back better than good! But – I feel like this pregnancy is – fragile,” I felt my eyes well with tears. “It’s like a gift I didn’t even know I wanted, but now it’s here, growing so quietly, almost undetectably except this,” I took his hand and placed it on the firm bump in my abdomen. “I mean, we forget I’m pregnant at all, all the time!”

  He shook his head. “That doesn’t mean we’re not happy and excited. Or that we don’t love him.”

  I giggled through my tears. “We’re both calling him, ‘him’.”

  Money only smiled and wiped a tear from my cheekbone.

  “I just feel selfish being so – happy!” I exclaimed, surprised at how the words sounded, never having admitted it to myself.

  “We are lucky,” Money said, his face serious. “But it hasn’t always been easy for either of us. And we know there are hard times to come! So, it is not selfish of us to enjoy this short time together in peace, with our incredible daughter and another child healthy and growing inside of you.”

  It felt true. Happiness bloomed in my chest like a spark of light.

  “OK?”

  I nodded, crying just a little, but smiling, too.

  “And - if you’re feeling a little better about things – a little more confident about our baby – I’ll mention the obvious, but important fact that Eve is still sleeping and,” he glanced at his bare wrist, “if I’m right, we have some time…” he ran his hand along my arm and into the shallow curve of my waist. He lingered at my hip, his touch practically sizzling, then grasped my behind and pulled me closer.

  “Oh!” I cried, surprised and thrilled at the same time and bringing my leg up to curl around his pelvis.

  “Is this alright?” he held my gaze with eyes such intensity I felt undone.

  I nodded. “Just – just be careful,” I whispered as he dove into my neck, his mouth suckling and kissing the sensitive flesh there until I felt desperate for more.

  I rolled onto my back, encouraging him to follow with a grasp of his shoulder, and I wrapped both legs around him, wanting him so much it was very nearly painful. I pulled him to me and took his mouth as my hips rose to press us together.

  He came up for air, laughing breathlessly. “You don’t seem so worried anymore.”

  I slid my hands down the front of his shorts, a burst of heat surging from my belly to the spot between my legs when I found him, rock-hard and ready. “Please,” I gasped, and he tore at my leggings with a triumphant growl, then took me, both of us yelling at the feeling of release, even as we were just beginning the climb to euphoria.

  “I love you,” I panted as we moved, and I saw his reply in his eyes.

  And when we reached our climax, it was explosive, mutual orgasms feeding off each other until we lay, sweaty and spent and laughing at ourselves for waiting so long.

  “But maybe it was good,” I said, trailing my fingers down his chest.

  “I think it’s sort
of beautiful,” he smiled at me, looking exultant.