The Depths of Sorrow

by Eleanor Eden

  Odyssey had knelt before Garrett as I retrieved Eve from her crib. “I can’t leave you alone.”

  “I’ll stand at the kitchen door,” he’d said, and Odyssey had nodded, her eyes still searching his. “I can’t see it yet,” he added, his eyes bright with tears.

  “They’ll be exposed soon enough, anyway,” I said quietly, my hand on Odyssey’s shoulder. “Let’s not push him tonight.”

  By the time we’d gotten a fire going and seated ourselves, half of Money’s allotted time had passed, but I felt no relief. As connected to him as I was, I knew all was not quiet ten minutes down the road where he and Jay confronted the dark one.

  “What?” Odyssey was watching my expression.

  I shook my head, bringing myself back to my surroundings. “Jay said you’ve been working on something, too.”

  She lowered her gaze, her cheeks blazing pink. “It’s probably nothing,” she said.

  It was strange to see her flustered. “Can you tell me?”

  She laughed and looked toward the trees. “I ride horses. I can’t here, of course, but I usually bring mine wherever I go. He’s in Spain right now.”

  I smiled, but cocked my head. “OK…”

  She shook her head. “I was starting to work on something before we came here. For years, I’ve felt something when I ride – as though -” she paused. “As though I can feel our path…where we’re going?” she raised her eyebrows, her eyes searching mine for understanding.

  “I’m not sure I know what that means,” I giggled, trying to relax her into revealing more.

  “Well, sometimes, when we were galloping fast, I’d picture our destination and suddenly, we’d just – well it seemed like – we were there. Right away. With no memory of how we’d gotten there.” She made a face. “Even the horse seemed confused.”

  I frowned. “What?”

  She shook her head again. “I know; I’m probably just getting caught up in my imagination. I do that a lot; always have,” she put her nose into Eve’s curls, her eyes still clouded with the puzzle of her words.

  I felt something; my whole body tensing as I turned to the trees.

  “What is it?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

  “Do you think he’ll bring it here?”

  I nodded. “I know he will.”

  As sure as I’d sounded, I was wholly unprepared for Money’s return. He burst through the trees at the back of the property like a shot, branches cracking from the impact and the trunks themselves shaking. The ground vibrated as roots loosened their grip on the earth and then settled back into their beds.

  I stood, gathering already as I puzzled inwardly at Money’s odd, orange glow.

  “I can’t cast it!” he cried as he approached, and I felt him as he streaked past me, a steam engine of heat and sizzling electricity.

  I watched him lap the house, turning on my heel.

  “He’s changed what energy he drew, that’s certain!” Odyssey stepped close behind me.

  I turned back, my eyes checking Eve first, and then back to the trees, which rustled anew. But there was no breeze “It’s here,” I said, and Money streaked past us again.

  I made a face, looking to Odyssey. “I don’t think he can stop!”

  “He needs to get rid of the buildup!”

  “Mama!” Eve cried, pointing at Money as he disappeared around the house again.

  I frowned, then turned back to the trees. A dark one stood at the edge; a beast on two legs and a large head, like a dog’s. Good; these ones I know, I thought, and started to gather, glancing again at my daughter, whose eyes were on the corner of the house that Money would appear around again.

  And he did, flying toward us at a somewhat diminished speed and with a desperate look on his face.

  And then – for me, at least - everything slowed down. Eve cried, “Mama!” again as he approached, pointing at Money, but turning to look at me, and my shoulder joints tingled with focused energy.

  And suddenly, I knew what to do.

  “Go toward it!” I screamed, motioning Money toward the dark one. There was a split second of confusion on his face, but then it cleared, and he changed direction, earth flying up at the force from his feet as he turned.

  “Burden! What -?” Odyssey’s voice was distant as everything sped back up and I let loose a stream of light with a yell toward Money. I worked to hold back with a grimace, the light wanting to fly from my hands uncontrolled.

  And then it hit him and he skidded to a stop, arms flying out on either side of him, and a torrent of the orangey light flowed from what looked like his chest from my position, and into the dark one, sending it howling into nothingness before the stream died out.

  Money fell to his knees, then toppled, and I ran toward him, my heart hammering in my chest. I heard Eve crying behind me and felt Odyssey follow with her, the three of us kneeling around Money’s form simultaneously.

  “Baby?” I cried, leaning down to him, but he didn’t move except to breathe. I exhaled, relieved, and looked at Eve. “Can you help Mommy, baby girl?”

  A stream appeared between us without hesitation, and I drew from her, but only for a moment, then I placed my right hand on Eve and my left on Money and sent Eve’s brightness back out.

  “What the hell?” Jay’s voice came from behind us as he jogged over and Odyssey turned, laughing and crying at the same time.

  “You should have seen!”

  “I did,” Jay said, quietly.

  Money sat up and Eve bounced in Odyssey’s arms.

  “Shit,” I panted. “That could have gone better.”

  But Odyssey laughed. “Are you kidding? That was incredible!”

  “Are you alright?” I sought reassurance in the depths of Money’s eyes and was not disappointed. He was even smiling.

  “That was cool,” he replied.

  I looked up at Jay. “Eve can stream to light energy and I can stream to dark.”

  He nodded, brow furrowed and eyes stormy.

  I took Eve from Odyssey. “Are you OK?”

  And my infant daughter nodded, eyes on mine. Then, she smiled. “Mama,” she said, and I laughed, finally, relief washing over me.

  “Thank you, baby,” I breathed, holding her against me as I reached for Money’s hand. “She knew,” I said as he reached back. “She knew what we could do.”

  “I want to fight like that,” Garrett’s voice had us all looking back toward the house. He’d emerged and was coming toward us. He met my eyes. “I want to be like you.”

  Chapter 23 – The Calm

  After that, I think we were all relieved to settle back into a routine.

  We still practiced – the children, Money and I. We wove energy manipulation into all aspects of life. But there was nothing like the explosive scene that night when Money brought the dark one back to us, vibrating with his own energy, drawn from darkness and turned into something else within him.

  But afterward, when there was no dark energy for Money to draw, we were left to try and work out the details in discussion – and that was about as useful as it sounds.

  I could hear Money and Jay late at night, theorizing and imagining, but I withdrew to bed and slept, confused about Money’s newfound gifts and my own, as well.

  Somehow, Jay had made sense of my ability; a Fated’s energy is made to combat darkness. But my ability to stream had me using dark energy, too – through Money. We figured I couldn’t draw it, but it made sense that I could repel it – push it out of Money, just as Eve seemed able to do with light, through us.

  But Money’s gift was more puzzling. More ominous, too. Just the fact that he could gather the shadow was strange, and it left us with more questions than anything.

  He hadn’t known how to cast it out once he’d had it – but why? Had he been overwhelmed with it as he suggested and simply unable to focus it? He’d been ensconced in it when he’d returned and streaked past us; the unfocused part made sense to me. But the p
ressure he described as it built within him was so like Garrett’s description of the light pulsing within him when I streamed into him that it made me wonder if Money was simply in the learning stages – that, with practice, he’d be able to cast on his own.

  And his ability to draw light continued to diminish. I was still able to push borrowed energy into him for healing purposes – and Eve was, too, but his independent drawing had tapered only to when he and I worked together.

  He said it was like he forgot how to do it when I wasn’t there to demonstrate.

  It made me feel odd. And anxious. Why should a Fated evolve to work only with darkness?

  Jay had wondered aloud if it was because the balance had turned and there was more dark energy to draw, now. And we all knew how close Money had been to darkness in the years preceding.

  The others were only too excited to imagine how it could be useful against Legion, but I was unwilling to accept it all at face value just yet. So, I held back, listening at the boundaries of their excitement, working more and more with Eve to gather, focus, and exchange the light we’d only ever known to use as a weapon in the past.

  And, though I led when we were trying something new, Eve was as much a teacher as she was a willing participant.

  At four months old, my daughter had the wisdom of a Missive.

  It amazed us all.

  But it terrified me, too.

  It was a lazy, hot day when Jay came toward Money, Eve and I with a twinkle of a new idea in his eyes.

  We were on a blanket by the trees, lounging in the shade and feeling, for once, like a normal little family. Eve’s growth hadn’t slowed; she was crawling, interacting with her surroundings as much as she was advancing physically.

  She was saying more words and standing with more confidence, and her hair cascaded past her shoulders in bouncing curls. It seemed like every time she stretched, she grew longer, taller, and we watched in awe – all of us.

  Garrett’s special bond with her continued to deepen. I’d look on with awe and pride as they practiced, Eve streaming into him and effortlessly pushing his casts with the force of gunpowder. But they played, too, like children unencumbered with the type of responsibilities that Fated bore.

  And I grew, too. My belly rounded and pressed tighter against my shirts, and the baby announced his presence with frequent kicks and rolls, to my great relief.

  “What is it?” I asked as Jay approached.

  He held my phone out. “It’s your work,” he grinned, and I sat up. They’d insisted I take as long as I needed to care for Eve, but they hadn’t any clue I was pregnant again – or rather, still. And I’d been so distracted with – everything! – that I hadn’t even begun to puzzle over my return.

  “Mario?”

  “Bird, it’s so nice to hear your voice. No worries; I’m just checking in.”

  “I miss you guys,” I replied, and it wasn’t a lie. I’d only been forgetting to miss that part of my life.

  “How is your little one?”

  “Eve,” I smiled, watching as she grasped Jay’s pants and pulled herself up to standing, reaching up for her father. “She’s amazing.”

  “We’d love to meet her!” he enthused. A typical sentiment after a baby was born, I knew, but it made my stomach flip.

  “Yeah, that would be good, but – um – there’s something else I need to tell you.”

  Mario sighed. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

  I laughed, taken aback. “What?”

  “You’re not coming back. To work.”

  “I am, too!”

  “Really?” he chuckled. “We’ve made so many improvements with your skills and guidance, Bird. Regardless of your schedule, the job we’ve created for you stands open for you.”

  I felt tears well in my eyes. “That’s so generous, Mario.”

  “Even if you need this season off completely, we’ll be waiting with open arms for your return next year.”

  I locked eyes with Money, who was listening carefully.

  “I’m pregnant again,” I blurted, and the sound Mario made matched Money’s expression. Exasperation, humor, joy. “I – it’s true, Mario. It happened right after Eve was born.”

  “Oh, you’re serious!”

  I laughed. “I am.”

  “Tabernacle!”

  I giggled at the French curse word; this one could mean excitement as much as surprise and disbelief.

  “Congratulations!” Mario added, and I could hear him cover the phone as he spoke to someone in the background.

  It was Giselle who came back on. “Mon dieu! Is it true?”

  I laughed again. “It’s true. But it doesn’t mean what Mario said. I love my job. I don’t want to lose it.”

  “But, oh, that’s wonderful!” there was a sound of muttering again.

  “You should go in tomorrow,” Money said, his voice low.

  I looked at him. “I don’t want to; not without Eve,” I placed a hand on my belly and his face registered understanding.

  “Right!” he said.

  “My dear,” Giselle was back on the line. “We want you to do whatever you are comfortable with! If you can spend some time on work, you are free to do it from home or wherever you need to be!”

  “Coming in would be difficult,” I watched as Jay walked toward the house with Eve. “Because of the – closeness – of the pregnancies, this one is high-risk. I need to be careful.”

  “Of course; I understand.”

  “But I could definitely do some work from home!”

  “That’s wonderful! And perhaps you could participate in planning meetings over Skype?”

  I imagined the effort it would take to hide Eve from the camera. “Definitely,” I answered, sure we could work it out. “My work is important to me,” I finished, the truth in the words stirring some emotion inside me.

  Money put a hand on my knee. Jay muttered something to him under his breath, then went with Eve back toward the house.

  When I ended the call, Money sat up and leaned in for a kiss. “We should move back to the tiny,” he smiled, eyes twinkling.

  I frowned at the sudden change of direction. “How?”

  He gestured toward the house. “Eve is nearly walking, and she’s smart enough to be able to negotiate the challenges of the space, I know she is.”

  I stared blankly. “Say more.”

  He laughed. “Think about it; we could start the garden! It’s late, but definitely not too late.”

  I shook my head. “But with what’s coming, doesn’t it make more sense to be here with Garrett? Jay and Odyssey, too?”

  He shrugged. “You might not believe this, but it was Jay’s suggestion; he says we all need to keep a bit of ‘normal’ in our lives. Besides, we’ve talked everything over until it’s more philosophy than fact. The truth is, we’re just waiting here. Why not wait in our home, with our garden and our window seat?”

  I smiled. “And our loft?”

  He nodded. “Eve will love sleeping beneath the stars.”

  “But we’ll have no privacy,” I felt the smile melt off my face. “I’ve really been enjoying the freedom of having our own bedroom,” I said, quietly, though there was nobody close enough to listen.

  He kissed me again. “We don’t have to – enjoy our freedom – while she sleeps next to us. We could enjoy it on the main floor while she naps, or after she’s in bed for the night.”

  “We need better window coverings,” I smiled, nodding. “Could it work? Being there?”

  “I think it could,” he smiled back.

  Chapter 24 – Dream

  “Burden…”

  My name came to me on a cool breeze of air, more music than spoken word. I floated, more comfortable than I’d ever been, yet unsure of my surroundings.

  I opened my eyes and at first, saw nothing.

  “Burden of the Fated Order, welcome.”

  My entire being reacted – every cell on alert. I was with them.

  “
I never asked what to call you last time.”

  “There is no human word. What would you call us here?”

  I paused, letting myself be overtaken by the sensations of being at the source, free of my earthy shell, but still able to feel the presence of my baby within my being. “Love?” I answered. It was the closest description.