What to Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection (WTRAFSOG)

by CJ Roberts

  Nic shook his head. “You don’t understand.”

  “I do understand, and you know it.” The words came out more sharply than she’d intended. Softening her tone, she continued. “I wasted years of my life feeling guilty. Talk to Rachel, tell her how you feel, and get over it. Then thank God every day that she’s still alive so you can be with her and enjoy your time together.” Her eyes filled with tears. “That’s something I’ll never have the chance to do with Todd. So don’t talk to me about guilt or remorse. I know all about it, and if I can move on, so can you.”

  Nic closed the distance between them and cupped her cheeks tenderly. “Chérie,” he said, his voice soft. “I know you think this is like you and Todd. And in some ways, maybe it is. But Rachel isn’t dead. She has to live with being paralyzed every single day of her life.”

  “That’s the point. Rachel isn’t dead. She’s useful and productive, and together the two of you have built something wonderful. The ranch helps other kids with spinal injuries, and through the Make-A-Wish Foundation, you make a huge difference in the lives of hundreds of seriously ill children every year. There’s honor in that. And if you doubt what I’m saying, remember the look on Claire’s face when you danced with her.”

  “It’s not enough.” He dropped his hands.

  “The way I see it, you accepted responsibility for your mistakes, and every day you work to make amends. Most people don’t.”

  “I can try for the rest of my life, but it will never be enough. You’re just not getting it.” With rough movements, he scrubbed his face. “Because of me, my father drank himself to death, my sister is paralyzed for life, and my mother cried her way through the last ten years of her life. Because of my stupid mistake, as you call it, I wrecked the lives of my entire family. Nothing I can ever do will make up for that.”

  Lauren barely stifled a groan. How could she get him to understand? “Your father blamed you, but he was wrong. Any time a parent leaves one child to care for another, they’re taking a risk. And if something goes wrong, as it did that night, they have to share the blame. Your father drank himself to death because he knew the truth. He blamed you because it was easier than admitting his own guilt.”

  “Ah, Lauren, sweet Lauren.” He wrapped a curl around her ear and smiled wryly. “I guess what they say about love being blind is true. When you have time to think about all this, your feelings for me will wear off, and then you’ll see me for who I am.” He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. “And you’ll leave me.”

  Lauren held herself as still as she could. Oh, God. How could she tell him about New York now? He’d automatically assume he was right, that she was leaving because of this. But she couldn’t lie and say she’d never leave him, either. So she said the only thing she could say with all honesty. “You’re wrong, Nic. My feelings for you will never change.”

  “I’m sure you believe that. But things are getting very dangerous. If you or Jason get hurt because of me, everything will change.”

  “Did something else happen?”

  “The stalker’s threats are escalating. She sent me a message with another photo to make sure I believed the blackmail letter was real.”

  “Can you send it to me?” Another photo meant the possibility of more clues.

  Nic nodded.

  “I’ll do whatever I can to help the police catch her. This person knows everything about you.” Things no one knows besides Vivian. But why would Vivian threaten to kill Nic? From the first time Lauren had met the woman at the photo shoot in D.C., it had been clear that Vivian had deep feelings for Nic, feelings he didn’t reciprocate, at least not in a sexual way. Was Vivian trying to get Lauren out of the picture? Was Lauren the real target? Disturbed by that thought, she rubbed her arms to ward off the chill that suddenly gripped her.

  She loved Nic, more than she ever thought she could love a man. But if she didn’t want Jason to end up an orphan, she had to get away from him.

  And away from Vivian.

  Nic stood on the balcony taking in the view of L.A., relief and trepidation warring in his mind. Like Damocles sitting under the hanging sword, he knew it was only a matter of time before it fell. After his confession to Lauren, he’d given Kaden an abbreviated version. The man had concluded the whole blackmail thing was “bullshit.”

  Lauren’s reaction had been more ambivalent. She hadn’t exactly run screaming, but he’d seen fear flash in her green gaze when she’d told him: this person knows everything about you. She suspected Vivian, and some of the evidence did fit, but he couldn’t bring himself to believe it.

  Without Vivian, his mother would have died in the hovel they’d been renting. And Rachel? God knows what would have become of her. He owed Vivian everything.

  The thought of her threatening to kill him, or anyone, was simply ludicrous. Besides, Vivian was an in-your-face kind of woman. She wouldn’t hide behind anonymous messages. Pulling the phone out of his back pocket, he dialed her number.

  She answered immediately. “Hello, darling. How is our dear Lorna today?”

  “Vivian, you know that’s not her name.”

  Nic heard silence on the line, then a long sigh. “You’re right, and I’m sorry. Is Lauren feeling better today?”

  “I have some bad news. Rachel received a blackmail notice. I’m to pay ten million dollars by Sunday or they’ll kill me.”

  Vivian gasped but didn’t say anything, so he continued. “The blackmail note also said they’d tell the press about Rachel’s accident. Did you ever tell anyone?”

  “Absolutely not.”

  “What about David?”

  “He wasn’t the sort to go spilling secrets. But, you never know. What are you going to do, darling?”

  “Pay them. We need to discuss my finances and how we can get the money.”

  “I’ll collect all your documents and be there in an hour.”

  “Thanks, Viv. You’re a good friend.”

  He could hear the smile in her voice when she replied, “You make it easy, darling.”

  As he slipped the phone back in his pocket, Lauren stepped out onto the balcony. He turned and leaned against the railing, trying to catch a hint of what she was feeling. Her guarded expression gave him all the answer he needed.

  She handed him a large glass of ice tea. “I thought you could use a cold drink.”

  He took the glass and planted a kiss on her pink lips. “I love you, you know that, right?”

  She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I know. I love you, too.”

  What was he going to do? He felt like Romeo to her Juliet, lovers destined never to be together. Then he remembered something Vivian said at the Gala. “Vanity Fair contacted you?” Maybe talking about her career would bring the sparkle back into her eyes.

  “The assistant editor called. They’re interested in my work.”

  “This is just the beginning.” He smiled brightly.

  “Actually,” Lauren said, her gaze focused on the view over his shoulder. “They’re interested in more than a few photos. They offered me a position.”

  “A position? That’s fantastic!” He pulled her into his arms and twirled her in circles, making her laugh. When he stopped, they were both breathless. “I knew everyone would love your work.” Fingers threaded in her hair, he kissed her tenderly. “I’m so proud of you, chérie.”

  Lauren swallowed and pressed her face into his shoulder. “None of this would have been possible without you.”

  “That’s not true. I may have helped, but it’s your talent that made it happen.” He looked down at the love of his life, hating what he had to do. When he spoke, his voice was rough. “So, you’ll be returning to Seattle tomorrow? Kaden arranged for a bodyguard to go with you.” Her head jerked up, her eyes wide. His words sounded like a brush-off, but it was better for her to be a little hurt than a lot dead.

  “Ah,” she cleared her throat. “Actually, I’m heading out to New York City.”

  What t
he fuck? “The job is in New York?”

  “Yes.” Then as he pinned her with his stare, she jammed her hands in the front pockets of her pants. “I start on Friday.”

  He frowned. “When did you find out?”

  “This morning.”

  “Before or after I told you about the accident?”

  “Before.”

  “And when did you decide to leave?”

  “Why the inquisition, Nic?”

  “Answer the question.”

  “When they called.”

  Nic whirled around, unable to bear the lie on her face. No way had Lauren decided to up and move clear across the country so quickly.

  Unless she was trying to get as far away from him as possible.

  “Nic.” When he didn’t respond, she tugged on his sleeve. “Look at me.” Reluctantly, he turned and met her gaze. “What’s going on?”

  The concern in her voice had little effect on him. She could pretend all she wanted, but he knew the truth. He crossed his arms over his chest to keep from touching her, then leaned forward until his face was only inches from hers. “You’re leaving because of Rachel.”

  “Oh,” she gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. “Don’t think that!”

  “How can I not? I tell you, and less than an hour later, you say you’re moving to the East Coast.” He leaned his elbows on the railing and closed his eyes against the bitterness he heard in his voice.

  “This has nothing to do with Rachel. It’s about me. I want this job, and I need the money.”

  He sighed and opened his eyes. “There’s more to this than just the job.” Pushing away from the railing, he stood in front of her. Giving in to the desire to feel her warmth, he cupped her shoulders with his hands. “Be honest with me. I’ve told you everything. You have the power to ruin me with one call to the paparazzi.”

  Tears welled in her eyes. She pressed her palm over his heart and leaned her forehead against his chest. He slid his hands down her arms and around her waist, holding her tight, and nuzzled her hair. Her body shook with the force of her sobs. Shit. “It’s okay, chérie. I understand.”

  Lifting her head, she wiped her cheeks. “No, you don’t.” With her arms around his neck, she stared into his eyes and spoke a truth that shattered his soul. “I love you, Nic. I always will. But my son has to come first. The stalker killed Summer, and now she’s coming after me. I know you’ll try to protect me, but I can’t take that kind of risk. I can’t bring that kind of danger into Jason’s life, not even for you.”

  Each word pierced his heart like a bullet. He’d known she’d dump him, but he’d hoped it wouldn’t be so suddenly, and so completely. But she was right. Jason had to be her number one priority.

  He caressed her cheek. “You’ll both be safer if you have nothing to do with me. That’s what the stalker wants.” He pulled out of her arms and took a step back, thrusting his fists into his pockets. “I assume you’ll want to leave for Seattle today.”

  She wiped her cheeks and nodded. “I think that’s best,” she said in a small voice.

  Spinning around on his heel, he headed for the patio door. “I’ll tell Kaden so he can alert your bodyguard to the change of plans.” Inside the kitchen and out of sight of Lauren, he slammed his fist into the wall.

  He’d wanted Lauren to leave. He just hadn’t expected it to hurt so fucking much.

  Nic paced the living room, listening to the small noises coming from his bedroom as Lauren packed up her things. It was probably a good thing she was leaving right away. Maybe it would be like pulling off a Band-Aid, the quicker you did it, the less it hurt. Yeah, right.

  When the security intercom buzzed, he practically ran to the door, relieved to have something to take his mind off Lauren, if only for a few moments.

  He let Vivian into the building and waited for her by the elevator door. As soon as they settled on the couch, Nic asked, “How much cash do I have?”

  “Most of your money is tied up in investments I can’t quickly liquidate. I might be able to pull together two million.”

  He ran his hands through his hair and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. How could it be that even after ten years in the business with countless hit movies, he still had money problems like some struggling wannabe? The money he’d made last year had earned him the title of highest-paid actor. The numbers didn’t add up.

  “Where’s all the money I made from Darkness Rising?” She started fidgeting with her purse strap and his anxiety shot up. Vivian never fidgeted. “Viv, whatever it is, you can tell me.”

  Tears flooded her eyes as she raised her gaze to meet his. He braced himself for some very bad news. The only time he’d ever seen Vivian cry was when David died. “I don’t know how to tell you this. You’re going to hate me.”

  He watched the tears stream down her cheeks, creating thin lines of mascara like scratches on her face. “Take a deep breath and start from the beginning. Whatever it is can’t be as bad as you think.”

  “After David died, the hospital bills came in faster than I could pay them. I took out a loan, but when David’s clients started leaving the agency, I started missing payments. After I missed the third one, they sent a collection agency after me. My lawyer managed to negotiate an extension to the loan but with a much higher interest rate.” She arched a brow. “If I couldn’t make the original payments, how on earth did they expect me to make the higher ones?”

  Shock made his jaw drop. He’d known the agency was struggling, but he’d had no idea things had gotten this bad. She’d never seemed troubled by anything. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Her round, wet eyes implored him to understand. “I thought if you knew, you’d leave the agency like the others. Then I’d be alone. I’d have nothing and no one.”

  Unable to stand the shadows of fear swirling in his friend’s eyes, this woman who had been his rock, he pulled her close as if to shelter her from the world. Rubbing her back, he whispered soothing words in her ear.

  After several minutes, her sobbing subsided, and she pulled back. “I got your shirt all wet.”

  “Never mind. Just tell me the rest.”

  She bit her lower lip and continued to stare at his wet shirt for a moment. But then she nodded. “I know it was wrong, but….” She paused and turned half away. “I started borrowing money from you to make my payments. I was sure I could rebuild the agency and pay you back with interest, before you needed to know. Only…”

  “Only…” he urged.

  “Only things didn’t work out that way. I couldn’t get any other big-name artists to join the agency. And when the market crashed, I needed to borrow even more money from you to keep the agency afloat.” Reluctantly, she met his gaze. “I’m so sorry.”

  Jesus Christ. What an absolute fucking disaster. Vivian knew that besides what he spent to maintain his image, every cent he made was used to support Rachel and the ranch. He needed his money. “How much did you borrow?”

  “Does it matter anymore, darling? The money’s gone.”

  His fingers dug into the armrest. “How much?”

  Swallowing visibly, she straightened her spine. “Forty million.”

  Nic’s eyes rounded at the sheer magnitude of the number. “Forty fucking million? Even without insurance, David’s hospital bills couldn’t add up to that much. Did you fucking burn it?”

  “You’re angry.” Her voice was flat, emotionless, like the Vivian he was used to.

  “No shit, Sherlock.” Jumping up from the couch, he began pacing the room. “How could you do this to me? I would have helped you if you’d asked. But to just take it?” He threw his hands up in the air. “God. I can’t fucking believe this.”

  “Darling, please understand—”

  He whirled around, interrupting her. “Understand what, Vivian? You haven’t answered my question. What the fuck did you do. With. All. My. Money?”

  “Besides the two million I borrowed for the hospital bills, David invested half
of it in a land deal before he died. We were going to build a five hundred unit loft high-rise, right in downtown L.A. The projected returns were fantastic. Tripling your money. But then the real estate bubble burst and the deal fell through. We lost everything.”

  Nic was squeezing his fists so tightly, he drew blood. After a quick glance at his palms, he shoved his hands into his pockets. Blacking out was the last thing he needed right now. “What about the other half?”

  “Carmichael Productions. Four years ago, David started a film production company. All our clients invested in it, including you.”

  “Nice of you to let me know. What happened to the company?” He sneered. “Let me guess, it went under too?”

  Hands in her lap, she sat on the couch like a statue. Her lips barely moving, she said so softly, he almost didn’t hear her, “I’ll understand if you want to quit the agency.”

  He snorted. “Don’t you realize I could have you arrested for fucking embezzlement?” But God, could he really do that to her? Vivian would never survive prison; she’d barely survived losing David. One thing was sure—she wouldn’t be managing his goddamn money anymore.

  “There is another way,” she said.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “To get the money you need to pay the blackmailers. I’m selling my house. The deal should be going through in the next day or so.”

  Nic sat back down beside her. “You’re moving?” Was another woman in his life leaving him?

  Vivian smiled. “I’d never go anywhere without you. The house is too big and I don’t need it anymore. The buyer agreed to pay six million for it, which with the two million from your investments leaves you only two million short.”

  “Any idea where I can get that kind of money?”

  She grinned. “Lauren could sell her Harry Winston necklace.”

  He narrowed his eyes at her. “Never.”

  “I was kidding.” She patted his knee. “But seriously, back when business was booming, David bought me some nice pieces. I’ll take them to the jewelers and see what I can get.”