The Christmas Proposition

by Cindy Kirk

  “Congratulations.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a big kiss. “You’re a rock star.”

  He flushed with pleasure. “My mother and Jim, as well as my sister and her family are flying in.” He took her hand. “It will be a great opportunity for you and Mickie to meet them. I thought we could—”

  “I can’t go.” Regret made her voice thick.

  His smile disappeared. “You can’t? Why not?”

  Please God, please. Help him understand.

  “The community is dedicating a fallen heroes memorial at the city park.” Rachel spoke faster as storm clouds began forming in his eyes. “Most of the men and women being honored are fallen military and law enforcement, except for—”

  “Tom.”

  He practically spat the name and her temper flared. Mickie wasn’t the only one feeling the effects of a late night. But Rachel managed to keep a tight rein on her emotions, reminding herself that Derek was disappointed. But still, couldn’t he see that she was disappointed, too? “If it were any other day, I’d love to—”

  “Tom is dead. I’m alive,” he continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “You’re telling me you’d rather stay here and commemorate the past rather than come with me and celebrate the future?”

  “It’s not just me, Derek. Tom’s parents are flying in. The clerk he protected is coming. How can I not be there? I’m his wife and—” Rachel stopped. “I mean, I was his wife.”

  Derek jumped to his feet. “You got it right the first time.”

  Though he stood close enough to touch, she felt him slipping further and further away. A sudden desperation took hold. She rose to her feet. “Please, let me explain.”

  His expression gave nothing away. It was as if he was on the mound, bases loaded, no outs, the cool blue eyes saying he was in perfect control of the situation. But the tiny muscle jumping in his jaw told her he wasn’t as composed as he appeared. He cocked his head. “The Friday night that I came over…when you were just getting out of the tub.”

  “What about it?”

  “If I hadn’t stopped by, would you have called and asked me over?” His penetrating gaze demanded nothing less than total honesty.

  She wanted to say yes, but that would be a lie. Her emotions had been in turmoil then. She hadn’t known what she wanted.

  “Rachel?” he prompted.

  “I don’t know,” she said after a long moment. “I’d like to say yes, but I really can’t say for sure.”

  “Because of Tom. Because you knew you’d never love anyone like you loved him.” That had been what she’d thought at the time, but even then she’d felt a strong pull toward Derek. Most importantly, it wasn’t how she felt now. “Yes, I thought that once, but—”

  “That’s all I needed to hear.” He whirled and reached for his coat just as Mickie entered the room.

  She was still in her flannel pajamas, her face flushed from sleep. “Merry Christmas, Mr. Rossi.”

  “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

  The girl’s gaze settled on the coat in his hands. “Are you going somewhere?”

  “I can’t stay.” He hesitated for a second and his eyes grew soft. “But I brought your presents.”

  Tears welled in Mickie’s eyes and her shoulders drooped. But to Rachel’s surprise the girl didn’t argue. It was as if she’d seen this coming. Or maybe she’d just grown resigned to disappointment. “Can I at least give you a hug before you go?”

  “Of course.” Derek dropped his coat to the chair before crossing the few feet that separated them. He pulled the child into his arms and held her close for several heartbeats.

  “I’ll be in touch about you coming to Los Angeles,” he whispered against her hair.

  “Okay.”

  Derek’s gaze narrowed. He pressed his palms against her cheeks. The furrow in his brow deepened. “Mickie, munchkin, you’re hot. Too hot. How do you feel?”

  “Sad.” Mickie’s face scrunched and she sniffed loudly.

  “Derek, can’t you at least stay until we open gifts?” Not only did Rachel hate to see Mickie disappointed, but she also desperately needed the time. Time to convince him that Tom was her past. Time to convince Derek that he was her future.

  He shook his head and gave Fred a final pat on the neck.

  Rachel fought the tears pushing against the back of her lids and turned her face. She couldn’t watch him walk out that door knowing it might be the last time she’d see him. She simply couldn’t. Instead she focused on Mickie and forced a bright tone. “Shall we eat or open gifts first?”

  “I don’t feel so good.”

  Rachel felt, rather than saw, Derek pause at the door.

  For the first time since Mickie had entered the room, Rachel studied the child. Not with the eyes of a foster parent, but the eyes of a mother. Her cheeks were bright red while her skin was unusually pale. Fever dulled her normally bright eyes. Mickie wasn’t tired, like Rachel had thought. She was sick.

  What kind of nurse was she? Worse yet, what kind of mother didn’t notice her child was ill?

  Rachel crouched down. She placed her hand on the girl’s forehead, then dropped it to her arm when Mickie began to sway. “Honey, you’re burning up. We need to get you to bed. Can you walk? Or do you want to lie down out here?”

  “I don’t feel so good,” Mickie repeated, her voice shaky.

  “I’ll carry her to the bedroom.” Derek crossed the room in several long strides.

  Rachel stepped to the side just in time for Mickie to throw up…all over Derek.

  Derek hopped out of the shower, dried off, then tightened the belt to Rachel’s fuzzy pink bathrobe around him.

  After getting Mickie settled in bed, Rachel had confiscated his clothes and put them into the washing machine. He’d almost insisted on driving home to clean up, but the smell of vomit all over his shirt and jeans made him queasy.

  He’d stood in the shower for a long time, washing the smell away and doing some hard thinking. Last night, after learning that Mickie had been the one reaching out to him, he’d found himself wanting to confront Rachel so he could get the reassurance he craved. The realization that it could end up ruining the evening for all of them had kept him silent. Still, he’d ended up cutting the night short when temptation threatened his resolve.

  Now he had his answer. But it made no sense to be upset with Rachel. The fact that he’d fallen in love with her was his problem, not hers. She’d made it clear that she wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. Or a husband.

  Friends with benefits. He snorted. What a stupid label. And completely inaccurate. On his part anyway.

  Of course she’d want to stay for her husband’s memorial. Of course. Tom might be dead, but he was still the most important person in her life. Derek had been foolish to hope otherwise.

  He glanced down at the fuzzy robe. When Rachel looked back on their time together, if she looked back, this would be how she’d picture him.

  His lips twisted in a wry smile. Great. Just great.

  But what was his choice. Hide out in the bedroom until his clothes were dry? Derek rejected that option immediately. He might be down but he wasn’t out. And Mickie, he had to check on Mickie. He gave a tug on the belt to make sure it was secure and headed for the kitchen.

  Rachel was standing by the counter when he strutted into the room looking like a peacock who’d overdosed on Pepto-Bismol.

  He held up a hand when her lips twitched. “No jokes, please.”

  “But you look so pretty in pink.” Even though she smiled, her eyes remained wary. Gracious to the end. Love for her rose up from the deepest recesses of his heart and spilled over. “How’s Mickie?”

  “She’s been cleaned up, had a dose of Tylenol and is now asleep,” Rachel said.

  “What do you think is wrong? Stomach flu? Food poisoning? Has her fever dropped?”

  “Stomach virus,” Rachel said. “You don’t get a fever with food poisoning. And yes, thankfully, her temp is going do
wn.”

  “She’s lucky to have you.” Derek wondered how he’d do, being both mother and father to Mickie. Better than a group home, he told himself. Better than someone like her aunt and uncle.

  “It’ll be another thirty minutes until your clothes are dry.” Rachel gestured to the casserole she’d just pulled out of the oven. “I’m not sure if I should mention food after what you’ve just gone through but…would you like some breakfast? Or at least coffee?”

  Though her words were conversational and pleasant, an underlying tension filled the room.

  My fault, he reminded himself. Not hers.

  “Actually I am hungry,” he said.

  A relieved smile was his reward. She dished up the food while he poured the coffee.

  But once at the table, awkwardness settled over them like a shroud. They ate in silence. Finally Derek had had enough. He had some apologizing to do. And there was no reason to put it off any longer. He placed his napkin on the table and pushed his plate aside. “We need to talk.”

  “I agree.” Her voice was calm, almost matter-of-fact. But when her napkin joined his on the table, he noticed her fingers were trembling.

  Her very bare fingers. Where was Tom’s ring?

  Derek’s heart rose to his throat. He pushed back his chair and stood. “I know you’re probably upset with me after how I acted, but can we start with a hug?”

  “I’ll always take a hug from you.”

  When she came into his arms, he pretended not to notice the tears in her eyes. She was warm and soft and the intoxicating scent of vanilla was oh so familiar. He pulled her close and his own eyes filled with moisture.

  How can I let her go?

  He tightened his hold around her.

  “I wish we didn’t have to sit down.” She laid her head against his chest. “I wish we could stand here like this and talk.”

  “We’re making the rules.” Derek swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Nothing says we can’t.”

  Nothing except he was finding it incredibly hard to keep his emotions under control. He felt raw, vulnerable. He had to apologize. Before he found his voice, Rachel began to talk.

  “For seven years I loved Tom with my whole heart. Only Tom. I never thought that I could love anyone that much again.” She cleared her throat. “Then I met you.”

  Derek’s heart stopped for a second before resuming an unsteady rhythm.

  “I convinced myself that you and I were just friends.” Her voice grew stronger with each word. “But I can’t lie to myself any longer. I love you, Derek.”

  Some of the tightness left his shoulders at the declaration. But how much? That was still the question….

  “My love for you is different than my love for Tom had been, more mature. Deeper on so many levels.” She hesitated, then met his gaze. “I truly believe you are my soul mate.”

  Derek had pitched a no-hitter against the Yankees. At the time he’d been convinced that nothing could top the high he’d experienced when that game ended. He’d been wrong. This moment defied all description.

  She swallowed hard. “I’ll go with you to Los Angeles.”

  “No,” he said. “I was wrong to ask—”

  “When I was getting Mickie in her pajamas, I saw one of the pictures I took the day we went skiing,” she continued. “You and Mickie are my life now. My loyalty is to the living. Tom’s parents can represent him at the ceremony.”

  But as much as he wanted her there with him, her generosity of spirit prompted Derek to dig deep into his own soul and find out just how much he loved Rachel.

  “I can’t let you do that.” The rightness of his decision washed over him. “Your husband was a hero. You need to be there.”

  Her brows pulled together. “But I want to be with you at your ceremony.”

  “They’ll be other awards,” he said. “If it’s okay, I’d like to be at your side when Tom is honored.”

  “You’d do that? You’d miss your own banquet?”

  “I owe the man.” He cupped her face gently with his hand. “Tom loved and cared for you all those years before I met you. He kept you safe and happy.”

  Rachel’s eyes grew large. “Oh, Derek, I don’t know what to say.”

  “That’s not all.” Derek had planned to wait but he couldn’t hold back any longer. “I want to build a life with you, Rachel. Raise a family—”

  She covered his mouth with her fingers. Her gaze searched his. He saw the hesitation, the fear. “Before you say anything else, you need to know that Tom and I went through several years of infertility treatments before I finally got pregnant. They never discovered the problem, so it’s a very real possibility that I’ll never be able to conceive.”

  “And that’s important…why?”

  “Because you want a family and children of your own.”

  “No, I want children. That doesn’t mean you have to give birth to them,” Derek said. “We can adopt or take in foster kids. In fact, I called Mickie’s social worker the other day and left a message. I told her I wanted to adopt Mickie.”

  “I left her the same message.”

  “You did? I thought you didn’t think you could manage a child alone with your schedule?”

  “I told myself love would find a way. I couldn’t let her go, Derek. She’s my daughter.”

  “She’s my daughter, too.”

  Her gaze locked with his. In that moment, everything between them settled into something eternal.

  “Our daughter. Our child.” The joy in Rachel’s eyes told him it was time.

  “I have something to ask you.” Reluctantly Derek stepped from her arms. “Wait here.”

  He went back into the living room in search of his coat. He stopped when he saw her wedding ring sitting on the ledge by Tom’s picture.

  Smiling, he rummaged through his pockets and returned several seconds later, a little box clutched in his fingers.

  He’d never imagined proposing in a fuzzy pink bathrobe, but then from the second he’d gotten hit on the head by a curveball, nothing had gone as he’d planned. All the challenges, all the strange twists had brought him to this point with Rachel. Derek took her hand and dropped to one knee.

  “You bring a joy, a completeness to my life that is beyond what I could ever imagine. I love you, Rachel. All I want for Christmas, all I’ll ever want for the rest of my life, is you by my side.” Derek flipped open the box and the large emerald-cut diamond sent rays of colored light scattering. “Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

  Tears slipped down her cheeks. For a second Derek felt a pang of fear. Then he saw the love shining in her eyes and the panic fled.

  She held out her hand and he looked pointedly at her bare finger.

  Her cheeks pinked. “I took Tom’s ring off. It was time.”

  Any lingering remnants of doubt about his place in her heart disappeared forever.

  “There are probably some memorable words I should say now, but the only one that comes to mind is yes.” Her eyes glittered like sapphires in the light. “Yes, I love you. Yes, I’ll marry you. And yes, I promise you’ll never have to wear a pink robe ever again.”

  Derek laughed with relief and sheer joy. Then he slid the ring on her finger and they went together, arm in arm, to wake up Mickie.

  Epilogue

  Although it was only February, all signs pointed to spring at the Wildwoods Mountain Resort in Jackson Hole. Outside, the sky was clear blue and the sun shone brightly. Inside, red, yellow and white tulips, symbols of true and everlasting love, filled the great hall.

  Rachel had envisioned her wedding as a small, intimate affair witnessed by close family and friends. But then her coworkers at the hospital had asked if they could come. And Derek’s large extended family had made plans to attend. The ones who surprised her most were Tom’s parents. At the ceremony honoring their son, they’d told her they’d be back to witness her walk down the aisle.

  When they’d all gone out for dinner in January
, Rachel discovered Tom’s dad was a huge baseball fan. He and Derek had hit it off immediately.

  The final addition to their guest list had been an even more pleasant one. At the last minute Lexi and Nick had decided to stay in Wyoming through the summer, allowing them to be part of the wedding party and sending Mickie over the moon with happiness.

  Mickie followed as Addie twirled her way across the room. Addie was her very best friend in the world.

  They’d been charged with keeping Fred out of trouble at the reception. When the bloodhound stopped by a table and sat down, Addie quit twirling and they decided to get some food.

  Mickie glanced around the room, finally spotting her new parents by the stone fireplace. Her dad looked every bit as handsome as Ken in his black tuxedo, and her mom’s wedding dress made her look like a fairy princess.

  While Mickie watched, her dad began kissing her mom, which didn’t surprise Mickie at all. He’d been doing that a lot lately. Lots more than Ken ever kissed Barbie. “We did it,” Mickie said, expelling a happy sigh. “They’re really and truly married.”

  “Puking was an excellent idea,” Addie said in an admiring tone around a mouth filled with cake.

  Mickie popped a butter mint shaped like a flower into her mouth. She saw no need to inform Addie that she’d been so sick on Christmas Day that she barely remembered what had happened. All she knew was that when she finally felt better, there was a new shiny ring on Rachel’s finger.

  “Did I tell you my mom is having a baby?” Addie swiped off a big hunk of frosting from her cake with her finger, then put the plate with the cake next to Fred.

  “No way.” Mickie almost choked on her mint. “My mom is having one, too.”

  Mickie had been surprised but pleased when her parents had told her the news yesterday.

  “Your baby will be friends with my baby,” Addie said with a decisive nod. “Best friends. Just like you and me.”

  “My mom says we’re going to build a house close to yours with room for lots of babies and some bigger kids like me,” Mickie said. Like Addie’s family, they’d live only part of the year in Jackson Hole. Mickie wasn’t sure what California was like, but she didn’t care where her home was as long as she was with her family. But she couldn’t help being glad she’d still get to see Addie.