She searched her memory but couldn’t remember reading about them in the newspaper. “No. What do you mean by gang?”
“The hacienda was in trouble before my grandfather was murdered. There were rustlers, hired by ranchers in the area, taking our cattle and selling them across the border. I, along with some of our hands, went and took them back. Pretty soon we were being hired by other small ranches for protection, and the lines began to get blurred. Then Derringer entered the picture and I’ve spent the past few years looking for him. We’ve made enemies and sometimes we’ve had to kill those enemies. Sometimes self-defense looks a lot like murder.”
At some point her heart had begun to pound so hard against her ribs she thought it might actually try to force its way out of her chest. He was telling her he was a bad man, but what she had seen with her own eyes was completely different. “I don’t believe you’re bad.”
“Carolina, I’m telling you I’m a very bad, very dangerous man. It’s the truth.”
She touched his cheek to keep her connected to him. No matter what he said, he was the same man who had been so tender with her. Though she couldn’t see them now, every time she looked into his eyes, she saw an honest man. “I believe that you think that. But I only know what I see with my own eyes. You aren’t a bad person, Castillo. You’re kind and brave and honorable.”
He sighed, and she sensed even more of the tension leave his body. “None of that will save you from the bad things that I’ve done. I can’t bring you into my life. It’s too dangerous.” He brushed a strand of hair back from her cheek and tilted her head up a little. “If you’re connected to me, Derringer could find you and use you against me. I can’t allow that to happen.”
“It’s too late for that. I’m already connected to you.” Whether anyone else knew it, she was connected to him far more deeply than she’d ever realized was possible. When he hurt, she hurt. It was why she’d opened her mouth to protect him without even thinking through the consequences.
He groaned and slanted his mouth over hers, driving his tongue into her mouth in a kiss of possession that left her breathless. Careful of his wound, she curled her arms around his shoulders and pressed closer to him. Already his body was so familiar to her, a safe place where she felt protected and loved. When he pulled back, they were both breathing hard, his hand warm on her hip, while the fingers of his other hand wrapped lightly around the nape of her neck.
Finally, he spoke. “You’re right. You’re already connected to me, and it’s too late to change that.” Taking a deep breath, he added, “Then I suppose you need to decide what you want to happen now.”
She was too dazed from his kiss to think clearly. “What do you mean?”
“We have two options.” He waited for her to meet his gaze before continuing, and his fingers tightened on her a little. “We walk in there and tell your parents we’re getting married, or you leave here a compromised woman.”
Her mouth dropped open in a silent gasp. “Married?”
Castillo nodded, and the pad of his thumb ran over her bottom lip. “Yes. The way I see it when the guests leave here they’ll take their gossip with them and our names will be connected whether we want them to be or not. Derringer could hear about it and come for you. At least with my name—the Jameson name—I hope you can be protected.”
Oh. She didn’t know why, but her heart fell a little. Their marriage would be for her protection and nothing more. He must have seen her hesitation, because he hurried to continue.
“I’ll make certain nothing stands in the way of your going to school.”
She nodded.
“Do you think your parents will approve of me?” he asked.
She remembered his uncertainty that first night in her room, and it nearly broke her heart. “My father likes you, Castillo.”
He caught her omission and prompted, “And your mother?”
“She likes you, too, but she’s a traditionalist. And you’re a Jameson.”
“And foreign?”
She smiled. “You’re not foreign, but you’re not Boston society.”
He nodded. “If your parents object, I have money for tuition. Tanner bought a silver mine in my name. I used some of the profits to pay for Miguel’s tuition, and I would gladly use it for you.”
She nodded and looked down, but he gently tipped her face back up with his fingers on her chin. “Carolina?”
“So it would be a marriage of convenience...as they say?” She tried to smile but was certain whatever she’d mustered fell far short.
“If that’s what they name it.” He nodded. “I just want you to know that you’re taken care of.”
She didn’t know why she was hesitating. It was the perfect solution to her problems and she was already half in love with him. Pain twisted her heart and she had to admit the truth. No. She was in love with him all the way. That was why she hesitated. Could she stand to have him—but not have all of him?
Chapter Eighteen
The wedding took place two days later.
No one had been more surprised than Castillo when he’d offered to marry her. In that startling moment of clarity, he’d realized that the only way to really keep her safe—from scandal and her family interfering in her education—was to keep her under his protection. The meeting with her parents had been very brief and to the point. Her parents had agreed to the marriage as an inevitable consequence of her admission, but they weren’t happy about it. Castillo suspected her mother wanted someone more socially acceptable, but her father seemed content as soon as Castillo had voiced his opinion about Carolina’s education.
Hunter and Emmy had offered a double wedding, but Castillo had refused. He told them that he didn’t want to take away from their ceremony. The truth was, he wanted Carolina all to himself. Despite the fact that his marriage to her was supposed to be little more than an arrangement, he’d wanted the moment they took their vows to be for her alone and not shared with another couple.
He’d barely seen her since the night in Tanner’s study. Hunter’s wedding had been the day before, and Caroline had sat with her parents while Castillo had stood at his brother’s side. Then he’d had to go back out and ride the property, ever vigilant to the possibility that Derringer could make an appearance. The few times he’d made eye contact with her, she’d smiled but looked away as if unsure of herself.
Today they’d ridden to town separately. She was in the carriage with her parents while he rode with his men guarding the carriage, just in case. They’d gone straight to the office of the justice of the peace with their families.
Minutes after arriving, Castillo was sliding his mother’s ring onto her finger. The room was silent after he’d voiced his vows. Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, he stared into her eyes, hoping that she knew that he meant them. He would love her and honor her even though he still hadn’t the slightest idea how to actually be with her. He searched her eyes for some hint of regret or sorrow—this couldn’t possibly be the wedding she’d imagined for herself—but all he saw was hope and an emotion he couldn’t identify shining out at him. Part of him wanted to call it love, but—
“I now pronounce you man and wife.” The words penetrated Castillo’s thoughts, bringing with them a well of emotion that swelled in his chest and made it ache.
Carolina smiled up at him. Shyness and nervousness was evident in that smile, but she wasn’t uncertain. She tightened her hold on his hand until her father shoved in between them to shake his hand. She stepped back out of the way, but her gaze didn’t leave Castillo’s until her aunt pulled her into an embrace, blocking her view of him. Castillo mumbled words to Hunter, Zane, Tanner and her father, but he couldn’t stop looking at her. He couldn’t believe that she was his—that this amazing woman had agreed to become his wife.
Wife. He knew he shouldn’t get too attached
to the word because this was only a marriage of convenience, but he liked it. He liked it a lot.
They were back on the boardwalk outside the JP’s office in the late afternoon sun a few minutes later. Castillo found he didn’t quite know what to say to her and suspected that she felt the same. Instead of speaking, he offered her his arm and they followed their families to the Baroness. Tanner had booked rooms for the group since Carolina and her family would leave for Boston the next morning.
They had a meal together in the hotel’s dining room. Tanner ordered champagne and made a big fuss about toasts and the importance of families, and for a brief moment Castillo found himself believing him. If he forgot the past and the future, he could believe that Carolina was his wife in every way.
Caught up in the moment, Hunter swigged his champagne and pulled Emmy in for a kiss, and everyone laughed. Their joy and obvious love for each other was easy to see. Castillo laughed, too, and for the first time didn’t feel that pang of envy. When he glanced at Carolina she was smiling, but she’d been watching him. Her gaze dipped down to his mouth and a spark of heat leaped between them. He wanted to pull her into his arms, but he didn’t know if that was what she wanted.
When the meal came to an end, Tanner not-so-subtly suggested they retire for the evening. Castillo agreed because he was greedy to spend time alone with her before she left, no matter what the night would bring. Minutes later, Castillo pushed the door of their suite open and followed her inside. She was beautiful in a cream dress that hugged her figure and flared out softly in the back. Its skirt was pulled up to reveal a matching underskirt that swished past her ankles. Her back was straight and her shoulders squared, as if she, too, was suddenly uncertain and doing everything she could to hold that uncertainty at bay. She looked feminine and strong.
This was the first time they’d been alone since his proposal in the hallway and he didn’t quite know what to say to her. She was his wife. The weight of that settled over him again, but it wasn’t suffocating. It was warm and strangely comforting. He tried not to examine it too much. After all, this wasn’t real. His life was finding Derringer, and then his life would be at the hacienda. Hers was in Boston, somewhere there was no place for him. They hadn’t spoken of what would happen after she graduated, but he had no right to expect her to come live with him.
Her trunk had been delivered earlier and she walked over to it as if to change her clothes, but stopped once she reached it; uncertainty had crept in.
“I’ll give you some time alone,” he said awkwardly, walking into the connected washroom and closing the door behind him. The room was small, but serviceable, in gleaming white tile. It was hot, so he shrugged out of his coat and waistcoat, and hung them on the hook on the back of the door. As soon as he did, the weight he hadn’t realized he’d been carrying around left him and he leaned his palms on the cool porcelain of the sink. This marriage felt real. Staring at his reflection in the small shaving mirror, he saw that his eyes were wide and unsure. He’d stared down men holding him at gunpoint, but this woman who was now his wife scared him.
His wife. Something tightened deep in his gut as a vivid memory of her spread out on her bed flashed behind his eyes. He could have her now, because she was his. His stomach dipped at the thought of the night ahead. Should he have offered her a room of her own? Mierda. Turning the knob of the faucet, he splashed cold water on his face. He had no right to expect anything to happen, and he didn’t. He should’ve asked her if she wanted her own room. Grabbing a towel from the stand, he dried his face and turned to go back to her. He’d tell her she could stay and he’d go find another room.
Grabbing his clothes from the hook, he slung them over his arm and opened the door. She sat on the velvet upholstered bench under the window, staring down at the ring he’d given her. He paused to admire her, his gaze lingering on the delicate slope of her neck, but she looked up and caught him. The soft light of dusk painted her in a warm glow. She still wore the simple but beautiful cream dress she’d said had come from Emmy.
“I didn’t expect anything like this.” She smiled, holding up her hand so he could see the ring. “It’s too much.”
It was a delicate gold band with a ruby surrounded by small diamonds. “My grandfather gave that to my grandmother on their wedding day nearly fifty years ago, and then it became my mother’s. Now it’s yours.” He’d carried it around since his mother died, with the expectation that one day he’d find a woman to give it to. But with everything that had happened with his grandfather, he’d begun to doubt that day would come.
“Oh.” She turned her hand around so she could look at it again. “I didn’t expect to get anything so precious from you. I hope you don’t feel obligated—”
“It’s not obligation, mi corazón. I want you to have it.” He walked toward her, dropping his coat and waistcoat on the foot of the bed as he passed by. Coming to a stop before her, he dropped down on his haunches and took her hand. The ring looked perfect on her finger, and he couldn’t help the pride that welled up within him when he saw it. “It’s beautiful on you.”
“I’ll treasure it.” She gave him a shy smile and closed her fingers around his. “But... I want you to know that...” Her gaze skittered off to the side and she took a breath. “If you want it back some day, I’ll understand.”
Her words hit him like a knife in the chest, reminding him anew that this was just an arrangement. They’d spoken the vows, but they hadn’t meant for them to be real. He rose to his feet, but she didn’t release his hand. His leather satchel with a change of clothes sat next to her trunk, mocking him. “I wasn’t thinking clearly when we checked in downstairs, but the room is yours. I can go and see if they have another room.”
“No, Castillo, that’s not what I meant.” She tightened her grip on his hand. “Forgive me, I don’t know the rules. I only meant that if...” She laughed, releasing the tension that held her back rigid. “I don’t know what I mean. I’m nervous.”
Something about her anxiety relaxed him. Brushing a strand of golden hair from her cheek, he smiled back at her. “You don’t want your own room?” But he knew the answer without her even saying it. She sobered and her eyes darkened as her gaze dropped to his mouth.
His entire body tightened in response, heat prickled down his spine.
“No, I don’t want my own room.” She licked her lips and her gaze flicked to the bed and back. “I’d hoped that since we’re married now you’d want to...”
Desire flared to life inside him, fierce and raw and undeniable. His blood thickened and rushed downward, tightening his trousers. Still, he stopped himself from touching her because he had to ask, “Are you certain?”
“Yes.” Her eyes were so vivid and earnest they pierced his soul. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my entire life.”
His heart slammed against his rib cage as he leaned forward and finally took her mouth the way he’d wanted to ever since she’d said “I do.” Cupping her face in his hands, he tasted her sweetness, drawing a tiny moan from her lips when he pulled away to look at her. She was so beautiful, so sweet, so strong and perfect he could hardly believe she was his. He ignored the little voice in his head reminding him that she wasn’t really his, that he hurt everyone close to him, and kissed her again. Now that he knew he could take her, that nothing was stopping him from being inside her, he couldn’t stop kissing her.
His mouth drank from hers as his fingers went for the tiny buttons on the back of her dress. She flattened herself against his front, her palm moving down to find him hard and throbbing in his trousers. A groan escaped him before he could call it back. She squeezed him, moving her fingers along his length from root to tip. He remembered the last time she’d touched him and the innocently wicked things she’d said to him as she’d explored.
One night wouldn’t be enough. He dragged his mouth from hers only so he could turn her a
round and attack the damn row of buttons. With each one he unfastened, he placed a kiss on the bare skin he revealed until her undergarments obstructed him. Finally, he pulled the bodice down her shoulders and she shrugged her arms out of it, pushing it over her hips. His fingers shook as he unlaced her corset. He’d never wanted a woman this much before, and it had nothing to do with the fact that she was innocent or that he hadn’t had her yet. It was because this was his Carolina.
He was breathing like he’d just run a mile, but he forced himself to go slowly and pulled the laces with gentle strength, not the brute force he wanted to use. When he’d finished, she pulled it off and he grabbed her shift, pulling it over her head. She turned, her arms going up to cover her breasts, but he pulled her against his chest and her arms went around him instead. He could feel her hard nipples pressing into him through his shirt. His hands roved down the silken skin of her back and cupped her buttocks through the thin cotton of her drawers, squeezing her and pulling her toward him. His erection throbbed and he couldn’t resist grinding against her to ease the ache.
She gasped against his mouth, breaking the kiss, and he picked her up in his arms and walked over to the bed. Grabbing the edge of the counterpane, he pulled it back before dropping her onto the downy sheets. Toeing off his shoes, he shrugged out of his suspenders and unbuttoned his shirt. Her eyes were ravenous as she watched him, and he loved that she wanted to see him. His left arm still hurt, and she must’ve known, because she rose to her knees and helped him slip his shirt off his shoulders and tugged it free of his hands to toss it aside.
He couldn’t resist another kiss, dragging his tongue along her plump bottom lip. She surprised him by nipping at him and smiling when he pulled back. God, he loved her. She was such a contradiction, and she’d keep him guessing for the rest of his life, if they got that much time. His fingers went to the tie on her drawers, yanking it free before pushing the fabric down her hips, desperate to see her. A blush stained her cheeks pink, but she sat back and allowed him to pull them off her, and then she made quick work of her stockings.
A Marriage Deal with the Outlaw Page 20
