Castillo unfastened his pants but paused before pushing them down. Making his way to his satchel, he rummaged for the tin he’d brought. He hadn’t been certain that anything would happen tonight, but he’d hoped—he’d hoped—and he’d wanted to be prepared. Coming back to stand beside the bed, he dropped the tin on the nightstand beside her spectacles.
She saw it and her eyes widened in surprise. “You brought prophylactics?”
He nodded, a little unsure if her surprise was because she hadn’t expected him to bring them or because she didn’t want to use them. “I hope that’s okay. I know neither of us wants this to result in a child.”
She grinned and rose to her knees. “Thank you for thinking of that. I have some in my medical bag, too.”
Then he couldn’t think anymore because her palms were running over his chest and down over his flat stomach to the open fastening of his pants. He sucked in a breath when she reached in and gripped him. Her hand was so small and tight around him that his eyes nearly rolled back in his head from the pleasure. “Carolina,” he whispered.
“I think it’s time to open the tin.” Her voice was husky and soft as she stroked him.
“Are you certain? Are you ready?”
She nodded, and he yanked the lid off and grabbed one. She pushed his trousers down over his buttocks and her eyes widened as she saw him fully erect. Her fingertips trailed down his length almost reverently, making him shudder in pleasure. “I’ll go slowly,” he assured her.
She smiled at him, and though it was a shy smile, she moved back to lie against the pillows. “Hurry.”
He gritted his teeth against the need to have her and forced himself to look away from her as he rolled it down his length. Then he moved over her, fitting himself between her thighs. Catching himself to keep the bulk of his weight from her, he stroked her with his other hand. She was so hot and wet he could barely contain the tremor that moved through him. He pushed a finger inside her, gently stretching her before adding another. She moaned softly and rolled her hips, making his fingers move in and out of her. She felt ready, but he’d never taken a virgin before and wanted to make sure he didn’t hurt her any more than necessary. Leaning down, he took her nipple into his mouth, alternating between rolling it with his tongue and sucking it deep into his mouth.
When she yanked his hair and called his name again and again, he knew she was close. Moving over her, he held her knees wide and notched the head of his shaft at her slick opening. She stared up at him with heavy-lidded eyes and arched her hips up toward him. He pressed forward, moving deeper inch by excruciating inch so he wouldn’t hurt her, when all he wanted to do was sheath himself inside her. She groaned, a soft cry of pleasure deep in her throat that turned into something more intense when he hit the barrier of her innocence. His throat ached with an emotion he was too overwhelmed to examine. This amazing woman was his. An instinct both sacred and primal roared through his blood.
He fell over her, catching himself on his uninjured arm as he kissed her deeply and then trailed his lips across her cheek. When he reached her ear, he scraped his teeth against the soft lobe and whispered, “Are you ready for me, Carolina?”
“Yes.” It was a barely coherent gasp as she clutched him, her fingernails raking down his back. But he couldn’t hold back anymore and thrust forward, driving deep in one stroke. She cried out softly against his neck, and he stilled, holding her against him.
“I won’t move until you’re ready,” he assured her. He closed his eyes to fight against the pleasure of her body gripping him so tightly. She felt perfect beneath him. When he regained a little control, he reached between them to stroke her just above where they were joined. Soon she was shifting against him, anxious for more friction.
“Castillo,” she whispered against his ear.
Finally, he moved inside her. First in a gentle rhythm and then with deeper thrusts that had her writhing beneath him. She cried out when the first wave of her release came over her. Her fingernails bit into his back, but he welcomed the sting and held her tighter as he gave himself over to his own pleasure. Just moments later, he found his release within her.
* * *
Hours later the huge bed was littered with the remnants of a meal they’d ordered and fed each other, and she slept at his side. Castillo couldn’t remember ever enjoying a night the way he’d enjoyed this one. It wasn’t just the sex, though that had been better than any he could recall. It was the way she’d felt in his arms, like he was home. It was the way she’d smiled at him as she’d fed him a slice of apple, while telling him a story about sneaking into the kitchen as a child and eating two whole pies and making herself sick. Being with her was natural.
There were still hours until dawn, but he couldn’t stop looking at her. He didn’t want to sleep because he knew it’d be a long time before he saw her again. If he saw her again. The plan had been to part in the morning, and they’d thought no further. But how could he not see her again? How could he not have her in his life?
The thoughts bothered him, but he had no answers. Absently twirling a strand of her golden hair around his finger, he reasoned that he had plenty of time to sleep after she was gone.
She stirred, rolling forward so she lay on her tummy, and tucked herself against him. Pulling the blanket up over her back, he leaned forward and placed a kiss on her temple.
“You’re not sleeping,” she whispered without opening her eyes.
“I don’t want to miss anything.”
“Neither do I,” she replied, opening her eyes to look at him. Only a sliver of moonlight came through the window to light the room.
“Go back to sleep. You’re tired.”
She laughed and kissed his hand. “So are you. That was an excellent performance earlier.”
He couldn’t help but touch her and stroked a hand down her back to settle over one of the plump cheeks of her bottom. “Glad you approve.”
“Of course I approve. I’ve married an amazing lover.”
He laughed and kissed her nose, her mouth, her chin. He couldn’t stop kissing her. He loved her. The idea of waking up without her by his side was abhorrent, but it was also unavoidable.
Maybe it was the dark mood of his thoughts, but they drifted into silence, their hands clasped beneath the blanket. Finally, she broke the silence. “What will we do, Castillo? I don’t want to leave you tomorrow.”
“Boston is safer than here.” He took a deep breath and tucked his arm beneath her, pulling her onto his chest. “And you have school in September...”
“And you still have to find Derringer.” She finished the thought for him.
He nodded once and kissed her head. “I do.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment but he could practically hear her thoughts churning. “What about after you find him? What will you do then?”
“Go back to Texas and work on restoring the house. Miguel needs something to come home to.” The thought of his home didn’t evoke the same pride and conviction that it used to. He thought of it and he thought of a place cold and distant. A place she would never call home because she had much grander plans than to be the mistress in charge of feeding the small army of ranch hands they’d need when he got the place back to what it had been. He couldn’t blame her for that. With her talent and education, she’d be far more useful as a physician, but tonight he’d found himself hoping that things could be different.
“What...” Her fingers splayed over his heart, and she subtly rubbed her cheek against his chest. “What about after?”
He gave a grim smile though she couldn’t see it. “There is no after. Once the house is restored, I’ll need to get new cattle and new equipment, and work toward earning a profit.”
She took in a breath, but it was shaky, and he thought she might be fighting back tears. Tightening his arms around her,
he swallowed against the sudden ache in his throat. The future he described was bleak and gray. It was nothing without her in it.
“Do you think you might ever come and see me in Boston?”
The ache swelled, expanding into an unbearable pressure behind his eyes and deep in his chest. “I don’t know, Carolina. I can’t make any plans past finding Derringer.”
She nodded as if she understood, but he felt the warm wetness of her tears against his chest. Abruptly she sat up, surprising him by leaning over him. “I don’t know what will happen, but I want you to know that I love you. No, don’t say anything. Don’t tell me I shouldn’t. It’s too late for that.” She covered his mouth with her fingertips. “I love how brave and honorable you are. I love that you love your grandfather enough to sacrifice years of your life to this, but I hate that it’s keeping us apart.”
His heart swelled two sizes in his chest. Taking her hand in his, he sat up and settled her onto his lap and put his arms around her. “That’s not all that’s keeping us apart. I told you I’ve done bad things. Besides that, you belong in Boston and I belong out here. No matter how I wish that weren’t true, it is. We can’t change it.”
She stared at him as if it pained her. “But can’t we...if we really wanted to?”
Castillo closed his eyes against the pain he saw in hers. He loved her. He loved her with all his heart, which was why he knew that sending her away from him was the best thing to do. She had dreams in Boston. There was nothing for her out here, and the only thing for him in Boston was her. His dreams were in Texas. “I care for you, but our lives are too different, mi corazón. It wouldn’t work.”
“If you think that, then you couldn’t possibly love me the way I love you.”
Instead of answering, he drew her into his arms and held her. The problem was that he was very much afraid that he did love her that much. He loved her enough that he didn’t know how he was going to say goodbye to her in the morning. He loved her enough that he knew he had to.
Chapter Nineteen
Castillo woke her up the next morning with kisses and murmured love words in Spanish. She opened her eyes to his tousled head and smiling eyes.
“I need you again,” he mumbled against her neck as his fingers skimmed up and down her body.
She needed him, too, and held him against her. Caroline had laid her heart before him last night, and he’d not taken it. She refused to let the bitterness of that come between them. How could she be bitter about his refusal to give up his dream when she wasn’t able to give up hers? Maybe Aunt Prudie was right. Maybe this was the point where she had to have faith that it would work out. Somehow.
“I need you, too,” she whispered and savored his groan as he moved between her thighs.
Blindly, she reached for the tin on the bedside table and pulled out the last prophylactic. He rose up enough so that she could reach between them and help him slide it on, and then he fell over her. They made love gently and slowly. He lingered over her, careful of the tenderness of her untried body. Neither one of them were willing to deny themselves the pleasure of just one more time before she left. Once it was over, they held each other, barely speaking lest something break the spell of their love. Finally when it was time, they helped each other dress.
As they left the hotel and walked the few blocks to the train station, he slipped his hand into hers and gave it a squeeze. She smiled as the warm comfort of his presence filled in all the hollows in her body. Gazing up at his profile, she noted his strong jaw with the bit of scruff he hadn’t bothered to shave that morning. The memory of how it had rasped the skin of her breasts as he’d moved over her made her blush. It didn’t seem fair that this beautiful man was her husband and she’d only have the one night with him. It didn’t seem fair that he was hers, but not as much as she was his.
He felt her watching and looked down at her, giving her a half smile. “You know, I’ve been thinking.” His boots thudded on the wooden planks of the boardwalk with each step. She thought she’d remember the cadence of his step for as long as she lived.
“About what?” she asked when he paused.
“I spent so much time worried about your virginity...and here we are, married with a proper deflowering on our wedding night.” The smile stayed intact while his heavy gaze raked down to her lips.
She knew she was blushing at his crude words even as they pulled a laugh from her. She couldn’t seem to stop blushing around him. “Maybe next time you’ll listen to me,” she quipped.
He threw back his head and laughed. When his eyes met hers again, they were filled with so much emotion that a lump welled in her throat. The train’s sharp whistle cut through the air with the quarter-hour warning. The hotel had sent her trunk ahead hours ago, but only now did leaving feel real to her. She hadn’t even realized they’d come to a stop on the boardwalk until his fingertips touched her face and ran across her bottom lip. His touch was heated, awakening all the nerve endings that had been slumbering, sated from their night together.
“Oh, Carolina,” he whispered, his eyes heavy lidded and dark.
Someone jostled past them, prompting him to take her arm and lead her to an abandoned storefront, set into the corner of the brick building. They were only a block from the station now, where her parents and Aunt Prudie were probably waiting for her. Pushing her back against the paper-covered glass window, he kissed her. It was a proper goodbye kiss filled with passion and longing, a tender reminder of how they’d passed their wedding night.
“Come with me,” she whispered when they broke apart to catch their breaths. “We have the money my father settled on me. We can find a little house near the university.” She wasn’t certain Castillo had even read the paperwork he’d signed yesterday. Her father had settled a healthy amount of money on them with their marriage. It wouldn’t last indefinitely, but it’d be enough to last them for a few years. She pressed her hands against his chest, trying her best to memorize how he felt against her. The memories would have to last.
“I cannot.” His voice was low and he’d closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against hers. “My life is here, and your life will be better without me in it.” When he opened his eyes, she saw that he truly thought that.
Despite her resolve to not allow bitterness to overtake the morning, a shard of anger tore through her. “You’re too stubborn to see how things could be so much better for us.”
“I’m not stubborn, Carolina.” He kept his voice calm and stroked her cheek. “I’m realistic.”
The sting of tears prickled the backs of her eyes, but she refused to give in to them. They were little more than self-pity. The simple truth was that he didn’t love her as much as she loved him. She shoved him away, intent on making her way to the train station alone. Better to get used to being without him now.
Before she’d gotten two steps past him, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her around so she fell into his chest, and he supported her with his back to the window, much the same as he had held her on the train. Only, this time, he was searching her face, looking for some answer when she didn’t even know the question. He whispered her name again and kissed her, gripping her face gently with his hands.
She didn’t see the man approach or sense his presence until it was too late.
* * *
Castillo opened his eyes to a world that had changed. Or maybe he was the one who’d changed. One moment he was holding Carolina in his arms and the next she’d been pulled away from him. He grabbed at her but was a second too late. Her eyes were wide with fear as she was whisked around the corner and into the alley, a large arm wrapped around her shoulders and pulling her away. He only got a glimpse of a dark shadow as she disappeared.
Pulling his gun from its holster, he bolted after her, rushing around the corner and into the alley. Derringer stood there, looking dirty and disheveled, his hai
r a bright beacon of white in the shadows, with her in his arms, the muzzle of his Colt .45 held against her temple. She gripped his forearm, her knuckles white as she tried to loosen his hold, but he only tightened his grip. Castillo’s blood ran cold. He’d faced down enemies before and always managed to find a cold focus as he did it. It allowed him to stay calm and measure the outcomes of his choices before he acted.
Not this time. This time he couldn’t see past the one outcome that scared the life out of him. Carolina’s lifeless body lying on the dirty ground. Just thinking of it made his fingers numb.
“Stop where you are, Reyes.” Derringer’s voice was cultured, calm despite the fact that they were in an alley holding guns.
Castillo stopped, but he took in their surroundings, looking for a place someone could hide. The alley was littered with debris, a broken chair, a forgotten weather-beaten sign advertising an apothecary leaning against the brick wall, but there was nothing large enough to hide a man. He couldn’t see the roof, though, so he figured that’d be the most likely spot for someone to be hiding, ready to unleash a hail of bullets. Derringer had probably been staked out all night waiting for his chance.
Damn, Castillo should’ve been more prepared instead of being so infatuated with his wife. He’d put her at risk because he couldn’t keep his hands off her. She would die in an alley because of him.
“Put the gun down nice and slow.” Derringer’s tone was that of a man meeting a long-lost friend in a saloon. It didn’t seem right. Something about this was very, very wrong.
“I can’t do that, Buck. You need to let her go.” Castillo gauged the distance between them to be about nine feet, give or take. He’d be able to reach Derringer quickly, but not before the man had a chance to pull the trigger.
“Put that gun down or I’ll shoot her right now.”
A Marriage Deal with the Outlaw Page 21
