Dignity ~ Jay Crownover

by Crownover, Jay

  His eyes looked tired but they were only for me. His scruff had taken over the lower half of his handsome face, highlighting his fierce frown. His eyebrows were knitted in a scowl that would scare the bravest of men, and when he said my name it made the junkie jolt, the battered mom jump, the teenaged boy cower, and the pastor stiffen. That low rumble had me melting, and once again, I couldn’t hold back tears. Before a choking sob could find its way out, his strong arms were wrapped around me not feeling anything like the old, mechanical parts that were inked across the surface. He was all man . . . my man. I was never running from him or the haven of those heavy arms again.

  He tucked my head under his chin and squeezed me tight enough that I squeaked in protest.

  “I know I fucked up the first time you gave me your trust, but I’ve done everything I can think of to prove you that I won’t let anything happen to you, Noe. I will keep you safe. Trust me.”

  I wrapped my arms around his waist and snuggled into his chest. I buried my nose into the spot where that hard heart lived. It wasn’t nearly as impenetrable as he wanted me to believe. “I do know that . . . I just forgot for a second. I wasn’t thinking clearly.” I leaned back so I could look into those storm-colored eyes. “The truth is I might forget again. It was a knee-jerk reaction. I regretted it as soon as I had room to breathe. I’ve been running a long time, Snowden. It’s all I know.”

  He lifted a hand so he could tuck a loose piece of hair that escaped my hat behind my ear. “You slowed down so I could catch you, though, and that tells me something.”

  I let out a sloppy laugh and nodded weakly. “I guess I did. Ummm . . . how exactly did you know where to catch me?”

  He took a step back, but kept one of my hands clasped in his. He bent and picked up my backpack and held it out in front of me. “You left your computer unattended more than once. I figured you knew I would install tracking software.”

  Of course he had. If I could think beyond the terror that had me in a stranglehold at the mention of Aaron’s name, I would have taken inventory of everything he’d been around and could use to track me. It would have killed me to let go of the only thing I had to remember him by, but I would have ditched the laptop in the heat of the moment if I’d been thinking clearly. I was glad I hadn’t been. I was weak-kneed with relief that he hadn’t let me go without a fight.

  His pointed gaze flicked around our audience and his lips started to quirk upwards. “You wanna get out of here?”

  I nodded quickly. “Yeah. Take me home, Stark.”

  He tugged on the hand he was holding and led me up the stairs he’d just stomped down. It was a cloudy, overcast day making the scenic little town look just as dreary and unwelcoming as the Point. I guess it was all about perspective. Yesterday, when I’d been motivated by the need to escape, this place seemed perfect. Today, now that my eyes were wide open, I couldn’t see a single thing that appealed to me. There was only one place that would ever be home, and only one man who would ever feel like he belonged to me.

  He had to give me a hand climbing into his huge truck. The vehicle was black on black on black and lifted up to the sky. It was slightly ridiculous for a guy who lived in the middle of a city but the big machine fit him, nonetheless. It would dwarf a smaller man, make me question his virility, but Stark took up a lot of space. It only made sense what he drove did as well.

  The rumble of the engine and the adrenaline crash from the day before had my head dropping and sleep pulling at me as we backtracked through the landscape that the train had traveled the previous day. I rested my head against the tinted passenger window and let myself drift off knowing I was in good hands. Hands I actually wanted holding and caring for me.

  Stark’s phone rang and I peeled my eyes open, noticing we were through the mountains and on the coast. The big sea cliffs were craggy and dramatic, offering a much more spectacular view of the water that bordered the Point. There were no docks and shipping containers here. There was no city that seemed bleak and hopeless hovering on the edge of the waves. The water here was bright blue, stretching out endlessly, and crashing romantically into the rocks. It was hard to believe it was all the same body of water, that this clean water by proximity to its inhabitants turned so dirty and grimy the closer it got to the Point.

  “What’s up, Titus?” The call echoed through the cab as the Bluetooth connection sent the cop’s voice through the truck.

  “Goddard pled guilty to the charges. He didn’t ask for another lawyer after you laid his first one out. I don’t know what you said to him in there, but good job kid.” I gasped when Titus complimented Stark for manipulating the legal system. I also blinked at the man sitting next to me when the deep voice continued, “The lawyer didn’t say shit about pressing charges for assault, even though you fucked him up. His nose was drifting to one side of his face and he was holding his side like he had some busted ribs. I don’t know if I should ask you for lessons in handling perps or put a detail on you to make sure you don’t compromise anymore of my cases.”

  I must have made a noise because Stark’s head cocked to the side and his eyebrows lifted. Wordlessly, he pulled the big truck off to the side of the road, the front wheels pointing toward a sheer drop off.

  “My methods won’t work for you, cop. You’re one of the good guys.” He was watching me closely because I was suddenly wide awake. He’d taken on Aaron for me. He’d hurt him, just like I’d dreamed of doing for so long. He’d not only refused to let me go without a fight, he had taken on my fight as his own. It was hands down the nicest and most unforgettable thing anyone had ever done for me. I struggled to get my seatbelt off while pulling my beanie off my head and crawling out of my hoodie. I needed to be as close to him as I could get and I didn’t need any extra clothes getting in the way.

  “You can be one of the good guys too, Stark. You already are when it’s convenient for you.” The cop sounded chiding and slightly put out. He wasn’t wrong. My guy had all the makings of a hero, he just needed to decide if he wanted to save the world or not.

  “I’m one of the bad guys when it’s convenient too, King. I can go either way depending on the situation. You should toss a kidnapping and unlawful imprisonment charge against Goddard since he’s being so agreeable.” He let out an oomph of sound as I crawled into his lap, my back to the steering wheel as his hands settled on my hips.

  “The DA had to agree to putting him in solitary for the duration of his sentence, but it was worth it to avoid a trial. He’ll never get out.” The cop sounded confident in his claim.

  “Good. He doesn’t deserve sunshine and fresh air. I gotta go, King. My hands are full at the moment.” He leaned over and pressed the face of the display ending the call. His gaze locked on mine. “Even if they put him in solitary, there are still ways to get to him. Lockup is almost as brutal as the streets, and guys like Goddard don’t stand a chance behind bars.”

  I put my hands on his cheeks, palms rubbing against the brush of his dark stubble. He was beautiful, conniving, and even if he didn’t want to save the world, he had saved me. That was more than enough. It was more than I’d ever had.

  “You went after Aaron.” There was no hiding the relief and hint of awe that colored my tone.

  “Of course I did. That’s why I didn’t get to you last night. He doesn’t get any part of you ever again.” His hands slid up to my ribs, taking my t-shirt with them.

  I nodded slowly. “You’re right, he doesn’t, because you have all of me. You already had all of me even before I knew you kicked Aaron’s ass.” I leaned forward and rested my forehead against his, careful not to smash his glasses into his face. “I don’t have much Snowden, but I want to give all of it to you.”

  He exhaled a breath and I parted my lips so I could taste it. “I’ve never wanted much Noe, just someone who understands me, someone who doesn’t want me to be anything other than who I am. All I want is you.”

  His words, along with the rough press of his hands as he pulle
d my shirt the rest of the way off, made me shiver. His eyes burned with silver fire as they landed on the soft swell of my breasts underneath my plain cotton bra. I was never going to be a lace and satin kind of gal, but he didn’t seem to mind. I would take every complicated, difficult inch of him, and I loved that he appreciated every delicate and hard part of me. I wasn’t about to change him, and one of the big reasons I decided to stop running was because he didn’t see anything about me he wanted to alter.

  His rough fingertips danced over my spine as he tickled his way between my shoulder blades so he could unhook the clasp of my bra. I wiggled the straps down my arms and grabbed a fistful of his shirt. “Off.” I pulled on it until he leaned forward enough so that we could wrestle the fabric off over his head. I sighed at the sight of all that coiled strength and power waiting for me, wanting me. His glasses tilted to one side and I reached up to set them back where they belonged. I didn’t want him to miss any of what I was feeling shining out of my eyes and stamped all over my face as I leaned forward to kiss him. My chest pressed against his, my heart thumping against his in a fast, furious rhythm. His answered, racing to keep up.

  My fingers touched his pulse and fluttered down the column of his neck. It jumped at the caress and he took over the kiss. His thumbs rubbed the underside of each breast and his tongue twisted around mine. I was grateful for the donated toothpaste and toothbrush at the church this morning because there wasn’t a crevasse he didn’t taste and touch. He followed the lower curve of my breasts with his fingers until my nipples were trapped between them. They instantly pulled into tight points, happy with the rough contact.

  He pulled back and came at me from a different angle. His teeth tugged on my lower lip, matching the plucking motion of his fingers. I felt the pull between my legs, felt my body quicken and pulse in anticipation. Since I was sitting on top of him, I felt his body respond as well. His cock thickened and hardened behind his zipper and I rocked against the rigid length wantonly. I didn’t care that we were parked precariously on the side of the road. I didn’t care that both of us were sleep deprived and emotionally drained. I didn’t care that it was going to be quick with clothes shoved out of the way so we could get to the good stuff. All I wanted was to be close to him, to watch him as I gave myself to him, as he took me.

  I grappled with the button on his jeans, wrenching the denim open. I giggled, actually giggled, carefree and giddy, when he put a hand on my hip and lifted both of us up so that he could push the material out of the way along with his boxers. His cock rose up between us, wet at the tip, prominent vein throbbing along the underside. My fingers barely touched as I wrapped a hand around it and started to slide it slowly up and down. His eyelashes fluttered behind his glasses and his chest expanded as he sucked in a noisy breath. His hips shifted under me as I used my thumb to spread the moisture leaking out of the slit around the plump head. One of his hands cupped my chin as he positioned my face closer to his for a kiss. He bucked into my fist as I tightened my grip and squeezed the wide base.

  I nipped at his lower lip and pulled back so I could crawl off of his lap. His hands tightened to hold me in place but I shook my head and told him, “I want to taste you.”

  He swore and lifted me like I weighed nothing so I was back on my side of the truck. Immediately, I got on my knees and put a hand on his thigh for balance as I lowered my face toward all his enticing male flesh. I wrapped my hand back around the thick shaft, his skin hot enough to burn. My naked nipples dragged across the leather seats and the friction made my entire body vibrate.

  One of his hands threaded through the hair at the back of my head, holding on tight as my lips stretched to take him in. Snowden Stark was more than a mouthful. It took some work to swallow him down and to suck him off. My cheeks hollowed out as my tongue flicked along endless inches of hot, hard flesh. He scorched across my tongue and tapped the back of my throat. He tasted salty and earthy, all man. He guided my motions with a wide palm as my fist slid up to meet my lips. His ass arched up off the seat and he grunted as I traced that long, heavy line that ran up the underside of his steel shaft. I liked having him under my control, liked the way he felt filling my mouth. I wanted to take a bite out of him, so I used the edge of my teeth to tease the sensitive curve at the tip. I licked the slippery slit, and smiled when he barked my name in warning. For a second, I wished there wasn’t so much of him, that I didn’t need a hand to have all of him, because I could feel wetness gathering between my legs and that steady throb needed attention. I wanted to pull my fingers through that moisture and ease the ache, but if I did, I would fall on my face.

  I moaned around his hardness and couldn’t stop my hips from shimmying where they were propped up in the air. Stark muttered my name and a second later I felt his palm on the middle of my back. His fingers dipped into the little dimples at the base of my spine and then they slid under the waistband of my pants and stopped to cup my ass before disappearing into the soft valley between the twin globes. The unexpected caress had me sucking harder on his cock and forced my hand to tighten reflexively.

  He chuckled and I felt the low rumble all the way through my core. “Does swallowing my cock make you wet, Noe? Are you getting off on the thought of sucking me dry?” One of his fingers circled that hidden spot that was usually off limits, and I almost choked as I gasped and pulled more of him into my mouth. Tears wet my eyes and I had to remind myself to breathe through my nose as his touch moved deeper between my legs to find my slick center. His fingers trailed through the wet folds and he let out a satisfied sigh. “I love that sucking me gets you hot. I love how wet and ready you are.”

  God, that mouth of his.

  I had to let him go so I could pull in a breath. He made me lightheaded and dizzy.

  His fingers fondled the waiting entrance to my body and chills raced down my spine. I looked up at him from under my lashes and noticed his glasses and the truck windows were slightly fogged over. He had a red flush above his scruff and his eyes raged just as furiously as the water below us.

  My body fluttered around his fingers as I rocked into his touch. I was empty and he was the only thing that had ever filled up all those spaces. He was a weight that anchored me but never held me down.

  I sighed in relief and his fingers started to thrust in and out of my body. I pushed back against him and lowered my head so I could swirl my tongue around the head of his cock like he was the sweetest treat I’d ever tasted.

  His stiff length jumped in my hand and he grunted his pleasure as he added another finger. All of this was amazing and enough to make the big truck rock, but I needed more. I needed all of him filling up all of me.

  I used my hold on his leg to push myself into a sitting position. He scowled when the move forced his hands out of my pants, but he got an evil glint in his eye as he brought his slick, glistening fingers to his mouth and licked them clean. I shimmied out of my loose-fitting pants and practically threw myself at him when I was naked. He caught me around the waist and spread my legs around his hips, hands on my thighs, as he guided me over his erection.

  His lips landed on mine and I tasted my own pleasure. He sighed in satisfaction as our bodies lined up seamlessly. Mine open and hot with a burning need, his hard and heavy with anticipation. He pressed in slow and deep. I felt him drag along every nerve ending and across every sensitive place I had. I put my hands on either side of his neck and rubbed my nose along the curve of his cheek until I could nuzzle his ear. I bit down on the lobe and breathed out how good he made me feel.

  I could swear in the short time we’d been together he’d molded my body to fit him and only him. I could feel him deep inside of me but I wanted him even deeper. Our chests rubbed together, my nipples dragging over all that taut muscle and his pounding heart, and like the waves crashing into the rock we were perched on, my orgasm pressed in, threatening to sweep me away.

  His thumb traced my jaw and his eyes bored into mine as he told me, “When you run, I’m going to
chase you, Noe. Always.”

  It might have sounded like a threat, but I heard it as a promise. We needed each other. We understood each other. We could find happiness together and I never thought that was possible, but I saw it there, hidden in the storm of his eyes, and I was sure it was reflected back at him in mine.

  He kissed me again as his arms wrapped tightly around me. I laughed against his lips but it quickly turned into a gasp as his hips bucked upwards and he pulled me down tightly. My clit pressed against his pelvic bone and the rough sensation was enough to send me spiraling into delirious pleasure. I moaned his name and rocked into him, chasing my orgasm down and kissing every part of his face I could reach. His teeth bit into the curve of my neck where it met my shoulder. It wasn’t a nice bite. It stung, and it was going to leave a mark, but it made my pussy spasm and had a rush of wetness covering the heavy cock he was pounding into me.

  “Holy fuck, woman. You were made for me. I know it.” He tossed his head back against the seat of the truck and held me still as my body milked long, hot pulses of satisfaction from him.

  I fell forward, forehead hitting his sweaty throat as I told him, “I am the only one who knows how to fix that mechanical heart of yours.” I put my palm on the tattoo, pleased that his skin was damp and warm all over. As long as I had him, I would never let him be cold again.

  His reply was lost when a semi-truck came flying around the bend in the road, horn blaring to warn us that we had picked a less-than-perfect place to reconnect. He chuckled and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “Let’s get home.”