Hollow Sight

by Kristie Pierce

The two over grown boys start wrestling for a minute while I stand impatiently tapping my foot. Knowing that I’m about to see Liam is driving me crazy.

  “I’m heading in. You two can take that outside.” I say while I head toward the girls entrance. The women have to enter the pool going through a large room with showers and changing areas as do the men; you can meet on the other side of the little building opening to the large pool.

  When I get to the doorway that will take me outside to the pool, I hesitate. Before taking the last three steps that will take me out toward the awaiting pool, I have to work hard to slow my breathing that is now a little accelerated with the realization that I’m about to see Liam. Even with Ben in attendance I still don’t care. My day is about to get exceptionally better. But I’m sure this will be interesting, to say the least.

  I suck in a deep breath that I’ve meant to calm me and take the last few steps heading me into the bright sunlight.

  The pool is very crowded. There are several small children in the shallower end, splashing and giggling and screaming. There are four lifeguards on duty, all sitting on their designated perch’s overlooking the water looking bored as they swing whistles around in the air by their cords. Nope, there’s one that seems to be enjoying himself. He’s very animatedly shimmying his shoulders back and forth, singing and snapping to the song playing over the loud speakers. There doesn’t look to be any lounge chairs left, so I sweep my eyes over the large area of concrete surrounding the pool to see if I can find an open spot. After a few moments, I finally manage to glimpse a very small area of light-gray cement far from the entrance.

  I carefully weave in and out of people, trying to be cautious not to run into anyone and so that I won’t step on anybody. I keep my eyes to the ground, and when I approach the empty space of cement I pick up my pace for fear of losing the spot.

  I quickly shake out my large colorful towel and lay it across as much of the tiny area as I can manage. I toss my flip-flops down to another part of the empty space, and after disrobing I carefully fold my clothes to lie on top of them. Where are Ben and Axel? I can barely see the doorway leading to the men’s side, so I give up quickly when I have no other choice than to stand on my tiptoes to look over the extremely vast crowd.

  I decide to take inappropriate advantage of the moment of alone time to let my eyes search the sea of people for another reason. My towel rests close to the edge of the pool so I can sit casually on the ledge, letting my feet dangle in the water. I relax my arms behind my body so that I’m angled toward the bright sun, lying on my elbows. I try to look inconspicuous in my search when I remember the sunglasses resting on top of my head. I nonchalantly slide them down to shield my gazing eyes.

  My eyes sweep the water first. There are quite a few kids from school here today, but none of the groups have among them who I’m looking for. There are five gray-haired women across from where I lounge, mingling amongst themselves while they lightly bob up and down in the shallows. In the deeper end of the pool are young adolescent boys running and cart-wheeling off the diving boards. One of the bored lifeguards blows her whistle at them when they surface cautioning them not to run.

  My eyes then lay upon Chad Dawson and some of his friends sitting on white vinyl lounge chairs at the opposite end of the pool. That’s weird; the Dawson’s have a pool in their own backyard. Adam Perry from the soccer team is among the group and I also notice Jordan Kieslowski, Steven Wagoner, and Wyatt Huntley from the football team. But no Liam.

  “Man, is it packed!” Axel says when he’s within hearing distance.

  “I know. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen it this busy.” I reply.

  Ben comes into view then about ten yards away, and again, he’s checking out the girls. Does he even notice or care that I’m right here? If he wanted to come to the pool to ogle over hotties, then why did he even bother bringing me? It isn’t that I care that he’s looking because mentally I now consider Ben my ex-boyfriend. All the jealousy that I should be feeling is no longer an emotion I possess when it comes to him. It’s just the principle. Then I ask myself, how can I be mad when I was just looking for him?

  “He is such an asshat. Here you sit, and it’s like he doesn’t even care.” Axel says quietly.

  “Just taking in his surroundings, I guess.” I shrug my shoulders.

  “It’s rude, Breckin. I’m not sure why you’re even with him anymore. He’s a dick, he doesn’t deserve you. He’s lucky we’re in public, ‘cause I’d really like to beat his ass right now.”

  This surprises me coming from Axel. Especially with how he had reacted that night in the pizza parlor – when he’d noticed Liam looking at me. He had deliberately and awkwardly brought up Ben in the conversation and it was clear that he’d meant to.

  “You look confused,” he adds.

  I blink a couple of times, then answer, “I guess I am. Don’t you want me to be with him? I thought you liked him?”

  “I like him okay for football. He was really good and he took time out of his summer to work with me. But I don’t like how he treats you, Breckin. He’s got a huge attitude problem. In my opinion he’s changed over the summer. I can’t tell you what to do, though. You need to do what you think is best.”

  Why is the answer so obvious to everyone else? It’s been so hard for me to make the decision to end my relationship with Ben. Maybe I do obsess too much of how my decisions will affect other people. But I really don’t want to hurt him, no matter how much he annoys me. It will still be hard when I finally got my chance to tell Ben the truth. Well, sort of the truth. Of course I'll leave Liam out of it.

  I get tired of waiting for Ben to come and join us, so I slide into the pool. I leave my sunglasses on however – I still want to look around without being noticed. Axel spots Chad and his friends. He points to himself with one finger and then points to their group with another simultaneously, gesturing that he’s going to join them. I wave to signal that I’ve seen him and then spot Ben chatting with two blondes. The girls are juniors at school and they cheer with Amber and her gang of miscreants. I just shake my head to myself. I’m coming up empty in my search, so I consider that maybe Liam had let Chad borrow his car. It makes me feel a little disappointed to now know that I won’t see Liam today after all, so I decide to try and relax and enjoy my day without his beautiful face.

  I bounce over to where my towel is and toss my sunglasses up. I lean my body flat in the water to float on my back, allowing my entire body to submerge in the cool inviting water. I leave my face out of course so that I can breath and then close my eyes to soak in the sun. I can’t move around like I want to because the pool is extremely full with other people. The sound of children’s screams and adolescent splashing is muffled by the water engulfing my ears, and it makes it easier to relax. Ben won’t join me as long as his conversation holds with the blondes, and, too, because he doesn’t like to swim.

  I’m just getting comfortable when my relaxation is interrupted by a single fingertip lightly flitting down the length of my right arm. My eyes stay closed for just a second with the touch, but my entire body ignites as if it’s counting down to explode or combust. My skin actually feels warmer from the trail his finger has left. My eyes pop open but I have to squint through the sun to look at him, keeping one eye shut. I probably look like a poor excuse for a pirate. I can’t stop the smile now, though. My lips spread into an inviting grin very willingly.

  Liam has his body adjusted so that his face is right next to mine although the depth of the pool is shallower here. If he were to stand, the water would easily be to the line of his contoured abdomen. He must be balancing on his knees. His sandy hair is a darker brown from it being drenched with pool water and there are several droplets of water running down his face reminding me of the day he helped me pick up the remains of my bag as sweat trickled down his cheek. As I adjust myself, I plant my feet to the ground and notice that Liam has that strange look about his face again. The look of a need I don’t quite
understand, and underlying fear. He doesn’t say anything, but his crystal eyes mirroring the color of the pool around us show more emotion than if he were to speak aloud. His mouth is closed and soft, but I can see that he’s biting his bottom lip. To hide a smile? To keep from speaking? I don’t know.

  I turn so that I can be face to face with him. I think that I see him pulling his arms back as if he’d been getting ready to pull me into an embrace. I can only wish that to be true. He still doesn’t say anything, so I speak first.

  “Hi,” is all I can muster. I really need to work on my conversational skills. He smoothens his expression and smiles in return.

  “Breckin,” he nods.

  I suck in a raspy breath. My head suddenly fills with images of Liam whispering my name into my ear. This is the first time I’ve heard him say my name and I like it. No, I love it. The new found butterflies I seem to have become friends with fly around frantically in my stomach. I imagine what would happen if I gave in to the magnets that are now relentlessly quivering within my body and allowed him to pull me into an embrace. Will I be able to stop myself even with Ben here to witness? The chances of that are not good and he and I are closer to each other than we have ever been before. I unwillingly take a step back, hoping that he won’t misinterpret it. I’m not sure how much self-control I have at the moment.

  “I’m surprised to see you here. Don’t the Dawson’s have a pool?” I ask, trying to make some form of conversation.

  “They do,” is all he replies.

  “Okay…”

  “Who are you here with today?” he asks softly. It seems as though he’s trying to be casual, but there’s a menacing undercurrent to his tone.

  Uh-oh, I wasn’t planning on this conversation. My giddy smile fades and the butterflies suddenly feel like boulders in my gut. If he’d witnessed me walking in, he would’ve noticed then that I was by myself. If he had been watching, he would’ve seen Axel sitting with me before. But funnily enough, Ben hasn’t come into view once. Hmm.

  “Axel was with me, but he saw Chad and the others over there and went to join them,” I vaguely explain as I point to where they sit.

  “I see… so there isn’t anyone else here with you?” Liam says as he takes a step toward me. My unwilling step away from him before was a wasted effort. And for crying out loud, why does he have to pry? I desperately want the hazy answer I gave before to be true – to be able to say that Axel is the only person I’ve come with today.

  I swallow. “Er… no… not exactly.” I admit sheepishly.

  A slow but very deliberate and wicked smile spreads across Liam’s lips. The look on his face now is pure trouble. I can see there’s a mischievous side, and perhaps maybe even a dark side lying beneath that beautiful exterior. When he speaks again, his voice is deep and a little twisted.

  “Is Ben here with you?”

  “Mmm hmm.” I mumble after a little hesitation. I’m now a little scared all of the sudden. What is Liam up to?

  He suddenly whirls around scanning the full deck of people in the same area as my abandoned towel. He stops his short search at exactly the point where Ben is standing, flirting awkwardly with the blondes. How does he know what he looks like?

  “Is that him, there?” he says while very obviously pointing to Ben.

  My heart rate picks up more than it already has and it feels like my ribs are going to break with the pressure of holding my breath. I have to work to keep my voice calm.

  “Yeah. Why?”

  “I’d like to meet him, I think.”

  “What! Why?” I squeak, all calmness gone.

  But before Liam answers me, he’s already making his way through the water toward Ben. I dive under the water hoping that I can catch up to him with my swimming technique, weaving in and out of bodies of people and make it to him just as he’s pulling himself out of the water, not bothering to go to the ladder located two feet away. He plants both hands firmly on the dry cement next to the pool, and with one graceful move Liam heaves himself up to his feet. Water splashes off of him, hitting me in the face so my vision is impaired for a split second. When I manage to focus on him again, Liam has very deliberately placed himself in front of Ben – in between the two blondes – so that they’re only a foot apart.

  My eyes bug out of my head as I’m forced to watch.

  For a split second I compare the two boys standing in front of me. It’s hard not to with them both standing before me in the flesh. Liam is gloriously toned and undeniably beautiful. The muscles of his arms are fiercely tight and his hands are balled into fists by his side, making the tendons pop out from his forearms like rope or vine. His face is hard with unexplainable anger and I take in the contours of his jaw, his cheek bones. Ben stands with his newly acquired gut jutting out over his faded shorts and the sunlight bounces off of his light skin that’s already turning pink with sunburn. He stands with his thin lips hanging open – mouth breathing – making him look like a complete half-wit.

  “This is him, yes?” Liam says to me, glancing down briefly to my wide eyes. I nod slightly. “We haven’t met. My name is Liam Francis,” he says while holding his hand out in an invitation to shake Ben’s. His voice has an edge to it again as he sounds annoyed or impatient.

  Ben wrinkles his eyebrows together and hesitantly takes Liam’s proffered hand. “Um, Ben Valentine.”

  Liam drops Ben’s hand and then crosses his arms in front of his chest. His muscles bulge beneath the strain of his tension.

  “I’ve heard so much about you. It’s nice to finally put a name to a face.” Liam says dryly.

  Ben cocks his head to one side with confusion. Out of nowhere, Axel is standing next to him while Chad along with Adam, Wyatt, Jordan, and Steven were now standing behind Liam. I remain standing in the water looking up to the now larger group trying not to hyperventilate.

  “Do I know you from somewhere?” Ben asks Liam through narrowed eyes.

  “No, not at all. I told you that I’ve heard quite a bit about you and when I heard that you were here,” Liam pauses while glancing down to my frantic face once more and then returns his intolerant gaze back to Ben. “I just simply had to shake the hand of the luckiest chap I know.”

  My jaw falls open and the air whooshes out of my lungs. Forget hyperventilating, I need to breathe! Ben doesn’t seem to make the connection though – it goes straight over his head. I smile for a second in reaction to what Liam is saying, but I have to admit that I’m slightly confused as well. Where or who has Liam heard anything about Ben from?

  “Who’ve you heard anything about me from?” Ben asks, echoing my thoughts.

  “My friends here,” Liam replies while tipping his head back toward the silent boys standing behind him. “I’ve been asking about you. About what makes you so… interesting, so special.” His voice is like hot acid now. “But I can see for myself that there isn’t much special about you at all. Here you stand, thinking that you’re superior because a couple of little girls seem to be taking interest in you – the big college man. All the while your girlfriend spends her time alone, without you, and doesn’t say a word being from what I gather she just doesn’t want to hurt your feelings… or… she really doesn’t care that you’re supposed to be spending time with her, and that you instead choose to chat up these duffs.”

  “You don’t know anything about me… Liam, is it?” Ben retorts. It’s clear that he’s trying to sound as cutting as Liam had, but he doesn’t come close. His voice is shaky and cracks at the end.

  Liam’s voice still has an edge to it – a hard edge – and it for some reason makes me want him even more. Maybe the dark and bad boy side to Liam can be dangerous, someone that you wouldn’t want to pick a fight with. He’s still standing with his arms crossed in front of him, but his hands are now balled into fists against his ribs. It’s plain to me that he would be someone that could protect me if necessary. Is that what he’s doing now? Protecting me? But from what? I puzzle over this inside my head as I
stare at is hard jaw that’s clenched tight and his ice-cold gaze. Can he really be this angry over Ben talking to these girls? I find that hard to believe, but Liam is definitely mad about something – and it’s clear that it has to do with Ben.

  Everyone it seems, including the two blonde-haired girls stay silently still, watching for what will happen next. The entire pool has gone quiet. I notice the two male lifeguards look like they’re ready to pounce if necessary.

  “I know that you’re willing to throw away something wonderful and you don’t even seem to notice. Maybe you think that she truly doesn’t mind your fannying about because she’s ignored your ignorant behavior for so long now. Or, maybe she doesn’t mind because she simply doesn’t care for you any longer. Either way, it’s clear that you’re an arse.”

  Is this really happening? It feels like I’m having an out of body experience. I stumble out of the pool and numbly put myself in between Ben and Liam. I have no fear for Liam, it’s clear that he can handle himself. I can’t believe that he’s found the need to say these things to Ben, although there’s truth behind every word. Ben has never been one to handle conflict well, so as he usually does when he’s put on the spot, he turns red, looks down, and doesn’t say anything. He’s clearly uncomfortable now. Good.

  Axel speaks up next. “Maybe it’s time that we left, Ben.”

  “Yes, we should leave. Let’s go.” I agree quickly.

  After Axel and I gather our things we start toward the exit – Ben is already way ahead of us, almost out to the car. Coward. As I pass Liam, I notice that his face still remains hard, but his eyes are burning with something other than anger.

  “I’m sorry, Breckin,” he whispers when I meet his eyes.

  I only nod and then leave with Axel as he takes my shaky hand.

  Even though Liam has just behaved extremely arrogantly and downright rudely, I want to stay with him. I don’t care if Ben leaves now and if I don’t ever have to see him again. Part of me wants to stay behind and maybe get a ride home from Liam instead. Then with a sudden start, I realize that Liam must have some kind of feelings for me. Feelings like the kind of feelings I have for him. It’s the only way to explain his behavior just now. And his friends must know how he feels, too. Why else would they be so quick to join him – to stand behind him ready for a fight? It’s obvious that they were there to join him for a throw-down, maybe even expecting one. Even though their loyalties were to Ben last year being they were all teammates, it’s clear their allegiances are with Liam now. I roll my eyes at the thought of all the testosterone I’d just been engulfed with. Boys and their egos.