“You look so beautiful tonight, Breckin.” Liam says quietly. His accent combined with the exquisite tone of his voice never fails to make me feel a little awestruck. “Of course, you always do,” he continues.
“Thank you.” I’ve been saying that a lot tonight. But this is the only time I feel that I’ve truly meant it. “Where are we going?” I ask after a few more minutes of silent driving.
Liam smiles widely and he shakes his head.
“What?” I ask, now smiling too. “You can’t tell me?”
“It’s a secret. I promised to make this night good, remember?”
“I remember. I was starting to give up on that promise, though.” I admit quietly.
“Hey.” He waits for me to look at him. “I wouldn’t break my promise to you,” he assures. “Ever.”
I suddenly feel a little embarrassed as my previous doubts surface. Obviously Liam hadn’t left me after all. I’m not sure what he’s been up to, but I definitely feel self-conscious for imagining that maybe he’d left just because I’d gone to talk to Ben. Liam is better than that. How stupid of me to ever think such a thing. I laugh humorlessly to myself at how asinine I'd been.
“May I hear what’s so funny?” Liam asks as he takes my hand again.
“It’s not funny, really. I was just laughing at an absurd thought I’d had earlier.”
“I’d still like to know.”
I hesitate. I’d already promised myself the first time Liam and I had really spoken in depth that I would always be honest with him. Even though I really don’t want to tell him of my insecurities, I will.
“Okay…” I begin. The words come out much too fast after that. I’m in a hurry to get my moment of embarrassing honesty over. “I thought that maybe, well that, maybe you had left because you thought me – going over to talk to Ben – that you’d taken it wrong. That perhaps you thought I was…happy to see him – and that you’d missed us – well our little talk – that you’d left before knowing what had happened. It’s just that I knew in that moment, when I saw him – while I was with you – although I’ve known my choice for a long time now – that I had to break up with him right there, right then, but that you thought I was going to be…”
Liam reaches over to put a finger to my lips, quieting me. I look up to him apologetically and wait for him to respond. Have I said too much? Did I get out what I was trying to say? I rethink my explanation and realize that I’ve just sounded like the babbling idiot I usually become in his presence. I hope that I didn’t say what I was trying to convey incorrectly.
Liam sighs and I notice we’re already to a stop. I don’t know if his sigh meant that I’d upset him or if he’s annoyed with my rambling or maybe he’s angry that I thought…
“I took the liberty of stopping by your house to gather you some more comfortable clothes,” Liam says, interrupting my anxious thoughts. “I hope you don’t mind. Your mum was quite nice giving that I’m pretty much a complete stranger and I showed up to your house requesting your clothes.”
My eyes widen and my mouth falls open. He laughs loudly, allowing his head to tip back against the headrest of the car seat.
“She seemed to know who I was without much introduction. Do you talk about me to your mother, Breckin?”
“I… uh…” I sink into the seat, humiliated.
Liam laughs again, “Don’t worry about it, I’m only teasing you. I’ve talked about you, too, and I’m not afraid to say it. You’re the very best thing on my mind.”
I still don’t say anything and he reaches around me into the backseat. I stubbornly look forward into the black night, too humiliated to face him yet. Liam lays my favorite pair of holey jeans and a long sleeved cotton T-shirt onto my lap. I am suddenly very thankful that I’ve talked about Liam with my mother. I wonder if it was his good looks or English accent that tipped her off. Maybe she recognized his car from the parade.
“Shall we?” he asks while cutting the ignition.
“Where are we?” I look out into the dark night beyond and can see to telltale sign of where we are.
“Nope, I’m not telling.” Liam turns his gaze away from me and then seems to squirm uncomfortably in his seat. “Did you want to change in the car or…?”
“Sure, this is fine,” I respond as I look around the small confines of the space. “A little awkward maybe, but doable.”
Liam politely excuses himself and steps out of the car. I watch him walk toward the back bumper and he waits there while facing the other direction.
I rip the tiara out of my lifeless hair and throw it and the sash into the backseat. I look around remembering that I’d set the heavy bouquet of roses down on a table in the gym, then decide I don’t care. Maybe someone who will appreciate them more than I do will pick them up and give them the attention and care I clearly would not. Oh, but the purple rose Liam had given me was in there. Okay, now I care. Dammit.
I manage to hike up the skirt of my dress to rip it off over my head and then realize that I can’t reach the zipper at my middle back. I struggle to contort my body in every which way so that I can unzip the dress just enough, but I give up. I could try to slip the dress over my head without undoing the zipper, but the thin fabric will surely rip. And knowing my luck, the zipper would get caught in my hair and I’d be viced inside my own dress, arms pinned up over my head, face smashed into the fabric. I contemplate whether or not to ask Liam for help and then figure he’s probably already seen more of me in my underwear than he will now while undoing a simple zipper down my back.
I crack the passenger side door open. “Um, Liam?”
He swirls around as his back has been toward the car and steps around to me. “Is something wrong?” he asks. I can tell that he’s just a bit uncomfortable. He keeps his arms tightly folded across his chest and his eyebrows are furrowed.
“Not exactly.” I smile sheepishly. “I just can’t reach the zipper to my dress. I tried but… I’m not that flexible.”
“Oh.”
He seems unable to say much else. This is the second time I’ve left Liam speechless and it leaves me feeling a little smug again. It seems he turns awkward whenever an abundant amount of my bare skin is involved.
I shift my back toward the opening of the door and turn my head over my shoulder to look at him. “Please?”
I take in his expression again and I notice that he doesn’t look particularly uncomfortable now; perhaps broody is a better word. It’s hard to see in the blackness. He unfolds his arms and takes the remaining three steps it takes to get to me.
As he approaches, I lift my long hair out of the way exposing my back and the zipper. I’m not looking at him now, but I can sense that he’s just inches away from me. It seems his very presence sets a low burning fire to my body. I can feel him. My skin tingles in anticipation to his touch as I wait for him to undo the zipper. Just as I’m about to turn around to see why he hasn’t yet, Liam lays a single finger at the back of my neck. A gusty breath escapes through my lips in reaction to his touch as he trails his finger softly down the skin of my spine until he reaches the material at my zipper. He undoes the zipper in one fluid motion and then walks again to the back of the car.
After I’m able to catch by breath, I shut the door and remove the dress. I manage to get my clothes on fairly quickly and I notice a pair of my shoes in the backseat along with some socks. Hallelujah! I don’t think that I can manage to wear those awful heels again. Nope, I would’ve gone barefoot.
I double check to make sure that I haven’t put on anything backwards or inside out and with a deep breath, yank open the car door. I walk around to where Liam is waiting and when I reach him I don’t think twice about taking his hand. Now that I’m free to be with him in exactly the way I want to be, I have to touch him as much as possible. He seems just as eager to hold my hand as I am to hold his. When our fingers intertwine, he brings our hands up to his mouth and kisses my knuckles.
“This way,” he says while leading
us into the night.
I quickly appraise him as I usually do, and notice that he has chosen to stay dressed in his suit. I wonder why he hasn't changed clothes himself, but figure soft dress slacks and a cotton button-up shirt can't be too uncomfortable. He's gotten rid of the suit blazer though, and has the sleeves of his shirt rolled up just below his elbows allowing me to ogle over the taught muscles and tendons that strain beneath his skin.
“Do you work out?” I blurt out.
“Why?”
“Umm,” I stammer when I realize I’ve reached over with my free hand to trace one of the veins that runs the length of his forearm with my fingers. “I was just wondering.”
“Between soccer training and working on a farm every weekend, I do get in a pretty good workout. But yes, I also run and back home I did kickboxing.”
“I run, too.” I smile.
“Do you now?”
“Yes. I take Abigail with me. She loves it.”
“Perhaps I could join you some time.”
“Think you can keep up?”
“Ha! Is that a challenge?”
“Maybe,” I allow.
I know that it won’t do much good to ask him where we’re heading or even where we are, so I walk beside him just enjoying his touch. The dry ground cracks underneath our footsteps and I can smell the faint scent of a campfire from far away. The air is even chillier than before, so I wrap my free arm around myself. I suddenly remember that I have a coat in his car but when Liam notices what I’m doing, he frees the hand that’s holding mine and wraps his arm around me. I am very glad that I’d forgotten the coat again.
“I’m sorry that I don’t have a coat to offer you. I took my jacket off earlier.”
“That’s okay. I like this better.” I admit shyly.
Awareness suddenly hits him and his eyes widen. “I am so sorry, Breckin! You left your coat in my car. You must’ve been freezing!” He shakes his head. “I feel awful, I -”
“I made do. No sense in worrying about it now.” I interrupt, wanting to bring him out of his change of mood. “I’m warm now.”
His anxious face soothes into an almost smile as he looks down to my huge grin. We walk for a few more minutes and my eyes adjust to the darkness. I can see now that we are back at the Schumacher’s farm as I notice a few windows of the house lighting the night. We’re heading toward the large barn and I look over to Liam feeling slightly puzzled as I wonder why we’re here.
We stop in front of the large red barn doors that are colored a deep and rustic wine color from the dark night. Liam glances down to my face and smiles sweetly, but I can see that he’s a little nervous. I feel the same bubble of nervous anticipation clenching my belly, and I feel almost jittery for some reason. I return the gesture – not matching his beauty by any measure – but internally still cannot come up with a reason as to why we’d be here of all places.
“I promised to make this night special,” he says in a husky voice.
He drops his arm from me when we reach the barn and steps away to walk toward the large wooden door. While using all the weight of his body, Liam slides open the bulky barn gate.
I take in the scenery in front of me while silently walking through the open doorway and I can feel Liam watching me as I quietly look around. This particular section of the barn appears as though it had once been used for farming with its thick wooden stalls located to either side of the entryway and hay bales line the dirt path we stride upon. I think it a bit odd the stalls lay dormant of any farm life being I’m sure that the Schumacher’s still have animals here – Liam also had said that that was something he helped with on the days he worked. I walk a bit further in and note the sweet smell of vanilla and roses. The scents aren’t particularly potent, so I sniff the air a little closer to make sure I’m right. Yep. I am. I definitely never imagined that a barn could smell so sweet. When I think of a barn, it definitely suggests of other smells.
Liam grabs a lantern from an old iron peg and pulls a Zippo from his pocket to light it. He guides me down the dirt walkway to a narrow ladder leading to the upper level and then gestures for me to climb upward first.
“Up you go,” he instructs.
I grasp the wooden planks in front of me and when my eyes fall on the small square opening above, I notice a faint orange glow radiating from the tiny space. I take my time for fear that I might slip and fall. It isn’t extremely high, but my luck I’d lose my footing, and when I am left dangling helplessly, I’d probably kick Liam in the face.
The higher I climb, the stronger the intoxicating smell becomes. When my head breaks the surface to the second story level, my mouth pops open at the picture magically painted in front of me.
The soft orange glow I’d noticed in my approach and the warm vanilla fragrance I smelled has been radiating from hundreds of tiny votive candles. I mean, hundreds. They’re lit and lined amongst every surface of the floor, the wooden trusses above, the large lumbar beams extending outward from the walls and window sills. I climb to my feet and stand motionless, completely gawking and captivated.
I manage to pull my feet forward and when I reach the center of the tiny square room, I slowly turn around in a circle to better appreciate the view. The rose smell I’d noted comes from a simple glass vase holding a handful of purple roses – just like the one Liam had given me earlier. How can such a small gathering of flowers intoxicate a room so much? It seems impossible, but here they are, filling up the nighttime air with their potent fragrance. I am in absolute awe.
Liam walks up from behind and wraps his arms around my waist. I close my eyes to take in the moment I’ve imagined so many times before. He pulls my body closer to his, pressing my back flush with his chest, and then trails the tip of his nose along my cheek. He smells my hair and when he exhales against my skin, it sends a current of tingly heat I’ve never felt before blistering through my body. I concentrate on the warmth of his touch and the way my body seems to respond to it. Liam turns me to face him but I keep my eyes closed so that the other senses of my body can continue to experience this exhilarating new feeling.
Being near him, touching him, it isn’t a choice – it’s a necessity. My skin almost hurts to feel him, and the sound of his breathing has made my heart start to pound. My body now feels as though it could combust as prickly electric streams vibrate and course through my veins. Liam had asked me once if I’d ever felt this way about someone before, and he had found it hard to believe when I’d told him no. But it’s true. The feelings pulsating through my body aren’t anything I’ve ever experienced even though I know he didn’t mean it in the literal sense. It’s as if he’s inside my veins, swimming through my body, touching every vital part of me. As my body reacts to Liam’s touch, his voice, his breath against my skin, the way his arms feel wrapped around me – I’m positive that I’ve never felt this way about anyone. There is no comparing it.
“Breckin,” he whispers, only this time when Liam says my name, I can hear the plea behind it. “Open those beautiful doe eyes of yours.”
His large capable hands take my face within his grasp and he runs his thumb over my bottom lip. My mouth parts slightly, and I kiss the pad of his finger. When I do, he drops one hand from my cheek and wraps his arm around my waist. Only this time he isn’t so careful. His touch is urgent now, as if he can’t pull me close enough, fast enough. I can feel his need to have me in his arms and it sends another zing of current running through my body. His want for me is a heady feeling and it makes me feel more alive than I ever have before.
“Please open your eyes, Breckin.” I can hear his breath becoming more uneven as he whispers in my ear.
I smile to the sound of Liam’s begging voice. It appears my lack of eye contact is driving him somewhat mad and I have to admit that though I’ve been waiting for this moment for what I’m sure is longer than he has, I like the intensity this brings to the moment. It almost makes this instant better. It’s exhilarating.
Liam runs the ti
p of his nose up the center of my neck and then begins softly kissing the line of my jaw. After his lips have made the third sweep over my chin, he pulls away and I feel his arms drop from my waist.
He steps back.
My eyes snap open and I find Liam has put a few feet of distance between us. I don’t like the space so I take a step forward. Liam takes a step back to match my stride.
I try again and he steps back another foot. The gap between us is making me edgy and I’m starting to feel that all too familiar dull pain to be next to him. The magnets inside my veins shake to touch him and I feel my fingers twitching at my side.
The heat that flowed through my veins has now fizzled out completely as I watch him take another step away from me. My stomach twists with unease and I feel my heart falling toward my feet. Have I just done something to make him not want to be with me now? Have I gone too far in my innocent teasing?
“Where are you going?” I ask in a small voice.
“Is my stepping away driving you a little crazy?” Liam raises his eyebrows and bites his lip; he’s holding back a smile.
Ah.
Now I see what he’s doing. Liam’s trying to tease me back. It’s turning into a game. As I calm my ridiculous doubts, I decide that I can play as well.
“No. If that’s where you’d rather be, that’s fine.” I try to sound indifferent, as if the space he’s put between us isn’t driving me insane, although it more than is.
I gaze around my surroundings again, trying to look nonchalant, and walk to one of the many rows of candles. As I stroll alongside the small flickering flames, I trail my finger behind me on the lip of the aged barn-wood, feeling its silky surface aged with time before stopping where the quaint vase resides holding the delicate lavender flowers. I lean down to smell them and I can see out of the corner of my eye that Liam is watching me very intently.
“These are nice. They smell wonderful. And all the candles are pretty, too. But isn’t it a bit of a fire hazard having all of these lit in a big wooden barn?”
Hollow Sight Page 24
