Hollow Sight

by Kristie Pierce

  Luckily being family to a hospital employee has its perks. I ‘m rushed through the ER quickly and I stick with the story about the Charley Horse. Elly is understandably spastic with worry when she arrives to the hospital, but after I reassure her many times that I’m okay, she seems to calm down. Dr. Richards tells me that I can go home after a routine chest x-ray and my O2 stats come back up.

  “Her pulse-ox was a little low when she arrived,” the doctor explains to my mother. “But after keeping the oxygen mask on for a bit, it came right back up.”

  “Breckin, honey, do you feel short of breath?” Elly asks after that.

  I just shake my head no and feel like I could tip over. But it hurts to talk. My throat still feels like I’ve swallowed ragged pieces of steel.

  I sit silently cursing the uncomfortable plastic oxygen mask strapped across my face as Elly checks one of the monitors I’ve been wired up to. I’m still definitely tired enough to try sleep again, but the bright lights and constant beeping noises make it impossible.

  “Her chest x-ray looks good,” Dr. Richards says as he pulls back the curtain separating my room from the hallway. “Check on her every two hours or so. No need to wake her up, but dry drowning is always a worry.”

  I look at Elly confused then, but she nods to the doctor and starts unhooking my chest leads and I rip off my face mask without being instructed to. Once I’m discharged, I get up to walk on my own accord to the car, but an overly helpful nurse whisks to my bedside with a wheelchair.

  “I don’ neeeeeed thaaaat,” I say thickly. Good grief, I’m slurring.

  “Breckin, get in the chair,” my mother soothes.

  “I caa-iiinn waaaalk,” I disagree. I try to push Elly’s hand away and it feels like I’m dragging my hand through mud.

  “You were given some medication to make you relax, dear,” the nurse says. “I'd feel better if you let me push out.”

  “Whyyy was I givvvven th-that?” I sound drunk.

  “I was told you were a bit combative when the medics were trying to help you.” Elly scolds, sounding a little embarrassed.

  I quickly recall the way I'd acted as I tried to get away from my unwanted visitor. “Oh. S-sorrrrry.” I murmur with chagrin.

  “Uh-huh,” Elly mutters as if to say, what the hell is going on with you and don't you ever embarrass me like that again. “Get in the chair, Breckin.”

  I roll my eyes – it makes me dizzy – but comply. I really am exhausted and arguing with my mother isn’t something I’m up for at the moment.

  I decide not to tell Elly about what really happened either. I don’t want to worry her further by explaining that whenever I see the same uninvited ghost, my body spasms into some sort of unexplained and painful shock. Even though she had given me a disapproving look when I stammered through my hazy explanation, I stick to my story. This is new to me, feeling any kind of physical anything when I encounter a ghost. I have to figure out this new revelation before I try explaining it.

  I’m so completely pooped when I arrive home, but as I curl up into bed, I find it hard to relax while my body still rocks violently with tremors. I don’t know if it’s from the almost drowning incident or from fear as the image of the dark man plays again and again in my head. And I’m so cold. My hair is still damp and I’d been sitting in the emergency room with wet clothes as my suit soaked through my sweats. Maybe I shouldn’t have refused the ugly hospital gown. It may have been thin and revealed too much for my taste, but as least it would have been dry.

  There is a small rap on my door just as sleep attempts to overtake me and I can’t fight against my heavy eyelids to open them, nor do I have the strength to answer. Elly can come in if she wants without invitation, though I think it a little early to be checking in on me. We just got home… didn’t we? Then I realize maybe I’m not sure exactly how much time’s passed.

  I don’t move an inch when I hear the door open. My body has finally relaxed from the erratic shaking and my every muscle hurts. My back is toward the door and I don’t turn to face my mother, but I can sense her standing over me.

  I feel a warm hand caress my forehead and move down my cheek with the softest of touches. A finger traces around my lips and my groggy conscious registers that Elly certainly wouldn’t be touching me like this. I turn then, fighting against my unwilling eyelids to open them, and see Liam’s beautiful face gazing down at me with an expression that is crossed with both worry and relief. I sit up automatically to put my arms around his neck.

  He sighs heavily into my hair. “Breckin, are you all right? You had me so worried.”

  I pull back to look at him and his aqua eyes are burning with an emotion I don’t understand. “I’m sorry,” I begin. “I… I…” and I’m crying.

  I have no idea exactly why I’m sobbing. Maybe the trauma of what I’ve been through is finally seeping its way to the surface. All the emotion I’ve been trying to suppress by keeping the reason for what had really happened to me and the reality of it all is finally making its way to the forefront of my mind. I can’t put a finger on it, but somehow having Liam here now allows me to wither to pieces as my guard crumbles to dust.

  “How… did you… know... that I...?” I ask in between sobs. Agh! Crying hurts too! I wince when I suck in a breath.

  “Camille called me as soon as you were under way to the hospital,” he answers before I can stammer out my sentence.

  “But you were… at a game. I'm s-s-sorry, this must've… ruined it for you.”

  “You are more important to me than any football match. Coach was the one to get the call and made sure I left straight away.” Liam hugs me tightly and whispers in my ear. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t get here sooner. I would have met you there, in the emergency room, if only I’d been allowed to drive myself to our match. I had to catch a ride from Adam's mum.”

  He takes my face into his strong hands and kisses me very gently. I kiss him back eagerly while the tears flow down my cheeks. And then I ignore the burning in my throat so that I can answer his question.

  “I’m fine. I… um, got a Charley Horse. It hit me so fast… it must’ve just shocked my system or something.” I mutter while wiping away tears, avoiding his anxious eyes.

  I endeavor to compose the same poker face I'd had while talking to the EMT’s earlier. My voice is still shaky and unsure, and I don’t like lying to him, but I feel like now is not the time to explain to Liam the real reason for my near drowning experience. I haven’t made up my mind if I’m going to tell him that I can see spirits, even though I desperately want to. I don’t want to have any secrets between us, but now just isn't the time. Unfortunately he sees right through my bluff.

  “I don’t believe you, Breckin,” he says bluntly. “I know you well enough to know when you’re lying. Your story is complete rubbish.”

  This brings me up short. The leftover sobs halt and I sit mute and stunned. I wasn’t expecting Liam to see through me so clearly. I could be made from clear cut glass, a window pane for all the good it did me. He lowers his face to meet my surprised gaze and speaks softly then.

  “I’m sorry if I offended you. It’s just that it’s written all over your face,” he explains patiently. “And you fidget with your fingers when you fib.”

  I do? I’ve never noticed that. And here I thought that I’d had my perfect impassive expression down to a science after so many years of practice. I will have to work on that. I pull my eyebrows together in stubbornness and my bottom lip juts out into a pout.

  Liam chuckles quietly. “Are you trying to distract me? You look even more adorable when you sulk. Oh wait, nope. Apologies. I mean, sexy.”

  My glower falters and I half-smile. He’s cheating. He’s distracting me. Liam leans his beautiful face in closer to mine.

  “Please tell me what happened,” he breathes. “I was willing to let it go after what took place with you this morning. I could tell that you weren’t ready to explain to me what was really happening. But after t
onight… Breckin, I can’t ignore it. You really had me nervous. I only thought the worst, and…” he cuts off, agony plain in his voice.

  How can I possibly keep my composure and continue to lie so miserably when I can hardly focus with his exquisite and angelic face just inches from mine, covered in such pain? His accented voice has turned soothing with his pleading, melting me to complete mush, but the anguish he feels for my then safety breaks my heart. Of course he would think the worst.

  Liam trails his fingers down the length of my arm while he places his lips to my neck, softly kissing my skin. I close my eyes so I can concentrate on his touch and try pushing away all the unpleasant memories from today. My heart pounds erratically, but I attempt to keep my breathing calm – it still hurts to breathe normally let alone breathe the way I do when Liam gets me going. It isn’t long, however, before my breaths come too quickly and I shudder when the sting in my throat overpowers all other senses.

  “Ow,” I moan.

  Liam pulls away instantly. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” he asks anxiously.

  “It’s nothing. My throat’s just sore.” I try pulling him back to me.

  “You need to tell me what happened,” he demands and his eyes narrow.

  Crap. I’m not ready for this. I wish that he would just let it go. My heart rate picks up again, but not in response to his touch or the way he looks at me as if my soul could melt into his or the way his voice sends thrills up my spine or the way... Get a hold of yourself! It’s nerves that have my heartbeat fluttering into a frenzy. It’s obvious that I’m not getting out of this; Liam will wait for an explanation.

  “I’ve got all night,” he warns, confirming my thoughts.

  “It’s a school night. Don’t you have to get home?” I mutter, stalling.

  “Camille will want me to make sure you’re all right. She said to take as long as I need.”

  “Oh.” I respond blankly.

  I’m silent after that, trying to decide how exactly will be the best way to explain to someone that I’m able to see ghosts. The only other person that knows is Elly and that had been easy to explain. But this time it isn’t exactly an easy conversation starter. Oh, it’s nothing. I just got a blindsiding pain out of nowhere incapacitating me to the point of paralyzation. By the way, did I mention it was brought on by a daunting and creepy ghost? A ghost that looks like he's been drudged through muck and has eyes so black they look like the doorway to hell? Yeah, that ought to send him screaming into the night and straight out of my life.

  Liam sighs in frustration, but I still can’t meet his eyes. I fidget with the comforter to my bed, outlining the swirly pattern with one of my fingers trying to come up with an explanation.

  “I’m sorry, I just don’t know how to explain it.” I say quietly. “I’m just trying to find the words… I’m not sure…”

  Liam reaches a hand out to stroke my face. “Never be afraid to tell me anything, Breckin. I promise, whatever it is, I’ll listen openly and without judgment.”

  “We'll see about that…”

  He seems genuine in what he’s saying as he always does, but that fails to ease my doubts and fears. My expression remains unsure as he places a finger beneath my chin, forcing me to look at him. When my eyes meet his, he nods in encouragement.

  I suck in a deep breath, ignoring the ache in my throat. In a snap decision I figure that I should just tell him the truth. And even though the thought of what I’m about to say makes my stomach twist with nauseating unease, it’s better I wager, to have him know everything about me. And if it’s going to send him running away, I’d rather it be now so that I can get the heartbreak over with. As more time passes, I’ll just become that much more attached and I don’t need to feel like the world has shattered at my feet when he finally discovers the truth. Our relationship has already far surpassed any expectation I’d ever had. Liam is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I recall the memory of our many talks and how I’d promised myself that I would never hold back with him. Not one subject will be off limits. Especially after tonight.

  “Okay, I’ll tell you. But you have to promise not to interrupt me.” I say, sounding more certain than I feel. Liam nods again to show me that he’s agreed to my terms. “Oh, and by the way, you’ll probably think I’m crazy,” I warn.

  His expression becomes slightly amused, but he props his back against the backboard of my bed and crosses his arms lazily across his chest. He then pinches his thumb and index finger together and mimics the motion of zipping his lips together.

  “You didn’t lock it.” I mutter dryly.

  Liam laughs. “All right,” he agrees and then imitates the movements of turning a key into a lock at the corner of his mouth.

  I still need a minute to compose myself enough to start. He waits patiently now while playing with my hand in his, tracing patterns into my palm. It tickles a little although his touch doesn’t fail to send an electric jolt through my body even though I am incredibly preoccupied with what I’m about to do.

  “When I was a little girl, I had a friend that often came to visit. Her name was Sera,” I begin in a subdued tone.

  “What does that have to do with you almost drowning?” he asks skeptically.

  “Shhh!” I hiss. “You promised.” I hold a finger up to my lips.

  Liam sets his jaw and his lips tighten into a line, fighting a smile. I eye him with one eyebrow raised.

  “I’ll be good now,” he promises playfully.

  I take in another deep breath to continue, hoping it will calm me, but all it manages to do is send another stinging ache down my throat. My heart still pounds with uncertainty, and I can hear the echo of my pulse in my ears. I count to twenty in my head before I go on with my story, biding my time.

  “Sera… is still very much a part of my life. I can remember her from when I was very little and she’s been with me through the good, the bad, and the awkward times. She helps to guide me you could say, through every day struggles, well, more than that actually, she helps guide me through… life. Not a day goes by that she and I don’t talk or see one another. Aside from my mom, she’s my best friend.”

  I realize that I’ve been very inadvertently avoiding Liam’s eyes. And I’m babbling. I want to try and stay focused during my storytelling and I’m sure to flounder with my already shaky confidence if I let myself get lost in the depthless pool of his stare.

  “I’m sure she’s lovely. Why haven’t I met her?” he asks politely. “She obviously doesn’t attend school with us.”

  I shake my head. Here comes the hard part.

  “No, she doesn’t. And I’m afraid you’ll never meet her.” I say each word slowly and distinctly. Liam’s eyebrows furrow in obvious confusion. I ignore him and continue.

  “You see, Sera is special because I…. Because Sera is the only…. I’m the only one that can see her.”

  Liam stops tracing his absentminded circles on my palm and allows my hand to drop. Oh no.

  “Well, probably not the only one in existence that can see her, but the only one I know of that can. She’s been in my life as far as I can remember and she did live here, on Earth, once, or actually more than once… but it was many, many years ago. She didn’t have a good experience her last time here and she decided not to come back. Not in human form anyway.”

  I realize that I’m talking much too quickly now, but somehow saying the words in a hurry seems to make them flow much more easily. I still avoid Liam’s stare for fear of what I might see.

  “Sera is my height and has curly, reddish hair. Some would say strawberry-blonde. Her eyes are green and sincere and sometimes when she speaks her voice makes my ears hurt. Her voice is kind of high-pitched and sometimes she talks too fast. Once and a while she has the remnants of a Scottish accent. Sera’s a ghost… er… a spirit, rather.

  “So anyway, the pain I felt earlier. Yeah, I think that it was actually brought on by another spirit, well he’s probably a ghost, their technical
ly different although I don't always use the words spirit and ghost in the correct way. Spirit, ghost, they both mean the same thing to me. I don’t know who he is. He scares me, though. Whenever I see him, he only stares… no, he glares at me. His eyes are dark and cold. His face is sunken and sallow. And there's water running down his face from the top of his head looking like he's standing beneath a rain cloud. I think he may be older. Anyway, whenever I see him up close, which has only been the two times, um... today. The other couple of times I’ve seen him he’s been far away. But I think that maybe he has something to do with the chest pain and the agonizing headache I get when he’s near,” I wince, “because when he disappears, so does the sudden onset of throbbing pain.

  “I haven’t figured out what he wants or if he actually wants anything. I can only assume that he does. I sent Sera to follow him, but I’m not sure that she can. I’m surprised she’s not back yet. Hmm. But I haven’t figured out why I get any kind of physical reaction either. That’s never happened before. Most spirits I see just go about their business as usual, or whatever it is they do.” I shrug my shoulders as if what I’m saying doesn’t sound out of the ordinary. And it doesn’t to me. This is my ordinary.

  “So that’s the reason I almost drowned. He was there at the meet. I didn’t see him of course until after I’d been pulled from the water. When I managed to open my eyes, he was there standing over me.”

  I’ve finished my explanation in record time, thanks to the nervous rambling. As usual, the words came out easier than I’d expected them to even though I don’t know if my explanation made any sense. I’m so anxious that I can only manage a sly glance to Liam out of the corner of my eye. I want to get a good feel for what he might be thinking before I turn to face him. He sits unnaturally still and silent, but he’s picked my hand back up and started tracing small pictures onto my palm again. I turn my head to look at him finally and he moves his eyes to lock in on mine. Liam’s face reveals nothing as he appears unphased by my blathering.