Giving Up the Ghost

by Phoebe Rivers

  I heard a muffled reply from Lady Azura in the kitchen.

  After dumping the garbage into the bin, I hurried down the front pathway and turned onto Seagate Drive to meet Lily.

  I glanced quickly back at the house. It looked the same. The weathered gables. Pale-yellow siding with burnt-orange trim. The huge covered porch. I caught a glimpse of two of the spirits—our spirits, the ones that belonged in my house. The old woman sitting on the porch, knitting. And a young boy in a cap, scampering around on an upstairs balcony. Everything looked the same as it always did. But I couldn’t help sharing Lady Azura’s feeling that something was not right.

  I thought about how I, too, hadn’t been the same recently. My ability to read people’s thoughts had grown stronger in the past few weeks. I wasn’t at all sure that this was a good thing. It made me feel guilty to hear what people were thinking. Like I was eavesdropping. Intruding. What would be next? X-ray vision? So I could see them in their underwear?

  I wondered if my powers were strengthening because I was getting older. I thought about how awful it would be if someone else could read my thoughts. I often had fears, or annoyed feelings about other people, that passed quickly. But what if someone tapped into my mind at the very moment I was thinking something terrible?

  Lately I felt like I worried all the time. In addition to worrying about my new power, I worried a lot about my dad and Lady Azura. Things had been really tense between them lately.

  I was beginning to think Lady Azura was right when she said the energy in the house was bad. What I didn’t know, though, was what to do about it.

  Chapter 3

  Lily was actually there waiting for me as I arrived in front of her house. I must really have been running late, because Lily is almost never waiting somewhere before I am. She’s “chronically tardy,” as some of our teachers like to say. She was practicing her ballet leaps across the sidewalk, her long brown braid flapping behind her.

  “Hey, you!” she shouted as I approached. “How does my cabriole look? I’ve been working on it!”

  I grinned. “Awesome. Probably even more awesome if I actually knew what a cabby-whatever actually is.”

  She rolled her eyes and linked arms with me, panting slightly from all that jumping around. “Come on. We have to get moving! Do you realize you are actually late, missy? That might be a first for you.”

  “Yeah, sorry. Lots of drama in the house this morning. Don’t ask.”

  She laughed. “Multiply that times five and you have my house this morning.”

  Lily had three brothers and a sister. And more cousins than I could count on my fingers and toes.

  “So. We have to talk. About Saturday,” said Lily as we turned onto Ocean Grove Road.

  My heart sank. I hoped she wasn’t going to suggest having some huge birthday party for me.

  “What about Saturday?” I asked warily.

  “I was talking with Miranda and Avery,” she said, “and we were thinking about throwing a big party.”

  “Oh, now, Lil, hold on. I don’t—”

  “For Jayden.”

  That stopped me. I blinked at her.

  “Oh! For . . . Jayden?”

  “Yeah, because he’ll be leaving just after spring break, and I guess there’s no other time to have a going-away party before he leaves, because he has so many relatives to go see and stuff. So we thought Saturday would be the perfect night for it.”

  “Um, yeah. That sounds great,” I said.

  We walked in silence for a few minutes. The warm March breeze smelled salty and hinted at summer. The leaves were just starting to bud on the trees. I thought about Jayden. He’d told me he was moving to Atlanta when we were at the semiformal dance a few weeks back. Well, actually I’d read his thoughts first. And then he’d told me.

  Jayden was my first-ever boyfriend. My first-ever kiss. On the cheek, but still. No one knew about the kiss except Lily . . . and Jayden and I, of course. As first boyfriends go, I thought I had definitely won the coolest-first-boyfriend prize. He was really cute, with shaggy brown hair and big brown eyes. Skin the color of caramel. Athletic. Funny. Nice. And I didn’t feel shy when I was with him, which was how I usually felt with practically everyone else. He made me laugh. He seemed to genuinely like hanging out with me. So of course I was upset that he was leaving. Of course it made sense to throw a party. But still. It was a little confusing. Did Lily forget Saturday was my birthday?

  “Is there, uh, anything I can do? To help with the party?” I asked. I felt awkward asking. Like I was butting in or something.

  “Nah, I think we’re all set,” she said. “It’s going to be at Scoops. Uncle Paul even said he’d close it for us specially, so we could have the place all to ourselves, which is pretty awesome.” She bounded down the sidewalk, skipping a square of sidewalk with every leap.

  “That is awesome,” I agreed, trotting to catch up with her. We passed a bunch of closed storefronts. My backpack bounced uncomfortably on my back. It seemed to be a rule that all middle-school textbooks had to weigh at least ten pounds each.

  We walked in silence for a minute or so. Should I say something? I decided I would.

  I tried to make my voice sound as casual as I could. “Oh, and by the way, it’s, um, well, Saturday is my birthday. No big deal or anything, but just thought I’d mention it.”

  Lily stopped leaping, her arms windmilling so she wouldn’t fall forward. She smacked her brow and turned to me. “Oh. Jeez,” she said. “I totally forgot! I am the worst friend ever!”

  “No, you’re not. Really, that’s fine,” I said quickly. And I meant it. At least, I thought I did. The last thing I wanted was a big party for me.

  But she shook her head and waved her hands, looking really annoyed at herself. “How did I forget your birthday? Lame, lame, lame. Well, we should at least sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to you.”

  “No, no, do not. So not a big deal. You should make the party about Jayden. I don’t want my birthday to be a big event when the party is about him.”

  Lily looked at me for a moment and then nodded, looking reassured. We resumed our fast-paced walk-trot to school. We were almost there. Lines of buses parked in the semicircular driveway disgorged kids, who streamed up the stairs and into the building through the wide double doors.

  “Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” she said finally. “But here’s what I’ll do. How about if we ask some of the gang if they can meet at Scoops on Sunday afternoon? Just a little get-together, no big deal or anything. We won’t even call it a birthday celebration or anything.”

  I smiled. “Sure. That sounds great.” But I felt a little let down. Part of me was happy Lily wanted to do something for my birthday, but another part of me felt a little disappointed that my birthday didn’t seem like a bigger deal to her. I mean, I know I said I didn’t want it to be a big deal, and I meant it . . . but I meant it in terms of everyone else. Shouldn’t it be a kind of big deal to Lily, my best friend?

  But I had no clue about how normal kids celebrated normal birthdays with their friends. Being in a friendship group like this was still new to me. What did I know? I asked myself. Maybe this was just the way people did birthdays around here. I felt a little ashamed of myself for doubting Lily.

  Suddenly Lily’s thoughts cut into mine. I could hear them.

  . . . so much to think about for the party on Saturday . . . hope the Sunday thing satisfies her . . .

  Quickly I forced myself to block her thoughts. I squeezed my eyes closed and pushed them away, almost like I was creating a force field around myself.

  It actually worked. Her thoughts faded.

  “Hey, you okay?” asked Lily, her dark-brown eyes wide with concern. “You look like you’re trying to blow up a balloon or something. Your eyes are scrunched up, and your face is all red.”

  I realized I had been holding my br
eath. I let it out quickly. I had to learn how to do this without making a spectacle of myself.

  “I-I’m fine,” I panted.

  And then we heard the first bell. We hustled inside.

  In social studies I couldn’t find my report about the gold rush. I was positive I’d put it into my binder the night before. But it wasn’t there.

  Even though I knew it was pointless, I conducted a frantic search through every inch of my backpack. Then inside my textbooks. It wasn’t there.

  I’m one of these semi-geeky types who never doesn’t do my homework, so not being able to find my homework puts me in a state of panic.

  “Problem, Sara?” Mr. Blake was suddenly looming over my desk.

  I stopped frantically rummaging and gave him a helpless shrug. “I’m sorry. I can’t find my report. I could have sworn I put it in there last night, but now it’s missing.”

  “Not to worry. Bring it in before first period tomorrow,” he said, and moved on to the next desk.

  Oh, puh-leese. Can you say “teacher’s pet”? If anyone else in the class had forgotten their report, Blake would have taken off ten points at least.

  I jumped. It had been Miranda’s voice. But not her spoken voice. Her thoughts-inside-her-head voice. I was learning to hear the difference.

  I leaned forward to look at her. She was sitting two desks away, with Lily in between us. She just raised her eyebrows and grinned at me, friend to friend, as if to say, Whew, that was a close one! But now that I knew what she really thought, could I see a hint of dislike and phoniness behind her smile? I mustered a weak smile back at her. Inside I was stung.

  I leaned back in my chair and stared straight ahead. I definitely wasn’t liking this new skill of mine, the ability to read minds. Not one bit.

  At lunch I plunked down my tray just in time to hear Avery and Lily talking about a party.

  The party.

  “So, um, what time is this party for Jayden?” I asked.

  “It’s supposed to start at seven thirty, but you should come over to my house before,” said Lily. “Maybe you can help my mom with the baking, since you’re so artistic? Oh, and it’s not a surprise or anything. Jayden knows about it.”

  “That’s good,” I said. “He doesn’t seem like the type who’d enjoy a surprise party.”

  “Oh, and speaking of parties,” said Lily, leaning forward and addressing the whole table. “Did you guys know that it’s Sara’s birthday on Saturday?”

  Some “ohs” and “reallys” chorused around the table. I nodded and shrugged, feeling a little awkward.

  “So should we sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to her on Saturday?” asked Avery. Being talked about like I wasn’t sitting right there made me feel really awkward.

  “No, no, no,” said Lily quickly. “Sara told me she doesn’t want us to fuss at all about her birthday, right, Sara?”

  I nodded almost imperceptibly. I was afraid to say something for fear of sounding like I really did mind. Because I wasn’t sure what I thought. Was it silly that my feelings were hurt?

  “And she knows that this party is all about Jayden, and she doesn’t want to make it about her. So I was thinking maybe some of you guys might be able to get together at Scoops on Sunday afternoon? To celebrate Sara’s birthday. Except we won’t even mention that it is her birthday, right, Sara? We’ll just get together again and hang out a little, totally unofficial. . . .”

  This get-together was sounding lamer by the minute.

  “Because she hates being the center of attention and all that,” Lily finished with a smile in my direction.

  Avery’s thoughts lasered into my mind.

  As IF! And miss hanging out with my cousin and his dreamy friends for ice cream with a bunch of girls?

  “I am soooo sorry, Sara,” Avery said, out loud this time. “But my family already switched our plans from Saturday to Sunday because of Jayden’s party. I have to go visit my cousins on Sunday. I would so rather celebrate your birthday, but I promised my mom.”

  Wow. Avery had just said practically the exact opposite of what she’d thought. How could she do that? I sat back and nodded, feeling numb. “That’s fine,” I said. “I understand.”

  I didn’t want to have to hear other people’s thoughts. What they really thought, that is. Did everyone do this? Say one thing and think another? Did I do that?

  I pretended to drop my spoon on the floor so I could put up my clumsy blocking technique while I was under the table, where no one would see me. Below the edge of the table, I squeezed my eyes shut. Willed an invisible bubble to form around me, so others’ thoughts would bounce off and not make their way inside my head.

  “I’ll try to make it,” said Marlee vaguely.

  “I don’t know if I can,” said Tamara. “I might have to babysit for my little brother.”

  I had to sit back up sometime. “That’s fine, you guys. I know the Saturday party is a lot of effort and stuff,” I mumbled. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. That was the voice inside my own head. I swallowed the huge lump that had risen in the back of my throat.

  Lily looked at me, concern written all over her face. “You okay, Sar?” she asked in a soft voice.

  “I’m great!” I said as cheerfully as I possibly could. I knew I was being a big baby. I was definitely feeling extra emotional because Jayden was leaving. Or maybe I was just extremely immature about the fact that no one seemed to care that it was my birthday. What did I expect? The days of princess dresses and pink frosted cakes and balloons and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey were past me. It was time to grow up. And last year, in California, I didn’t have one friend to wish me a happy birthday. This year I had a table full of friends making excuses about why they couldn’t hang out for my birthday. That was an improvement of sorts, right?

  Suddenly Jayden appeared at the table.

  “Hey, dudes!” he said cheerfully to everyone at my table. “Talking about the par-tay?”

  “Yep,” said Lily. “We’re trying to decide between throwing your party at the Ritz or jetting everyone to the Riviera.”

  He grinned. “Cool. Both sound awesome. So, can you come on Saturday?” he asked me.

  “Well, I had something way more important to do, but I canceled. I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I said, making my voice come out a lot more lighthearted and cheerful than I was actually feeling at that moment.

  His smile widened. Then he moved along to the next table, where most of the boys from the basketball team usually sat together.

  As if I needed more problems at that moment, I suddenly heard a loud voice bellow my name from across the cafeteria.

  “Collins! I need to talk to you pronto!”

  I stifled a groan and looked around for an escape route. Now was not the time for me to have a conversation with the long-dead spirit of a school gym teacher.

  “Right now! On the double! Move it, Collins!”

  My number one life goal at my new school was to fit in. To look normal. Having the entire school see me talking to thin air was probably not the best way to look normal. Now would definitely be a good time to leave the cafeteria.

  I stood up. “Got to get to the library to print something before English,” I said.

  I bussed my tray, then hurried for the door, ignoring the gym teacher as he continued to bellow my name from across the noisy room.

  Chapter 4

  I rushed home from school, anxious to talk to Lady Azura. I was so over this mind-reading stuff. I wanted her to teach me a way to turn it off for good. I was sure she would know how. She always seemed to have the answers to questions I had. Sometimes she even knew the answer before I’d figured out what the question would be. I often had trouble understanding what she actually meant, though. She tended to speak in riddles.

  The first thing I saw when I opened the front door was my history repo
rt. Sitting right on the front-hall table. Before I could react to why it was there, and how it had gotten there, I smelled something very wrong.

  It smelled like smoke.

  Well, not exactly like smoke from a fire that was burning. It wasn’t the same sort of smoke I’d smelled that awful night a few weeks ago, when there had been an actual fire, upstairs, in the pink bedroom. This was a smoky smell. Like from an old campfire or something.

  Still, even if nothing was actively burning, this smell couldn’t be a good thing. Something had been burning.

  There was no sign of Lady Azura. But the door to her summoning room was closed. That meant she most likely had a client. And the smoky smell was coming from the sitting room across the hall. I strode over and stopped short in the doorway, surveying the room. My mouth dropped open in horror, then immediately closed again, because I began coughing uncontrollably.

  It wasn’t smoke. It was soot. Dirty clouds of soot. Soot billowed out of the chimney. It coated every surface in the room. It looked as though a downdraft was blowing the ashes in the wrong direction. Rather than going up the chimney, they were coming down, through the open damper, and ashes were shooting into the room.

  I dashed into the room, trying not to breathe, and stooped down to try to jimmy the damper closed. I got a face full of soot for my efforts. But after some jiggling and shifting around, I managed to get the thing closed. Black soot completely covered my hand.

  Coughing and sputtering, I ran out of the room and closed the French doors we never closed. I was grateful they were there.

  I was still standing there, my back to the door, my elbow raised to my face, coughing and wheezing, when the door to Lady Azura’s room opened, and a large woman with red hair emerged. She barely glanced my way. She did not look very pleased.

  “My new blouse is ruined!” she said over her shoulder.

  I noticed a brown, blotchy stain down the front of her blouse.

  Lady Azura stood and leaned in the doorway, her arms crossed. She tossed her head haughtily but did not respond until the woman had slammed the front door behind her.