If I Told You

by Jennifer Domenico

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You know exactly what it means. We’re either gonna fuck and get it over with or we’re gonna be friends and not talk about it.”

  “I don’t get what changed. Three days ago everything was fine.”

  She sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. “Here’s what’s changed. I’m used to being treated like nothing more than a piece of ass. In fact, it works for me. No attachments, in and out, my only goal is pleasure.” She looks down at her coffee cup then back at me. “You know everything about me. You know how I treat men and how I think about things.”

  I nod. “I do.”

  “I know the same about you. I just never thought…” She shakes her head. “Nothing.”

  “You can say anything to me.”

  “No.”

  “Come on, Brooks. It’s me.”

  “I never thought you’d treat me like that. I always believed you saw me as more than a piece of ass. I thought you saw me as a person.”

  “I do. Why are you saying this?”

  “You only want me because you need someone. Because someone else wants me. I just never thought it would be like that between us.”

  “You’re wrong, Brooklyn. So wrong. That’s not it at all.”

  “Then what is it? Last night you wanted to…” her voice cracks with rare emotion. She clears her throat before she continues. “You wanted to share me with another man just so you could say you did it. I would be nothing but a conquest to you. Just like all your other women.”

  She starts to walk away as her words leave me shocked. No. That’s not it. I chase after her, pulling her into my arms and spilling her coffee. She struggles against me, but I hold her close until she relaxes against me. Stroking her hair, I kiss the top of her head until she returns my embrace.

  “Brooklyn,” I say, stepping back enough to look at her. “Come on, baby, it’s me. You know you mean everything to me. Everything.”

  She shakes her head trying to look away, but I force her to look back at me.

  “If you were just another conquest to me, you know it would’ve happened by now. We would’ve fucked ages ago, and we wouldn’t be friends now. You know this.”

  She nods.

  “I’m sorry for what I said last night. It came out all wrong.”

  “What did you mean then?”

  “I was turned on seeing you like that and it clouded my judgment. For a few minutes, yeah I did want you enough to think those things.” I grip her chin. “But I can’t treat you like that. I can’t use you for sex. I can’t give in to a moment of pleasure and give up everything else we have. I respect you too much to treat you the way I treat other women. I love you. You, Brooklyn. Your heart, your mind, your sense of humor. And yeah, you’re fucking sexy and you know I think that, but you know I care about you so much I would sacrifice myself for you. You know that, Brooklyn.”

  She nods. “I’m sorry. You’re the only man I trust, and for a minute I questioned if I could.”

  “That’s my fault. I’m used to being honest with you, and I went too far.”

  “It’s my fault, too. I admit I’ve flirted with you a little lately.”

  “I’ve noticed.” I chuckle and kiss her forehead. “What’s up with that? You can’t blame it on being horny after what I saw last night.”

  She shrugs. “I don’t know. Just some kind of mood I’m in I guess. I’ll knock it off.”

  Pulling her close again, I remind myself that’s what I want. No more crossing the line. “You’re my best friend, and that matters more to me than anything. Even the restaurant. I’m sorry for what I said.”

  She hugs me close. “I’m sorry, too.” Looking up, she smiles. “I want us to be normal again. Can we just go back to how we were?”

  “Yeah, let’s do that.” As she leans into me, I rub her back, and wonder just how the fuck I’m going to accomplish that.

  A few hours later, I go online to look up Rhys’s review of Flynn’s. After finding it, my eyes peruse it, then I call for Flynn.

  “Flynn!”

  “Yeah,” he says, coming out of the kitchen. “What’s up?”

  “I found the review.”

  “Oh.” He dries his hands on a dish towel. “And?”

  “You ready?”

  “I am.” He sits across from me in the armchair. “Let’s hear it.”

  “A review of Flynn’s in Manhattan,” I begin. “After receiving numerous suggestions from my faithful readers, I decided it was time to try this newish establishment, specializing in a contemporary twist on Italian classics.” I glance up at a nervous Flynn. “I’m glad I did. The restaurant’s ambience is worthy of a stop for that alone. Dim lighting, comfortable chairs, and a view of the kitchen make you feel like you’re sitting in your best friend’s house, that is, until the impressive wait staff reminds you’re actually in an upscale Manhattan eatery. I had the pleasure of sitting at the chef’s table and indulging in his best dishes. Each bite was more impressive than the last, and I found myself looking forward to each new dish that made its way to my table.”

  “Awesome,” Flynn murmurs, as he starts to relax. “He liked it.”

  “There’s more.” I scroll down to see the rest of the write up. “You must make yourself a reservation and try the absolutely sumptuous truffle lobster ravioli, the undeniable lemon braised trout, and for dessert, the decadent panna cotta with sea salt caramel. You won’t be disappointed.”

  “I did it, Brooks. I made it.”

  “I know. Wait, there’s more.” I continue to read. “Fellows, Flynn’s also attracts some of Manhattan’s most beautiful women, from the hostess to the clientele. I wouldn’t be surprised if Flynn’s becomes a hot spot to meet that special someone.” I look up, smiling. “Personally, I can’t wait for my next opportunity to dine at Flynn’s. Chef Flynn made an impression on me I won’t soon forget. My rating? Flynn’s gets five delicious stars. Look for the full write up with photos in next month’s issue of Foodie magazine.”

  “Unbelievable,” Flynn mutters.

  “What a fantastic review. The best you’ve had so far.”

  “Yeah, for sure.”

  “We should celebrate.”

  Flynn grins. “How?”

  “I’ll make the drinks.”

  “Sounds good.”

  I stand up and walk over to our little makeshift bar to begin making cocktails. I’m over the moon excited for Flynn. This was exactly the break he needed.

  After drinks are finished, I carry them into the living room where Flynn is setting up our dinner he prepared.

  “Braised beef in a mushroom sherry sauce,” he announces.

  “Yum. Two dirty martinis.”

  “Nice.” We clink glasses. “To best friends.”

  “And to the success you deserve.”

  Flynn leans forward and kisses my cheek. “I wouldn’t want to share it with anyone but you.”

  “Same here, Flynn.” After taking a sip of my drink, I dig into my food, happy that the tension we’ve had the past few days is over now, and we can get back to normal. As I chew my meal, I realize I’m the cause of all that tension, and I really don’t know why I’ve been acting so out of character lately. I do know that I need to knock it off before we both make a decision we can’t come back from.

  “Well?” Flynn asks, cutting into my thoughts. “How many stars do I get?”

  I smile at the handsome man beside me, thankful I can call him my friend. “Five delicious stars, Chef.”

  The next morning, after I finish teaching a kickboxing class, I walk back to my office when my phone rings. I smile when I see Rhys’s number pop up.

  “This is Brooklyn.”

  “Hey.”

  “Hi, Rhys.”

  “How are you?”

  “Good. You?”

  “Not bad. Thinking about you.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yep. I’d love to see you again. You available Wednesday night
?”

  “Sure. Dinner?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay.”

  “Great. Did Flynn see my article?”

  “Absolutely. We read it together last night. It was awesome.”

  “He deserved it. Has he been by the restaurant today?”

  “I’m not sure. He’s closed on Mondays.”

  “Well I drove by a little while ago and there was a crowd peeking through the windows.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep. It’s about to explode. Trust me on this. They call it the Rhys Effect.”

  “What’s it like having so much power?”

  Rhys chuckles. “Pretty fucking amazing.”

  “I bet.” I sit down at my desk. “You’re right though. Flynn deserves it. He’s worked hard for years to make a name for himself, and overnight, as they say, here it is.”

  “Glad I could be a part of it. Mostly because I met you.”

  “That’s kind of sweet.”

  “I can be.”

  “When you want something.”

  “Someone. Saturday night was amazing, Brooklyn. You left me wanting more.”

  “That was my plan.”

  “I bet. Did Flynn see us?”

  “He did.”

  “And?”

  “What?”

  “Did he say anything about it?”

  “Nope,” I reply deciding to keep the details private. “He’s seen it before.”

  “You getting fingered on your couch? I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

  I laugh. “I meant me hanging out with someone in our apartment. I’ve walked in on him before. It happens.”

  “Hmm, I don’t know why I find this so intriguing, but I do. I guess because I’ve never been friends with a woman, especially one that looks like you. Flynn’s strength is admirable.”

  More than he even knows. “So, Wednesday?”

  “Yeah. I’ll pick you up at eight again.”

  “Sounds good. See you then.”

  I hang up then sit back in my chair. I’m looking forward to seeing him again, and this time, I don’t think anyone’s leaving wanting more.

  Sitting next to Rhys, I look out the window as the car pulls up in front of a familiar building. I shoot Rhys a look.

  “Really?”

  “I wanted to eat here again when I wasn’t reviewing. Is that so wrong?”

  “Is that your only motivation?”

  He offers a falsely innocent smile. “What else?”

  “Fine. I’ll play along. Let’s go.”

  We walk inside Flynn’s and Melissa greets us, giving me knowing looks behind Rhys’s back as he checks us in.

  “It looks busy,” I say, once he joins me again.

  “I have a reservation under an alias.”

  “Clever.”

  We wait for a moment while Melissa goes into the kitchen to get Flynn. A moment later, he comes out to speak with us.

  “Hello,” he says, shaking Rhys’s hand. “Pleasure to see you again.”

  Rhys looks around the crowded dining room. “I see things have changed since last week.”

  “Very much so. Thank you for the gracious review.”

  “You earned my praise.” He puts his arm around my waist. “I thought it would be nice to eat here again with no ulterior motive.”

  “No pressure,” Flynn says, with a chuckle.

  “None, actually. I never review a place twice, no matter how many times I eat there and what experiences I have. It’s the only way I can truly enjoy myself.”

  “Smart.”

  “You’ll be just as impressed,” I say. “Flynn is consistent.”

  “I have no doubt,” Rhys says.

  “Would you care to sit at the chef’s table?” Flynn asks.

  “If you have room, that would be great,” Rhys answers.

  “There’s always room. Come on over.”

  Rhys walks to the table, and I fall behind with Flynn.

  “I didn’t know we were coming here,” I whisper.

  “I figured,” he says back. “It’s okay. I can handle it.”

  “I know you can.” Rhys turns back glancing at my hand on Flynn’s back. I quickly drop it and take my seat next to him.

  Once seated, Rhys lifts my hand to his lips and plants a sweet kiss on it, keeping his eyes locked on Flynn’s. “Bring us whatever you like, Chef. I look forward to it.”

  “Certainly,” Flynn says with a smile, but I know he’s agitated. I’ve seen that tense grin too many times. “Be right out.”

  Tonight should be interesting.

  Dammit! He’s fucking flaunting her in my face. He knows I want her. He fucking knows. I swing around when I feel a hand on my shoulder and see Melissa.

  “You okay?” she asks.

  “Yeah. I’m good.” I look over to my sous chef. “Tim, start preparing the salmon special. Rhys Camden is here again.”

  “Got it, Chef.”

  I look back at Melissa who lingers in front of me. “What?”

  “Can I do anything to help?”

  “You can watch the fucking front like you’re supposed to.”

  “You just seem upset.”

  “I’m not. I wasn’t expecting him again. I’m just tense.”

  Her eyes soften as a smile spreads across her lips. “Maybe I can help with that.”

  “How?”

  She runs her hand down my arm. “However you want, Chef.”

  I realize what she’s offering. She’s a pretty girl, and I’ve definitely noticed how she lingers and stares at me.

  “That’s nice of you, Mel, but I don’t eat where I shit.” I look past her. “Don’t you need to be up front?”

  “Candy’s up there, and it’ll only take a few minutes. You don’t have to do a thing.”

  I step closer, towering over her. “What are you saying? You want to give me a blow job in the middle of dinner service?”

  “Yep.” She smiles running her fingers over my name on my jacket. “It’ll relax you and make my dreams come true.”

  “And then?”

  “And then we’ll go back to normal like nothing ever happened. I know you won’t date me, and I’m okay with that. I just want to make you happy even if it’s just for a few minutes.”

  I gaze into her big, brown eyes, thinking about her offer. If she didn’t work for me, I wouldn’t hesitate, but she does. If I take her up on her offer, I’ll need to find a way to get rid of her and she’s good at her job. Looking away, my mind shifts to Rhys and Brooklyn and how he’ll have his hands on her later. I look back at Melissa as she waits expectantly for a reply.

  “I won’t tell anyone,” she says, softly. “Especially Brooklyn.”

  “Let’s do it.”

  Sipping my wine, my eyes roam the restaurant. This is awkward, but I’m not sure why. I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe because I’ve never come here on a date.

  “What’s on your mind, Brooklyn?”

  I glance back at Rhys. “Nothing important. Just wondering what’s for dinner.”

  “Hmm, I was wondering what’s for dessert.”

  “I’m sure you could have the panna cotta again.”

  “That’s not what I want.” He leans closer to me, softly kissing my lips. “I want you.”

  “I know you do.”

  “And?”

  “We’ll see how it goes.”

  “Fair enough.” He sits back in his seat and takes a sip of wine. “Tell me, how’d you get started in fitness?”

  I set my wine glass down. “I was chubby in college, and I dated a guy that was into fitness. We started working out together, and I saw how my body transformed and how good I felt. That was it. I was addicted and wanted to help people feel as good as I did.”

  “Nice. When did you open your studio?”

  “About the same time Flynn opened this.”

  He nods. “How did you get so popular? My associate says classes are always full and people clamor for an opening
. Especially the classes you teach.”

  “Word of mouth, a few celebrities here and there.” I grin. “And about a year ago, I did a photo shoot.”

  “Photo shoot?”

  “Yeah, nude.” His eyes open wide. “Well, nude but artfully so. Nothing actually showing, but it was a celebration of feminine strength. The guy I was dating was a photographer and asked me to be in it. It was a huge spread in a prominent magazine. He listed my name and studio and boom, success.”

  Rhys chuckles. “I’d like to see those pictures.”

  “I’ll show you. I was hot.”

  “Are still hot.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You ever been in a serious relationship?”

  “Nope. Not interested.”

  “Why?”

  “Why should I pick just one when there are thousands, millions of people in the world. I think staying with one person is boring.”

  “So you never want to get married or have kids. Nothing like that?”

  “No. God, no.” I sip my wine in disgust. “My career is everything I need, with the occasional penis thrown in for good measure.”

  “So, that’s all I am to you? A minor distraction.”

  “Basically, yes.”

  Rhys nods. “I have to say you’re very different. I’m so used to women trying to get a ring. They like to attach themselves to me. I assume for money, prestige, or privilege.”

  “And your face. You’re fucking hot, Rhys.”

  He chuckles. “I appreciate that.”

  “I don’t need any of that stuff. I have it.” I laugh. “Well, except the privilege part. I can’t get into any restaurant in New York that I want like you can.”

  “True, but you can eat without being stared at. You can enter a room without scaring the shit out of people. You can enjoy a meal without expectation.”

  “Good point.” I rub his hand. “You seem sad.”

  “No.” He shakes his head. “I love my life. It’s perfect actually. I can do what I want, date who I want, eat where I want. I have a beautiful apartment and the sexiest woman in the city eating dinner with me. I’m good.”