If I Told You

by Jennifer Domenico

  “Maybe.”

  “I don’t know anything but what I’ve seen. Flynn could’ve used me last night, but he chose you.” She smiles. “So, maybe for the right person, for you, he knows more than you think.”

  “But this morning…” My words trail off. I don’t want to tell her what I just witnessed. “I’m sure he was just worried about me.”

  “Okay.” She nods. “I guess all I’m saying is maybe you’ve both been using other people because you never met someone that brought out something different.”

  “Yeah, maybe.”

  “And maybe, what you both need is right in front of your face.”

  I nod. “Maybe,” I repeat.

  “Just something to think about.”

  “Can two people like us really make a relationship work?”

  “What does that mean? What happened to you?”

  I don’t talk about it ever. Only Flynn knows. “Without details, let’s just say that my upbringing caused me not to trust men.”

  “You don’t trust Flynn?”

  “I do, but…” But what?

  Jill smiles as she rubs my hand. “There is no but. Right?”

  “I have to think about it some more.”

  “I hope it helped to talk. You always can if you need to.”

  Nodding, I turn toward my office. “I’m gonna go get some work done.”

  “No problem. I got it handled up here.”

  “Thanks for talking.”

  “Sure.”

  Walking back to my office I compare what Jill told me to what Flynn did. He lied about Rhys helping carry me to bed, and I have no idea why he would want me to believe something that didn’t happen. I pull my phone out of my pocket and call him.

  “Hey, Brooks,” he answers. “You okay?”

  “Yeah. I just talked with Jill and she said Rhys didn’t help you with me last night. You took me to my room, and he stayed with her.”

  “Yeah? I guess I forgot.”

  “You forgot?”

  “Yep.”

  “Are you protecting him?”

  “No. I just forgot how it went down. That’s all.”

  “Okay. I’m sorry.”

  “Nothing to be sorry about. I just forgot the details. I was drinking, too.”

  “Right. Okay. I’ll see you later.”

  “Hey?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Is Jill okay?”

  “Yeah, she’s fine.”

  “Cool. Are you?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” Seeing you with your dick in someone’s mouth doesn’t bother me. Why would I care about that?

  “Just, you know, this morning, and…”

  Taking a deep breath, I think about my next response. “Hey, you can do what you want. It was a surprise, but I get it. Who would turn down a free blow job?”

  “Right.” His voice is uncharacteristically soft. “So, I’ll see you tonight?”

  “Yeah.”

  “K. Have a good day, Brooks.”

  “You too.”

  I hang up and put my head on my desk, more confused than ever.

  A couple hours later, I finish my class and walk back to my office, only to be stopped in the lobby when Jill waves at me to get my attention.

  “Hey, Rhys,” I smile, walking toward him once I see him. “What are you doing here?”

  “Just thought I’d stop by. Jill said you were about done with your class.”

  “Just finished. Come on back.” He follows me to my office. “Sorry I’m sweaty.”

  Shutting my door, he walks toward me. “That’s okay. It’s kind of sexy.”

  “Is it?”

  “Yeah, just wish I was the cause.”

  “Of me being sweaty?”

  “Mm hmm.” He pulls me into his arms. “You know how badly I want you?”

  “Why didn’t you go for it last night?”

  “Because you were drunk. Because Jill and Flynn were watching.” He grins. “Mostly because you were drunk. I would have no problem fucking you in front of people.”

  Putting my arms around his neck, I play with his hair. “You’ve made that clear.”

  “I’d be proud of it.”

  I smile. “You’re sweet.”

  “I’m not sweet, Brooklyn, but I am turned on by you. Constantly. When will you give in? How much longer do I have to wait?”

  I run my hand down his cheek as he closes his eyes. I need to distract him. “Kiss me.”

  Our lips press together as Rhys squeezes my ass in his strong hands. Shoving me against my desk, he reaches between my legs rubbing me through my workout pants. I respond by grabbing his bulge that quickly hardens in my hand. As he kisses my neck, he tugs at my tank until my tits are exposed, then sucks hard on each nipple. I throw my head back, reveling in the pleasure. Then he yanks on my pants, but I stop him.

  “I’m sweaty,” I whisper.

  “I don’t care. I need a taste.”

  “No way.”

  “Then let me finger you. Let me touch you, baby. Please.”

  I nod. “Mm hmm. Okay.”

  Rhys shoves his hand down my pants and slides two fingers inside of me as I grind against his hand. His mouth roams over my neck, my chest, my mouth. Oh fuck. This is awesome.

  “Baby,” Rhys whispers. “Please. I need to fuck you.”

  I open my eyes and gaze into his looking back at me. No way. I can’t. Not yet. Thinking quickly, I slide off the desk and onto my knees, then unbutton his slacks, sucking him into my mouth before he has time to object.

  “Oh, fuck,” he groans, twisting his fingers in my hair. “Shit.”

  I work on him, keeping my eyes closed. I twist my hands around his shaft, sucking and shoving him down my throat. I feel his legs tense then move away as he spurts all over my chest and neck. Leaning back on my knees, I watch him flinch several times as he releases his load. When his eyes open, he kneels down in front of me. Dragging his finger down my soiled tank, he smiles.

  “You are unbelievable. So fucking perfect, Brooklyn.” He kisses me softly. “Thank you.”

  “I’m happy to do it.”

  “Just one question.”

  “Sure.”

  “Why won’t you let me fuck you? What kind of game is this?”

  “No game, Rhys. I just don’t want our first time to be in my office.”

  He nods, keeping his eyes fixed on mine. “Then come over tonight. Let me do this right.” He cups my cheek. “I can be good for you, Brooklyn. Give me a chance to show you.”

  “Okay,” I agree, not finding a suitable reason not to.

  Rhys smiles. “Good. I’ll cook for you. We’ll talk and then, I hope, you’ll come to my bed.”

  I nod, forcing a smile. “That sounds nice.”

  He kisses me softly, then helps me to my feet, offering me the towel on my desk. “I made a mess of you.”

  “It’s okay. I needed a shower anyway.”

  “You still smell so good. You look good. I’m positive you would taste good.”

  “Later.”

  Kissing me once more, he smiles against my mouth. “See you soon, gorgeous.”

  “Okay.”

  He leaves and I lean back against my desk. I’m running out of reasons not to sleep with him, and he’s running out of patience. What exactly am I waiting for? Flynn? That’s not gonna happen. Rhys is a good guy. He’s sexy, charming, so hot. His dick is amazing. There’s no reason not to go all in with him. No reason at all.

  Using the towel to clean myself up, I nod to myself. I’ve made up my mind. Tonight is Rhys’s night.

  Sitting on the couch, I look up from my computer when Brooklyn comes out of her room. Freshly showered, she looks amazing in a pair of tight jeans and a leather top that shows off her toned stomach. I can see her nipples pressing against the top and know she’s not wearing a bra. Her long blonde hair is wild and wavy and the only makeup she wears is bright red lipstick. She’s a fucking badass.

  “Date?” I ask
.

  She sits next to me, nodding, as she puts her stiletto heeled feet on the coffee table. “Yep. Rhys is having me over.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Dinner and whatever.”

  “And whatever?”

  She nods. “I’m running out of reasons.”

  “Reasons for what?”

  “Not to have sex with him.”

  I perk up. “You haven’t yet?”

  “No.”

  “Oh. I just assumed after seeing you guys on the couch that time.”

  “We’ve just messed around. He came by the studio today and wanted to in my office.”

  “I see.”

  “I put him off a little longer, but he wonders why I’m holding out still.”

  “Why are you?”

  She shakes her head. “I’m not sure. I’ve been wondering about it all day.”

  “Yeah,” I murmur.

  “I think I’m just gonna do it.”

  “Do it?”

  She looks hard at me. “Dick is dick, right?”

  My heart feels like it just exploded in my chest. “Right.,” I reply, trying to play it cool.

  “I’m sure he’ll be good at it.”

  “Hopefully.”

  She takes my hand in hers, entwining our fingers together. “Do you know why I’m not

  excited?”

  “No.” I look at her and play with a lock of her hair. “Do you know why I don’t want to

  fuck Melissa or Jill?”

  “Nope.”

  I do. Why don’t I tell her? Why don’t I look her in the eye and ask her to stay with me

  tonight? Why don’t I pick her up and take her to my room? Why?

  “Well, I guess I’ll get going. I feel like I’m giving up my virginity or something.”

  I laugh. “It’s not that serious.”

  “I know.” She leans over and kisses my cheek. “You should find someone for tonight. Don’t you have any standbys or something.”

  “Why would I do that?”

  She shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s not fair if only one of us is getting laid tonight.”

  Her words stab at my heart and a sudden surge of anger hits me. “Would it make you feel better, Brooks? If I put my dick in someone tonight?”

  I watch her eyes cool. “Maybe it would make you feel better.”

  “I don’t feel bad.”

  “No? Then why the scene with Mel this morning?”

  “Can’t a guy just get a blow job when someone offers?”

  She stands, narrowing her eyes. “Whatever. I need to go.”

  “Have fun.”

  She nods. “I will.” Flipping her hair off her shoulder, she flashes a grin full of venom. “At least I know he eats great pussy. He’ll stay down there until I’m literally begging him to stop.”

  I narrow my eyes. She wants to play. “Good for you,” I reply, resisting the urge to shut her down by asking her if she plans to say my name again.

  “And this morning when I sucked him off in my office, I realized what a huge cock he has. I probably won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”

  I shake my head. We always talk this way about sex, but now it’s tinged with something else. She wants me to be jealous. She wants to piss me off, and it’s working.

  “Again, good for you, Brooks.”

  “Good for me? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  “Wrong with me? You’re the one talking shit.”

  “I’m just talking like we always do.”

  “Yeah, okay. Why don’t you go now? You don’t want to keep your food critic waiting.”

  “No I don’t.”

  As she picks up her jacket, visions of her in Rhys’s arms flash through my mind. I can’t fucking stand it. Without thinking I rush to her, pull her into my arms and smash my lips against hers. I kiss her hard, not letting either of us come up for air. She responds by pressing against me and running her fingers through my hair. Swinging her around, I move backwards until she’s against the wall. She lifts her legs around my waist, grinding her hips against my dick.

  “Fuck, Brooklyn,” I whisper against her mouth. Pulling back slightly, I look deep into her eyes. They seem to encourage me. This is it. We’re doing it. Moving in to kiss her again, I’m interrupted by her ringing phone.

  She looks down at it. “It’s him. Rhys.” As soon as she says his name, I see the reality hit her. I release her, and she fixes her hair while she lets it ring. “I forgot for a minute.”

  “Me too.” I step back. “I just, uh, lost control. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “You’re wrong. We both needed you to do that.” Her phone rings again, and she looks down at it. “I better answer.”

  I walk away as she answers, resuming my position on the couch. I kissed her, and this time she definitely didn’t look at me like I was her brother. This time there was passion and intensity. This time I was five minutes away from being inside of her. Now I have to let her go, and wonder if she’ll still fuck him tonight. If she does, I wonder if she’ll wish it was me instead. I look up at her as she talks to him. I wonder if she wasn’t with him if we’d still be doing this. Maybe I just want her so much because he does. I don’t even fucking know anymore.

  She hangs up and picks up her jacket again. “I need to go. Dinner’s getting cold.”

  “Okay.” I wring my hands. “If you let him tonight, I don’t want to know.”

  “Flynn…”

  “I know it’s wrong of me to be jealous. I don’t even know why I am, but I’m working on that right now. I just don’t want to know, but I understand if you do. It was wrong of me to come at you like that.”

  She walks over to me and bends down kissing me softly on the mouth. “Whether it was right or wrong, that was the best kiss of my life, Flynn.”

  I watch her walk out then fall back against the couch. Mine too.

  Sitting in the cab on the way to Rhys’s house, I replay the kiss in my mind over and over. I knew he wanted me, and he just proved it. Staring out the window, I wonder what I should do now. Nothing’s resolved. Flynn wants me physically, but there’s no way he’s ready emotionally. He just told me as much this morning. If we sleep together now, it’ll just make everything weird and tense. Maybe we won’t even be able to live together anymore. I couldn’t bear it. I can’t lose Flynn even if it means never touching him again.

  When we pull up in front of Rhys’s, I put my game face on. It’s not fair to treat him any less than the great guy he’s been. Twisting my neck back and forth, I put Flynn’s kiss out of my mind, a smile on my face, and ring the doorbell.

  “Hey, gorgeous,” Rhys says when he answers, kissing my cheek.

  “Sorry I’m late. Lost track of time.”

  “Nothing to be sorry for. You’re worth the wait. Come on in.”

  “Thanks.”

  I walk in to a very high end apartment, but then I expected that from its Central Park address. Everything is perfectly in place, and it looks like some kind of fancy home magazine layout. In the dining room is a huge table with two settings laid out and lit by candles.

  “Please sit,” Rhys says.

  “Thank you.”

  I sit, noticing how nervous I am. This isn’t like me. Sex is my thing. It’s my stress release. This is what I do.

  “Something bothering you?” he asks.

  “No.” I smile. “I’m totally fine.”

  “Good. Be right back.”

  I pour myself a glass of wine and wait the few minutes until Rhys returns with two plates.

  “Chicken piccata,” he announces. “Hope you like it.”

  “I’m sure I will.”

  Rhys takes a seat then lifts his wine glass clinking it against mine. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Me too.”

  Turning my attention to my meal, I cut into my chicken, thinking about the rest of the evening, last night, and what the fuck I plan to do.

  “So, last night…” I begin, trail
ing off.

  “Yeah?”

  “I passed out?”

  “Pretty much.” He smiles. “Disappointing to say the least.”

  “Yeah. I get like that with Patron.”

  “So I’ve learned.” He takes a bite of his chicken. “I’m not sure what you remember or what Flynn told you, but he took you to your room last night.”

  “I heard.”

  “I’ll be honest, that’s not what I wanted. I offered, but he insisted, and I didn’t want a scene.”

  “He insisted?”

  “He did. He said he knew how to handle you when you were passed out.”

  “I see.” I chew my chicken. “I guess I’m surprised you let it go so easily.”

  “As I said, I didn’t want a scene.” He puts his fork and knife down. “I guess I don’t know if I still believe you two are just friends. Last night, I noticed some shared glances.”

  “Glances?” I look up, sipping my wine.

  “Between you and Flynn.”

  “Well I don’t remember any of it. I remember kissing Jill and then that’s it.”

  Rhys nods. “Did Flynn tell you how you stripped in front of us?”

  “Yep. Another Patron side effect.”

  “You should’ve seen his face. He wanted you. We all did. Even Jill.”

  “Naked women tend to cause that in people.”

  “I suppose so, yes. I think he was happy when you passed out. Then he knew you wouldn’t be with me.”

  “What are you getting at?”

  “Just sharing my observation.”

  “Okay, well I can’t do anything about what Flynn wants or thinks. I shouldn’t have had so many shots knowing how it affects me, plus all the wine at dinner.”

  He nods. “I’m just trying to figure something out about you.”

  “What?”

  “Either you just talk a lot of shit or you’re avoiding sex with me. Which is it?”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “You come across as this sexually independent woman. You’ve told me to my face that I’m just in your life for your pleasure, yet nothing’s happened.”

  “I wouldn’t say nothing.”

  “You know what I mean, Brooklyn. What’s going on with you? I’m doing everything I can to show you a good time and prove I’m not just an in and out kind of guy. So why do you resist? What else do you need? Tell me and it’s yours.”