Berserk

by K. S. Adkins

  “You are so fucking sexy when you kick my ass.”

  “You should see me when I’m trying.”

  For the next few hours we practice basic maneuvers. To say he’s a natural is an understatement. Max was born for battle, for me. And when he finally taps into it and pins me for real, I fall in love with him even harder. He is stepping outside his comfort zone for me, for this, and I can never put into words how that makes me feel. I never wanted this life for him, but there is something in this life is gunning for him, and his safety comes first, always.

  When he helps me up he kisses me hard, and I kiss him back. Picking me up by my ass I wrap my legs around him for security and he walks me over to the picnic table and sets me down.

  “You missed your calling,” I tell him.

  “No,” he says back. “I missed my wife.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah,” he says. “She’s my calling.”

  After an intense make-out session that has me more worked up than our workout did, I take a shower in hopes I can cool off, and that he’ll join me, making sure I didn’t. When I came back down he looks thoughtful, and when I asks him why he throws me off balance like he always does. Another thing about him is he is the most sincere person I have ever met.

  “Have I ever told you how proud I am?”

  “No,” I say honestly. “But I knew you were, so the words didn’t matter.”

  “You told me every time we talked how proud of me you were, and I wasn’t even doing anything to be proud of. I was just spending my father’s money. You, though. Shit Blue, you make a difference.”

  “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

  “Because I should have followed you,” he says, pulling me onto his lap. “You’ve always been my home, and I didn’t come home.”

  “I’m here now,” I tell him, kissing his neck. “I’m home for now.”

  “If you do leave,” he says, “I’m going with you. I meant what I said. I have to be with you, Blue.”

  “Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it, okay?” I tell him. “I don’t see myself leaving anytime soon, plus right now I’m really happy right where I am.”

  “If I thought I could move my arms and legs I’d have you under me and screaming already,” he says, kissing my shoulder. “I think I’m going to need a few days to recover.”

  “You get a few hours, Max.” I giggle. “Then it gets really fun.”

  “Your idea of fun and mine are seriously miles apart.”

  “If it’s the last thing I do,” I whisper, “I’ll close the distance.”

  Kissing me deep is his way of agreeing with me. Although I don’t think he really understood what I was trying to say when I said it, and I decided that it was time to show him instead.

  “Weakness will be exploited,” he says from behind his desk. “You need to rule your business with an iron fist.”

  Although I disagree with him, I don’t argue. My business is just fine, and my employees are fine, too. “That DJ brings in a crowd, but there is something off about her.”

  Again, I say nothing. When it comes to Venessa I can only speculate. But he is right, something is off about her. But it isn’t any of my business.

  “Has the whore seen what you’ve built?”

  “Enough,” I warn him, leaning over his desk. It’s rare I speak up, even more rare I raise my voice to him.

  “You don’t intimidate me son,” he says, laughing. “Hell, that whore is more intimidating than you are.”

  Jules as a teacher is fucking brutal. She’s good, though; great, actually. She seems pleased by my performance, and honestly, the fact that I’m catching on at all shocks me. I’ve never been all that coordinated, but now with some training and her guiding me I not only feel stronger, I finally feel the strength I always had but chose to ignore. As a teenager I grew almost overnight. Crashing into people, knocking shit over, stepping on girls’ toes when I tried dancing with them. After years of that shit, I just started keeping myself. Then wanting a change I bought a bike, started spending time here, and found her.

  Now this little firecracker is teaching me to use my size, and it’s working. I also tell her that I love her every chance that I get. I need her to not just hear it, but know it. For all the years it wasn’t said, I wanted to make up for it. She isn’t saying it back, but it’s there, I can feel it. For now, that’s enough. Tomorrow we’re spending the day at Lush. I’ve got inventory to do, a cleaning crew to let in, bills to pay, and a call to my father to make. Tonight, though, I’m taking her to see Bishop. She said he wouldn’t stay in a bed willingly, and she was right. He calls every hour on the hour demanding she free him, and she finally gave in.

  Grabbing his bag and essentials we load up my car and head over to spring Bishop. She’s excited to see him, and I am, too. I don’t know the guy well, but he took bullets for my wife, had kept her safe, and loves her for who she is. I can’t fault the guy for that. And let’s be honest, he’s into cock, so for me he’s no longer a threat.

  As soon as we get to his floor she’s almost running to get to him. Jules is a fairly mellow person; I’ve only seen her excited a few times. Our wedding day, my visits to see her, and now seeing him. The second we enter the room his face lights up for her.

  “Look at you, you lazy fucker,” she says, kissing him on the cheek. “Booked your flight, grabbed your shit, and now I’m ready to tell your sorry ass goodbye.”

  “You’ll miss me and my lazy ass and you know it,” he says, sitting up slowly. Looking over at me he winks, and I roll my eyes. “Find my replacement yet?” he asks.

  “Max here stepped in, matched my shots, and even pinned me, too.”

  “Yeah? You let him?” he asks, and when she narrows her eyes he laughs while holding his gut. “No shit, he really did pin you then? Well fuck, I hoped he had it in him.”

  “He does,” she says, looking back at me smiling . Yeah, my chest puffed up.

  “Signed out yet?” I ask him, taking a chair on the opposite side of his bed.

  “Yeah, just waitin’ on you two lovebirds to get me outta here. Need to be at the airport in two hours, so you can feed me real food on the way there.”

  “Bishop,” she says, sitting next to him on his bed. “I won’t say it, you know I won’t but yeah.”

  “I know, Boss,” he says back. “You ain’t gotta say shit.”

  “You two speak your own language,” I announce. “Let’s get you a wheelchair so I can run you into some walls.”

  “Look whose balls dropped since last I saw him.” He laughs. “Run me into a wall, I kick your ass.”

  “I would never hit the handicapped.”

  Jules laughs long and loud making my gut drop and my heart race. I haven’t heard that laugh in too many years. Once we are cursed out for my accidently bumping him into the wall a couple times, we manage to get him in the car, fed, and to the airport. Refusing our help any further, I stayed back and watch an emotional goodbye between the two before he makes his way over to me.

  Giving me the universal man shake he leans in and reminds me of what’s at stake. “Watch her back at all times, my man,” he says. “She’ll only be watching yours and leaving herself exposed. You got threats coming in from all sides, so keep your fuckin’ eyes open. You need the team you make that fuckin’ call; I’ll be watchin’ from DC.”

  Nodding to him, he gives me a smirk a return. “You’re all right, for a civvie,” he says. “Make her a good husband, too. You know what happens if you don’t? Pain.”

  Giving her one last hug and kiss he waves us off, and we lose sight of him through the doors. Buckling back up I watch her stare out the window even as we drive away. “He’s going to be fine,” I tell her. “He loves you a lot.”

  When she doesn’t say anything I do what I can to get her to open up. “I told you he set me straight; he told me he’s never seen you happy. He said he wondered who you were waiting for. All these years, were you always waiting for
me?”

  When she looks down at her lap and whispers “Yes,” I grab her hand, content to hold it. I don’t let go until we’re back at my house and in the driveway. Even though what I really want to do was pull over and fuck her on the side of the street.

  “We need a break,” he says, falling on the cot. “Seriously, ain’t you tired yet?”

  “I need to try something new. I’m going to try for Special Forces,” I tell him. “I think I’d be good at it.”

  “Heard something about that,” he says, sitting up. “I’m gonna do one long tour, then I’m out. What’s our plans for after? We gonna get some cats and be those people?”

  Laughing, I sit next to him. “Whatever we do,” I tell him, opening my duffel, “we do it together.”

  “Right on, Boss.”

  Once we were home and settled I was too shaken by my goodbye with Bishop to be intimate with Max. I felt bad about it because I’ve missed so much time with him, but I didn’t want to be joined with him while I was worried about another man. In the interest of fairness, I told him as much, and he understood. So when we got into bed and we talked ourselves to sleep I was content with that, too. Seeing as that’s never happened before I enjoyed every second of his time.

  When we woke up we showered, had coffee, and by the way he was distancing himself I knew that going to the club and calling his father was bothering him. The ride there was quiet; we listened to WRIF and I looked out the window. The only talk we made was me asking what happened to Drew & Mike and him telling me they were replaced by Dave & Chuck the freak which made no sense because they were on 89X and I preferred them there so once he explained why, I tuned it out altogether. I decided all good things come to an end eventually and reminded myself to renew my Sirius subscription when I got back home. Once we got in, he grabbed what he needed to do inventory, but instead of getting straight to it he pulled me into his arms and kissed me hard on the mouth.

  “That’s more I like it.” I tell him, grabbing his ass in return.

  “I know I’m being an asshole, but you know I don’t like you anywhere near him, even if it is over the phone,” he says, massaging me. “How do you feel about taking a ride on my bike again?”

  “Yes!” I say, kissing him again. “Please! Oh my god, I missed your bike!”

  Laughing then, pulling me tighter. Kissing me deeper, he backs me up until my ass is hitting his desk. Wrapping my legs around him like I always do, it’s when we both hear a throat clear that I let me legs drop and we both turn.

  “It’s about time you took out the trash and went window shopping,” says Hank, but then when he gets a good look at me his sarcasm turns to hate “I thought you said you were divorcing her, son?”

  When I stiffen he looks down at me and gives me a look. I get it; we’ll discuss it later. Doesn’t mean I’m not fucking hurting right now. “I was just getting ready to call you,” he says, letting me go. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

  “I can see what you were expecting, Maxwell, and by now I had thought you’d have learned your lesson. I had hoped in time some things would change.”

  “̓Sup, Hank,” I say, pissing him off. He always railed me about my English. “How the hell you been?”

  “I can see now that some things will never change,” he says, sneering at me. “Staying long this time? Don’t you have terrorists to kill or dumpsters to pick from?”

  Not letting him get a reaction from me I smile, standing to my full height, which is sadly rather short, but my ego doesn’t know that. “I was just about to get nailed before you walked in. Care to come back later? I mean seriously, Hank, it’s been a while.”

  “You’re disgusting.”

  “Your balls are probably sagging.”

  “How’s your mother?”

  “Dead.”

  “Shame.”

  “Enough,” growls Max “Why are you here?”

  “I am an owner,” he spats. “Interesting thing looking over surveillance and seeing your wife and some hired thug making themselves at home in your office. You need to work on your skills, daughter.”

  “I suppose that’s true if I was trying to hide them, Daddio.”

  “Get rid of her,” he demands, “as you promised you would, or you will lose everything, as I promised. I’ve been patient long enough. I’ll not have trash tainting this family any longer.”

  Having heard enough I jump off his desk, stepping right up into Hank’s space. See, the sneaking in was for a reason, and the motherfucker is standing right in front of me. Him showing up here was even more than I had hoped for. Like I didn’t know he had a secondary line and a guy who monitored the feeds? Please…

  “Here’s the thing, Pops,” I say, ignoring Max’s attempts to pull me back. “You were tainting this family long before I was. Since we’re talking trash, would you care to let Max in on your little secret?”

  “You don’t know who you’re messing with, slut.”

  “Motherfucker, you know exactly who you’re messing with,” I say, leaning in. “You think a uniform is going to be what kills me?” When he blanches, I continue. “I’ve had your number since the day he told me who he was. I see the fear in your eyes, old man. Give me a reason to bring the rain; I will end you. The days of you holding money over his head are done. Nothing you could do worked; we’re still together. Back the fuck off. Feel me?”

  Stepping away from me like I’m diseased, he fixes his stare on Max and issues his own order. “Do it, Maxwell, or lose it all.” Then he leaves as quickly as he came.

  “What the fuck was that?” Max asks, looking ten shades of pissed off. “Why would you provoke him like that? What the fuck is going on that you’re not telling me?”

  “You were going to divorce me?”

  Flinching, he shakes his head. “I never said I would or wouldn’t. I told you I was a coward then, but not anymore, so no fucking way am I divorcing you. I did what I could to hold him off as long as I could. If I couldn’t find you I couldn’t divorce you.”

  “That’s why you never came for me?”

  “I’m not proud of it, but yeah that’s part of it,” he says, looking miserable. “I did this for us, hoping one day when he was out of the way I’d be able to give you a life. With me.”

  “Max,” I whisper. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “How would I have done that? Would you have heard me?”

  “I’d like to say I would have, but in truth, I don’t know,” I tell him. “What I do know is we’re here now, and it’s time I bring you in like a true partner.”

  “That means what?”

  “It means I tell you everything,” I explain. “Especially the shit you don’t want to hear.”

  Rubbing his hands over his head he levels me with his eyes and then nods, giving me the okay. This is the part where I tear Max’s life apart. This is the part that could make or break us.

  This is my past, present and future colliding.

  Waking up in her apartment after a long nap, I can smell something… burning? Making my way toward her tiny, galley-style kitchen I come up behind her and smile when she tilts her neck to the side, exposing it to me.

  “Mmm,” I groan. “Are you burning up for me?”

  Laughing loud, I can feel her body shaking with humor. “I’m so hot, I can’t believe the smoke detectors haven’t gone—”

  Then they did, which made her laugh even louder. Walking over to each one I disabled them; then it was eerily quiet. Putting the batteries on the counter I ask her, “What’s that look for?”

  “It’s not fair,” she says, wiping the tears from laughing from her eyes. “I have to put two phone books on a chair to get those, and you can just reach up and boom, done.”

  “Are you pouting?”

  “Maybe?” she says smiling. Then starts rolling around on the floor laughing all over again.

  Watching her take on my father had me frozen. He’s actually afraid of her when he’s afraid of no one. Wanting to protec
t her, I almost pulled her back, but my wife wasn’t having it. Had he touched her I’d have torn him apart, but instead she played him, and whatever she saw there sealed his fate.

  Sitting in my chair, she sits in front of on my desk with her feet in my lap. Taking a deep breath, I know it’s now or never. I wanted to be her partner, and this is my official test.

  “Hank used to fuck my mother.”

  “Jesus.”

  “You want to know why he hated me on sight, that’s why. Believe it or not, he begged her to move in with him at this house he bought, but she refused. She liked her freedom and her choice of men. Hank visited my mother often, which was why I stayed out on the streets. We didn’t get along from the start. You brought me home, Hank saw me, and there you go. Once we were married he’d send men to fuck with me, and finally when his men came home in worse shape than they left, I’m guessing that’s when he decided if he couldn’t run me off; you’d need to do it.”

  “I didn’t know.”

  “I know you didn’t, Max,” she says. “But that’s not all you don’t know.”

  “There’s more? Fuck.”

  “That shooter? The fuckbag with a crowbar? He’s a uniform. Well, he won’t be much longer, but he was when he attacked us.”

  “You think Hank had something to do with that?”

  “Max, I know he did,” she says. “And once Rafe gets me more intel, I’ll have proof.” Reaching into her bag she pulls out a file tossing in front of me on my desk. Opening it I look at the highlighted portions first, followed by photo after photo of Hank proving he had his hands in whatever pots he could put them in. The photos are dated all the way back to when she was a kid. Even then she didn’t trust him. How did I not see this? But it’s when I get toward the end that I see the dates and photos of the men he sent after her. I know these motherfuckers. They come to the club, they spend money here, and my father paid them to hurt my wife. My mind is on overload. This information and the cop who shot Bishop and attacked her are proof he’s insane. My own father is trying to kill my wife.