“I'VE NEVER HEARD of you,” Alecia interrupted.
“Shhh, let her talk,” Catara retorted.
ANYWAY, BECAUSE I was a member of the Olympic team, I was often invited to events attended by the finest athletes in the country, as well as by coaches and sponsors. And let me tell you, the men who attended those events were fine, physically fit, and wealthy or on their way to riches.
During the Olympic trials that year, I was badly injured and couldn't compete. I was devastated. I would venture to say that it was the lowest I'd ever fallen emotionally. I had no money, no self-esteem, and because that injury marked the end of my gymnastic career, I felt like I had no identity.
“Because I was on the 'in' list at one time, it took a while for my name to fall off, so I continued to receive various invitations to parties and social events that took place up until years after the Olympics.”
“WAIT A MINUTE, wait a minute,” Tanya interrupted. “It's good that you were this great gymnast, but how are you just gonna change the subject about relationships, just to let us know?”
“I haven't changed the subject. Just stay with me,” Elise assured her. “Now, where was I?” she thought out loud. “Okay …”
FOR YEARS I had been down in the dumps, with no motivation for getting up. Shortly after graduating from college, I received an invitation to a party that I'd hoped for years to go to. No matter how depressed I felt, I was going to the party. It was right in my city. I had to go. It was during the Kentucky Derby, and anybody who was anybody was in town.
So I did my female thing and got my hair and makeup together and found my best party dress and motivated myself to go. I had convinced myself that if I wasn't going to be a great athlete, then I would find one, marry him, and ride on his thunder.
Just as I'd hoped, I met a guy and instantly fell for his status and position. He was one of the few black men who owned a racehorse. The man was mature, wealthy, and well respected in his circles. I ran into him, literally, when I was coming out of the ladies' room at the hotel.
We hit it off instantly. His ranch was in Lexington, but he also had a home in Louisville. We went out a few times whenever he was staying in Louisville, but it wasn't until our third date that I found out he was married. I was appalled, hurt, and brokenhearted.
There was very little back then to be happy about, but when he was around, my worries seemed to disappear. I felt validated again. Nevertheless, I told him that I couldn't see him again, but he seemed unfazed by his being married. As a matter of fact, I even remember him saying, “I thought you knew.”
After that date, I avoided him like the plague. I didn't return his calls, so he stopped calling. Then one day I heard that his horse had been injured, so I called and left a message on his voice mail to extend my condolences.
The next day he called me, begging to see me. I resisted, but I guess I gave him just enough to feel like he could call me every day. I finally gave in and met him for dinner.
Now, let me inform you ladies that I was strapped for cash. My car was barely rolling, plus I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. This man pulls up in a brand-new Benz, and then, during dinner, he asks me to allow him to take care of me. He offered to lease an apartment for me, and buy me a new car and whatever else my heart desired. Believe me, back then my heart desired a number of things.
I told him no. I didn't want to disrespect his wife.
Then he asked me, “Can we go out for dinner some time when I'm in town? That would be harmless, right?”
I said, “I guess you're right.”
The next time we met for dinner, he came bearing gifts. He brought me a suit that totaled two thousand dollars. I knew the cost because I had to go back to the store and get it altered. I saw it hanging on the rack and looked at the price. Let me just say that my mind was blown. I'd never spent too much over a hundred dollars on any clothing item, and this man paid two thousand for one suit, just because!
After receiving that gift, I found myself dating him more often. I will admit I crossed over the line a bit. I had begun kissing him at the end of our dates—I mean really kissing him.
You all are women, so I know you can imagine the different scenarios I created in my mind, like being his mistress and not having to worry about money or success—I'd spend his money and enjoy his success. I was slowly becoming caught up.
One day I was asked to attend a society women's luncheon with a group I really admired, and I wore my suit. I felt the positive attention. I felt the eyes on my attire. I noticed the special treatment. Most of those women were swimming in money, and they knew that I had spent a pretty penny on my outfit.
I left that event feeling like a million bucks, but when I got into my car, it wasn't good enough for my suit. When I got back home to my apartment, it wasn't good enough for my suit. When I went out with the guy again, I felt like I didn't have anything good enough to wear. But, I pulled something together.
That evening at dinner, he again offered to take care of me. The part of me that was lacking, which was most of me at that time, wanted to say yes. But I resisted.
That night, after dinner, we got into his car, and he convinced me to ride around with him a bit. His car was so comfortable, so luxurious. We ended up in front of one of the nicest hotels in Louisville.
We parked. We were downtown and everything about being with him felt right. I loved everything about him, except for the fact that he was married.
He took my hand. “Elise, you know I'm crazy about you. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you.”
“I do. But you have a wife,” I reminded him.
“Listen, I'm not going to beat around the bush. I'm true to my game, but I want to take care of you, fulfill your dreams. I want to be there for you.”
Dollar signs were in my eyes. I couldn't think straight—and it was not just the money. This man was handsome and appealing. Without a doubt, I was turned on. Before I knew it, I was upstairs in a hotel room with him. The room was elegant. The bedding was soft. Everything that he offered me was luxurious. When he touched me, I shivered with lust. At that moment, I wanted him more than I wanted to be right. Plus, I hadn't had sex with a man in over a year.
As he undressed me, he painted a picture of all the nice things we would do together, of all the nice things he'd do for me.
I was hypnotized.
Once we were both nude, he asked me to go down on him.
That snapped me out of the trance. First of all, that had never been my thing, and second of all, I was just plain overwhelmed that it was the first thing he'd ask me to do.
“STOP THE PRESSES,” Tanya interrupted. “You don't like it?”
“It's okay, but I don't love it,” Elise said matter-of-factly. “But that's a whole other conversation.”
“Finish the story,” Louisa and Catara said in unison.
They laughed.
OKAY. WE WERE in this wonderful hotel room and I was ready to give myself to this man. Have you ever just needed to be close to a man? Well, that's where I was. I was craving him. I put his wife out of my mind because I had been without for so long, and I was in a need. He stepped to the plate, and I was going to let him give me any and everything he had to offer. That is, until he asked me to go down on him.
I looked around the room. I looked at him. I looked at the situation, and I had to escape. I found myself in a place that I swore I would never be.
I told him, “I can't do this.”
“We've got all night,” he whispered. “Take your time.”
I said, “No. I mean I can't be here like this. I've got to go.”
“Don't do this to me,” he begged.
“I have to go,” I said and got up and began getting dressed.
He reluctantly put on his clothes, and we went back to his car. We were silent during the drive back to my car. Once he pulled next to my car he said—and I'll never forget his words—“You need to decide what you're going to do.”
Th
e words clung to me. I needed to make a choice. After that, every time I went into my closet and saw that two-thousand-dollar suit, I began to dream again. I had to pray about it because it was a constant reminder of what I didn't have and what he could give to me, and of what I wanted from him and what I needed to do if I wanted to get it.
Eventually, I decided that I had to be real with myself and do what was best for the whole me. I couldn't let the material things that he offered me influence my life choices. One day, when I was so torn after one of our telephone conversations, I hung up from him and pulled the suit out from the closet.
It's amazing the power that he had over me, just by the suit being in my closet.
Y'all are going to say I'm crazy, but I wanted to get my power back, so I rummaged through my drawers and found a pair of scissors. I took those scissors to that suit and shredded it into tiny pieces. I gathered it into a bag and took it outside to the dumpster.
The next morning, when I heard the garbage truck outside my window, I smiled. A feeling of relief came over me. It was that day that I really began to think about who I was, what I wanted to accomplish, and what I wanted to leave behind.
I'm about to turn thirty. I've just opened my own gymnastics center. Every day I step foot in my gym, I touch a child's life. I've met a guy— a good guy—and I like him a lot. There are sparks between us, but we're taking things slow and getting to know each other. I'm not stressed about what I can get from him, not in the way that I used to be.
I'm sure I would eventually like a nice home and a nice car, but right now I am laying a foundation and building on it. I am confident that by taking my chosen route, whatever I involve myself in will not be as easily shattered as if I had taken the shallow route of living a life where nothing is truly pleasing to the heart.
ELISE SIGHED, A serious look on her face. Then she replaced it with a smile. “That's what I'm most proud of.”
Silence fell over the car. Elise's story had sent each woman into her own private thoughts. As honest as Elise had been, none felt they could have shared such a truth with complete strangers.
“Wow,” Louisa said. “Very well done. Thanks for your honesty and candidness.” She inhaled deeply, feeling like she had to say something. She hadn't expected that honest an answer to the question, but she was glad Elise offered it.
“We're coming up to the mall, ladies. I'll let you off out front,” Stan said as he maneuvered the limousine in front of the entrance. “Louisa and Jessica, you have my pager number. Just beep me when you're ready.”
Stan put the gear in park, then walked around to let the women out so they could indulge in their shopping spree.
HEN THE WOMEN walked through the entrance of the mall doors, an atmosphere of elegance and sophistication greeted them. People were going in and out of shops, while others admired the indoor ponds with koi swimming in them.
“I hope everybody has an idea of where they're going to go,” Louisa said. “Check your watches. Make sure everyone has the same time. Let's meet back here in exactly two hours. That's five-thirty. If you're not here, you get left. I'm serious, ladies—please be cognizant of the time.”
The women adjusted their watches.
“We can stay in a group or split up. It's up to you,” Louisa said.
The women compared the shops that they wanted to go to and decided that they would spend the first hour traveling together, and if they needed to, they'd separate during the last hour.
They paraded in and out of the various boutiques, trying on and purchasing clothes and accessories, including shoes, purses, and jewelry. They sampled and purchased perfumes, bath products, and makeup.
The women laughed and joked and gave suggestions to one another about what looked good and what didn't. They shopped well together and didn't want to separate as they began to run out of time, but they decided it would be best if they wanted to meet their deadline.
By five-thirty, everyone began to gather at the entrance. The first person there was Alecia, who had met up with Louisa and Jessica earlier. The two radio show employees had been allotted only five hundred dollars each and had finished fairly quickly. Everyone else fell in one by one. Elise and Lashawnda competed for being loaded down with the most bags. Catara had a handful, Tanya had three, and Alecia had one small bag.
“I can't believe you all made it back with time to spare. Did everybody have a good time?” Louisa asked.
“The best,” Elise said.
“Thank you so much, Louisa,” Lashawnda said. “You've made my year.”
“Girl, don't thank me, thank the station. This was a treat for me as well. I got three pairs of shoes and Jessica got a party outfit. What else?” Louisa asked.
“I got shoes, perfume, a nice pair of shades, and a cute little purse,” Jessica said enthusiastically.
“Is that all you got?” Lashawnda asked Alecia, who was carrying one bag.
“Yes,” she replied.
“You spent all your money on one item?” Elise asked, surprised.
“Yeah, I got a watch.”
“You got a thousand-dollar watch?” Lashawnda asked.
“Well, actually I put a few dollars with it to get it,” Alecia responded dryly.
“I couldn't have gone out like that,” Lashawnda said. “I got a little bit of everything.” She pointed to her bags on the ground beside her.
“So did I—and I caught some great sales,” Elise bragged. “What about you, Catara. What did you get?”
“Oh, glasses, a purse, a few pairs of shoes, and some bath products. Things like that,” she replied nonchalantly. She was not surprised, but still a bit frustrated, that she couldn't find any clothes in her size that were stylish enough.
“And what did you get, Tanya?” Elise asked.
“I got some clothes,” Tanya answered and abruptly looked away.
Jessica looked down at Tanya's bags and said, “Did you know that the store you got your clothes from is a maternity store?”
“Yes,” an annoyed Tanya answered.
“Oh, excuse me,” Jessica said, embarrassed that she had put her foot in her mouth.
Everybody in the group pretended to be looking out for Stan, except for Lashawnda, who just couldn't bite her tongue, especially in a tense situation.
“So how far along are you?” she asked.
“I just found out. I took a home pregnancy test a few days ago. I was in denial, but when I walked by the store, I couldn't help but go in.”
“So you're excited about it?” Lashawnda asked.
“I don't know how I feel about it,” Tanya replied.
“Here's Stan,” Catara announced.
The ladies gathered their things and walked toward the limousine. They put whatever bags could fit into the truck with their luggage. The rest they put inside with them.
“I'm bushed,” Alecia said as she slid into her seat.
“I'm sure everybody else is beat, because I'm tired myself,” Louisa said. “We're now headed to the spa. It's less than two miles from the hotel. They're going to stay open late just for us. We'll rotate between two estheticians, two masseuses, two hair stylists, and two nail technicians. You will also be able to get a body scrub as well.”
“What about dinner?” Elise asked.
“We'll eat in the hotel restaurant afterward, but they'll have hors d'oeuvres at the spa for us to munch on. So, everybody, sit back and relax until we get to the spa. It's about a fifteen-minute ride,” Louisa announced.
The ladies sat back and attempted to relax, with the exception of Lashawnda. She couldn't get Tanya's reaction about her newly discovered pregnancy out of her mind. She had so many questions and knew she wouldn't be able to relax until she asked them. She looked over at Tanya, who was sitting back with her eyes closed, just like everyone else—except Jessica, who was looking out the window at the sights.
Lashawnda kept staring until Tanya opened her eyes.
“I hope you don't mind, but I was wondering if
you've told your new baby's daddy?” she asked.
Eyes popped open around the car.
Initially Tanya was offended, but, she figured, why not talk? Elise had. After all, after the weekend she would never see these women again.
“No, I haven't.” She sighed.
“Are y'all in a committed relationship? Was it a one-night stand?” Lashawnda pushed.
“Well, if you have to know, he's been my boyfriend since my senior year in high school. I think we just broke up,” Tanya said and moved uncomfortably in her seat. “That's why I haven't told him.” Tanya could feel tears welling up, so she laid her head back and closed her eyes again.
“Man,” Lashawnda said. Her heart went out to Tanya. “So how do you feel about it?”
She couldn't hold back her feelings, “Didn't you ask me that question already?” she snapped.
“I apologize, Tanya. It's just that—”
Before Lashawnda could finish, Tanya interrupted, “How do I feel? I feel like shit! The man I've been with all my adult life chose money over me. Now I'm going to have to make it all alone, with a new baby, and I was hoping to move to Atlanta by the end of the year. Now I might be stuck in Chicago, raising a kid. It's not that I don't love Chicago, because I do—it's my home—but he and I talked about a fresh start in Atlanta, and I'm longing for that. It seems like I keep falling deeper into this situation and I don't see a way out.”
Tanya began to bawl uncontrollably. She'd been trying to hold it together, but talking forced the sting of reality on her.
“I'm so sorry, Tanya. I didn't mean to…” Lashawnda said.
“It's okay. Does somebody have a tissue?” Tanya asked, wiping away her tears with her fingers.
Louisa knocked on the window to the front seat, “Stan, are there any tissues back here?”
He opened the window, “Here you go,” he said and handed her a box.
Louisa held the tissues out for Tanya. She grabbed a few and began to wipe her face.
Tanya blew her nose. “I'm a thirty-year-old woman, and I am scared.”
The Night Before Thirty Page 15
