“Well then, I guess I am capable of not being a jerk, after all.”
“I know that,” I said quietly. “You were wonderful the night we met.” He sighed and looked down at the floor, shaking his head.
“You know, I can’t help thinking, if that TV hadn’t been on during breakfast, the last couple of weeks would have been really different.”
So you might have actually liked me, if you didn’t know everything. Wow, that hurts.
“Well, thank goodness you dodged that bullet, right?” I asked sarcastically, pretending that I was laughing it off. He smiled at me sadly, but didn’t say anything, so I reached behind me and opened the door. I stepped out onto the porch and then turned to face him where he stood resting against the door frame.
“Camdyn, there’s a lot that I want to say to you, but I know you’re cold, and it’s late,” he said, making a halfway attempt at a smile. I glanced down at the porch and wrapped my arms around myself protectively.
“Another time, then?” I suggested. “Thank you for dinner, and everything else. It was fun.” He nodded and let out a big sigh.
“Good night, Camdyn.”
“Good night,” I told him, making my way down the steps and over to my car through the cold night air. As I turned my car around, I looked in my rear view mirror to see him still standing there in the doorway, and I wondered if I was leaving all my hopes behind at that house. If Cole really had a lot that he wanted to say to me, I wasn’t entirely sure that I wanted to hear it.
Chapter Sixteen
Friday morning when I came back from my run, Rosalie had breakfast ready in the dining room for her overnight guests, so I made my way to the kitchen and grabbed an orange. I was headed toward my bedroom when I noticed a couple of Liz’s cookies sitting in a plastic bag on the counter with a note labeled with my name taped to the front. I pulled the paper off and unfolded it carefully.
Camdyn,
The cookie bribe worked for my mom, so I thought I would try it for myself. I was wondering if you might want to try to set my yard on fire again? Say around 6:00? I want to see you.
Cole
I held the note in my hand and stared absently out the window while I popped open the bag and sampled Liz’s chocolate chip cookie. I wondered for a moment why I was having such a hard time reading Cole, but then realized with a jolt that I had never been able to read a man. If I had, I definitely wouldn’t have had to worry about the proposals I’d entertained.
“Uh-oh,” I heard Rosalie say behind me, “she’s looking dreamily out the window while eating cookies.”
“Hi,” I told her, grinning and offering her a cookie. She shook her head and went about making more coffee.
“You were pretty late coming in last night,” she told me with a smile.
“Yeah, I bet you’re glad that you gave me that key right about now,” I stated with a laugh. She moved toward me and pulled the note from my hand, reading it and then handing it back to me.
“So you two are dating now?” she asked with a grin. Her giddiness was almost contagious.
“I honestly don’t know,” I sighed.
“Did you set his yard on fire?” she laughed. I considered responding defiantly, but instead I shrugged my shoulders.
“I might have had a marshmallow incident.”
A glance at the dining room revealed guests happily chatting about their plans for the day. I watched as Rosalie filled the coffee pot with water and then transferred it to the coffee maker. As soon as she had the coffee brewing, she walked around the counter and took me by the shoulders.
“Does he make you happy, honey?” she asked me then, looking at me seriously. “That should be all that matters.”
“Yeah, he makes me happy,” I whispered.
“Then fight for him,” she said with a smile, kissing me on the cheek before she headed back to the dining room.
-§-
I knew I couldn’t go to Cole’s again that night because I had already promised to watch Charlotte, so I drove out to his house around lunch time. I thought he might be home, but if he wasn’t, I could leave a note. Besides, I really wanted to go back out and look at those rocks again.
I drove up the long driveway and was met by Pop, who jumped up on me as soon as I got out of the car. I asked him if Cole was home, but he just barked and spun around a couple of times, so I went up on the porch and knocked on the door. After a few minutes I decided he definitely wasn’t there, so I went back out to my car and pulled a page out of my planner to write a note.
Cole,
I am afraid I have to take a pass on setting your yard on fire. As much as I would love to be there (to see you, not to be an arsonist), I promised Rachel that I would try not to burn her house down tonight (and watch Charlotte in the process). Maybe a rain check?
Camdyn
I slipped the note inside the door and was walking back down the steps when a car started coming up the drive, and I realized it was Liz. I waved when she looked at me, and she pulled her car in behind mine and got out to greet Pop.
“Camdyn, what a surprise!” she said as she bent down to scratch Pop behind the ears. “I was just coming to check on Pop. Sometimes we keep each other company.”
“Oh, I just came over to look at the rocks,” I told her, suddenly feeling very guilty for being there with Cole not home. “I didn’t think Cole would mind.”
“You could look at rocks just about anywhere,” she laughed.
“Not these,” I assured her. “We found some grave markers back near the fence line yesterday. Do you want to see them?”
She said yes, so we made the trek down Cole’s jogging path and out into the trees. She talked about Cole the whole time we were walking, telling me all the things that were great about him. I thought about telling her that she didn’t need to try so hard, but I just let her keep talking. When we finally reached the rocks, I stopped walking and Liz reached down to trace the first one with her finger. I told her what I believed the markings were, in relation to the stone at the cemetery.
“Well, I’ll be,” was all she said as she crouched there staring at them. I stood in front of them and tried to imagine Willa standing in that exact same spot, mourning the loss of her babies. This was probably the closest I would come to a physical connection to her – knowing that she stood right where I was standing. Robert probably carved those letters in the rocks himself.
“C, W, O,” Liz mused aloud, “just like you.” I laughed quietly.
“If you’re waiting for an emotional breakdown, you’re a day too late for that,” I told her, “but I’m afraid your son saw it on full display.”
“Cole came out here with you?” she asked innocently. I smirked at her and shook my head.
“You don’t have to act surprised,” I stated. “He told me you called and told him I was coming over.”
“Yes, I did,” she stated, standing up and facing me with a smile. “Is it so wrong for a mother to want her son to be happy?”
“No, that’s not wrong,” I assured her. “I’m just not sure I can make him happy.” She put her arm around me as we started walking back toward our cars, Pop darting in and out between us.
“He cares about you, I can tell,” she said.
Maybe, but I don’t know if I can handle being the second runner-up. What if Stephanie showed up and decided she wanted him back – what then?
“If that’s true,” I hesitantly told her, “things will have a way of working themselves out.”
We arrived at our cars, and I told Liz that I better go. She said she was going to play with Pop for a few minutes, so I waved at her as I left the driveway, thinking about the fact that I had definitely made my connection with Willa. What else was I waiting for? If I couldn’t get the book written now, nothing short of a miracle would save me.
-§-
I pulled into Rachel’s driveway at a quarter till six, thinking sadly that I could have been pulling into Cole’s driveway instead, but I shook
the thought out of my head. As soon as I stepped out of the car, the door opened and Charlotte’s brown curls were headed towards me at full speed. I picked her up as soon as she reached me and spun her around.
“Hi Cammie,” she said excitedly. “I set up my fairies, and a tea set. Mommy said we can have pizza to eat, and we can watch princess movies. I have wings for you, and there is lots of glitter.”
“Oh my goodness, I am so excited!” I exclaimed as her little arms squeezed my neck. “Let’s go inside so you can show me everything.”
I carried her into the house where Jeff was standing at the door, waiting for Charlotte to return. He took her out of my arms when we walked in and patted her on the backside as he set her down. She was off toward her room in a flash.
“She’s a wee bit excited,” he told me, closing the door and then sitting down on the couch. “She has been talking about playing fairies with Cammie all day.”
“I love that,” I said, sitting down across from him. “You look quite dashing. Where are you two going?”
“I made reservations for dinner in Memphis, if that’s okay. We’ll probably be out a little late.”
“That’s perfect,” I assured him. “And don’t worry, if I have any problems I can always call Liz.”
“True,” he laughed. “She has already been over here today to see if she could watch Charlotte, but Rachel insisted that she would be heartbroken if she didn’t get to play fairies with you.”
“Camdyn?!” I heard Rachel yell from the back of the house. I looked at Jeff, but he just shrugged his shoulders, so I walked back there to try to find her. She was standing inside her bedroom, and she motioned me inside.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. She turned around and pointed at her exposed back.
“I can’t zip my own dress,” she told me with a sigh. I pulled the zipper up and then stepped back. “Well, how do I look?”
“Incredible,” I stated. She leaned forward and gave me a hug, and then pulled back and smoothed her dress down.
“Thank you so much for the dress, and for watching Charlotte.”
“Just have a good time, that’s all I ask,” I said, as she walked out of the room and down the hall. I found Charlotte and told her that we would tell her mom and dad goodbye, so we went to the living room and saw them off. As soon as their car was out of sight, Charlotte grabbed my hand and pulled me back to her bedroom. She had a pair of wings set out on the bed, along with some glitter body paint and a couple of crowns. She had already pulled on a pink tutu that had wings attached. She asked if I would put some glitter on her, so I put a little on her cheeks.
Charlotte insisted that I put on the wings, and then she wanted to fix my hair. I sat down while she used little clips to push bits of my hair up onto my head, and then she started putting the glitter on my face. She put a little on my cheeks, and then quite a bit around my eyes. She was getting ready to affix the crown when I heard someone banging on the door. I picked her up and we headed to the living room together, where I peeked out the curtains and saw Cole’s truck. I said a prayer that I didn’t look too incredibly insane before I popped the door open a crack.
“Unca Cole!” Charlotte screamed, jumping out the door at him. He caught her and whispered something into her ear, and then he looked up at me with wide eyes.
“Charlotte has done my hair and makeup,” I explained as he stifled a laugh. I was vaguely aware of the wings tugging at the back of my shirt, but it was too late – he had already seen me.
“My mom would like me to take Charlotte to her house,” he said, reaching out a finger and wiping some of the glitter off my face. “She read the note you left me. She wants me to take you out.”
“No, Unca Cole!” Charlotte exclaimed. “Me and Cammie are fairies and we are having a tea party.”
“Is that right, Cammie?” he asked with a smirk.
“Yes, I’m afraid I will have to deny her request,” I told him in mock seriousness. “As you can tell by our wings, we are definitely fairies, and the tea party is about to begin. Charlotte, should we invite Uncle Cole to the tea party?”
“No, it’s only for fairies,” she insisted.
“Well, he is wearing a Batman t-shirt, so he’s practically a fairy,” I suggested.
“Batman is not a fairy,” Cole stated through narrowed eyes.
“Well, bats have wings…” I submitted. He leaned in close so he was right next to my ear and Charlotte couldn’t hear him.
“Why do I feel like you’re making fun of me?” he whispered.
“I’m not making fun of you,” I told him, taking a deep breath. “I’m just glad that you’re here, and I’m trying to find a reason for you to stay.” He pulled back a little until he was inches from me, looking into my eyes. I reached out slowly and put my hand on his arm, and he smiled.
“I guess Batman can come to the tea party, too,” Charlotte responded with a heavy sigh, “but you have to have glitter.” I held my hand over my mouth as I stifled a laugh, and then shrugged my shoulders.
“Well, in that case,” Cole began, looking down at Charlotte, “bring on the glitter.”
Charlotte took off toward her room as I stood there watching Cole with wide eyes, not quite believing that he was going to allow her to paint him with sparkles. Much to my surprise, he sat there at the coffee table while she created a couple of swirls on his cheek. When they were finished, Cole took a minute to call his mom, and then we all went to Charlotte’s bedroom and had a mock tea party with her stuffed animals. Afterward, I went into the kitchen to prepare the frozen pizza Rachel had left for Charlotte; however, Cole insisted that he make us dinner instead, so Charlotte and I sat on the couch reading a couple of books while he made spaghetti and garlic bread. When dinner was ready, I helped Charlotte take off her wings and tutu so she wouldn’t take a chance at getting them messy, and then we went to the table and I piled some spaghetti on her plate and mine. I was about to take a bite when Charlotte told me to stop.
“We have to say grace,” Charlotte insisted.
“Oh, okay,” I said, setting my fork back on the table.
I suggested Charlotte say grace, but she wanted Cole to do it, so she reached out and took both of our hands. Cole reached across the table and took my hand also, and I smiled before I closed my eyes. He asked for a blessing on the food, and for Rachel and Jeff to have safe travels. He prayed for Charlotte, that she would have a good time with us, and then he thanked God for bringing me into their lives. When he was finished, I looked up at him with curiosity, and he smiled and squeezed my hand before he let go.
After dinner, Charlotte wanted to watch Snow White, so she sat between the two of us on the couch, eventually climbing up on Cole’s lap to rest against him. When Snow White was over, I asked her if she wanted to get ready for bed, and then helped her take a bath to get all the glitter off of her skin and dressed her in some comfy pajamas. After her bath, she wanted to watch The Little Mermaid, so I turned it on and she crawled into my lap. It wasn’t very long until I heard her breathing heavily, and I looked down to see that her eyes were closed. Cole gently lifted her from my lap and carried her down the hall to her bedroom, where I watched as he tucked her in and kissed her on the forehead. Once he reached the door, I turned off the light while he glanced at her once more.
When we were alone, I suddenly remembered my crazy appearance. I started pulling the clips out of my hair one by one, running my fingers through any tangles, and then I grabbed a wet paper towel and smoothed the glitter off of my face. When I finished, I went to the living room to sit down by Cole, and I wiped the glitter off his face while he sat there staring at me.
“I’m glad you stayed,” I told him.
“Me too,” he said. “When you left last night, I was worried that you might be upset with me.”
“I wasn’t upset with you.”
“I’m glad, then. Your note said you would love to see me, so I thought… Of course my mom read the note before I got there, which
was a little annoying.”
“Yeah, I saw your mom at your house today,” I laughed. “I went to look at the rocks again – I didn’t think you would mind.”
“I definitely don’t mind,” he stated, reaching up to pull out a clip that I missed. My breath caught in my chest as his fingers raked through my hair.
“I will admit, last night when you said you had things you wanted to say to me, I had the feeling it wouldn’t be something I wanted to hear.”
“I know, I should have had the nerve to talk to you last night, but everything seemed so much like the night we met, I just didn’t want to ruin it.”
“So it’s not going to be a pleasant conversation, then,” I surmised. “I was afraid of that.”
“I don’t know that it’s going to be unpleasant, necessarily,” he told me, looking a little uncomfortable. By this time I was mega apprehensive. I was torn between wanting to know what he was going to say and wishing he would keep it to himself. He seemed so tormented, though, that I knew I had to let him get whatever it was off his chest.
“Okay, shoot,” I stated. “I can take it.”
“It’s just…” he began, then stood up and combed his hand through his hair. “I know it shouldn’t bother me so much, and I am not even saying it’s a big deal, but I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s driving me absolutely crazy.”
“What, exactly?” I asked with an intense amount of trepidation.
I’m not good enough? Too clumsy? I say stupid things sometimes? Is it Stephanie?
“Peter and Trey,” he sighed, sinking back down on the sofa next to me.
Peter and Trey? Yikes. I wish it had been the clumsy thing.
“Wow, you know their names,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. I looked over at him only to see that he was all too serious, and this was definitely bothering him.
A Reason to Run (The Camdyn Series Book 1) Page 23
