Delight (Legacies, #1)

by Erin Osborne

  My feelings confuse the hell out of me because Sydney is like no one I’ve ever gone for before. She’s strong, independent, and other than this moment in time, she’s graceful. Sydney is loving, caring, and the type of woman who would make a great ol’ lady. She’ll have my back but know and understand when she needs to step back and let me do my job. These are all thoughts I’ve had and no matter what I can’t shake them.

  Kids are a different topic all together. There’s a reason I won’t go near the topic of children. Yes, I’m around them when I need to be and I’ve helped take care of Karson. But, if I have my way, I won’t be around them or ever have them. The only reason I haven’t made sure I can’t have children of my own is because no one is getting near my cock and balls with a knife. That’s a hard pass for me.

  We have an hour until we open for the public when Blood walks in. He nods at me and sits down at a table away from where everyone is currently working. I follow him because I know he’s here to talk to me. It was just a matter of time because he cares for Sydney and Tonya is pissed at me. So, it’s up to him to talk to me and find out how I’m going to make this right.

  “She’s at Santana’s. Syd wants to see you. She won’t say anythin’, but I can see it in her eyes. The same as I know you want to see her and know what’s goin’ on with her. Bounce, you’re like another son to me, to Tonya and me, and we want the best for you. You have a fucked-up past, but that’s just it; it’s in the past. Sydney, Karson, and this new baby are your future and your chance to prove your past doesn’t define who you are,” Blood tells me.

  “I can’t go through that again, Blood. You know why I can’t be around kids and why I never want to have any of my own,” I tell him, taking a long sip of my water and wishing it were a beer or something stronger instead.

  “Go to her. Take tonight off and tell her about your past and why you can’t be there for her. Let her make her own mind up, Bounce. Sydney deserves that if nothin’ else. She needs to know she’s not alone because she sure as fuck is tryin’ to push the rest of us away,” Blood informs me. “Tonya won’t say anythin’ but she’s hurtin’ because Syd is still puttin’ you before herself. We’re your family and she doesn’t want to get in the way of that. She doesn’t want anyone pickin’ sides. Sydney wants us all to have your back and be at your side, not hers.”

  “Fuck!” I yell out. “This isn’t what I wanted at all.”

  “I know it’s not. It’s why you need to go and talk to her. Tell her your story and hear her story. You don’t know it all because none of us do. If she’s goin’ to open up to anyone, it’s goin’ to be you,” Blood tells me. “That’s how much faith she has in you after everythin’ that’s happened.”

  “I can’t just take the day off though. I need money just like everyone else,” I tell my President.

  “And think of Syd who hasn’t worked in more than a week. She has no money comin’ in and hates acceptin’ help from anyone. Tonya gave her no choice in the matter and took over a bunch of new clothes and things for them today,” Blood tells me. “Syd has no home of her own, nothin’ for Karson or her anymore, and she still won’t accept help without promisin’ to pay it back.”

  “I had no clue,” I tell him honestly.

  “Of course you didn’t. Go. Talk to her. Breaker is on his way here so you can go.”

  Blood means business. I have no choice but to go talk to Sydney and let her know why I am the way I am. This is not how I imagined my night going at all. But, Blood knows better than I do obviously. So, I nod my head and get up from the table. Leaving the club, I make my way to my bike in even more turmoil than I’ve been feeling up to this point. Today is the day I lay the burden of my past at Sydney’s feet. And hope she understands why I am the way I am.

  Getting on my bike, I head out of the parking lot and point myself in the direction of Santana’s house. This time, I stay out of my head and pay attention to the road and my surroundings. My gut is churning with the thought of what I’m about to do. The story I’m about to tell Sydney is not one I wanted to revisit again.

  Before I realize it, I’m at Santana’s house. I park in the driveway and shut my bike off. Climbing off, I hang my helmet on the handlebars and then make my way to the front door. After knocking, I only wait minutes before Santana answers it.

  “What do you want?” she asks me.

  “I need to talk to Sydney. She needs to know some things about me and today is the day I need to tell her,” I tell her honestly.

  “She’s in the bedroom. Karson will be home soon,” she tells me.

  “Where is he?” I ask, confused as to why he’s not here with his sister.

  “At school. Today is his first day,” she says.

  Nodding my head, I make my way to the bedroom Santana indicated. I pause for a second once I’m close to her and then knock on the door.

  “Come in,” I hear her muffled reply.

  Walking in the room, my heart races and the breath stops in my lungs as I look at her. Her face is a myriad of colors from dark purple, to yellow, green, and so dark it’s almost black. There’s still some swelling. As my eyes rake over her body, I see the countless bruises, cuts, and the swelling of her ankle. Syd has several pillows stacked up against her and her injured leg is elevated.

  “What are you doing here?” she asks me, trying to sit up.

  I’m at her side in a heartbeat. Sydney is struggling to sit up, and that’s the last thing I want for her. I help her sit up and get comfortable by rearranging the pillows for her.

  “I’m here because I need to talk to you. I have some things to explain as to why I am the way I am. It will help you understand why I can’t be here for the baby and you,” I tell her. “My story isn’t pretty and it’s made me into the man I am today. Growin’ up, my parents were lovin’, and made sure I had everythin’ I needed in my life. At least until I was about five years old.

  Shortly after my birthday, my mother was brutally raped and killed because of decisions my father made. I witnessed the entire thing happen. I couldn’t get away because one of the men made me watch. Then, when my father came home, he was killed after bein’ tortured for hours. Again, I was made to watch. This all happened because my dad borrowed money and got in over his head. From there I spent time in several foster homes. They were horrible. We were dirty, had nothin’ for ourselves, and were used for the money they got for us.

  The last home I was in, that was the worst one. They made the children do things. I fought them to the point they left me alone. But, they made the younger ones do things on film and I couldn’t protect them. I took beatin’ after beatin’ and suffered because I didn’t want these children bein’ violated anymore. It still happened though. So, I made the decision when I was very young I wasn’t goin’ to have any kids because I wouldn’t be able to protect them. Same with havin’ a woman of my own. Now, it seems I have a baby on the way and the thoughts and feelin’ I have for you are confusin’ as fuck to me.”

  Sydney has tears running down her face as she listens to me talk. I don’t want her pity though.

  “How did you manage to get out of it?” she asks me.

  “After the cops raided the house, I escaped and took my chances on the street. I was thirteen at the time. Needin’ food and other things, I started stealin’ money and beggin’. It was hard because I didn’t want to be caught and put back in the foster care system. One of those people happened to be Blood. He took me back to the clubhouse and instead of callin’ the cops on me, he took me under his wing and made me do punishments because I tried to steal from him. That’s how I became a part of the club,” I answer her.

  After a few minutes, I feel her hand on my arm. She’s looking at me and there’s no pity in her eyes any longer. She is looking at me as if she completely knows where I’m coming from.

  “You’re not the only one who’s had a rough start to life, Bounce. I had a mom and dad when I was born. Then my mom got hurt at work and ended up getting ho
oked on her pain meds. She chose them over her husband and me as a baby. When my father couldn’t handle it anymore, he took off but left me with her. I’ve never seen him since then. Then she met Lloyd and he got her hooked on harder drugs. He turned her into a whore who used her pussy in exchange for drugs. I had to look after myself and then Karson when he came along. That’s why it’s so hard for me to accept anything from anyone. Including Santana.

  I had no choice when Karson was born. It was either take care of him as my own or let him suffer the same fate as I did growing up. I put all my dreams of going away to college, a life, finding a man to be with, on hold because of her choices. I was beaten, threatened to be used to lure men in for drugs, and my mom constantly told me she was going to start pimping me out to make extra money for her drugs. Did it damage me? Abso-fucking-lutely. However, I still had to go on because of my brother. And I’d do it all over again for him. Am I ready to have a child of my own? No, I’m not. But I’m not going to get rid of it either. I’m sorry, Bounce, but I can’t,” she tells me and I know she’s still just brushing over her past. It’s more details than any of us have ever heard before though.

  “Sydney, we’re both fucked up because of our parents. I just don’t know how to get past it,” I tell her.

  “You get past it because it’s the past. What happened to you and what you did to survive doesn’t define the man you are; it’s circumstances that were beyond your control. I have every faith in you because I see how you are with Karson. You’re patient, kind, caring, and given the chance, you’d love him as your own. That’s the man you are, Bounce,” Sydney tells me, placing her hands on my face so I have no choice but to look at her and believe every word she’s said to me.

  “My name is Killian. No one other than Blood and Tonya know that. To the club, I’ve always been Bounce,” I tell her, needing her to know my name for some reason.

  “Killian. I like it,” she says, giving me a small smile.

  “Syd, if you can forgive me, I’d like to give this a try between us. We’ll take things slow and see where it goes. At least until you’re healed a little more,” I tell her, holding my breath because I have no clue how she’s going to answer.

  “I’d like that, Killian,” she says, no hesitation or anything on her part.

  “Good. Because for some reason, you’ve started breakin’ down all my barriers and walls. You’re always on my mind and I’m more than ready to make you mine. But, we’ll make sure it’s what we both want before it happens. And you’ll have to be patient when it comes to the baby. I’m still goin’ to fuck up and be distant when it comes to that part of us. Karson is different for some reason. I’m not sure why, but my heart belongs to him too,” I say. “I’ve already started fallin’ in love with you and I can’t stop it no matter how much I try or how hard I fight it.”

  “Well, I’m falling in love with you too, Killian. Have been since you took me in the dressing room,” she tells me.

  Before we can say much more, Karson comes barreling in the door. He comes to a stop when he sees me sitting on the bed with Sydney.

  “Bounce!” he suddenly yells. “You’re here!”

  “I’m here, buddy,” I answer as Syd and I laugh at his excitement.

  He carefully climbs up on the bed with us and then tells us all about his first day at school. It’s the most I’ve ever heard Karson talk at one time. Hell, in all the time I’ve been around them. This is what I want every day for the rest of my life. Other than when our past gets in our way, I think life with Sydney, Karson, and our baby, will be exactly what I’ve been missing and never knew it. At least that’s my hope. I hope I don’t mess this up beyond repair. Or find it’s not what I truly want after all.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Sydney a.k.a Delight

  IT’S BEEN A week since Bounce and I had the talk about why he was pushing me away. While I completely understand where he’s coming from, I had a shitty upbringing too and I couldn’t push people away or make the decision to hold everyone at arm’s length. Admittedly, I did not have it as bad as he did so I can’t imagine what he’s been through. It’s horrible for anyone much less a younger child who’s trying to find their way through life.

  Bounce has been to see us every day and spent time with Karson outside. He watches me like a hawk because I’ve been getting out of bed and moving around more than I have been. If I don’t, I’m going to be stiff as hell and I’ll get too used to being in this damn bed. So, I get up, but I don’t do much. I walk from the room to the living room or the backyard and that’s about it. Then I walk back when it’s time to go back inside or back to the bedroom.

  Santana hasn’t been around much because she’s been working more on site and she has a new man in her life. So her time has been split between working and spending time with him. I don’t blame her at all for living her life and going about her day as usual. It’s what I want her to do. I’m not going to be the one to hold her back at all.

  Tonya’s been spending more time here too. She comes at night when Bounce is at work. I think they don’t want to leave me alone too long, but I honestly don’t mind. I’ve found motorcycle club books on Amazon and have been reading on the Kindle app on my new phone. So, they’ve been keeping me occupied while Karson is at school and when I’m alone. Tonya is even reading them as I finish them. Then we spend time talking about them. So far it’s only been one book because Tonya doesn’t have the time like I do to read.

  Today, I finally get to leave the house. I have a doctor’s appointment and I’m going to drive myself there. Santana left me her car and that’s what I’ll be driving. So, I take a shower, letting the hot water washing over my tired and achy body. My muscles slowly relax and for the first time I feel halfway decent.

  Once I’m out of the shower, I brush out my hair and take the time to do my make-up. It’s not enough to cover all the bruising, but it definitely covers up most of the bruises that are already fading. I even apply a light-colored eye shadow just because I want to feel good today. Then I put on a pretty dress and make my way out of the house with my purse and Santana’s keys in hand.

  As I drive through town, I have the windows in the car down and the radio turned up. A Thousand Years by Christina Perri plays. I’ve been listening to this song a lot lately and Bounce has caught me more than once. He simply rolls his eyes and turns it down when I have it on. He’s not big on the sappy songs. But, it makes me laugh when we do this on a regular basis.

  Pulling into the parking lot of my doctor’s office, I see a motorcycle parked close to the building. Looking more intently, I see Bounce relaxing on his bike. I’m not sure what he’s doing here. Knowing he’s not sure of the baby yet, I purposely didn’t tell him about the appointment today. So, I park and make my way over to him.

  “Hey! What are you doing here?” I ask him, letting the shock show on my face.

  “Tonya let me know you had an appointment today. So, I thought I’d surprise you and come to it with you,” he answers.

  “Okay. Well, um, I’m not sure what they’re going to do today. You don’t have to go in the room with me if you don’t want to,” I say.

  “Nope. I’m goin’ in. I’m here for you and the baby,” he says.

  Bounce grabs my hand as we walk inside the building together. I walk up to the counter and let the receptionist know I’m there for an appointment and then take a seat to wait for the nurse to call me back. I look around as Bounce gets stares from every woman in the room. Including the employees. They can look all they want, but he’s here with me.

  Most of the women are looking at him with lust-filled eyes. They want to take a walk on the wild side and take him to bed. The rest of them are looking at him as if they want to attack him. These women think he’s the reason I have bruises on my face and arms. What the fuck? Yeah, I know women stay with their abusers sometimes, but they have no clue what’s going on and they have no right to judge either one of us.

  “Sydney?” a nu
rse calls out as she opens the door.

  I stand up and Bounce walks back with me. He waits as I’m weighed and have to go in to leave a urine sample. Then, the nurse walks us to the exam room and she takes my vitals. Bounce watches every move made and his eyes glare at the nurse if he even thinks she’s hurting me. I smile at him to make him understand I’m okay and this is all supposed to be happening.

  “Today, you’re going to see the doctor and have an ultrasound done. You’ll be seeing Doctor Bozeman. She’ll be in with you shortly. Please undress and put the gown on,” she says before leaving.

  Bounce helps me undress and I watch as his eyes go from curious about what is going on with me to filled with lust. Now isn’t the time for that though. So, once I’m back on the bed in the room, he covers the lower half of my body with the sheet and takes the seat by my head.

  “You do this every single appointment?” he asks once he’s sitting down next to me and holding my hand.

  “Yeah. I’m sorry you were getting stares in the waiting room. Half the women wanted to fuck you and the rest thought you did this to my face,” I tell him.

  “It’s okay. We know what happened and that’s all that matters,” he assures me, placing a kiss on my temple.

  A knock on the door alerts us to the doctor being here. She comes in and introduces herself to both of us. There’s no judgement as she takes in the bruising on my body. I’m still in pain with my ribs and that’s going to take a long time to heal. So, I don’t try to sit up as she talks to us.

  “Looking in your chart, I see you were discharged from the hospital just over a week ago,” she begins.

  “Yeah.”